Vulnerability

Vulnerability!

That’s the word of this week since my book came out. I have been sent photos of friends holding my book, Erasable. I have had endless text messages about how the book made them feel. I have had an outpour of love beyond what I can ever wrap my head and heart around.

I don’t know much about how it is received by strangers. But, I do know one thing for certain: it’s a book about overcoming tremendous challenges. It’s a story similar to yours. It’s you in many ways. Take whatever resonates.

We read books, watch movies, and listen to others tell stories because we want to feel seen, understood, and accepted. Mine is no different.

I have been asked about the foreword. My dear friend, Rebecca Saltman, was kind enough to write it. She introduced me to the publishers when I contributed a chapter in her and Jade Redher’s anthology, U Empath You, back at the beginning of the year.

When I was in a moment of getting ready to pull the entire project and close shop, my publisher suggested I let Rebecca read the book. Only three other people had read this book before (many years ago): Angelica Pizano, Michael Thomas, and a professor in Durham, North Carolina, who mutilated the first draft (so much so that I hid the manuscript for almost 3 years in a desk drawer). But, he did me a favor because it was the exact healing I needed from this memoir. I had not come to terms with loss, rape, grief, heartache, and all the delicious joy that has come from this incredible life. I am blessed to have this life, the children who call me Mom, and the folks who raise me up to believe in myself… daily!

The professor was kind enough to show me that I still had to shift the voice. My first draft was written in stream of consciousness because I wrote it right after I lost my memory… and it was the only voice I had available. It read as if you were in my head and many times it was lost in translation.

So, Rebecca sat and read the pdf, pulling me from the doubts and insecurities. She had a stern talk with me, basically letting me know to put on my big girl panties on and move through the publishing process. I cannot imagine having anyone do the foreword as she knows the process of writing and publishing. Her foreword is a love letter of sorts as she retells the story of how her deceased father, Jack, came to me on one of our first conversations back in the summer of 2021.

I am beyond grateful for the love and support, not just from those who know me, but many who are reading this story. I have had friends from years ago reach out asking why I hadn’t shared the tidbits of my life. Why I never told them of my accidents?

I live forward. I don’t live back there. The story isn’t about survival. The story is about thriving even in the midst of turmoil. It’s about you. You taking every step with faith and a certainty that no matter what happens in your life you have the will and choice to make it through. You are invincible… not invisible. You matter. You aren’t erasable even when you feel unseen. And, if you aren’t feeling it then please look around and see what needs shifting in your life.

Thank you for the messages, emails, texts and phone calls. I had so many reservations about my story for two decades. I also knew that in order to be really honest I needed to put away any expectations of how it would be received. In the end, Erasable has healed the inner wounds that had me imprisoned for so long. It has lightened my heart with massive release and forgiveness. I feel free for once in this lifetime. I am stepping into a divine journey of self-love and acceptance.

I am in love… with you all! Thank you!

Millie

#1 Amazon Best Seller

I woke this morning to this message from my publisher.

“Millie, you did it! At 1:00 a.m. January 14th, your book became a #1 Bestseller.

Congratulations! Your book is touching lives and inspiring resilience in all who read it. Thank you for trusting us with your story. We’re honored to be your publisher. ❤

WE (you all included) made this happened. Thank you. I’m deeply moved. I am speechless. It’s a lovely honor and I pray the book touches you and resonates with you. Labels and categories are great but, to me, what matters is that you recognize your inner strength to overcome challenges in your life. That you don’t give up when things get hard. And, that you recognize your love and light in this world.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! I love you.

Millie

Today is the Day

It is here. Today. The day my memoir, Erasable, is out on Amazon.

I woke earlier this morning with this giddy sense of anticipation, and finally calmed.

For weeks, thinking about this book launch date, I was stricken by anxiety and hesitation. I cannot count the amount of times I wanted to ask the publisher to stop it all.

Fear! It got a hold of me like it hasn’t in decades.

I will be seen. I will be judged. I will be felt in the story. Once it’s out there…. The ego has a lot to say!

I do not feel that today. I feel like I birthed and released a massive part of my life.

Last night I sat and wrote more in my next book, a metaphysical woo-woo novel. Finishing Erasable has given me a zest for the next project.

Thank you all for the love and support. Erasable was completed because of the massive tribe I have that keeps pushing me to come out of my shell and share.

The special book price won’t last but a day.

I love you!

Erasable: A Sacred Journey of Invisibility to Clarity.

https://a.co/d/9ke3H7p

Erasable – Hard Copy

I am feeling it all at this very moment. My publisher messaged me that the book was in my mailbox since Friday. I ran across the dark street gripping the envelope. Once I opened it… OMGosh.

No other book I’ve written has had such an impact. Nothing else has felt so intense and healing simultaneously.

When my publisher reminded me that it is next week, the 11th, it became even more real. Holding it seems surreal. Twenty years all inside a computer waiting for the perfect timing.

My five year old climbed in bed with me as I was tearing up. He took the book from my hands. “Mommy, you wrote a book.” I said, “I have written several. But this one is about my life.”

He sounds out the title which is a big word for a kindergartener. He starts to tear up. I see the puddles of tears in his green eyes. He hugs me.

“Can you read it to me like a bedtime story?”

“When you get older. It’s a big-people book!”

He smiles while wiping his tears. “You did good, Mommy.”

I read the acknowledgment part to him about all my kids and he smiles and thanks me. Then we lay together. He wanted to go wake his sister up. I told him that I would share with her in the morning.

Sweet tears. Sweet love. I am blessed. Not by anything but the recollection of a well-lived and loved life. His reaction will forever be tattooed in my heart.

I love you all for the constant support and love your give.

Millie

The Secret to Change

The secret to change is in the awareness.

We are so hard on ourselves. You notice that? How deeply ridiculous we treat ourselves at times? We aren’t always that hard with others.

Saturday I was sent the final edits for my memoir, Erasable. I opened up the manuscript and became paralyzed. There wasn’t much to change but the idea of having to re-read this story (MY STORY) oh my gosh… it brought me to my knees.

I had to relive parts of me I had forgotten. I wrote the first part of this memoir 20 years ago, right after my accident. I worked on it 2 years ago and redid a lot of it. But it’s been a long while since I went detail by detail, line by line, word by word, mano a mano.

I was still under the weather dealing with the crud. I was struggling just to take care of the kids and myself. And, here in an email, comes this manuscript with a timely deadline in order to get it out on 1/11/23.

So, I cried. I let the publisher know that maybe this wasn’t a good enough book to finish. The editor and publisher immediately returned my email with suggestions and loving support. I understand a lot of authors at the last minute fear their words being put out there. They talked me off the ledge. They suggested I call a mutual friend of ours (who had put out a book earlier this year). She held my hair and my hand throughout the day from many miles away and she was vital to my ability in moving through all the emotions.

I worked on it Saturday and Sunday and it was sent back.

Was it hard? Not once I started!
Was it emotional? You betcha!
Does it share a message that others will understand? I have no doubt!
It is me at my most vulnerable. It’s raw, and real.

To read of the woman I was then and the woman I’ve become now in a book… it’s something. It’s transformational.

The secret to change is always in the awareness because once you know better, you do better. Once you become responsible and accountable for your decisions, your choices, and your life… the world opens up in a very different frequency.

Fear will stop us from succeeding. Had I let that fear of being seen take over, there may not be a book. For that matter, I wouldn’t be writing the way I write daily. I believe that stories connect us. Words comfort us, move us, and allow us to recognize that we aren’t alone.

I love you. Thanks for always being here with me.

Millie ❤️

It’s Happening

Oh my goodness!

It’s becoming real! Just got off a Zoom meeting with my publisher. My memoir: Erasable, has a tentative publishing date of 1/11/23 (which is my favorite number 111). It’s almost here.

It took me 20 years to write this book. T-w-e-n-t-y! It has been a labor of love, vulnerability, trust, courage, and acceptance. In the process it has released and healed me. Each word navigates my sacred journey from invisibility to clarity.

I cannot wait to have it in my hands and available for you to read it.

Woohoo! It’s happening. I am giddy… can you tell?

I am beyond grateful for the support from my community.

I love you…Millie