Release it to the Cosmos

(Google image since I could not take a picture of the man.)

This morning on my way to take the kids to camp, I watched a young man, half-naked, on the side of the interstate yelling at the trees and sky. It was right before 7AM. My windows were down and as I passed him I heard, “F*cK You!” as his fists were pointing upward.

I had this sensation of stopping, but I had the kids. And I am not part of this man’s story. A piece of me marveled at the ability to shout out to the Heavens, that raw vulnerability (even if he was strung out on something) to say exactly what he was feeling.

Most of us don’t.

We bury the pain or the anger. We bulldoze over it. We expect things will change and get angry when they don’t. We demand, beg, plead and complain about it.

Whenever I’ve had enough, I climb the tallest mountain around here early enough not to bump into anyone. When I get to the top, I sit on the largest boulder. The cows on that field surround me. Then I yell to the top of my lungs. I don’t stop till I feel the energy move through me. I sit for a bit. I may cry. I may write. I may just close my eyes and allow the sensations of nature embody me. I become still, smelling the earth, tasting the wind, hearing my heart beat.

I watched this man today and recognized it is time for another trip up the mountain. Those releases are powerful. I had a special pillow for one of my children when she was small so that she could hit it and yell. It was just a way for her to stabilize her little emotional body. Sometimes it was exactly what she needed. Other times it made it worst. We always found a happy medium.

This man needed this today. He had enough (or not enough). Who knows!

Today, allow yourself to feel what needs to move through you. Lock yourself in the car and yell. Scream in a pillow. Allow the energy to move through you and don’t filter it, avoid it, or reject it. Our bodies are transitioning with all the collective madness. If you can’t give yourself permission to let it out, your physical body begins to absorb it all in toxic ways. Self-care is also about releasing the things that haunt you.

I love you! Go love yourself as well!

Millie

Find Your Fire

I found something last week while at the retreat in Mexico: my value and my fire. I have been valuing my worth based on the woman I was for so many years in my marriage; the woman who wasn’t seen or appreciated. I am not that woman any longer. The ability to devalue ourselves supersedes any other value others place on us.


No more! No mas!


I sat around with those incredible successful women and the first few days I felt like an imposter. I was once them. I was in the corporate world, making tons of money, living a life of luxury. Twelve years ago I ran away from my life by coming up to the mountains and buying a rundown motel with the dream of turning it into a retreat center. I experienced hardship like never before. I was stripped from everything and found my spirituality front and center. It became the catalyst for my beliefs now. Even after I left that business I felt something else was missing.

It was me. I was the missing link!


Then I settled. I settled into a life that was harder than it needed to be and I worked at it really well. I was tenacious in my pursuit to just settle into someone else’s beliefs. And there, in that space, I forgot my worth. Do you recognize this? I see this in so many of my sessions.


I walked the beach in Chacala several times a day. Sometimes alone, other times in the arms of a woman, as I listened to their stories. We are all connected. We all struggle. We have all worked hard to become who we are. I worked really hard to fit a certain ideology of the woman I had been for years. And that woman is no more.


From here on I will be working on my business as if it was a business and not some hobby. I need to make a life for me and these two little ones that gives me the opportunity to help others without staying in struggling mode.


A friend said this to me a few months ago: “You are gifted beyond measures but you still think you aren’t worth it. It’s like when you lose a ton of weight and you still look for clothes in that larger size. You don’t recognize that you are smaller. That is how you see yourself, as if you don’t have something valuable to give someone. Get out of the big-sized clothes and see your worth in your business….” This didn’t really hit me until this past week.


My website sacredjourneyinward.com is going to be shifting as well. My prices need to increase as everything around our economy has as well. I have a unique way of sharing space with my clients. I can share more in a half hour than a lot of people do in an hour. The information comes through quickly and efficiently. Somehow I have devalued my worth based on how easily it comes through. That is a gift and a blessing. And like an artist, it is unique to me.


I will also be creating classes online. My book, Erasable, is now being worked on by my publisher. I have two more that I am editing to also get published. I am venturing into public speaking (which is a massive change from being in hiding). I am coaching a lot more these days as well. I am stretching, growing, and expanding emotionally and spiritually. I don’t always recognize this new worth, but I am trusting it and moving with it. It is overdue!


Thank you for sticking with me. I have had so many Aha moments in the past week. The one that sticks out the most is my deep awareness of how I mother the world. I love. I am a social servant and so are you. Below is a beautiful piece by Jaiya John which will resonate with you!


I love you,
Millie

How Much Do You Need to Endure?

We live in a society that tells us to not give up, to suck it up, to move past it….
At what cost?

Sometimes accepting the lesson, through defeat, is part of the process. Letting go, or quitting, doesn’t mean you failed. It means you have adjusted the sails and are able to move to other things. It also allows for humility, acceptance, forgiveness and self-care.

I retreat when I am experiencing heavy stuff. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to work it through. I just want it to move through me and out. I feel that the more it is discussed with others, the more the shit-show continues. I don’t want to add extra energy to the things I cannot control. I want to close it up and move on.

I am not a perfectionist… by far! So, I don’t have that tenacity to beat myself up trying and trying until I reach some insane irrational expectation. I can have a bad day, or bad week, or a challenging season but when it’s over I keep going on to the next thing.

Yesterday was such a day! And I made the mistake to challenge the Universe by saying out loud, “Really, that’s all you got? Give it to me all in one day so tomorrow I can get past it.” At that moment I felt the cosmos laugh and returned, “Just wait!”

Today is a new day. I refuse to carry the remains from an emotional exhausting day into this new dawn. I let go when the pain gets to be so insufferable that I can’t breathe. Life happens in cycles. This new day is an opportunity to create different experiences.

If you are at that threshold of holding on or letting go, do yourself a favor and just be. Don’t overanalyze it. If your body is asking you to let that crap go… do it. If you feel you can still hold on to whatever the challenge, do it.

You are the only one who knows what you can navigate and for how long.

I love you,

Millie

A New Level of Spirituality

A lot gets mentioned about economic and material poverty in our world. But because of these issues and events we, as human beings, are coming out of an era of spiritual poverty. People are searching for meaning, awakening, and evolving to fulfill the absence that money once occupied. There is no shopping, eating out, purchasing expensive homes and cars, or traveling to fill the void inside. Therefore, we find that spiritual quest is on a rise these days.

Two years ago we were put in a global time out. Millions of souls have transitioned in the last twenty-four months. Wars have begun and others have ended. The pandemic of fear took over our world like the plague. We’ve learned so much about tenacity, unity, division, faith, belief, manipulation and still we continue searching for a truth that is individual like our fingerprints.

Folks are recognizing that separation from self is not living an authentic life. It is actually sleep walking through it. People are enriching their lives with a faithful quest for Divinity. We are trailblazing into new frontiers of conscious shifters. Between a massive Exodus and a deep awareness of time being precious, we are searching more than ever for our place in the world… a new world we’ve never experienced beforehand.

In the past we have looked and searched for meaning, purpose, and aspiration from any source while filling ourselves with technology, drugs, alcohol, food, etc. People now seem to be questioning their choices more carefully. Spiritual richness comes from acceptance and allowing humanity to join together. It is about witnessing the old paradigms and pushing through what hasn’t worked. Strangers become friends because we see God looking through their eyes. Judgment is no longer dictating our decisions. We are rising into unity.

When we step away from the media, the fear-based headlines, we begin to witness the truth of our power. We are miraculous beings in full creation at all times. We recognize that there no borders in reality, only those drawn on a map; that money is a piece of paper without real value except what we give it, and governments have as much authority as we give them. And I am understand that it’s not as easy as black or white. We live in a flux of endless man-made gray areas that govern and determine our freedom.

But, there is God. There is a omnipotence source that is also always available to us. We live in a Matrix-like simulation and we get to unplug at any given time to see the real world. It’s up to each of us to disengage from the masses and find our moral compass.

I remember once reading a quote from Stan Dale, the founder of the Human Awareness Institute: “If God wanted to hide, He would hide in human beings because that’s the last place we would think to look.” I know this is now changing. We have been forced to take accountability for our divinity.

I feel we are searching more within ourselves and others in this new era. I believe we are looking through a child’s eyes, a stranger’s smile, or a friend’s words and finding God giving us a personal message. I believe in synchronicity, serendipity, and faith that we are all becoming more conscious of the thin thread that ties us together. I believe in Quantum physics, science of the mind, and the chemistry of God. I am continuously exploring pushing consciousness to the next level. Because of this, I know in my heart, that we are entering spiritual richness and leaving the spiritual poverty as a lesson in our human path. The footprints of selfishness, isolation, addiction, and destruction will be a distant memory in the near future. And, this is what opens my heart and allows me to look forward to deeper spiritual growth. This is also what keeps me reaching out and sharing stories of compassion and kindness even when they might seem mundane.

I may seem naive and gullible to many, for believing in this new utopia, but I have seen it in dreams, alternate timelines, and cosmic travels. I have sat in ceremony with divine plant medicine and experienced visions that have shown me the evolution of humanity. Whether it may happen, or not, does not matter. It all starts with believing and placing the vibration of love out to Gaia and it’s habitants.

An opened heart to the world brings peace, love and unity for all. I am so grateful for what lies ahead. It may get a little bumpy before we experience this new world, but I am here to assist through my own vibrational shifts. I am deeply blessed that I am not alone on this journey. Thank you for joining me!

I love you….Millie

The Joys of Mamahood

These two little ones are like magnets. They cannot be apart from each other too long. They fight, argue, and then have to crawl up next to each other. Their beginnings weren’t easy. Kali Rose, was my daughter’s first born. My ex and I took her in when she was only 5 months old. My daughter came into my life from Romania when she was 9 years old. She is mentally unable to take care of herself, let alone a child. Luke was her second child. He is 3 years younger than Kali Rose.

It took us four years to finalize his adoption. He was with his bio-mom for 10 months of his life. It was not a pretty or easy story… one that I can’t share without my heart breaking into tiny pieces. He is healthy and happy and one of the most forgiving souls I’ve ever encountered in my life.

My daughter has had two other babies who are now loved by forever-adopted families.

I may know a little bit about being a mother… of 8 kiddos. I have learned that patience is the essence of relating to our children. That humor can change a room full of kids. That love is the bare necessities of their development. And, that somedays are hard and full of challenges and things can shift in a minute. All of it passes in the blink of an eye.

I don’t know if I am a good mother or not. It’s not for me to decide. Some of my kids will say I am. Others, not so much. And we all have our stories.

I have been brought into this world to mother, not just my children, but myself and others. It’s in the past few years that I have learned to mother me in places that I neglected.

I miss my mother on holidays like today. She was a hard woman, and she was soft. She was courageous, and she was fearless. She taught me the things I wouldn’t do to my children from what she did to me. My mother was a warrior and an incredible powerful example of strength in my life. There was an unstoppable force in her that dictated everything and everyone around her. Her perseverance was definitely passed onto my genes. When I began to adopt children she was not happy to say the least. She judged my choices terribly. And, as most people who cannot accept their own choices, she lashed out at every decision I made with my children. However, she did love them in her own way.

Mothering my kiddos has been the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life. Even on the days that I am exhausted, hurt, and have no clue what to do, I find myself laughing and crying simultaneously.

What makes a mother a good one?

Your ability to transcend all the hardships and turn them into lessons. Your ability to forget quickly and forgive deeply. Letting go is the secret to this profession. If you hold on too tight you lose your grip.

I used to compare myself to the perfect PTA mothers at their school when my children were little. I could barely get all six out of the house and when I would drop them off at school I would judge myself based on how the mothers all looked. My kids were dressed, clean but sometimes (okay maybe a lot) disheveled. They were loved deeply. They knew it and felt it.

Today, on Mother’s Day, I hope you remember to mother YOU. Recall those moments you thought would last forever and you made it. You have done your job. I also want to honor those who aren’t mothers of little people but animals. Others who have chosen to mother the world with their love and presence. I believe there are fathers out there mothering the hell out of their children alone. My hat goes off to all of you. Every single person in this world has the ability to mother the world.

I love you… love yourself with the same fierce intensity you give to others, including your children.

Millie

The pics below are from our day exploring yesterday:

Today is the Big Day for Our Book

Are you an Empath or Know One???

We have collectively gone through the greatest empathy exercise of all time.  As an empath, you may be feeling more “feels” than ever before and are seeking tools to manage them. We have been there, and U Empath You is our answer to that call.

U Empath You is a collection of stories by extraordinary sensitives who have navigated significant and sometimes life-altering transformations. These empaths have at times wobbled along the way or resisted their inner feelings and then decided to pursue their knowing and face their trials with courage, grace, and humor. Their stories will ease your journey with guidance and inspiration so you can make the empowering changes you envision for your life.

The need for energy hygiene has expanded and intensified as an unprecedented number of people awaken in their empathic nature. Our desire is to assist our fellow empaths in utilizing their gifts and shift from “Help me, this is too much” to “I am showing up as my bright, shiny self!”

It’s finally here and available for you to purchase today!!!! Go to Amazon and get your copy on Kindle for $.99. This price is only for two days!!!! This book is going to give you the assurance that you aren’t alone with all those feelings you have. You are magnificent. And, there are so many souls just like you. In this book you will find twenty authors who feel the same, including myself. I am so glad we are living in these times: you and me together!!!!

I love you,

Millie

Exercise in Love


While in meditation this sentence came up. I found myself sobbing with its truth and vibration. Your life is pure ongoing eternal exercise in love. The love for yourself and others. The love for humanity. The love for who you were and who you are becoming.

I love you,

Millie

Searching for the Rainbow


Life will present the utmost challenging lessons at a time when they feel the most intense. In that intensity the wholeness of essence and body integrate to conjure up the understanding. This can arrive through illness, loss, difficult decisions and challenges, matters of the heart, and so on. There is no such thing as degrees of classifications. There is no way to measure these lessons against another. These are moments you step back and wonder, “Why? Why is this happening right now? I thought I was advancing. I thought I had learned this particular subject and lesson in the past.” And, this is exactly the moment that God shows grace, love, and the ability to strengthen the very core of you. This is the moment you feel life running through your veins and pumping blood into your heart. It is then that just breathing becomes an adventure.


Decisions are the stepping stones to the journey in a lifetime. Do I go this way or that way? Do I go straight and make my own path where I don’t see one? I am learning every day that the only way to travel is through faith. There is a higher purpose to the soul’s calling. The higher you advance on the spiritual journey the more difficult and challenging the lessons seem to become. No one said that walking on faith is easy. Walking on ego is a cinch, but this walk of not knowing, surrendering and trusting through Divinity is never without heavy struggles.


I believe in justice. I believe in good. My ex-husband used to complain to me all the time, “You believe in rainbows, fairy tales, unicorns and happy endings. Life isn’t like that. It’s f*cking brutal and unfair. Stop living in La-La Land.” I disagree wholeheartedly! I believe we are brought to the edges of decisions and struggles to find that love conquers everything. It isn’t how fast you get to the top but how you handle getting there. I believe everything has a reason, even when we don’t see it. Nothing happens without leaving a footprint of knowledge. We are archaeologists searching for what the past has taught us in order to move into the future. We have a choice to look for the rainbows and butterflies or the shitstorm. We were taught to believe that if there is no struggle, there is little progress. So, when things happen that rattle the very core of my existence, I know there is HUGE blessing ahead. I may not be able to see the complete rainbow but I see the light moving through the clouds.


And perhaps we aren’t meant to struggle. I often think it is an old program instilled in our little heads from early on. What if we were raised to believe anything and everything is possible? That life isn’t hard? That we can accomplish anything without obstacles? It’s all a reframing of beliefs and letting go of old paradigms.


I wish for you the chance to look at your challenges and face them with faith, beauty and love. Ask the questions that the soul yearns for you to acknowledge and learn. It is there that the answer light the path to the journey. Keep searching for the silver linings and rainbows…always. Ahhhh, what a beautiful journey we can choose to take!

I love you,

Millie

for more of my spiritual writings please visit my other site: https://www.sacredjourneyinward.com/blog

Be Kind to You

Be soft with your spirit. Be gentle with your essence. Rid yourself from the negative self-talk. You become everything you say that you are or that you are not. We are born every day, every minute, every second. We are here on borrowed time. Make it lovingly serene with your heart so that you can present your soul lovingly to another. This struggle is all bullshit at the end of the day. It doesn’t matter what you did or haven’t done. This moment, wasted reading this, or contemplating what hasn’t been scratched off your To-Do List is all irrelevant.


I have spent so much time of my life punishing myself for not being one way or another, for not fitting in, for not being enough. And for what? I came here to live not sabotage myself. No one can ever be harder on me than myself. I will be 54 years old this weekend. I earned every one of those gray hairs, wrinkles and life experiences. I have loved, lost, rejoiced, and grown. I have earned a massive medal of honor for surviving. You too! We all have. This second part of my life is about truly embracing me. I am softer and kinder with the totality of my life and those around me. I have finally reached a point of acceptance.


Love is all we are here to do. Hold a friend’s hand in need. Hug your lover as if it was the last time. Kiss those kids tightly. Smile at a stranger. Open doors for an elderly person. Compliment a cashier. Delete the toxic folks out of your life. If they don’t raise you then they have taught you something. It’s time to move on. Use your energy wisely. My God, just get out of your head and lovingly give to another who needs to feel that the illusion of loneliness is not drowning their existence. It matters. It all matters to that one human who is struggling with life. Stop the craziness of self-doubt and anxiety because there is no way you leave this life alive. So… live for yourself with honor, love, and compassion. You don’t own this blue planet alone. I am here. You are here. Let’s be here together in peace and harmony. We got this!

I love you dearly,

Millie

Remembrance

Something woke again

after a long sleep of doubts,

anger, hurt and questions

that buried me in an open tomb.

I had forgotten my power,

the thoughts that co-create

with the Universal aid of intentions;

those same delicious frequencies

that magically take me here and there.

I had forgotten,

waking up with such joy,

that I skipped out of my room

while bones cracked and stretched

reminding me to slow down.

I don’t care.  This is the meaning of living.

This is the ebb of sorrow and joy

taking it all and pasting it back together

without giving up. 

It’s easier to give in,

give out, and forget.  No more!

I have been sleeping in such darkness

for too long and allowing no one

to turn on the light.

Clarity arrives with rest and prayer. 

I hear the ringing of truth in one ear.

I see the element of surprise ahead.

I taste the juices of excitement.

I smell the sweetness of success

for all that I have put out into the openness.

I’ve returned.

I am home in me again.

It’s been a long time…too long.

The heart echoes softly, “Welcome back!”

I love you…Millie