Live Fully

I was afraid. A lot. Like, I lived through constant fears of something happening to my children, me dying, losing everything and living at the mercy of others…I was afraid. I was afraid of criticism and hateful judgments. But, when you looked at me you would never know this. You would never know the anxiety I embraced on a daily basis. I would have everything perfect because, God forbid, I had an accident and someone came into my house and saw cushions misplaced on the sofa, or a dirty ring in the bathtub from soap, or one dish in the sink. I was afraid of not being seen as if I had it all together. I needed to do it all and never ask for help.

That’s some craziness right there! The energy I utilized to keep a house in order, take care of six kids, pets, a business, and myself was astronomically stressful to my soul. So guess what happened?

I lost everything. I died. I had children who needed constant care. I had to allow others to help me. I was granted all the things I feared. I gathered them up within several years and tasted them fully. I drank the sorrows and losses. I took them all in. I learned from it all.

I survived. Because that’s what you do when the worst arrives. You rise above it all.

Life is meant to be lived fully, not feared. It is meant to be savored, not wasted. It is meant to be enjoyed, not dreaded. Life is a precious gift.

Stop wasting it on the dirty dishes, the unmade beds, the extra dust bunnies under the sofa…. those things can be tended to when the important parts are done. When the laughter has been addressed. When the fun has been tucked in at night. When the love has been embraced. When all else has been lived. Your job on this earth is to squeeze the yummilicious moments.

STOP wasting them on insignificant shit. It’s not yours to fix. Your purpose here is of a higher calling. When you start allowing, instead of fearing, all else aligns to your frequency. Love becomes the end result to so much. And with love there is no fear. Love is trusting.

GO LIVE and LAUGH! Have a great weekend.

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Waking Up to Truth

Live with full abandonment…

Somehow we get so focused on the end. We forget that every second is a new beginning. We try to control our lives and others fearing the moment we are to die. I am not afraid of dying. I am afraid of not living fully. I am frightened of not sucking the joy out of this journey because of a bad day or situation. I am terribly mortified by the thought of taking another day for granted because of obstacles. I want to live. I want to live like I haven’t wanted to live before. I want to meet like-minded people with laughter and intelligence. I want to hear their stories. I crave to touch and love and dive into their journey. I want to enjoy this incarnation with truth and purpose.

We connect this way. So…NO…I am not afraid of physical death. I am, however, consciously aware that I forget to live every second to the fullest. I forget to breathe and let go at times. I allow my humanness to take over and I get angry for a moment. This passes. And, when it does I recall the yumminess of breathing and traveling this life while my soul is giving my humanness a giant high five. What a gift! What a magnificent ride!

We entertain anxiety because of fear. We fear because of not being able to control. We control because we have been taught that we have a say. We have a say because we are programmed to believe that the ego can actually fix things. In the end it’s all a lie. We can’t control anything. The illusion of life is based on internal experiences of the outer world. Our perceptions guide us and in moments make us very ill. We have no say or control except on how we choose to live our realities. All we can do is travel with our heads up, love, laugh and truly learn to live. We are not merely existing. We are surviving all that is thrown our way and we should be spiritually evolving because of everything that we experience on the path of life.

Do yourself a favor and stop the insanity of control. Stop putting off living for when you retire, or have money, or whatever. Use the fancy dishes. Wear the clothes you want. Use your smiles and your hands to touch others. Buy memories instead of things…and for heaven’s sake, love fully with complete abandonment Especially for yourself. ~m.a.p.

The Edge of Madness

Yeah, you know the place well but you don’t have a name. It’s when You know that something is coming and it’s shifting but you can’t truly figure out what it looks like. It’s that place between certainty and the unknown. At times it is frustrating. It is nerve-wrecking because, as adults, we have been conditioned to be responsible with our choices. These are the opportunities that arise when we walk through intuition and not fear. These are the moments that show up when we have done everything we needed to accomplish for the highest evolution of the soul. But, now what? Yeah…that’s the magical question.

I’ve come to realize that I have to ask myself a few questions when this happens now and sit with pen and paper: (1) Where exactly is this Edge of Madness at? (2) What does the terrain look like when I stand firm on the ledge? (3) How am I feeling when I step back just a bit to observe where it’s taking me? and finally (4) Am I ready to fly off this cliff into my authentic life that will be joyous while trusting every cell of me to know that I am gonna be great? There is purpose in every answer.

That’s the thing about working towards a goal…it ends and we stand asking, “Now what? I don’t see the dot on the horizon and I thought I knew where I would be by now. Where do I go from here?” Make a new goal of not really planning anything for a bit. Let serendipity guide you through your inner GPS system. Let faith be the guiding light. Okay, maybe this is too woo-woo for some…but the alternative is obsessing and creating a sense of anxiety and fear. When you move through fear you lower your vibrations, therefore stopping the flow of all manifestations. Let it go and allow the Divine to guide you for a few days. You don’t have to figure things out RIGHT NOW. You can rest, play, create, journal, hike, or do whatever you need to do to release the unknown. You have just finished an incredible accomplishment. Here you are…take time to step back and watch the magic unfold. It’s time to breathe! ~m.a.p.

Trusting the Process

Fear paralyzes us. It holds us captive and imprisons everything we know to be true. I read somewhere that without fear there is no courage. But when you are stricken by panic and despair it’s really difficult to see bravery.

The woman I am today has no clue how I lived in fear for so long. I just don’t know why I didn’t move forward and abandoned all the things that kept me hostage. I didn’t know better. I didn’t know how. I felt the aches and pains of loneliness and responsibilities. Shame and guilt lived simultaneously drowning me. I couldn’t breathe. And one day softly within I heard the words, “Fear not! Fear is Forgiving Everything, Acknowledging Release.”

I am who I am because of each story inside of me. Each single event led me here. I have courage, tenacity, perseverance, and a forgiving heart. Just like that I have learned to release. And, just like that I will continue to move forward.

Freedom is on the other side of thoughts. You cannot live in fear and truly trust. Fear is doubting the process. It has no trust. I have learned to shift my perception and thoughts. All the time. Every day. Some days it requires all of me to be present with deep breaths and trust the path.

May you always find the spark of courage that turns your darkness into sunlight. You are never alone in your struggles even when your Ego tells you otherwise. I believe the Divine speaks to us through sweet whispers if we are willing to listen with an open heart. Forgive and release all! It’s never worth the weight of carrying around on your shoulders something that serves of no purpose but to belittle you even more. Every single experience has brought you here to evolve. Trust and let go.

Let’s Tackle Fear

It’s easy to move into fear when things begin to crumble. It’s not just the crumbling of thoughts but the unknowns: finances, health issues, losses, and so much more. Fear is false evidence appearing real.

I cannot live in fear. I don’t even entertain it.

I hear the messages from divinity during meditation and contemplation. I am to remain calm and keep faith even when my humanness feels anxiety. My own Yoda whispers in my subconscious. (My Yoda/spirit guide is a badass sarcastic know-it-all who has been with me since I came into this incarnation. And I completely trust him).

I continue to flow and let go even when things around me seem to stop flowing. Perspective is the magic wand to shifting how we view life. These are faithful moments. The universe will always utilize whatever circumstance there is to expand and force us to grow. Hard times strengthen our skills. We are made anew sailing safely through the rough and rocky waters.

Spirituality and this human thingy is a marriage of existence. My job is not to be sucked into the drama of this illusion called life that we think we can control. We’ve been programmed to suck it up, deal with it all in panic mode that creates even deeper inconsistencies and problems. The reality is that we are co-creators. We get to decide how the stories start and end from a higher consciousness.

There are constant beautiful reminders of how I can alter and restart certain areas of my life every time issues comes up. I step back and usually dive into the unknown in meditation. I travel to the alternate possibilities. And then I am again reminded to just let go. That’s it!

We accept what comes our way even when it’s dark. But, we always have choices. We can stay in light or move into darkness when things become difficult.

It is during those times I remind myself that my light cannot diminish. My light will always glow through all that’s ahead.

Yesterday I watched a documentary about consciousness and the narrator said the “You are the U in universe!” You can’t get any better than that.

May you always find the light in you leading the way through whatever darkness appears before you. Every lesson forces us to get stronger. Every obstacle is an opportunity to be kinder with others and yourself.

Remember that this is all an illusion. Reach out to others for help. Vulnerability is strength. It’s courageous. And so are you.

I love you!

Moving From Fear to Love

In spite of what you hear: natural disasters, political mumbo-jumbo, war news, human cruelty, and the million other subjects (not negating they are all important) there is still a huge Omnipotence Presence around us. There are miracles happening every day. New lives are coming in. Others are finally releasing, transitioning, and returning to peace. And while illnesses, losses and heartaches are part of our human existence, there is so much goodness as well. We have been taught to look for the drama…because that is what sustains us. We have stopped looking sideways to neighbors, forward to those waiting for love. But, we have no problem obsessing about the past. We have zero issues with trying to change what has already been done. How can we learn to move forward if we are constantly focusing on what has happened? I get it. Completely. I have had several moments of that recently. It’s okay to examine the life that has appeared before. What’s not okay is to regret and resent the decisions that have brought you here.

I have a client who is a sweet elderly man. He whistles all day long. When I go visit him that’s my cue that he’s feeling fine. His dementia is extremely advanced. He knows that he knows me but cannot pin point it and so we just sit in silence for a bit. Some days I am a fellow mechanic. Other days I am his niece. At other times I am his secretary. Last week, in a visit, he said I was the most beautiful woman he had seen in a long time. He was a gentleman about the comment. He grabbed my hand and told me that he had been a really bad human being. I was surprised. This is never a subject we discuss, because he was an alcoholic and had spent some time in jail in his younger years. But, the man I visit is not a shadow of who he was back then. He doesn’t sit there and contemplate that. He just whistles. But, last week he did. He shared a few intimate details about his wife at the time. He said, “I could have been better. I could have been so much kinder. I just didn’t know how. So I did what I did without knowing I had the choice to be a better man.”

I held his hands. I felt God moving through us in that cold hall. His blue eyes shared a depth I hadn’t seen in the few years I have visited with him. Would I have judged the man he was before? Probably. I also didn’t know better years ago. I would truly have seen a disturbed soul. When you are willing to be vulnerable in receiving the gifts of grace, the world begins to introduce people who teach you. It’s remarkably beautiful how the instructions begin to unfold. I marvel at those moments when I think of one thing and it turns out to be a huge divine surprise in guidance. This man has been one of my most beautiful lessons in my job. He was the first client I acquired and has continued to show me that inside of us there are always choices. Even through cognitive impairment he still continues to show me that the face of judgment is a choice we make every single day.

Look around! Get outside of your story. You are who you are because of the decisions and choices that have molded you thus far. Stop the drama for a bit. There is a tremendous spiritual shift happening when we remove the ego out of the equation. Watch the world around you. You do not have to partake in every single news segment or dramatized event that shows up in your television, family or social feeder. Pay attention to the underlining issue of humanity through your senses. Listen to the silence. Learn to distinguish what is real and what is mass manipulation causing fear. We are controlled either through love or fear. The choice in your reality is based on how you act and react to those two.

Give with your heart by allowing to receive with openness. I am grateful for your experiences that mirror mine and make me feel alive with joy and love. Every single person is an opportunity to enter a classroom. Use those moments to find God teaching you valuable lessons.

You are worth it


I am always fascinated and intrigued at how we stop ourselves from succeeding. We expect failure. That’s easy to accept. Even before we start we have already made a hundred excuses. It is really scary to follow a dream and stick with it, watching the magic of manifesting without control. 
We’ve been programmed to believe that the impossible cannot be attained. Nothing is impossible. You are possible. You have created a million scenarios and events in your life while believing and holding faith. 

You create the choices and perception. A simple shift makes all difference. 

Get out of your own way. 

You got this. 

Believe in the magic of your divine wisdom.