Sweet Love Story

Some love stories are heartbreaking. Others not so much.

Today is two years this baby boy has been in the foster care system. On Valentine’s Day of 2018 he was placed in a caring and loving foster care home. It would take another two months for us to find out where he was.

On the day my husband and I were flying to Peru the GAL in Florida contacted us. She sent pictures of him. He had just turned one a few days before. My husband and I created a new journey with him in our hearts. We were heartbroken and elated simultaneously.

When Luke was born I begged social services in Florida to not let my daughter take him home. She had already lost her first born whom we adopted. But they did nothing. Month after month I would call. They had my number but she kept moving to different counties and that was never followed up.

It’s easy to screw with the system. There is no national registry to inform different counties or states of prior child abuse.

I would text with my daughter asking how she was and how he was. Everything was “always fine.” Even on that Valentine’s Day I sent her a message since she wouldn’t speak to me on the phone.

A month later my deceased father came in a dream and told me that this baby boy was in foster care. I texted my daughter at 5am that day and asked when he was removed. She didn’t know how I knew. She told me he had been removed on Valentine’s. She was now pregnant with her third child.

And after we were finally in contact with Florida it would take another six months to get him into our care even though I am his grandmother and only next of kin.

This little boy was afraid of men. He was malnourished and had stomach issues. The foster family were angels with him. He couldn’t crawl or hold himself up. And today he doesn’t stop running. Today he is the funniest itty bitty comedian who adores everyone, especially my husband (his daddy).

My daughter (his mother) arrived into my life at the age of 9 from a horrible orphanage in Romania. She’s not a monster. She’s the victim of a broken system there. And all four of her children are victims of the system here that requires strong willed folks to fight it.

These are the love stories that are hard to share. These are the parts of humanity that we don’t often want to explore. And it’s okay because one day the system won’t be set up to protect the adult. It will be set up for the protection of the child who has parents that really cannot be parents no matter how many classes or therapy or whatever they finish within the time given to reunify with their kids. Some folks, due to mental disabilities or addiction or other circumstances, will never be able to care for their children. Yet, the law is set up to give them a chance and hope that will never happen.

How do we change it? It starts with creating new laws about the children. How does this happen? Legislators and an array of political obstacles. Where does the money come from? Same place money appears for wars and catastrophic issues. Because this is a catastrophic issue in this country.

He is our future. 650,000 children in the system, yearly, are our futures. I refuse to have them fail or be victims of a broken system. They deserve better. We all deserve the very best.

Two years today he’s been in foster care and there is still zero resolution or an idea of when we will be able to legally adopt him.

His second sister and baby brother are also in care of the state. Both being cared by loving folks.

Love stories also have happy endings. Luke has one. And so many others because of folks who are determined to care for children who have been deeply neglected. There are so many angelic souls opening their hearts and homes to children. And many want to adopt them….

Happy Valentine’s Day, darlings. This little dude is one of my favorite gifts today.

Walking Children into Safety

In 2018 there were approximately 687,000 children in foster care.

Out of that amount 63,000 were adopted that year.

52% were male. 48% were female.

About 30% of the children in foster care have severe emotional, behavioral and developmental issues. This number is rising with lack of services for each individual.

There are over 329 million people living in the United States. So when you see that number it seems like a small amount of foster children. It becomes an after thought…someone else’s problem. What can we do that hasn’t already been done, right?!

Many children go back to their parents or primary caretakers – (56% of them). Others get lost in the system. Some grow out of the foster care since they become of legal age (and many fall into the cycle of their parents because they have owned the stigma of foster children). There is a large demographic of blacks, biracial, Latinos, and other minorities.

I don’t do charts well. My brain is not very analytical. I feel. That’s what I do. So when I see the staggering numbers of this reality I cringe. It stops me. My heart breaks open. I have lived it with my own children and the fractured system. Not just in this country but a third world country.

How can we fix the system? There is a drug epidemic. There is a rise in abuse. There are economic issues and social problems thrown in there as well. There is a lack of awareness of what happens to many of these kids who slip through the cracks in many states. The courts and social care systems are depleted. There is not enough man power or money to help these children, the parents, and the foster caretakers. There is just no consistency from one state to another…therefore, children are often not able to get the best care.

The system is set up to reunify the children with their parents. In many cases this becomes a cycle of psychological welfare for the children. They get taken out of their homes, put into a stranger’s house, and then return to parents who really cannot properly parent their children. And a small percentage die in the hands of parents who get them back.

It’s staggering. Overwhelming. Inexcusable. These are the future adults of this nation.

Let’s start with the basics.

I would like to know if anyone here knows of folks who help start non-profits. I have several ideas of how to start small into changing the system. Please message me. It’s time! Dharma.1111@hotmail.com

Your Purpose is your GPS

For a few months my husband and I were prepared for a huge change. We had decided to take another child, my sweet babies’ little sister. Unless a miracle happened and she was able to stay with her foster family (she’s been there since she was born and she’s 15 months old) we would fight to make sure she would come with us.

The energy was in motion. No regrets. No hesitations. We knew what was right. We also felt miracles happening. What seemed to be an impossible situation would be cleared up.

I didn’t share publicly. I did not want to hear one single person judge me on “not another kid, Millie!” Or anything else. I needed to send the vibes to the broken system of Florida foster care and the courts. I needed all my energy to fight for what is the best possible outcome for our granddaughter. So I did. We did. My husband and I talked about it daily. We made changes in our lives and home. We began to prepare for whatever we needed to do. And we did. Every day came closer to vibrational alignment.

Yesterday we heard that the agency will allow for the foster family to keep her just as she’s been. It was a miracle indeed. It has been an ongoing battle that has made many of us truly uncomfortable (to be left in the hands of a privatized company that doesn’t see the welfare of the child but dollar signs). There was a possibility she would be going into an unsafe environment. We still have to go to court in a few weeks but that decision was a tremendous relief, not because we didn’t want her here, but because

she has a family she’s loved since the day she was taken from my daughter.

I share this because the moment you release and surrender to the divine is the moment the universe begins to align with your energy.

You don’t have to share publicly as you struggle. You don’t have to fight naysayers. You just stick with your faith and send the energy out for the best possible outcome.

I know folks will always want the best for you. Some don’t understand your choices. Some will challenge your beliefs. Some will expect you to change your mind. Some will make you feel as if you are insane. But, darling, you DO YOU. You do what you need to do for you and your family.

And, let me share something that is magical…I have come to the acceptance that I have to fight for other children. I recognize now that I’ve been fighting for children’s rights since I was in my 20’s. It hasn’t been only through taking them into my home. It’s been through standing up for a system in our society that is fractured and deeply wounded. I will continue to do so however that shows up.

Our spirituality is a personal fit and wear. I teach and learn through those who have little voices. And I will continue to take in whoever needs it whether in my home or just fighting to keep them safe. I am not asking permission. I am stating a fact instead of having to duck my head down not to cause discomfort around me. Judgment is always available!

Now you…get out there and recognize your truth and your purpose. It might feel like a small defeat or it might be a huge fight. Surrender to the mysticism of what you believe that you are guided at all times.

Blessings. Be guided by the higher powers. I love you.

Let the Voices be Heard

Tonight I have felt my heart break open in a way that pushes me to feel beyond my humanness. The “feel” part has me unraveling and desperate and enraged. Nothing gets my blood pumping faster than human right issues.

I’m a mother. I’m a grandmother. I’m a GRAND mother. The greatness of being a mother is one of my extraordinary purposes here on earth. I have mothered my own children, other people’s children and many adults. I take mothering seriously because we are here to nurture one another. We are here to connect in the deepest level of humanity. That’s what a mother does. She makes sure her children are safe and loved. She will honor her children by being their voice until they can learn to use their own.

I have a little boy in Florida waiting to get through the bureaucracy of a broken system. I’m his voice. He has a daddy here also making sure nothing gets in his way. He has two loving parents waiting to align with him and a big sister praying he gets here soon.

But, he’s truly lucky. He has us. He has an amazing foster family watching him like guardian angels. However, he’s also part of a privatized system that makes money by keeping him in the system. The longer he stays in that system the more money is being made.

I am appalled by what I am witnessing in Florida. I am appalled by what I am witnessing in Texas. I am outraged that in this time of history this is going on right in our backyards.

Change has to happen. It’s not my kid or the children in prison. It’s all our children. It’s the future of the next generations. Our little boy has us to fight for him. We need to fight for the 2,000 in Texas who have family hurting to get back to them. We need to fight for the 400,000 currently in foster care in the United States who need love and safe homes.

My voice is small. Yours might feel small as well. But when you gather millions of voices together we can be heard. When we create enough noise and don’t stop we can make changes. We must make those voices kind and loving. We cannot fight through hate and anger. We cannot beat things by name calling or bashing or disrespect. No!!! That’s not how we transcend here with this. We do it organized. We start uncovering the small issues and work our way up the corruption. Lots of folks have hands in the privatized sectors…and it’s been happening for decades.

I’m composing myself. I’ve cried a lot. I continue to mourn the separation of those kids from their parents who came here to find a better life. What they have witnessed is inhumane acts that go above and beyond religion and politics. I cannot begin to imagine how these families are navigating all of it.

Darlings, this is not an immigration problem. It’s a human right issue. The same with privatizing agencies who determine who can go to families in the foster care system and who can be adopted. It’s a human issue that needs changing. It’s a compassionate and loving opportunity to make the future generation learn what it is to come together for their sake. We get to mother thousands through these examples.

Tonight I will continue to gather pieces of me to continue fighting. There is nothing more powerful than a mother going after her children. And those thousands out there have become my babies. This mama isn’t going to just let this go….