The Gathering of Souls

A few years ago I made a promise to myself that I would only allow those individuals who contributed to the best of my life. I was done with all the crap of people who were emotional vampires. I wanted a community, a family of friends, who were there for me regardless of the weather (in good and bad times). I wanted people who allowed me to be me without judgment and likewise I would relish in their uniqueness. The Divine provided much more than I had intended because I have wonderful people in my life.

When we realize the old patterns in our life, the way we choose situations, and accept (with full blown responsibility) that we attract those people who hurt us because we participated in the drama, then the Universe moves on to what the heart truly needs. I’ve changed and with those modifications I have allowed like-minded people to enter my circle. These are giving individuals who truly care about friendship. I am blessed. And I don’t take it for granted.

If you have people in your life (whether it be a mate or friends) who don’t bring out the best in you, take a look at your behavior. Take note of your actions, how you treat others, and seriously decide if they are projecting your individuality. The root of criticism in others is usually the reflection in ourselves. We attract that which we put out. You don’t want drama, look to see if your life is a one-stage act after another full of chaos. You don’t want selfishness then see if you are reflecting things that are being only about you. You don’t want craziness, well then I suggest you start to define what normal is for you! You get to manifest the things and people in your life. You get to create what stays and what needs to go.

Life is marvelous. It is too short to allow others to dictate misery in your life. Fill those special moments in your life surrounded by things and people that matter. Setting boundaries is hard, at least for me. Those vampires from my past disappeared as soon as I decided that I was worth loving in a manner that allowed the best of me to shine. These people know my laughter, sorrows, sarcasm, goofiness, bitchiness, kindness, creativity, love and the things that create the totality of me. They are there when I need a shoulder to cry on and a wine glass when I need to unload my craziness.

We’ve lost the sense of unity and community in our lives. Society has become so busy that we forget to get together for a simple meal, or just a cup of coffee. I love how the Italians and the French in Europe live their lives. They work hard but they also know when to quit and gather around their loved ones to enjoy the simplicity in sharing their lives. There is an easement and therapeutic element to sitting with others while allowing laughter, tears, and expression as the only agenda.

Seek and you will find. Put yourself out there. Talk to strangers. Participate in your community. I promise you that you weren’t meant to be alone. You have the ability to design the life you dream of….so go and get it done. ~m.a.p.

The Ants Go Marching

When I was a little girl we lived in this tiny apartment in Hollywood, Florida. Four females in a one bedroom apartment. One small bathroom the size of a closet. I would spend time in the bathroom to give myself space alone.

There were these tiny ants (that my mother hated and tried everything to kill) go up and down the pink tile through the window. I would sit there and study them. They would make a straight line up and down, stopping to communicate, and keep going out the door of the bathroom. It was always the same two tiles and the same straight line.

I marveled at the stories they would whisper to each other. And if there was a crumb they would carry it to each other. They worked together as a tribe. Sometimes passing the weight on to another ant coming the opposite direction.

I would close my eyes and prayed that when I grew up I could be strong like them, resilient and committed. I dreamt of having a tribe who would let me know of danger ahead or when to let go and allow another to pick me up. I wanted friends who showed me the way without manipulating the path. I desired non judgment, competition, or jealousy. I wanted what those ants had.

As young as 11 years old I recognized the importance of a village. It took till my mid-forties to find one. I looked for the ant-like tribe for years. I admired it in others. I would create scenes of life stories while watching “Friends” or “Seinfeld.” I believed it wasn’t a myth. I would someday have what those ants had in my little imagination.

Once I stopped filtering myself I attracted the most powerful village of loving folks who wanted nothing from me but love. Once I became vulnerable they showed up. They have supported me, helped me, created with me, and allowed me to grow spiritually.

We are all trying to find our way home while believing that we are all alone. We are not. Sometimes folks come into our circle for ten years. Other times for ten days or ten hours. People are mirrors of your soul. Not everyone will stay forever. But when they do they help move mountains, carry your spirit through rocky waters, help elevate you and you are no longer alone. You become a circle with no beginning or ending just sustaining each other through it all.

Thank you to my little ants who help me get from here to there. I love you. And to all those others I am yet to meet along the path! 🐜🐜🐜

My Favorite


When my children were little I would go say goodnight to them in their rooms, give them kisses, and whisper, “You are my favorite. By far! Don’t tell your brothers and sisters cause they will be hurt. This is our little secret, so shhhhh!” I would make sure they felt that they were number one. 

Three years ago, over Christmas holidays at my home in the mountains, three of the adult children were sitting around the table. One said to the other, “You don’t know. I was always Mom’s favorite. She told me never to tell you.” The brother responded, “No way, dude! I’m her favorite. She would say it to me every night.” My daughter looked at me in the kitchen from the dining room table, almost hurt to tears, “Mom, I thought I WAS YOUR FAVORITE!” I had to come clean, of course, cause they are all my favorites.  

As a parent you want to make sure they all have that one special KNOWING that they are seen, heard, loved and acknowledged. Some of these children suffered from severe mental disorders. They needed that extra oomph to believe in the magic of love. Now, with our 3-1/2 year old, I catch myself again whispering at night in her ear, “Kali bug, you are my favorite! By far, you are my all time favorite.” She laughs and whispers back, “you my favorite. You my best friend.” And then she goes to whisper it to her daddy. 

Here is the thing I know about love. You have to let those you love know it, feel it, and understand that the essence of your spirit shouts for them. Whether it is your spouse, mate, mother, father, children, or friend. It’s important to let them feel that they are in your life and you wholeheartedly love them. I know I say the words “I love you” a lot…to everyone. But when I say them, I mean them. I don’t always say them to people. Sometimes I just say “I appreciate you.” This is almost acknowledging to myself that they haven’t graduated to that level yet. Some people take time to get into the heart…but eventually they all get in. Love is free ranged. It is birth from forgiveness, acceptance, awareness, all tied to the thread of Oneness.

So to you, yes you! If you are my friend here, I can say, “I love you. You ARE my favorite!” Have a great day. Go love something, someone, and most importantly, yourself. You are the essence of love.

Core Essence

This morning’s goodbye

tugged and pulled

like never before

as I tattooed a kiss

on your neck

inhaling your smell

while your eyes searched,

smiling,

reaching,

that place of home

no one else has before.

Twenty-five years of this

is wearing us down

to break the restrictions

we created for safety:

the not-falling-in-love clause;

the no-questions-asked rule;

the only-a-few-days-at-a-time mantra;

the take-in-for-what-it-is precious moments.

This week was different

and you asked;

I replied.

You went there;

I returned holding your hand.

I expect nothing;

you anticipate even less.

But,

somewhere in the in-between

the words

“I will miss you”

echoed from both our lips

and that’s

worth a priceless fortune

to the essence of

our soul union

in this new era….

Life gets easier

I am still coming down from a tremendous high from the past weekend. Sitting with friends, sharing, laughing, and lifting each other up…what a treat. There is something magical about gatherings. We get real. We become more of what we hide during the hours that society demands life responsibility. We reach a level of awareness, feeding the soul in the most outstanding ways, and then setting it free to roam in the darkness while chasing critters and fairies.life-gets-easier

Life Happening Here

holding hands

Be soft with your spirit. Be gentle with your essence. BE authentic to your purpose and calling. Rid yourself from the negative self-talk. You become everything you say that you are or that you are not. We are born every day, every minute, every second. We are here on borrowed time. Make it lovingly serene with your heart so that you can present your soul lovingly to another. This struggle is all bullshit at the end of the day. It doesn’t matter what you did or haven’t done. This moment, wasted reading this, or contemplating what hasn’t been scratched off your To Do List, is all irrelevant. Really…this is nonsense. Me writing this is nonsense as well.

Yesterday I sat in a waiting room for just a little while holding a friend in space as her dad was having major surgery.  I wouldn’t have been any other place but right there with her in those moments.  This woman is a strong soul. Even strong souls need someone to lean on when moving through hard times.  The doctor did not provide hopeful news.  I drove home feeling an ache that surprised me.  Tears came up and out as I hit the interstate. My heart was opened so widely for her and her father that I had to pull to the side median to release the uncontrollable sorrow. I had spoken to him a few days before surgery and I knew he didn’t want to go through it.  His gut was speaking. Our time here is so fragile.  It’s daunting that these moments become everything as the superficial crap starts to fall away in the distance.   As I composed myself to keep driving I said a prayer and surrendered to the unknown.  This was not about me…but with compassion it was moving through me. I love these two souls dearly.

There are folks losing their jobs, their homes, and families.  There are others sitting alone in a hospital room watching a loved one fight for their lives. While some others are in the petty claws of political and religious arguments on social media….life is happening out there.  Life is happening in here.  Life is a series of ongoing movements and motions reminding us that we get to pick the perception and reaction. I don’t know why bad things happen.  I don’t know why anything happens.  I would like to believe it’s for the evolution of our higher self. I would like to believe it’s part of a larger design.  Who truly knows at this point?  I have to be led by faith and that onset programming of a higher body of spirit guiding me.

What I do know is that we need one another. We need a tribe. We need love.  We need to know that we aren’t alone in the path of obstacles and challenges. We need to get out of our own head space and truly feel the vibration of another who is part of the overall conscious mass.

Hold a friend’s hand in need. Hug your lover as if it was the last time. Kiss those kids tightly. Smile at a stranger. Open doors for an elderly person. Compliment a cashier. Delete the toxic folks out of your life. If they don’t raise you then they have taught you something. It’s time to move on. Use your energy wisely. My God, just get out of your head and lovingly give to another who needs to feel that the illusion of loneliness is not drowning their existence. It matters. It all matters to that one human who is struggling with life. Stop the craziness of self doubt and anxiety because there is no way you leave this life alive. So…live for yourself with honor, love, and compassion. You don’t own this blue planet alone. I am here. You are here. Let’s be here together in peace and harmony. We got this!

It starts in your backyard

end of our lives

Whenever we stop thinking in a grandiose way the world will begin to shift. Conscious choices require work outside of our reach.  I have heard so many folks stating that they wish they could make a difference in the world: feeding the hungry in Africa, saving humanity elsewhere, etc. But, nothing gets done in their backyards. There’s much to be done here. A smile at a check-out aisle, a sweet word to a stranger, a coffee for a veteran, a muffin gifted to a homeless person…. Rather than think BIG and allow EGO to create a dramatic entrance, why don’t we just start small? Send a card to a friend letting him/her know that they are a gift in your life. Text someone out of the blues with a sweet message and laughter. Leave a bag of sweetness or a candle on a neighbor’s door. You never know how much that person might need that acknowledgment on that day.  Follow that tug, pull and push from within that exudes compassion for humanity.

Life begins and ends in our circle of gratitude. Yes, it’s wonderful to think of helping humanity out there, but there’s much that can be done right here. Leave a ten dollar gift certificate on a door of a single mother who is struggling to make ends meet. We all matter! We all can make a difference when we shift our perception to here and now. Let’s remove the grandiose attitude. Sit with a stranger. Share stories, break bread, share a gentle touch, and allow the world to change you while making a difference here. We all just want to be appreciated and loved. Focus on your backyard! There’s much work to be done. We can’t all be superstars.  We matter in each others’ lives.  Start living life outside of your comfort zone and watch how the magic appears. The AHA moments will blow you away. I love you…have a great day!