Pause

Stop for a moment. Take a breather. Pause. Exhale.

At this moment there is a giant fork on the road. Your life was going one way and now… well, now there are unknowns. Millions have lost their jobs. Others have no idea what they will be doing when this is over.

But this is ongoing. Over is not an expectancy. The only thing you have at this time is this day. Life is forever changing out there. And it is also shifting inside of us.

I had pretty much set goals for this year. I was going to write and start my own non-profit humanitarian company advocating for children while also doing intuitive consultations. This year began on one path and then the Pause came. I have two little ones at home so my time is dedicated to them. Some evenings I hold sessions over video chats. Most days I end up in my yard when they go to bed exhaling from the demands of my day. My current job is to love them and make them feel safe.

At first I planned on doing so much with whatever time I was gifted. But my inspirations didn’t arrive. Let’s be honest many of us thought that if we had a month off we would do so much at home. We would get projects done, write the novel, paint, learn new trades….

The state of the world has felt heavy and sometimes just getting out of my pajamas into yoga pants is daunting. I cut my hair so I have one less thing to do cause brushing it or putting it in a ponytail was extra work. I do make my bed daily to feel as if I have accomplished something. It’s in the small details.

I don’t have to know what I will be doing next month. I am not stressing about what will arrive. I try not to over analyze about our finances. I won’t beat myself up for not doing all I had in my imaginary list. I will sit here and pause. I will know when it’s time to proceed with whatever I am to do. I will know which path I need to take.

We live in a society that has been programmed to keep busy. We must know what is coming without smelling the roses or enjoying the moment. We want to feel productive. We want to know we matter by how much we have acquired. We feed our egos with labels and titles. God forbid we take time to heal ourselves from a lifetime of abuse by just allowing things to come up and out.

Darlings, at the end of the day those things that we claim are important don’t matter. Health, family, service to those around you, and connections are the directions on your love compass that matter.

Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself a break. Take this Pause as a gift to rest. You don’t have to know what needs doing or how to do it right now. We are all in this together. Some will go back to work. Some will have to reinvent themselves. And then there are some who will not be here for any of this. Be grateful and take your time. I love you.

What I Can Offer

I often wonder what I can offer someone in their journey. What kind of business can I create that allows another soul something special from me? There are thousands of healers. Millions of them trying to help others, many getting paid for their uniqueness.

What can I offer you that you cannot get somewhere else?

This is where we get stuck! The labels of worth. The doubts of what we are with a price. It’s always tricky.

What makes me any better than all those amazing coaches and intuitive out there? What is my calling or niche or specialty?

It’s rawness. It’s openness. It’s vulnerability. It’s knowing that I am not judging you because of your humanness.

Lately these are the questions that arise in my meditation practice. These are the thoughts I am putting out into the higher realms. I get the sweet answer within my chest vibrating with a giddy knowing. It’s lovely to feel and yet no definite answer except, “Trust in yourself!”

I can offer love. And so can others. I can sit and hear your story. Many can do the same. I can hold space for your trauma and pain. I know so many who are amazing at it too.

So what separates me from anyone? I can hear your story and help you rewrite parts that you are too close to notice. I can show you how old beliefs no longer help with creating new chapters. I can tend to your words and provide sacredness. I can hold your heart in a way that you start to recognize the love you have been gifted in this world. You begin to remember what you’ve forgotten.

I feel it. I am holding on to a thousand stories that are similar to yours. And this I know I can do. I can help you map out your goals and show you how you hold the compass to your future. You have the answers. I will be there to help you navigate.

I’m working with a fabulous woman who is helping me set up a professional website and move through the unknowns. I ask that you stay tune and I will be here waiting on whatever shows up… I will be here to help you in whatever way that may be.

Until then… I love you. I love you with the love you deeply deserve. We will work together. Soon.

~m.a.p.

Follow Your Dreams

For as long as I can remember I have ached to live and travel to all corners of the world. I have yearned to hear stories told and shared from everywhere. I’ve wanted to touch and inhale the essence of humanity, the borders of humanness. I’ve wanted to study empathy and compassion and what moves us to be who we are. I’ve been fascinated by spiritual and philosophical issues.

Reality has stopped me. I have had many lives in five decades. I have lived splendidly in ways that could fill several lifetimes. However, the edge of civilization is still waiting. It is luring me strongly. The gypsy in me has been held captive for most of my life. And this is alright! No shame in living a magical life full of lessons and experiences because that has brought about my authentic evolution. But, as of late, something has occurred: the calling has now become a scream. There are no whispers nudging at me to go out and reach the world. It’s more like speakers in constant noise screaming full blast, “It’s time now! Do something, woman!”

How does one follow these voices and nudges that bring us to the edge of the unknown? Responsibilities come first. I have a four year old and a one year old arriving soon. I have a husband. I try to shut it off. I have done everything to stay within this world of responsibility with no regrets because I truly love this life. Yet, nothing stops the purpose that has also been yearning and pushing me to find more stories. And, they do show up through serendipitous moments. They unfold right in front of me all the time. I am always in a state of awesomeness hearing the three things the human form searches: joy, love and faith. It is still not enough right now. Maybe this is a midlife crisis. Ever since returning from Peru my soul has been deeply restless dreaming and manifesting. Perhaps this yearning is an existential one. I don’t know!

I must stand back and really take time to figure things out. I know in the core of me that I am to merge my life with the world. Even in small dosages. I am on the edge of answers. I feel them knocking in meditation. I see them evolving in dreams. Signs are all over the place and guidance is slowly showing me. I need to sketch the details, ironing out financial responsibilities against the dreams and trusting I am always being supported for me and my family.

Don’t you feel the massive changes happening as well? Don’t you feel the bursting out and metamorphosis? It’s powerful.

I am slowly figuring out how to move through this point. I don’t know how or why this is happening now. It happened several years ago as well and my life changed drastically. I do know that something is about to explode, expand, and take off from me in order to reach my soul’s yearning. It’s been slowly building up and I am paying close attention. I am no longer able to stop this excitement or craving. I am setting the Muses free without restricting myself. I always feel that when we truly sit with the feelings, rather than avoid them, we create. We must iron out the doubts and fears. Write out everything so we can see it all…and then wait for the magic to take form.

I see it. I feel it. I can taste it. I am honoring it. I might not know how it will all come together but I am holding on to the feeling of it excitement.

The Edge of Madness

Yeah, you know the place well but you don’t have a name. It’s when You know that something is coming and it’s shifting but you can’t truly figure out what it looks like. It’s that place between certainty and the unknown. At times it is frustrating. It is nerve-wrecking because, as adults, we have been conditioned to be responsible with our choices. These are the opportunities that arise when we walk through intuition and not fear. These are the moments that show up when we have done everything we needed to accomplish for the highest evolution of the soul. But, now what? Yeah…that’s the magical question.

I’ve come to realize that I have to ask myself a few questions when this happens now and sit with pen and paper: (1) Where exactly is this Edge of Madness at? (2) What does the terrain look like when I stand firm on the ledge? (3) How am I feeling when I step back just a bit to observe where it’s taking me? and finally (4) Am I ready to fly off this cliff into my authentic life that will be joyous while trusting every cell of me to know that I am gonna be great? There is purpose in every answer.

That’s the thing about working towards a goal…it ends and we stand asking, “Now what? I don’t see the dot on the horizon and I thought I knew where I would be by now. Where do I go from here?” Make a new goal of not really planning anything for a bit. Let serendipity guide you through your inner GPS system. Let faith be the guiding light. Okay, maybe this is too woo-woo for some…but the alternative is obsessing and creating a sense of anxiety and fear. When you move through fear you lower your vibrations, therefore stopping the flow of all manifestations. Let it go and allow the Divine to guide you for a few days. You don’t have to figure things out RIGHT NOW. You can rest, play, create, journal, hike, or do whatever you need to do to release the unknown. You have just finished an incredible accomplishment. Here you are…take time to step back and watch the magic unfold. It’s time to breathe! ~m.a.p.

Happy New Everything

If you allow for it the world will move you every day to a place of complete openness. The hardest part is allowing the heart to stay open enough to receive the gifts. Some gifts will be painful and force you to grow for the betterment of your spiritual evolution. Others will contribute grace, adventure, and love to bring you closer into the web of humanity. Give yourself the permission this new year to experience all the wow’s and aha moments while staying in the present. They will transform you forever.

Take risks, move beyond the comfort zone, laugh more, love deeper, share your life with strangers, truly forgive, don’t forget to breathe and enjoy the ride. Do the things that make you come alive. Let go of the fears. Ask questions that force your consciousness to expand. Find a spiritual practice that grounds you and gives meaning to your existence. Step out into this world with zest. Create your resolutions if you feel they will help you. Make your vision boards for guidance. Make space in your life for more joy.

I will not be creating unrealistic goals this year. I will not be putting myself with the stress through expectations. I know how it feels to spin out of control because I cannot accomplish those tasks ASAP. I am allowing each moment to dictate what needs to be done. I am being mindful with my thoughts. No more expectations! They force Ego to dictate my mood. They also lead to extreme sense of failure and disappointments. Therefore, this new year I am just gonna surf it with a child-like sense of wonder and adventure. I will dance more under the stars, play with fairies in the creeks, ride unicorns through the woods, and allow Divinity to surprise me with magic. Let’s see where that will take me! There is yumminess in just allowing for the magic to come to me.

Feel the joy? I sure do!!!

I love you. Thank you for joining me here. I am forever grateful (and often shocked) by the kind and loving support. Together we can transform the next 365 days into the best year of our lives.

~Millie

Go For What You Believe

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Hello sweet loving souls! Stepping away sometimes creates a different energy to move into a truth that otherwise gets distorted with opinions and criticism. Usually it’s our own judgment. In order to obtain your goals you must step away from judgment. No other way around it. We get what we create: drama, weight, health issues, money, and whatever thought you are obsessing on. The surest way to get really sick is holding on to resentments. Let that shit go! Someone hurt you…yes, see all the sides of the story. Someone criticized you…yes, you can see how hurt they are in their own stories while pointing the finger at you. Own your part in everything. Take full responsibility in the saga. Realize that it’s all a matter of perception. Also recognize how pivotal those lessons are for the evolution of your soul.

You have a goal, dammit go for it! Even when your ego is bitchy and negative. Because guess what? You create through your vibe. What you put forth with high vibration and frequencies is what makes the heart fill up with joy and becomes yours. The only obstacle in your way is YOU and how you perceive your choices. Are you worth it? Do you deserve this? Do you really want it? Get pen and paper and write the things you desire. Thank the Universe, God, the great mysteries for it all. Be grateful for them already being in your life even if you find it impossible. Do not try and control the outcome. Just BE! I promise that you will get that or better. Have a blessed day. Go create a life full of magic and mysticism.