Our Infinite Connection

You are one freaking miracle consisting of millions of cells that exploded to create a universe in you. You are a world alone bumping and connecting with other worlds. Not for one moment think that your world is insignificant. You have been programmed to believe that you are small but you’re huge. You are infinite. You will continue to live even after you are no longer in this incarnation.

And guess what you are here to do?

You are here to love and learn and love some more. You are here to experience all aspects of humanness. This is not a test. It’s not suppose to be a gigantic struggle. You are suppose to rise and help create for others.

Every single event, challenge and obstacle is here to expand your consciousness. You are here to touch hearts and teach what compassion is. You get to do that through your examples and power. Do not give your power to another. Do not hand your magic to anyone. It’s yours! You hold on to it and make this world a better place. We are now remembering why we came. And it’s all about love, connections, forgiveness, expansion and grace. I love you.

What We Leave Behind

Tranquility

I used to think that it was important to leave something behind in life as a legacy for others to acknowledge my existence. For most of my life I kept journals, poetry books, albums and all sorts of pasted memory books documenting my journey here. Several years ago I stopped. I was losing myself in trying to leave a life behind while not being presently available now. I was tired of leaving a token of my existence for others to find. I decided I was going to touch more, love harder, and be present with those in my life.

What better legacy but time?

We are always trying to leave footprints behind for others to find. Sometime ago during a visit from one of my sons we were sitting around discussing legacies. He asked me what I would like to leave behind as a remembrance of my life.

I said, “My laughter. I want people to think of me and think that I was fun. I want to believe that I touched someone through my sense of humor.”

His eyes watered with that simple answer. He was expecting me to say something of greatness or about love. But, I believe that joy is the catalyst to other emotions. Joy and laughter open up love, empathy, compassion, and kindness.

What carries on after death?

The lessons, mistakes, triumphs, and achievements are not so much of importance in the past as they will be in the future. We take for granted what must be learned rather than learn what we take for granted because of worrying about the future. It is the present moment that emphasis must be placed upon in order to correct anything else in our path.

Legacies are moments. Moments consist of time.

Death is a state of consciousness. It is one of the many stages through the infinite. I witnessed this first hand in January of 2014 when I had a near death experience. At that moment of leaving the physical body I was not a bit concerned with my legacy. I didn’t think about the things I should have done. I didn’t ponder or cry about the things I didn’t get to do. My only thought was, “Where will this light take me? There’s nothing like this. There never was.”

We are here passing through: learning, accumulating, and exercising the greatness of our existence. There is no real secret to life. Perhaps…. That’s perhaps the secret! We all want to know that we’ve mattered. We have. I have. You have. We are here in this melting pot together making our way home. Every day I am gifted favorable circumstances. I get opportunities of love (giving and receiving), forgiveness (for mistakes and misunderstandings), learning (beyond my means), dreaming (manifesting all my desires), kindness, and compassion (without them I am not human) so that my spiritual, physical and emotional bodies can evolve into greatness.

This greatness is called life. Make each moment count with joy, surrendering abandonment for the past, miracles for the future, and appreciation for being present at all times. Laugh at the silliness, forgive the hurt, love those who you never thought you could. Allow these opportunities to map out the journey. You got this! No one else can do it for you. Create the greatest story of YOU!  That’s your legacy.

“Inside of all of us there is the need and the desire to be heard, to have our innermost thoughts, feelings and desires expressed for others to hear, to see and to understand. We all want to matter to someone, to leave a mark. Writers just take those thoughts, feelings and desires and express them in such a way that the reader not only reads them but feels them as well.” ~ Vicktor Alexander

Trust in the Process

Fear paralyzes us. It holds us captive and imprisons everything we know to be true. I read somewhere that without fear there is no courage. But when you are stricken by panic and despair it’s really difficult to see bravery.

The woman I am today has no clue how I lived in fear for so long. I just don’t know why I didn’t move forward and abandoned all the things that kept me hostage.

I didn’t know better. I didn’t know how. I felt the aches and pains of loneliness and responsibilities. Shame and guilt lived simultaneously drowning me. I couldn’t breathe. And one day softly within I heard the words, “Fear not! Fear is Forgiving Everything, Acknowledging Release.”

I turned my comfortable life upside down and then right side up. My family believed I lost my mind. And guess what? I did. I had to let go of the old me in order to transform into a new one.

I am who I am because of each story inside of me. Each single event led me here. I have courage, tenacity, perseverance, and a forgiving heart. Just like that I have learned to release. And, just like that I will continue to move forward.

Freedom is on the other side of thoughts. You cannot live in fear and truly trust. Fear is doubting the process. It has no trust. I have learned to shift my perception and thoughts. All the time. Every day. Some days it requires all of me to be present with deep breaths and trust the path.

Something magical happens in this midlife point of a woman’s life. Like you can’t stand the bullsh*t anymore. You won’t tolerate the excess noise of other people’s opinions or judgment. At least this is been true for me. And I guess that’s also part of feeling courageous.

May you always find the spark of courage that turns your darkness into sunlight. You are never alone in your struggles even when your Ego tells you otherwise. I believe the Divine speaks to us through sweet whispers if we are willing to listen with an open heart. Forgive and release all! It’s never worth the weight of carrying around on your shoulders something that serves of no purpose but to belittle you even more. Every single experience has brought you here to evolve.

Trust and let go. You are divine wisdom walking around and bumping into love. All day…every single day.

Happy 2020

Growth doesn’t happen quickly. It takes time. Expansion is slow and sometimes extremely messy. Spiritual growth forces you to see the parts of yourself that are dark and unattractive.

But…

Once it starts to unravel you begin to see the new you. Once you consciously SEE it things begin to make sense.

2019 was such a year for me. I am grateful for it all.

By the time October hit I was in shambles. I was depleted. I found myself during lunch times curled up in my car overlooking the mountains by work praying the year would just swallow me whole. I was done with it and the lessons. They were metaphysical lessons. They were emotional ones. They were all about ripping me apart to examine me. And it wasn’t pretty. Ughhh it was not nice to see myself going through the dark night of the soul without a lantern.

The last time I experienced such openness was in the end of 2010 when I moved to these mountains. And now I was coming full circle recognizing the all-ness and oneness of the lessons.

So as November began I felt a sense of relief. By the time December arrived I had truly found myself with much clarity about the things I desired. I saw ME.

2019 has been an incredibly tough teacher. 2020 will be all about finally BEing the person I have dreamed off becoming.

I pick two words for the year. I had picked “release and surrender” for 2019. What did I expect?

So for 2020 I have picked “adventure and joy.”

Make your intentions clear. Write them. Don’t let another day pass you by with dreams. Chase after them. I have spent years dreaming of writing and creating. This is my year to put it all out there with humanitarian causes.

Happy New Everything to you, darlings. You are not alone on this journey even if you feel that you are. Reach out please! I love you.

Gratitude and Blessings

On this week of gratitude may we come together in Spirit. I am always searching for the stories within the stories…in strangers and friends; in family and folks we meet daily. I Search for The Divine in simplicity. I feel it in a touch, a hug, a kiss…and an intimate glance across the room. I hear it in long belly laughs. I smell it in the sweetness of the earth. I taste it on so many levels when a loved one cooks for me.

I have faith in humanity. Don’t you? Don’t you see it on a daily basis in the miracles of life? Don’t you feel it in the shift of the collective as it evolves into love?

The day will come when you won’t be looking for faith and grace outside of you. It’s happening now. You aren’t looking for God in temples and religion. You notice the Divine staring back from the reflection in the mirror. You see it smiling at you in a homeless person or a loved one taking his last breath. You find Source in your children as they laugh out loud. You feel Spirit in the kiss from your mate. You finally recognize our connections and how important it is to be kind and compassionate to everyone. Even when they don’t accept it but on a higher level they are taking it in.

You find the silence and the ability to walk away from pain or walk towards the things you desire. This is how aware you are that you have reached the loving understanding of your purpose through unconditional love. This is how you’ve found you in the vastness of Spirit.

I give thanks for you. The blessing of you walking alongside me on this journey. Thank you.

I see you. I feel you. I know the God in you. And in me. I love you.

(The photo was taken this morning as I was writing this post).

Intimacy

We are missing this. We are missing FROM this. We move through our days without physical connections while connecting to strangers in the screen. We are exhausted from our days, escaping into another world that might just get us. No matter how you slice it it is a form of intimacy. It is fulfillment for millions who fear rejection, avoidance and judgment.

But…when was the last time you spoke heart to heart with someone? Or allowed tears to fall in their presence? Or merely sat in silence holding their hands because words were too heavy to carry? How long has it been that you openly shared a heartfelt story, a wrenching shameful memory and just trusted because your soul needed it more than your ego?

The injustice we have created while living in fear of bigotry and shame separates us. Don’t you think?

There are so many different ways of connecting to others. Each act of kindness is a window into their intimate world. You never know how you will touch another emotionally and spiritually until you allow your own rawness to show.

So I will continue to pour my love to whoever I can. I don’t care if it’s accepted or rejected. Somewhere in between their walls and discomfort is a door that allows me to be in their Sacred intimate space of light.

A New Day

It’s a new day. It’s a new opportunity.

I have spent several hours in meditation throughout the night. I’ve gone deep into the wilderness and other realms. I have found that there is static all over the place. Something is happening. It’s massive in both the dark and light…the duality.

There is a collective sadness. There is much anger. There is exhaustion. And add that times millions and we have an epidemic. But we also have massive release on a spiritual and cellular level.

I don’t know how to help. I keep asking guidance. I don’t know what I can write that will help start the release and healing for those who need it. I don’t know how to hold you if I’m here and you are there. But…

I believe in mindfulness. In sacredness. In the profound effects of love and forgiveness. I believe in Divine guidance and universal forces. I also believe that we can raise the energy to joy and compassion. We can shift.

Find others who are vibrating at a higher frequency. Spend time healing while doing things that bring you gratitude. Work on you and attract the things you want. We always have choices to remain or move into a new emotion. We truly have the most amazing gift and ability to evolve at all times…and grow into newness.

I cannot tell you how to begin healing. Or letting go. Or surrendering the hurt and anger. I can, however, hold space with you from here.

I feel that is one way we begin collectively healing ourselves and others.

I might sound like a childish broken record but just love. Love with what and who and where you are. Love heals. You cannot love and hate simultaneously. You cannot stand in darkness and call it love. Compassion and kindness are flames of pure light. Let’s start there.

I am holding you…from here. In this realm and others. Prayers are waves of yummy frequencies. They reach the heavens and all the places beyond.

Join me…with each conscious breath stating the love to the world and we will make ripples in the fabric of the universe. It starts with the energy of gratitude and joy and mostly…love.

I love you from here and there and everywhere.

(Image taken yesterday morning over the Blue Ridge Mtns)

Being a Giver

This morning at the light coming out of my little girl’s school a woman was turning in when another cut her off from the other direction. The woman was in front of me blocking the intersection and she was beyond angry. She was yelling profanities to the lady who turned in. Her windows were up but her hand gestures and mouth movements were irate. She had two kids in the backseat. I felt horrible for them.

I wanted to put my car on park and go knock on her window, force her out of her car and give her a hug. But we now live in a country that’s like the Wild West and I’ve become cautious of who may be carrying a weapon.

I immediately felt her anger. The situation just pushed it out. I felt her sadness and frustration. I saw her. I truly felt a break in my chest.

I stopped at the Starbucks with my little boy on my way into work. And by the time I got to the counter the sweet barista had his favorite treat and my chai ready. She had seen me in the parking lot.

I sobbed. There…at the counter…I let go of whatever I was holding on from experiencing the woman’s anger. I reached over and gave the barista a hug. I felt broken and I couldn’t compose myself.

Because we are caring and compassionate, we get to live in full awareness of the goodness.

When we are in a state of anger, hatred and panic we experience more of that.

I got to witness the duality from one extreme to another within minutes.

Now hours later I am still thinking of that middle-aged mama having a tantrum and meltdown for a car going in her spot for one minute.

We all have moments of falling down. The collective is feeling the heaviness. But I truly believe that in spite of what we see and hear about our country, and the world, things are shifting. Love is changing the energy. Just like that barista taking care of me before I even entered the place. We are seeing one another. We are caring enough to stop and reach for hearts.

And I choose to see love. I choose to give all of my compassion without expectancy. I choose to continue reaching for hearts while creating a revolution called LOVE.

The Magic of Perspective

What we see and how we interpret it determines how we live our lives. We accept and understand from the level of our experiences. This is why we are all coming from different levels of awareness. The lens of intaking information and processing are always shifting.

Many years ago I took this picture of my husband as we were hiking. The picture captured a completely different perspective of what I was experiencing. Was my reality wrong? Was he entering a portal and I didn’t see it with my naked eyes? My eyes saw what I could understand which were leaves through a beautiful forest. There are so many different views to everything around us…at all times.

We capture everything around us, including conversations, based on examples of past similarities.

We have the capacity of truly being mindful even when we disagree. We can see things differently and still love one another.

Perspective is ever changing. You can heal your past by seeing with different lenses. Darlings, allow yourself the ability to shift and heal based on what you want in the future and not old programming. You get to decide how you see the world around you, how you process information and how you utilize it for your life.

Make it magical. Open your eyes and your heart to find the divine around you.

I love you.

Stories that Connect Us

Today I heard a story that cracked me wide open. It was one of those stories of loss, grief, and survival that lingered all day. I sat with the soul who shared and wept as she shared memories of her deceased son. I held her hand and, together in the silence, we held space for each other.

I had nothing of words to share. All I could do was give my love through the energy of touch. I loved her deeply. I felt her pain. I felt her emptiness. I felt her soul. I also felt her love.

I heard her forgiveness as she processed the loss, while questioning God for taking him. She went through the layers of grief and I could feel her release. Her body began to surrender.

It was powerful. It was truly an honor to witness her bloom. She was coming out of muck into something that she didn’t recognize.

I am forever moved by the human spirit and the millions of stories that connect us. There are stories within stories that teach us to dig in the depth of our own humanity. We either learn while evolving spiritually or stay stagnant and live in a hell of emotional imprisonment. There is no in between when it comes to these empathetic connections.

I find myself holding space for myself during these times. I step back and count the blessings with the Divine. All that is loss moves through pain while holding on to the past. All that is gained moves through love and forgiveness in acceptance of what is now. The awareness is always there but our perception isn’t always so clear. We are thrown into the flux of human emotion as we forget our spiritual journey. Once we set humanness aside and return to spirit we are aligning again with truth. We become aware of who we are. The grief doesn’t disappear. We are able to accept, visit with it, and move through it…until next time. We no longer wear it as a shield as not to get hurt ever again.

And this is why we must share with others. This is why the stories must be told. What you experience may just be someone’s life jacket to keep going.

We expand. We aren’t merely surviving. We are living. We are here to truly evolve through love and letting go. We are here to walk the sacred journey until we are not. What we do with our time is truly mystical. We are asked to just show up and allow for the mysterious to unfold.

I love you.