Ask and Let Go

We ask and ask and then try to control the outcome. Then we start to get like little children… angry because we don’t get what we want (especially as fast as we want). Asking for anything in prayer requires the release of the situation. It’s truly about letting go. Let’s begin by recognizing that WE ARE THE MIRACLE. And in this miracle, we can truly create. We may not be happy with the outcome, since we have so many lessons to learn in this human experience.

Ask. Let go. Be grateful. It all happens in divine timing.

And yes, sometimes the opposite of what we want happens. Or, extremes in the challenges appear. There is no certainty to this human experience. It is truly a magnificent lesson in trust.

If you happen to have a perfect formula please share it with me!

I love you…Millie

The Release

release woman

A few months ago I met a woman in a store in Downtown Asheville. She walked passed me and I gasped at her angelic beauty. I introduced myself and we began a sweet friendship that has evolved into a magical connection.

She’s a healer. A massage therapist and Reiki practitioner (among other things).  I saw on Facebook that she was sharing a special Heart Chakra Therapy/Massage for the month of February. I made an appointment with her for last Tuesday.

Kelie is fabulous. Her energy is soothing and loving. I can always use a little healing and energy to the heart department. But, what I didn’t expect was the intense opening after I left her place. I expected a little relaxation, perhaps a few tears, but never the deep conscious awareness of a massive shift.

Tenderness and intuition are a marriage of astronomical proportions. I give a lot of me to others. I am well aware of how I spend my days sending love. I also keep a lot to myself, especially old wounds. I think I release them but when I get a healing treatment like this it comes up and I am well aware that our cellular memories run profound.

They get stuck and create new spaces in our physical bodies. The emotional body gets jacked up. The spiritual body feels stumped. The misalignment is sometimes subtle but sometimes it manifests in severe diseases and ailments.

I spent Tuesday night sobbing, curled up in fetal position throughout the night. I was visited by guidance. I cut energetic cords of things that no longer serve me. There were moments of lucid dreaming, returning to the past, unraveling conversations that have created themselves into unnecessary experiences.

What was I creating with these stories through lack of self-worth?

I am always fascinated by how touch heals us. A massage, a few crystal stones, aromatherapy and tenderness can catapult a release that has been stored away in a small Pandora’s box. The moment it opens up it sure feels like all hell breaks loose.

We are always one decision away from healing and releasing. I know I must process things first. I tend to hold on to things and forget that I have them there. Every so often they sneak out with a song, a conversation, and the memory transports me back to the past. Then I rethink, re-shift, and readjust my sails. What I forget to do is truly release and let go of them completely.

I get help. I go to someone else who isn’t part of my stories. I’m amazed how the Universe aligns those sweet healers in my path. And then…bang…it happens and I am recreated into a beautiful newness of trust and light.

This is also the work I am creating with clients. Story tending and sharing helps grab those old experiences in order to release. We create magic together. I love being the student witnessing the journey.

It’s truly sacred and full of love. For everyone involved.

I love you!

I urge you to check out Kelie’s website: https://www.rubyrosesanctuary.net/

 

 

 

Return to Your Inner Voice

I have had an incredibly amazing weekend when it comes to Spirit. I was able to meditate, get guidance in the most magical ways, and release. I healed my voice. I healed my heart. I heard over and over the clarity from God and guides. It’s amazing how much comes through when you get out of your own way. In letting go, you receive so much more. In allowing, you begin to feel the embracing of all that is divine.

We believe we are in control. What an illusion! The universe is always conspiring to give you everything you want. When things don’t happen in our “timing” it is because there are other things in the way that need addressing.

Return to your inner voice. Return to your authentic power. Return to your knowing. Sending massive amount of yummilicious love vibes to all of you.

Recognizing Your Worth Through Others

worthy

A little over a month ago I met a man through a friend for counseling and a reading on my specific roles and capabilities. He sat across from me with a bunch of charts, reports, and research for my human design. In his findings I came to see who I am and what I do, the things that need adjustments and many other components to my personality. I was able to recognize what truly moves me and makes me tick. I was able to understand what isn’t working for me as I enter my second act in life. As he moved from diagram to information I was taken aback by his sadness. He lost his husband a few months ago, the love of his life, and this man was very present in our meeting. I reached over to him, touched his hand, and told him that his partner was proud of him and how he’s moving on. I expressed that his life was still in turmoil but it wouldn’t always stay like this. I don’t know what else I might have said because the message was for him and not for me to remember. His eyes watered. Part of my human design shows my heighten intuition and he brought the message back to that awareness and how I needed to work from that place of “feeling and knowing.” He witnessed how I can shut everything around me and just go with messages from beyond without filtering.

But here is the thing: we fake things like actors in a role. We move through life with dramatic presence while hiding behind a facade. We hide behind our hurt and brokenness. We cover emotions extremely well.

Or, do we? Who are we fooling?

Our emotions bleed through other parts of our psyche and body. His emotions, especially anger and hurt, were evident at that moment. For me it is easier to decipher messages from Spirit when I know nothing of that person. At that moment I felt his despair and the need to just hold on tighter to his feelings until we were finished. I was overwhelmed by his tenacity in holding it together…and I am sure he does a great job at not sharing his most intimate thoughts, especially with a total stranger.  

This is the double edge sword of sensitivity. Feelings have a way of regressing, progressing and digressing. Loss is not something we can tuck away without facing it. It requires visitations, accepting and releasing. This lovely man might “know” this on a metaphysical level, but we are humans and, as emotional creatures, those things can be faked…up to a level. Emotions can be controlled on the surface, but by no means, will they remain hidden.

A few weeks later I walked into a store and I bumped into this man. He did not recognize me. He couldn’t pinpoint how he knew me. I had to remind him of weeks prior and his scientific findings on my human design. He immediately said, “Oh my, you look softer and lighter.” I hugged him, thanking him for a huge awareness in my life. Things have taken a 360 degree turn with me. I still don’t know what my future holds in terms of profession and purpose, but I no longer need to think obsessively about it. Thinking is not part of my architectural design. I told him that in his research of my personality, I realized that when I move through my “feelings and knowing” things always work out. My intuition and emotions guide me to the right path. It’s been a HUGE sense of freedom in recognizing why things get blocked when I start to “think.” I needed to get out of my head ASAP because things were being affected around me. He smiled and was moved with deep gratitude. Then we shared a few other things and tears began to fall quickly. He was grieving that day. He had no intention of leaving his house. Yet, he went to this little book store near downtown Asheville and found that the universe had an appointment for him. I had never been to that store and stopped that day to meet friends. I was there to remind him of his worth, greatness, and profound purpose in helping others. I love when the Divine plans these beautiful meet-ups. It never fails to remind me of how I love to be led by synchronicity and serendipity.

Our state of emotional connection with ourselves and others is magical. I have had many encounters with others when I’ve needed a pick-me-up. We are worth more than what we believe in ourselves. In those encounters with strangers I needed to hear and feel what they said at the perfect timing. This man did too. He has forever changed the way I perceive who I am and what I am doing here. Using his techniques and becoming aware of my emotional and physical bodies has allowed me to stand firmer in my truth.

Divine intervention is a magnificent source of love. It will guide us to find purpose and worth. It will force us to see who we are when we don’t believe in ourselves. May you find someone on your path today who can remind you of your presence and importance in this world. And, may it be an angel just like this man has been for me. Have a blessed day!

Truly Listen to Another

listen

For the major part of my adult life I have rarely heard when someone has told me who they are.  If you really listen to a stranger, a new person in your life, the beginning of a romantic relationship, you will find that they DO tell you who they are…for the most part (some folks are mentally ill and cannot decipher personality traits from their disorder).  Sometimes it isn’t verbal but through events and actions that leave you flabbergasted with questioning, “WTF?”  The fixer in me was always trying to take them by the hand and shake all those negative ideas of themselves.  I wanted to show them what I was seeing.  I wanted them to live to their highest potential of what I THOUGHT was correct.  This is complete and utter b.s. and arrogance.

A few years ago I dated a wonderful man, very briefly, for a few weeks.  On our first hike he kept stopping as we were trekking up this steep mountain terrain and laying down everything that was him.  He basically gave me a rundown of the things that were acceptable, who he was, what he would put up with, and so many other small fragments of his personality.  When we reached the summit I was truly exhausted but so relieved.  He showed me that hour the person he was and I truly listened.  I am so glad I did, because a few days later, in my need to bring out the best in another to my convenience, he stopped me again and reminded me how he laid it all on the line.  He was right.  He was one of the best teachers I’ve ever had in a relationship.  And, although our time together was brief, it was a powerful lesson in listening to another when they tell you who they are.  They know themselves better than anyone.

This relationship taught me about the art of setting boundaries and not getting lost in another person.   It allowed me to step back and watch the past pattern of behavior in wanting to bring another human being into my life to fit perfectly.  In my oblivious state of mind, which is a trait I cannot change, I saw the beauty and perfection of him.  But, relationships take time to evolve, and he fought me from the beginning.  He wasn’t going to change in his early fifties.  He was and is the best version of himself.  Together we would have been the ultimate disaster.  And…knowing this from early on saved us both a lot of grief.

I am aware that people have a diverse multitude of personalities.  They will show different sides to their convenience.  Some people cannot reach the emotional state early on, or ever. I understand that it takes time to learn the truth in another.  Hopefully they know their truth because some folks are just clueless!  This beautiful person showed me to look at myself and be honest with another from the very beginning.  I have taken it upon myself to do just that.  What you see is what you get.  There’s no hidden agenda.  I learned to be upfront in future relationships.  I learned to share my abilities, faults, flaws, and the things I will not tolerate.

Listening with my head rather than my heart, for a little while, allowed me to detach the desire to have a man in my life and see who he really was from the beginning.  I loved that about him.  And, throughout the years in our friendship we have always been to the point with one another.  It’s beautiful to be among a person who knows his truth.

Do yourself a favor and never ignore the words and actions from another when beginning any kind of relationship or friendship.  When someone tells you who they are listen with your mind and an open heart.  Divine guidance is there in those moments that speak truth.  And…always be honest with your feelings.  If it doesn’t feel right…drop it quickly.  You come first and foremost.  Have a blessed day.

Ageless Soul

photo (3)

I have in my possession a few things older than me: my grandmother’s Italian espresso maker, her wedding dishes from Germany, an original Geisha Japanese doll from a century ago, and photo slides of times before I was even conceived.  I am sure there are other items in my care that are older than my human 47 years.  But, the oldest thing that I have is my soul.  It is ageless.  It has arrived here willingly accepting the ignorant, stubborn, difficult, and silliness of my humanness to travel in this incarnation.  This soul has decided to witness the manipulations, rejections, and lessons of my personality while sitting back and waiting for me to acknowledge truth.  This soul has guided me in moments that I felt were my last, and in other moments that have birthed me with new knowledge and awareness.  Because of this I know my soul is ageless, timeless and priceless.

Whenever I look at my hands they feel like the oldest things I own because of the wear and tear they have endured.  They have touched, caressed, and loved deeply.  But, still they aren’t the oldest things in me.  My soul knows secrets that go beyond my age and experiences.  When I allow the openness to lead the way, magic is created.  That’s intuition!  It happens through synchronicity and serendipity…or is it a prearranged destiny that I am finally aligning to it?

We arrive into this world with amnesia.  We forget the reason we are here and what needs to be done.  We travel unconscious and erratic while waiting for someone to explain the meaning of our lives.  When we begin to honor the authenticity of spirit the soul starts to show us truth.  We begin to meet the teachers along the way.  Events, circumstances and the depth of life proceed to show us the reason for our existence.  It doesn’t happen quickly.  It arrives through small moments, conversations, listening and tasting the simple things around us.  It comes through the whispers of prayer, meditation and creativity.

Whether you believe in past lives, reincarnation, or other metaphysical subjects, there is an understanding that our souls are much older than our bodies.   I know things that make no sense to me.  I have no clue where the information has arrived into my brain.  And, because I sometimes have little filtering the words shoot out before I can analyze and retrieve them.  This is when I witness firsthand the vastness of my soul, the ageless miracle of spirit.  The unknown makes its presence known and connects to another soul.  It is mystical!

Have you thought about the age of your soul: the weight of its knowledge; the size of its information; the connections to those around you; the lessons it wants to teach you? They are beautiful and awed-stricken thoughts.  If, and when, we let go of the idea that we have control, the soul flourishes.  It blossoms and appreciates the awareness of ego finally letting go.  It teaches you faith, belief, hope, and grace.  Your soul, my soul, every soul, is here to learn, love, and experience life to the fullest.  It comes in with obliviousness and slowly starts to remember its purpose through the whispers of the heart. We begin to remember what we were programmed to forget through society.  Surrender to your yearning. Listen closely.  Be present.  Follow your intuition.  It is there that the soul smiles and claims its presence while guiding you to the greatness of your evolution.
“Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.” ~ Anne Sexton

Restlessness Within

Sylvia Plath wrote, “There are times when a feeling of expectancy comes to me, as if something is there, beneath the surface of my understanding, waiting for me to grasp it. It is the same tantalizing sensation when you almost remember a name, but don’t quite reach it.”  Lately I’ve been feeling this restlessness.  There is urgency for anticipation of sorts like the dessert waits for the rain, or the end of winter calls onto spring.  I sit in meditation allowing for the expectancy of the unknown.  I move through my days writing, keeping busy or just doing nothing as my body calls for it.  I feel fortunate for this month.  Sometimes I am at a loss between spaces and time elements. Then as I continue with awareness I find my soul childishly becoming very impatient with itself.

As a young child I used to play alone a lot.  I entertained myself for hours.  When I was among others and had to sit for long periods of time my legs would shake.  Even in school I would shake the desk while working.  I was restless in my own space.  I craved movement, travel and change of scenery.  This has been a constant struggle in my life.  I find myself always in situations where I cannot just pick up and go and I enter a place of erratic motion through lack of sleep, a constant search to do something, and the unwillingness to let go of this hyper sensitive knowing that everything is going to be okay if I just sit long enough to accept it.

As I write this I am aware that my legs are shaking up and down.  It is humorous to catch myself still running while sitting.  I am the first to tell others to relax, to chill and to learn to do nothing.  I move into writing and can’t get passed the walls of emotions and insecurities.  I return to sit and watch nature to then decide I should be writing and it’s a vicious circle of restlessness.  Things are on the tip of my mind and I can’t claim the thoughts.  It’s horrific at times, scary beyond words to know that so much lives on without my awareness.  But it does.  And, it’s good that it does.  It’s healthy that my consciousness takes me here and there in moments that I, the ego being, cannot reach.

I cannot blame the past few weeks of Mercury retrograde on this impatience and exasperated emotions of self.  These past three weeks perhaps have been intensified by the cosmos but I rather accept that things come up when they are ready to be accepted, explored and released.  It’s really that simple!  They show up and we must sit with them, visit with them while allowing for their impossible short time in our presence.  Like an unwelcomed guests they have their moment of drama and then they leave.  Nothing lasts forever.

The disgruntled occasions of not being able to finish my books aid in reaching other things inside.  Winter is always about moving inward.  I am a hermit at heart.  I have no problem disconnecting from the world, sometimes way too easily.  Luckily my friends and loved ones know this and allow for those weeks of retreat several times a year.  I make no excuses for who I am.

I am in the “I-don’t-know-what-tomorrow-will-bring” stage.  I am rarely here as I have always been a woman of goals.  I have always known what I wanted and how to achieve those things.  But, I am at a loss these days.  It is truly a disturbing presence to be alone with this ache for something that I can’t grasp or name as I surrender to it. I believe the Divine has me here for a reason so I must acquire patience and tolerance with me and keep moving forward through signs ahead.  The state of limbo is not forever and while I am here I can rely on Spirit for guidance. I must believe that this restlessness will push me forward into something magical and progressive.  When we are stuck without discomfort we choose to stay there.  It is in times like this that I know the unknown takes me places.

I wish you peace, love and light….until next time!