It is all about Love!

I want you to put your hand over your heart area. I want you to close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Become aware of your rhythm. Your heart is not the place of love. It’s the place of life. It pumps blood to your body. Now I want you to think of how you feel when you are with loved ones, when you are touched and caressed, when you are held in gratitude. That feeling comes from your mind…from the deepest part of consciousness. It is the essence of soul.

We get to decide who and what we love because we are love. I’ve never understood why the heart was associated with love because I feel it all over. I feel it in my head and in my toes. I feel it when I hear stories or hold a friend in need. I feel it in hugs and words and silence.

Everything in my life is about reaching the highest vibration of soulfulness…which is love.

Darlings, your heart gives you life. Your consciousness expands through love. You are LOVE. We are connected through it. It isn’t a hippie-fied movement. It’s the awakening to truth.

~m.a.p.

Strong-fragile Heart

A little over a year ago I had a doctor appointment…a follow up from a brief hospital stay in December. The doctor was explaining a murmur in my heart that I’ve had since I was a child. He insisted in drawing a picture of the valve not closing all the time…blah blah blah. He went into a lot of technical medical terminology that went right over my head. I had that look of numbness so he stopped being a doctor. He stopped and saw me.

He was very kind with his words. He said that I have the lungs of a teenager and the heart of a strong woman. He looked at me with the sweetest blue eyes and said, “You have a strong-fragile heart so we have to be cautious of what we put in your body.”

I chewed on those words the rest of that morning: “Strong-fragile heart.” Yes..that! I have that…that which I think can’t break but is always at the edge of fracturing even with being strong. That…yes…that was clearly the best description of how I feel most of the time…all my feelings, and emotions gathered at the edge of strength and then struggling in vulnerability because I was taught to, “Suck it up, Buttercup!”

There…right there in the opening and closing of valves and whatever else mechanism I have in there. Just wanted to share that because most of us here who are empaths have strong-fragile hearts. We get this concept of “strong-fragile heart.” We understand what it is to feel all the time and not be able to help another. But, we must take care of ourselves first. That ticker, the one that gives us life, must be treated gently even if it’s strong and powerful. We must honor the life that moves through it with each breath.

‘Cause I know you. You are constantly right on that edge…pulling back and pushing forward. You are barely standing and breathing but you manage to keep it up. You are always feeling as if one minute is too much to open and close into another. I feel you as you feel me. It’s some powerful thingy being on the edge of emotions. We have the power to move past it all. We must keep moving without falling into the depth of constant thought analysis. We are led by love.

You beat to your own drum even when no one else around you understands you. You move through it cause you are freaking awesome and strong and filled with faith and compassion. I have never had a doctor explain things in such simple manners that left me thanking the universe for the beauty of connecting with someone. It is rare to find a science man filled with so much tenderness.

Thank you for being in my life, sweet strong-fragile souls. I love you. Touch that ticker and feel the life in it. Let it do its strong-fragile thingy to the best of its ability. As you move through this season forget the chaos of what is expected and enjoy the moments of love, sharing, and laughter. You got this!

Listening with your heart

listening

I lost hearing in my right ear the summer of 2015. It happened like a giant boom in my head. I woke up with static and then it felt like an explosion. It didn’t hurt. It didn’t sting. It just felt like nothing was coming in. A doctor checked it out and suggested drops. There was no permanent damage. I feel I just stopped listening to things that were happening around me. I started to tune out and it became permanent.

Throughout the last year and a half I’ve had moments when I feel sensations. I’ve had energy work done to it and sound has started to move through in those moments. I don’t really pay attention to it until someone is mumbling, or they speak really low, or they aren’t in front of me so I can read their lips. That’s when I realize that the sound is being muffled.

I have learned to listen attentively. I’ve always listened to silence so this is not unusual. Because, I feel, more than I hear, the listening part doesn’t affect me. However, sometimes I really really really want to get lost in a conversation and if there are too many voices going on at once I zone out because one ear cannot hold onto everything at once. In order to really listen I must be present.

This is with everything in our lives. It isn’t just about listening or hearing. It’s also about seeing, smelling, and tasting. I live in a world of words, and when I cannot decipher what is being said, I get frustrated. When I ask someone to repeat themselves sometimes the message gets tangled because that person is now frustrated for having to say it again. I have noticed that my left ear has lost some of its power to fully listen. It now takes all of me to be present when someone is speaking to me and I want to hear every syllable…because what is being said is important.

Being attentive is an art I am learning with this small challenge. I must partake completely rather than multitask. I must be in complete focus to hear the things said and those that escape the ears. Losing my hearing has also been a gift in the most loving and powerful ways. It has allowed me to stop everything else around me in order to see, feel, and digest what is being said. It has also magnified other senses around me to make up for loss. This has been magnificent.

I urge you to be present when another is speaking. And if I, or anyone else, asks that you repeat yourself please be patient. The moment someone who can’t hear feels another person’s frustration everything shuts down. I get embarrassed often when someone shows me their frustration for repetition, so I’ve learned to nod and smile rather than continue asking. Somethings get lost in that translation.

Listen with your heart…and the ears never need to find sound. These days I am listening with my emotions rather than anything else. Even in your silence I can decipher what you are feeling…so if I hold your hand for no reason it is because my heart feels you and hears your aches. It’s in those intimate moments when you are near me that I can truly see your words in the language of love. I love you. Have a blessed week, dear friends!

Healing From A Broken Heart

 

broken heart love

You meet someone. You fall deeply in love and then life happens and the relationship ends. Sometimes it’s timing. Other times it’s through the loss of death. And yet, in many other cases it was the need to mature and grow as individuals apart. A dear friend recently asked me, “How can you continue in other relationships? What do you do when you realize that your heart belongs to someone else?” I pondered long and hard. I thought about my own love affairs, those who still hold and tug my heart in places that I will never release. But, in a world that is driven by romance novels and movies it’s really difficult to decipher what you should do when the heart chooses to love another. It’s almost impossible to explain to another what you are feeling inside. I couldn’t answer my friend at the time, but here are six questions to ask in order to heal from an intense break-up:

1. Was he or she really “the one?” We perceive that there is only “one” great love. There could be many “ones.” There might be “the one” who knew your every move and story; the one who was the best kisser; the one who was the best comedian; the one who loved your children. “The one” is a concept we have created to personalize that one person who was the best at a certain thing. The worst thing you can do is tell another who is hurting, “time heals all wounds,” or “you will heal from this.” There is no time limit on hurt and grieving. The heart knows what it wants. Sometimes we neglect to appreciate what we have until it’s over. It’s a human default. It has little to do with intelligence. The heart may just be owned by an ex forever. You can try to substitute it with drugs, alcohol, sex or other addictions, but it’s truly difficult to move on. And, that’s okay! You don’t have to figure things out today. It might take years before making peace with how you feel. Every so often, those loves re-enter our lives. Because of lessons and growth, we appreciate them in a profound level that was never there before.

2. What was the thing that connected you? When we are in other relationships we create a false perception of what we are missing. Life happens through us, not to us. People move on. We are bombarded with quotes about missing love, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” There is a reason you are now in another relationship. This person touched you in some way. There was a new connection. But, there are also those who do not move into other relationships. They are paralyzed by the loss. The connection was over. Can you remain friends with an ex-lover? Can you still partake in their lives without sex? Can you continue that relationship while starting another? These are questions only you can answer honestly.

3. What did you learn from the relationship? Every relationship brings lessons. There is a time and place for each one. The deeper the connection, the harder the challenges. Intense relationships have a way of turning us upside down, right side up and in circles. They don’t just go away after they have existed in your life. It doesn’t matter if it was a love affair in your teens, a two-week fling, or years of sharing a life with children and family. Relationships force us to grow and learn in ways that can break and mend us. If you can revisit with that person, what would you say to him/her? What would you say was their purpose in your life? Cutting past chords of love is truly difficult when you know that your heart was given solely to that person. It’s never easy to take full responsibility for our behaviors. How you act with another is a reflection of your own insecurities.

4. Was it lust or love? We tend to mix the two. Lust drives us to lose our minds in the process of sharing with a lover. We feel things in a physical level that clouds the mind. Love, however, will continue to poke and force you to stay without restrictions. Ask yourself if it was a physical relationship or one that transcends through time? Some lovers leave imprints that cannot be forgotten. In bed it was magical, but outside in the real world, it was disastrous. You must decide if what you are missing is the sexual connection or was this a life partner that completely had your back in all your decisions?

5. Why did it end? This is one of the most honest questions you can ask yourself. You can make a mistake once. If you make it more than that it is considered a decision. You chose to stay or leave. There is usually a pattern that you can track. Was he or she selfish with their time and needs? Was it a possessive relationship? Where you taken for granted? Did you feel appreciated? Where you heard and understood? Was it timing? You may ask yourself many other questions. There is always one or two authentic reasons that the relationship ended (unless death pulled you apart).

6. Are you replacing him/her with another without healing? Most people have no clue that they will enter other relationships with similar traits. Awareness is absent when hurt takes over. How do you get over someone that made you come alive? Often times you replace them with familiarity. Being honest with yourself about how you feel in this new relationship will serve as a marking point. It’s not fair to your new mate, or yourself, if you are still holding on to another who (you feel) stole your heart. Healing doesn’t happen over night. Healing requires pulling out roots and seeing things without pointing the finger to your ex. Healing is about you and coming to terms with the reality that maybe, perhaps, your instincts were letting you know that the relationship was toxic. Not all lovers raise us to the highest form of love.

How do you heal from a past love? There is no one set answer. I am definitely no expert in matters of love. Each person is different. What I do believe is that you must take care of yourself. You must find a place to love yourself beyond anyone else. It’s not selfish. It’s not egotistical. It’s self-love. It’s imperative to allow time the space to gently introduce another in your life. Jumping from one to another adds to the intensity of loss. Your heart might never feel what it did with “the one,” but a new “one” might just show you a deeper form of love that reflects who you really are.

 Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.” ~ Mandy HaleThe Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

Love Like This

forgive

Love can’t be written

so you will know its authenticity.

Love can’t be smelled

so you will remember its sweetness.

Love can’t be tattooed

so you can recall its effects.

Love can only be savored,

devoured by the eyes,

acknowledged by the smiles,

consumed by the heart,

and by the energy it gathers

each time it is touched

by Spirit.

The Mind

Last night while searching for something I found an old notebook from when I was 16 years old. I used to collect inspiring quotes (no internet then) and I would create some of my own. Amongst them was this one that kinda stopped me for a few minutes. What did I know about anything at that age? I also wrote another, “The paradox of man is striving for success and then dying in the pressure.” I cannot imagine what brought that on since I was so young. But, that’s the thing about youth: we Write and Create without inhibitions. We move through self and forward into the world before we begin to believe what others want us to follow. I wanna go back to that over zealous, tenacious and audacious girl who believed she would conquer the world through love. I am beginning to reconnect with her and she’s marvelous. She is a unicorn-rider-fairy-lover-nature girl that has fought the dragons and won! Whatever she began to accept as a false belief is being demolished. Ohhhh! To finally let go of old paradigms. To finally be free to embrace the authentic self.

We are magnificent and divine. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Mucho love.

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