Leaves of Heart

leaf-heart

I find pieces of me

in every leaf that falls

dancing

twirling

colorful

slow-motioned

and freely

dipping onto earth

without a care

or judgment.

The trees exasperate

breathing endlessly

for such release

like thousands

of tears

sending small rainbows

to the world.

I want to bring joy

and wonder

for one second

to another who can see

the presence of me falling

in love

over and over

smiling from my heart

like autumn leaves

canvassed through the mountains

awaiting the letting go

of magic one last time.

Armor Plated Heart

armor

I find happiness in your arms,

embraced by the suit  of armor,

as I lay against your shielded heart

while you try so well

to hide the past inside.

I feel your beat:

pitty-patty,

thump-thump,

lub-dub,

jumping inside the armor.

I cannot reach it.

I cannot remove the fears.

I cannot erase

your previous stories.

At times I’m impulsive

and frustrated

because I want so much

to hear all your sensations

clearly

instead of mild vibrations

echoing through the metal

of your suit.

Frequently the noise seems

so shallow and I ask myself

if you are even human.

Someday the metal

armor plated covering

must come off

and I will cherish

the sounds,

the touch,

the scents

of finally reuniting with your soul…

the one I met a thousand years ago.

Dancing Heart

dancing heart

The great Sufi poet Rumi said, “You dance inside my chest.”  I believe that’s one of the most beautiful descriptions of love.  When you feel love it is just like a dance with amazing melodies endlessly pounding inside.  Sometimes the dance is a sensual tango; now and then the exciting Cha-Cha; in rare moments a Waltz while other times it is a delicate choreographed ballet.  And, for every single dance in your chest there is an eternal space connecting with the universe.  There is no shortage or limited capacity to what and who can enter into this joyous festivity.  When your heart is opened to love everyone is welcomed.  Not all will stay but the majority will have bounced, rocked, moved, and made you skip a beat.

Sometimes when I am at a loss for words (believe it or not it happens) I open up a book on poetry or quotes or my favorite inspirational stories.  Each word, paragraph and page allows me to reach inside this party in my chest and turn on the music.  My children, friends, parents, family, strangers and lovers begin to dance in my chest.  Memories flow, not in a sad way, but in the acceptance of being present with all the ecstasy I’ve felt for each person.  Who doesn’t like a great party?  My heart has been broken just like every single person in the world.  But, with each healing the life force in me has expanded.  It has grown to allow a larger gala, celebration, and party.

On this 4th of July allow your heart to dance.  May it start a new shindig and join with an old one.  Allow the dance in your chest to carry you through any loneliness, sadness, mourning, lost, and Cha-Cha your way to the other side of grace, joy and love.  I will see you there…beating inside of mine through our connections with Spirit.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi

I love…

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I love…

because I know

no other way of breathing.

The heart opens up with

an immense light

embracing everything

along its path.

I don’t know

how to stop

even when the rude,

the insensitive, the hurt,

and the nasty

come towards me

trying to dim my flame.

I have no shield to stop

the heart break for you,

them and all.

I love…

because the alternative

is no longer available, reachable

or able to exist in me.

Something opened up

the depth of my soul

to this rawness, vulnerability,

an explicable sense of truth.

No one is born evil.

Life molds them,

trains them,

and beats the goodness out.

Everyone had a mother,

a father,

a person to care or…

not care.

That is what caused them

to be this way.

I love…

because compassion

always wins

even if you can’t witness it

immediately.

It is the ripple

taking its time and space

to mend the world

and all that is unjust in it.

I love…

because the Divine is guiding

that piece of me towards a miracle.

It only takes one

to begin the effects

of a selfless heart.

I love…

because even with ego

someone

cared enough to hold

your hand,

kiss his cheeks,

and touch the inside of her heart.

 

Listening with Heart

listening

Words often get lost when spoken. I don’t mean in translation. What I mean is that they lose their power, bravery, essence when the other person is not listening. We hear. We hear everything around us through all the other senses. Lately the universe is teaching me to listen sacredly. I’m being forced to stop hearing and really listen attentively to things that the other senses do not capture. It is like walking blindly into a thick forest with only my hearing to guide me.
What does it require to listen? When do we become completely and mentally aware of our attention to the voices of the universe? When and how do we realize the silence of the Divine? Listening requires accountability of presence. It pushes and forces us to stop the chit-chat in ourselves and be with another.
I am guilty of jumping into another person’s explanation when they aren’t speaking the things I do not want to hear. It is horrible. It is rude! This happens when I feel criticism, or rejection about to take place. I stop listening and I just hear. As John Wayne said, “You’re short on ears and long on mouth.” I become just that. But, to listen wholeheartedly requires a sense of complete abandonment from ego. In order to listen there must be no fear of projection, rejection, and subjection. Whenever a friend comes to me with a personal matter I somehow know to remove my “hearing” ears and put on my “listening” ones without any reservation. So, I know that listening is an act that is available all the time if I was to practice it even when it is about me. We all want to understand and be understood by another. In really listening, this need is met. It is a gift.
When I go to Starbucks alone, I sit with my coffee and listen to the conversations around me. I listen with all of me, like some storyteller eavesdropping for ideas. In this voyeurism I hear more than what is said. I see the gestures, body language, lack of words, excessive run-on sentences, etc. I can hear the truth, the lies, made up stories in order to impress, the sadness, excitement, and joy of life. I listen to one soul moving into the space of another in however they know how to relate. In those moments listening is all I do and it is easy because it has nothing to do with me. It is beautiful, magical, and delightful!
I am learning. I am being a diligent student. I still make mistakes. I often forget to be completely in a conversation, in the moment, and move through every syllable, word, sentence and thought. I am consciously becoming aware of my listening skills. In quietude I listen to the space in between outside noise and my inward voice. I am paying attention to the Divine through mystical signs. I am more engaging with my loved ones, whether it is a conversation that I understand or one that leaves me breathless with excitement. Listening requires the deepest of all presence. It embraces the what-is and what- is-not of you. I am listening through my heart more than ever. With each beat I take in a letter and it makes me come alive. “The word listen has the same letters as silent.” That should tell us something about its importance!
“Inner guidance is heard like soft music in the night by those who have learned to listen.” ~ Vernon Howard

Treasures

Whenever you look

into me

I can see you’ve found

the forest, oceans,

deserts, cities,

caves, rivers,

and mountains

trapped in a terrain of womanhood.

Although no one else

has noticed,

you search high and wide

each morning,

every night,

diving into the depth

of things you can’t understand

but want to learn to love

with such passion

that just being with me

makes you

the greatest explorer of all.

In my skin you find wonder;

in my eyes you find treasures;

and, in my heart you find home.