The Ugliness of Racism

unity

Yesterday evening I was at a store with my husband and our little girl. While he was trying on pants I took Kali in the cart through the shoe section. Kali is half Romanian and half Black. She looks like a miniature version of Halley Berry. She is super friendly, always talking to everyone that passes by. My husband says she’s like me but I think she takes the word “friendly” to a whole new level.

A little girl around 5 years old was in an aisle. Kali immediately said hello and started chatting away with her. She reached out to touch her. The little girl was white with blonde hair and blue eyes. The child left me speechless with her words, “Don’t you dare touch me with that skin! Don’t talk to me. You are gross!”

I stood there looking at the hatred from this child. The parents were in the other aisle. I immediately turned the cart around and felt such anger and sadness. I felt the jabs and stabs of unbelievable prejudice, shame and judgment. Who could teach a little girl to hate like that? Kali, of course, had no idea of what had happened. She continued waving and speaking to everyone in the store. I, on the other hand, held my tears through deep breathing while trying to send forgiveness to her little soul.

Here’s the thing: hate is not a gene we are born with. Love is. Hate is learned, manipulated, brewed and used out of fear. I live in the South. North Carolina has progressed tremendously, but I also know that some of these back roads aren’t friendly for someone like Kali…or me. I don’t look Hispanic, until I open my mouth and a word, here and there, will slip with a deep accent. I am proud of my heritage, as I am also proud of all my children and their backgrounds. My husband is as Irish white as they come. I’ve never taught my children skin color, racism, or hatred. I don’t know how anyone could involve a child in such backward thinking and disgusting behavior. Discrimination is something I judge with every cell in my body…so that doesn’t make me a very loving person.  I have tolerance for a lot of things but when it comes to humanitarian division it all disappears.

I hated myself the rest of the night for not standing there and saying something to that little girl on behalf of Kali. But, I also saw her parents. I felt their oppression. Who am I to fix something that is so deeply ingrained in the middle of a store? And worse of all…had my husband, who tolerates zero crap of that behavior, would have come out in that moment all hell would have broken loose. So hatred would have conquered and love would have been thrown out the door. Let’s face it, we don’t remember the acts of kindness when hatred is that strong. I did smile at that little girl and shook my head in disbelief. But that wasn’t enough. In my fantasy world I would have taken her hand and gently pressed it on Kali so she could witness that she was warm and loving like her and the skin color wasn’t going to rub off on her. I would have spoken with sweet words about their beauty as they both had exactly the same hair style except in different colors.

Yes, I live in a fairy world at times. I think everyone thinks like I do about love, acceptance, compassion, empathy and forgiveness. But, this world is far from being a loving one. I worry about how Kali will have to battle her way through life in many instances. Then I think about the times I had to do it while I was young, living in an all-white neighborhood, and I was the only Hispanic around. I was the different one. I was accepted because I always molded to my surroundings and once they got to know me they realized I wasn’t a threat. I was just a little girl with a different voice. The rest of me fit in perfectly.

Our behaviors, as parents and teachers, determine the future of our world…and our existence. We cannot change hate and fear with immediate love. It requires more than that. Compassion is a start but wars aren’t won on compassion and kindness. This human race is divided through politics, religion, indifference and manipulation. The moment we begin to treat one another as divinity the hatred may crumble and we will be left with what was intended: unity for all.  But, how do we start and where do we begin?  How do we fix what seems to be so broken?  How can we become one race…the human race?  How can we begin the process of humanitarian freedom that will allow for true love?

May you have a blessed day…wherever you are and whoever you are. I don’t see color, race or gender. I see souls, but I witnessed something in that little girl that scared me intensely. I witnessed a new generation of anger and intolerance without remorse. It’s up to us to send loving vibes and prayers through conscious shifting into the masses. This world really needs it!  And a shift in thought and perception may be the start of something new.

Spiritual Deprivation

magical morning

When asked about the common subjects people talk to me about I always say “Love and Spirit.” People will share their love and stories without filter. It’s a given! They will unload information in a heart beat. The second subject is always along the lines of spiritual deprivation. Folks are in need of magic, mysticism, miracles, and faith. They want to know that there are others out there with the same curiosity and open-conscious level of understanding. They want to know that this is just not all of it…you know, the concept of living just to pay bills. Because, frankly, it’s not!

I am blessed to know (and my list continues to grow) hundreds of spiritual people. They are from all walks of life: Christians, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, and even non-denominational. I also know many religious folks who come across as spiritual but in truth they are all mind and no heart. To me spirituality is having a compassionate heart tied to a faith in something greater than ourselves that is non-violent and non-judgmental. If you are judging, criticizing and point all sorts of fingers to another while reciting God’s name, well darling, you aren’t spiritual. You are something else. Unfortunately there are a lot of religions based on the mastery of manipulation and the heart has to be taken out of the equation. You cannot love and hate at the same time. Impossible!

A few friends showed up this weekend from Florida and Georgia. Ah…the beauty of entertaining like-minded souls is in the allowance. We were able to openly discuss so many subjects of the conscious mind. And the thing that kept coming up was spiritual deprivation and starvation. We are not connecting one on one with others. I know they are millions feeling this massive shift of awareness, however, due to the overwhelming negativity of the pointing-fingers syndrome, no one discusses their faith with anyone. No one wants to be ridiculed. No one wants to die. The deprivation grows larger and before you know we are all scattered and left to fend for ourselves and spirit.

Spirituality is a lonely path. My steps cannot be walked by you and vice versa. We can, however, compare the paths. We can discuss the different ways we come into prayer, contemplation and meditation. We can share experiences that are beyond this realm. We can go deep into conversations about stars, planets, and cosmic energy. We can trust in each other when someone says, “Yeah, I was back there talking to the fairies and then Stevie, the unicorn, brought me out of the forest.” Just because you haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I haven’t experienced homelessness but I sure believe in it. I haven’t experienced war but I now it’s there. So, these are folks that want more. They crave for spiritual knowledge. They eat, sleep, watch and read all sorts of information trying to rationalize or enrich their faith. For centuries religions have done this. It’s part of our DNA, we must grow into the unknown. It’s pretty sad that in today’s world we can still be deprived by the simplest forms of human needs: mind, body and spirit.

I don’t have answers on how to find more spiritual connections. I really haven’t a clue. At least ten times a week I get a message from someone asking for spiritual retreats, meet-ups, or just comments on wanting connections with Spirit. I can only tell you that at times what you are looking into others is right inside of you if you just sit long enough to listen. There are some rough days I get up at 3AM angry as a hungry bear. Anger is not an emotion that suits me. It actually lowers every part of my cellular composition so I try real hard to just avoid the emotion. But, when it grabs a hold of me in the middle of the night, shaking me violently I know I must get to the nearest dark room, sit my butt down and disconnect from it. I am determined to raise my vibration to the highest form of love and dispel that emotion. I need to quiet the ego bitchiness and center myself to what matters. It’s in those moments that Spirit visits me. It’s in those precious minutes that the universe cradles me with unbelievable forms of awareness through love. And, it’s also in those times that forgiveness arrives and I can let go of all that is causing me such turmoil and chaos. I walk away feeling like me. I am still a spiritual being having a human experience. I am choosing to make it less dense with emotional baggage.

You have the answers to all your spiritual questions. You carry with you the spiritual knowledge to change and feed and enhance your life through divine guidance. You are all there is. Sure it’s awesome to share with others. Heck yeah! It’s comforting to know you aren’t bat-ass crazy and the looney farm has a room with your name on it waiting for you to check yourself in. That’s always wonderful to acknowledge. Likes attract likes. If you want more spiritually grounded individuals in your life you have to become one yourself without the fear of being scrutinized. You also have to look around your circle and realize when you have to let go of toxic energy. You have to put yourself in the arms of respect and self-worth. What good will it do you to find spiritual folks and then return to a place that destroys the yummy energy? Go love you. Go believe in yourself. Go be spiritual through the forest, by the shoreline, over the desert, on a mountain top. Just BE! You got this!

Agree to Disagree

oneworld

It’s taken most of this lifetime

to finally learn

not to judge myself based on

anyone else’s reasoning,

insanity, judgments,

ideals, and moral compass.

I will never live up to you

if I am going to be labeled,

scrutinized and manipulated.

I have my own ideas, thoughts, reasoning,

rationales that run from here

and end pass your comfort zone.

Please don’t hate me,

rejecting and discarding my patience

as I happily tolerate our differences.

It’s perfectly great that I can love you

in spite of not believing in your faith,

or siding with your political views,

or your twisted ideas on sexuality

and how “some people” are an abomination

to this earth. You are entitled to these thoughts

and that’s more than fine for you

but I am entrusted with my very own core beliefs.

I have collected these hypothesis

through my journey, gathering what works for me

in a basket of compassion even to the slightest judgment

coming at me like a double-edge sword.

I’m a big girl now feeling rather comfy

with myself and how this new world has welcomed me

with open arms (even when you label me as insane or abnormal).

I can’t stand intolerance, bigotry, ignorance, discrimination,

stupidity, and faithless hatred while you stand for pseudo Christianity,

holding your beliefs up with a rigid Bible-belt and hypocritical suspenders.

I can say that loving you is a privilege regardless of our differences…

but to you it is the in-differences that challenge the feelings in your heart.

It would be a dull world if we all thought the same.

The beauty of these crevices that indent every part of our humanity

is the agreements in disagreeing and watching the world evolve

through all diversity.  It’s a lovely truth:

to love one another without expecting to morph into one belief,

one idea, one thought, and one experience.

Ultimately the light that guides us is the one which lifts us to Spirit.

Let’s agree on that one point.

We are the totality of Divinity

regardless of your hesitations

to accept that which scares us to death.

We are all forms of faith, grace, truth…and Love.

In the end love should be what we can agree upon collectively!

The Secret

 hands of time

Come close.

I want to share a secret.

I love you!

I don’t know you well, but that doesn’t matter.

I love you for being here, listening,

reading, and being a part of my existence.

We are from different backgrounds, worlds apart,

have nothing in common, but I still love you.

Everything that breathes shares in my life.

Look at that tree.  See the leaves moving?

I love it too. 

Look at the ground: muddy, chaotic, smelly…

that’s one of my favorite loves.

Check out the dog chasing the cat.  Yes…smile. 

There’s a real Tom and Jerry.  I love them too.

The man over there lying with a cup by him on the station floor?  Him too.

The woman talking to herself?  Yes, she’s my love as well.

Oh, the nasty personality at the convenient store?  Yeah…he resides in me.

And, that teenager over there plotting and scheming with a knife…

he is definitely my love.

It doesn’t matter what and who you believe, I still love you.

We may never see eye to eye but that won’t stop me from sending you prayers,

wishing you well, and loving you for the soul you are here on earth.

We are all here on a cosmic journey.  We’ve traveled far and wide together.

Our geography is different.  Our lives share no comparisons.

Our paths have alternate endings.  Our stories might never intertwine.

But, why complicate things with boundaries, lines of prejudice and bigotry?

The only reason we are here is to learn, experience and love. 

So, I refuse to fail this test.

Want to know the secret of my journey?

It’s you,

her,

him,

and them.  We are all in this together.

Thank you.  Thank you for allowing me to be part of your life

even if it’s with a glance, a word, or in joining our biographies.

My life is not the same without you.