Release it to the Cosmos

(Google image since I could not take a picture of the man.)

This morning on my way to take the kids to camp, I watched a young man, half-naked, on the side of the interstate yelling at the trees and sky. It was right before 7AM. My windows were down and as I passed him I heard, “F*cK You!” as his fists were pointing upward.

I had this sensation of stopping, but I had the kids. And I am not part of this man’s story. A piece of me marveled at the ability to shout out to the Heavens, that raw vulnerability (even if he was strung out on something) to say exactly what he was feeling.

Most of us don’t.

We bury the pain or the anger. We bulldoze over it. We expect things will change and get angry when they don’t. We demand, beg, plead and complain about it.

Whenever I’ve had enough, I climb the tallest mountain around here early enough not to bump into anyone. When I get to the top, I sit on the largest boulder. The cows on that field surround me. Then I yell to the top of my lungs. I don’t stop till I feel the energy move through me. I sit for a bit. I may cry. I may write. I may just close my eyes and allow the sensations of nature embody me. I become still, smelling the earth, tasting the wind, hearing my heart beat.

I watched this man today and recognized it is time for another trip up the mountain. Those releases are powerful. I had a special pillow for one of my children when she was small so that she could hit it and yell. It was just a way for her to stabilize her little emotional body. Sometimes it was exactly what she needed. Other times it made it worst. We always found a happy medium.

This man needed this today. He had enough (or not enough). Who knows!

Today, allow yourself to feel what needs to move through you. Lock yourself in the car and yell. Scream in a pillow. Allow the energy to move through you and don’t filter it, avoid it, or reject it. Our bodies are transitioning with all the collective madness. If you can’t give yourself permission to let it out, your physical body begins to absorb it all in toxic ways. Self-care is also about releasing the things that haunt you.

I love you! Go love yourself as well!

Millie

We are Growing

We are a funny race! We only seem to grow through shit. We expand and push ourselves when we have learned some powerful crappy lessons. We are wild flowers being pushed from the toxic waste into the light. You aren’t alone on this journey. I have been in the pits of toxicity for a while. We are blossoming from all the past challenges that got us there. Let’s shine! This shi(f)t is needed in order to raise the frequency of this planet.

Mucho love to you…Millie

Lean into the Knowings

Your ability to connect to Source is a gift. We all have that ability. We are spiritual beings having human experiences. It is all embedded in our DNA. Some people have that ability louder than others. Others tune into it and strengthen the abilities by consciously working at expanding the gifts. I hear people say, “Nope, I don’t have that!”


Do you think of a song right before it comes on the radio?
Do you think of someone and they call you?
Have you thought about something and moments later it shows up?
Every single day you are being guided by your intuition without your awareness!


You may not call it “intuition.” You may just have a “gut” feeling. Our solar plexus (the gut) stores all our divine knowings. We are moved through gut in deciding things. 


The thing that blocks our abilities to connect with Spirit/Source/God is old beliefs/programming. Whenever we get out of our own way, we begin to tap into the realm of consciousness. The ego is a fantastic source for making sure we don’t deviate from our humanness. Its main job is to keep us safe. And, it also reinforces all the belief systems you have known for most of your life. Ego loves to tap into the emotional body. Intuition is the higher consciousness of the vessel you call “the body.”


I have been having these major expansions the last few months. Sometimes I am awakened in the middle of the night with clarity beyond any other time in my life. Like I feel this incredible connection to everything. Then I go back to sleep and in the morning my little itty-bitty ego starts to argue with the messages I received. These days I am gentler with trying to shut ego up. I recognize I need to just sit me down and allow for the uncertainties, traumas, and whatever humanness comes up. Once I address Ego with love, the spiritual part of me flourishes. I rely on the knowing rather than the chit-chat of the emotional body. 


Are you experiencing these shifts? I hear from so many that they are going through all these moments that feel like massive timeline shifts. You are not alone. I promise. We are living in the most incredible times in history. And because of these, you may feel isolated and alone. That, my darlings, is Ego. Lean into your knowing.

I love you!

Millie

The Joys of Mamahood

These two little ones are like magnets. They cannot be apart from each other too long. They fight, argue, and then have to crawl up next to each other. Their beginnings weren’t easy. Kali Rose, was my daughter’s first born. My ex and I took her in when she was only 5 months old. My daughter came into my life from Romania when she was 9 years old. She is mentally unable to take care of herself, let alone a child. Luke was her second child. He is 3 years younger than Kali Rose.

It took us four years to finalize his adoption. He was with his bio-mom for 10 months of his life. It was not a pretty or easy story… one that I can’t share without my heart breaking into tiny pieces. He is healthy and happy and one of the most forgiving souls I’ve ever encountered in my life.

My daughter has had two other babies who are now loved by forever-adopted families.

I may know a little bit about being a mother… of 8 kiddos. I have learned that patience is the essence of relating to our children. That humor can change a room full of kids. That love is the bare necessities of their development. And, that somedays are hard and full of challenges and things can shift in a minute. All of it passes in the blink of an eye.

I don’t know if I am a good mother or not. It’s not for me to decide. Some of my kids will say I am. Others, not so much. And we all have our stories.

I have been brought into this world to mother, not just my children, but myself and others. It’s in the past few years that I have learned to mother me in places that I neglected.

I miss my mother on holidays like today. She was a hard woman, and she was soft. She was courageous, and she was fearless. She taught me the things I wouldn’t do to my children from what she did to me. My mother was a warrior and an incredible powerful example of strength in my life. There was an unstoppable force in her that dictated everything and everyone around her. Her perseverance was definitely passed onto my genes. When I began to adopt children she was not happy to say the least. She judged my choices terribly. And, as most people who cannot accept their own choices, she lashed out at every decision I made with my children. However, she did love them in her own way.

Mothering my kiddos has been the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life. Even on the days that I am exhausted, hurt, and have no clue what to do, I find myself laughing and crying simultaneously.

What makes a mother a good one?

Your ability to transcend all the hardships and turn them into lessons. Your ability to forget quickly and forgive deeply. Letting go is the secret to this profession. If you hold on too tight you lose your grip.

I used to compare myself to the perfect PTA mothers at their school when my children were little. I could barely get all six out of the house and when I would drop them off at school I would judge myself based on how the mothers all looked. My kids were dressed, clean but sometimes (okay maybe a lot) disheveled. They were loved deeply. They knew it and felt it.

Today, on Mother’s Day, I hope you remember to mother YOU. Recall those moments you thought would last forever and you made it. You have done your job. I also want to honor those who aren’t mothers of little people but animals. Others who have chosen to mother the world with their love and presence. I believe there are fathers out there mothering the hell out of their children alone. My hat goes off to all of you. Every single person in this world has the ability to mother the world.

I love you… love yourself with the same fierce intensity you give to others, including your children.

Millie

The pics below are from our day exploring yesterday:

Moving through Spiritual Wisdom

There is a massive amount of energy being experienced by many right now. We are leaving the old and merging into a newness that has only been in dreams. We are manifesting quicker, setting deep intentions, watching them unfold. It’s incredible all the things I have witnessed in the past week, with clients and alone.

The time is now. Put it out there. Follow your dreams and desires. No more time wasted on waiting. You get to shift the obstacles and move into your knowing… your spiritual wisdom.

I love you…Millie

Inexplicable Sorrow in Letting Go


One of my cousins transitioned two days ago. She was 43 years old. She was sick since she was born. Truth be told, she was a firecracker. Her hair was dyed bright red for decades. We all knew her as a firecracker. When I heard the news, it hit me like a cold glass of water thrown in my face. Even though we hadn’t spoken for a while, and we were expecting her departure, the awareness of it sat in me deeply.

I have always thought of death as going from one door into another. I experienced it more than once through near-death experiences. I feel and believe she’s now in a place of peace and love. This doesn’t diminish the loss and sorrow. The grief will continue to reside for however long it needs to. We exist with an expiration date that only God knows. Every second here is on borrowed time.

As I was gathering my feelings early in the morning, trying to get kids dressed for school, I read an email from a dear friend about her son being in the hospital, also ready to departure this world. He and I spoke often. We talked about the esoteric world, shared experiences, and just had massive belly laughs. Sometimes through texts we could spend hours exploring the metaphysical world. We would joke about playing on the outer realms and dancing at night. He is very magical on so many levels.

The kicker for me was that my cousin and him were born two days apart in February on the same year. I spent the morning in the ICU visiting him yesterday. I asked him if there was anything I could do for him. His answer took me aback, “Yes, but you won’t like it.”

Our thoughts merged together at that moment. We can always read each other’s thoughts. I knew he wanted me to help him find peace.

He is tired. And seeing him in that condition, his organs shutting down, I was beyond exhausted. He was in and out of consciousness. I held his hand and did energy work on him.

Letting some go is inexplicable hard shit! He can see the spirit world as clearly as I can. And he kept pointing to those in front of his bed. I smiled and told him I knew. He knows they are flight attendants there to take him.

Death is the ending of one journey and the beginning of another. It is hard for those we leave behind. The fear, for the most part, is leaving loved ones. The other hesitation is not knowing where you go afterwards.

If you are losing someone, or lost someone recently, I am holding you tightly. These times seem to be grabbing on to so many who can’t deal with the intensity of the energies. Plus, when it is your time there is no stopping it.

I spent time sharing the news about our cousin with my older children who loved her. Each conversation kept fracturing my heart. They grew up with all her mischievous pranks. I know she is finally smiling from heaven and dancing the angel’s salsa and meringue.

I love you. Prayers to you and yours.

Millie

Searching for the Rainbow


Life will present the utmost challenging lessons at a time when they feel the most intense. In that intensity the wholeness of essence and body integrate to conjure up the understanding. This can arrive through illness, loss, difficult decisions and challenges, matters of the heart, and so on. There is no such thing as degrees of classifications. There is no way to measure these lessons against another. These are moments you step back and wonder, “Why? Why is this happening right now? I thought I was advancing. I thought I had learned this particular subject and lesson in the past.” And, this is exactly the moment that God shows grace, love, and the ability to strengthen the very core of you. This is the moment you feel life running through your veins and pumping blood into your heart. It is then that just breathing becomes an adventure.


Decisions are the stepping stones to the journey in a lifetime. Do I go this way or that way? Do I go straight and make my own path where I don’t see one? I am learning every day that the only way to travel is through faith. There is a higher purpose to the soul’s calling. The higher you advance on the spiritual journey the more difficult and challenging the lessons seem to become. No one said that walking on faith is easy. Walking on ego is a cinch, but this walk of not knowing, surrendering and trusting through Divinity is never without heavy struggles.


I believe in justice. I believe in good. My ex-husband used to complain to me all the time, “You believe in rainbows, fairy tales, unicorns and happy endings. Life isn’t like that. It’s f*cking brutal and unfair. Stop living in La-La Land.” I disagree wholeheartedly! I believe we are brought to the edges of decisions and struggles to find that love conquers everything. It isn’t how fast you get to the top but how you handle getting there. I believe everything has a reason, even when we don’t see it. Nothing happens without leaving a footprint of knowledge. We are archaeologists searching for what the past has taught us in order to move into the future. We have a choice to look for the rainbows and butterflies or the shitstorm. We were taught to believe that if there is no struggle, there is little progress. So, when things happen that rattle the very core of my existence, I know there is HUGE blessing ahead. I may not be able to see the complete rainbow but I see the light moving through the clouds.


And perhaps we aren’t meant to struggle. I often think it is an old program instilled in our little heads from early on. What if we were raised to believe anything and everything is possible? That life isn’t hard? That we can accomplish anything without obstacles? It’s all a reframing of beliefs and letting go of old paradigms.


I wish for you the chance to look at your challenges and face them with faith, beauty and love. Ask the questions that the soul yearns for you to acknowledge and learn. It is there that the answer light the path to the journey. Keep searching for the silver linings and rainbows…always. Ahhhh, what a beautiful journey we can choose to take!

I love you,

Millie

for more of my spiritual writings please visit my other site: https://www.sacredjourneyinward.com/blog

Be Kind to You

Be soft with your spirit. Be gentle with your essence. Rid yourself from the negative self-talk. You become everything you say that you are or that you are not. We are born every day, every minute, every second. We are here on borrowed time. Make it lovingly serene with your heart so that you can present your soul lovingly to another. This struggle is all bullshit at the end of the day. It doesn’t matter what you did or haven’t done. This moment, wasted reading this, or contemplating what hasn’t been scratched off your To-Do List is all irrelevant.


I have spent so much time of my life punishing myself for not being one way or another, for not fitting in, for not being enough. And for what? I came here to live not sabotage myself. No one can ever be harder on me than myself. I will be 54 years old this weekend. I earned every one of those gray hairs, wrinkles and life experiences. I have loved, lost, rejoiced, and grown. I have earned a massive medal of honor for surviving. You too! We all have. This second part of my life is about truly embracing me. I am softer and kinder with the totality of my life and those around me. I have finally reached a point of acceptance.


Love is all we are here to do. Hold a friend’s hand in need. Hug your lover as if it was the last time. Kiss those kids tightly. Smile at a stranger. Open doors for an elderly person. Compliment a cashier. Delete the toxic folks out of your life. If they don’t raise you then they have taught you something. It’s time to move on. Use your energy wisely. My God, just get out of your head and lovingly give to another who needs to feel that the illusion of loneliness is not drowning their existence. It matters. It all matters to that one human who is struggling with life. Stop the craziness of self-doubt and anxiety because there is no way you leave this life alive. So… live for yourself with honor, love, and compassion. You don’t own this blue planet alone. I am here. You are here. Let’s be here together in peace and harmony. We got this!

I love you dearly,

Millie