Yesterday, over a cup of coffee, I sat across from one of my dearest friends. We shared the events of the past week, caught up on holiday stories and then got real. I have some amazing friends. I can get real really fast when it is triggered with some loving pushiness. The charade comes off, throwing that mask away so I can be vulnerable. This particular friend is a mirror. I see in her all that I am. We reflect one another in many levels, especially emotional and spiritual stuff. She gets the good, bad, pretty and ugly of me…and still manages to love me whole.
I sat there letting go of tears. I told her I was ready for change. I feel 2017 is going to catapult me into many amazing experiences. I have witnessed some intense awakenings lately, even shedding old belief patterns. I expressed how sad it made me that people believed things that weren’t true. I have held myself up as someone who is not pretentious or fake. She immediately said, “Buttercup, people like the Jerry Springer version. They love that drama. They can’t handle the simple truth because that’s boring. They have to make it into trashy-over-the-top crap. That’s what sells. And, anyone who matters will not buy into that cheap Springer nonsense. So there!”
So there! There in those words lies love and truth.
It’s amazing how important it is for me to visually see that frame with Springer retelling crap. This woman has a gift for framing things in just the perfect size and order. I love that about her. And, it’s unfortunately true: the Jerry Springer version of anything is what keeps society going. Most people take it as real and don’t bother to research the truth. They want things handed to them, especially gossip filled with shame and wrongness. Cause, let’s face it, who wants to truly dig and find out another version when the fake one instills fear and disappointments. The Springer show is entertaining. Anything else won’t be. Anything uplifting won’t sell the amount of tickets or have an audience.
And, that’s where we are in our world. We take things to heart by hearing them from wrong sources. Our lives have become a constant old game of telephone cups…repeating a story into a cup held by strings and by the time it makes it to the last person the story has changed dramatically into something ridiculous and unacceptable. But, many buy into it. They want to hear that version. They want to be disgusted and judge and feel another soul’s failures. They want to know that they are human with a tremendous amount of flaws. Those who are awake and empathetic will never buy into this…but for the rest of them, it is what it is.
The division is expanding between what is real and what is fabricated. We are seeing more and more the appalling circumstances of gossip, false media, and created stories that start with small insignificance and end in catastrophic mayhem. We are experiencing a massive shift in consciousness that is reaching out and clearing old paradigms. Can you feel it? Can you understand that you are in the midst of some powerful changes ahead? Are you willing to let go of those things and folks that no longer serve your highest calling and purpose? It’s time, darlings!
Be careful who you share your stories with. Be cautious of their output and how they may be turned into some sensational Jerry Springer segment for others to judge and send negativity back to you. You deserve to live in your authentic power with integrity and never allow another to take that power by twisting your truth. It’s important to surround yourself with those who want your best interest at heart. You owe no one an explanation for your life. You also should not have to fight to make those believe if they don’t care to stand in your light. The world is a sports arena and we are all spectators. Pick those who follow your team. They will always know your character.
Sending love to all.
Make time to play and find joy in your life. You have 365 days in a year. There are 8,760 hours in that year. You mean to tell me that you cannot take 52 hours (1 hour a week) to do something special for yourself? Let’s say that you sleep 8 hours a night. That’s 2,920 hours you spend in bed. Let’s say you work, or are busy with tremendous responsibilities, for 55 hours a week which would be 2,860 a year. That still leaves you with 2,980 hours left to do things. Keep breaking it down. If you can find the time to surf the web, gossip, complain, and watch television, you surely can find time to chase a sunrise, hike, meditate, or just be in silence. You can surely find time to write, create, and nourish your soul. We give and make time to the things we focus on. You have the ability in one year to transform your life. To say you “have no time” is a neglecting your soul’s yearnings. To give excuses for poor time management is an injustice to your greatness. In essence you are not stealing an hour from any place to pamper yourself. You are recreating and modifying the programming of being too busy. It’s all an illusion. Make time for you. Carve space for your spirit to remember why it’s here on this life. You get to change what you want and who you want to become by changing your attitude. Be inJOY. Be in love. Be who you are meant to be…no more excuses.
I sat drinking coffee alone in the hotel lobby Sunday morning waiting for Matt to finish getting dress. A man about my age says, “Hello!” I look up and return it with a smile. He grabs a cup of coffee as I continue to read my book. He asks, “Rough night?” I answer, “Excuse me? I am on my honeymoon… I had a fabulous night.”
“Oh, congratulations…because of all the glitter in your hair I thought you had been partying.” He says pointing at my head.
“Nah…that’s been there for a while.”
“You have tinsel in your hair and it’s been there for a while?” He asks a bit confused.
“Yeah, it’s fairy hair.”
“What? Fairy hair? But your hair has a lot of other colors too.” He gets closer and sees the blue…
“Are you a hairdresser?”
“Nope…just love my hair to be lively like my personality.”
“Why?” he asks confuse.
This took him aback.
He kept on walking to get food and returned. “Yes, why not? Why are we so rigid, right? Why do we complicate things? I’ve never seen anyone with fairy hair. You are unique, huh?”
I smile without moving from my seat, still holding the book in my hands. “Why NOT are powerful words. They are filled with endless possibilities, not just for hair color or fairy tinsel…but for everything.”
He steps back, smiles…then laughs and thanks me. He leaves with his three kids back up to the elevator. I continue to remember the many “why not’s” that have changed my life. I reminisce over the thousands of choices that those two words have catapult me into new adventures.
We live in a society stuck on perceptions and ideas of what is expected to fit in. When you meet someone who isn’t conforming to the “normal standards” there is immediate judgment. Judgment cannot exist if there is compassion. All it takes is one person to be kind in the midst of a moment of a possible critique. It’s that simple. With a kind smile and a “why not” we say yes to all that the world is used to saying no to….and that’s all that we can give another. Each person is filled with a million “why not’s” that can transform a day, a year and a lifetime. Try it! It’s liberating….!
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”-James Baldwin
Most recently, I have had to face a reoccurring actor in my play. I believe each of our lives is a stage play. I am the play writer, the protagonist, the director and the story. Those who come in and out are actors playing a specific role in my drama. Because I am now in a place of joy, I only write comedies. So, when a specific role enters my play for audition which hasbeen cancelled for a while, I am taken aback. It’s humorous to watch the same role of manipulator-punisher-narcissist man, played by a different actor, try to bully his way into my play. And no matter how I explain to this actor that the role has been canned he will take it upon himself to continue to antagonist me. We all know actors, they are very persistent!
It isn’t until we face that role, the archetype, that we can make peace with it. Nothing can continue less we shut down production and rewrite the script to suit our new lives. Each stage is different, with a multitude of entrances and exits. Each character brings something to the play. But until we are prepared to cancel the roles that hurt us, they will continue to enter the playhouse for auditions.
I am blessed to step back (sometimes after a long and challenging period), center myself, and ask Spirit to take care of this particular situation. Once I sit with the story, the performance, and the scenario I can re-adjust my play. May you realize the roles that you draw into your drama and accept them for the diversity and the many lessons. Look at your role in this life and everything you seem to be attracting. Own your performance, your drama, your accountability and your responsibility in every aspect of what happens to you. FACE YOUR TRUTH with compassion and love! DO NOT blame another for what you have clearly and willingly participated in creating. Just step back and stop the madness of production. You got this!
Moments are the connections to life’s journey. They are the process of all there is in some magical dance between synchronicity and love. Each second connects into another. Our own connection pulls and tugs to intertwine with each other. By being aware of each moment we can join, partake, and openly participate in this creation of life. That’s all there is: the taking of good, bad, and surrendering to it all. We co-create the stories while allowing things to come and go, passing through the process of time and space. Afterwards, when the stories are too much, the drama is too stale, and the tragic of not being at peace is maddening, we blame the universal forces for our participation in this co-creation. We detach and close off from the universal element of love.
Love has no judgment, no agenda, no bias, no bigotry…. Love is love without a concrete definition. It lets go of boundaries, walls, and inhibitions. Love is effortless. In relationships it does require work, but it’s just a rhythmic dance of ease and grace. It devours intimacy by accepting and not holding back any of our insecurities. Love doesn’t push. It opens and breathes peace and trust. It is raw and compassionate and all that is of God. Love is accepting of another without judgment of your own self. It brings you into a place of complete surrender. It allows light into the darkest of places.
I have always believed that love is the only emotion we are born with that’s imprinted in our chromosomes. We arrive into this world in love, with love, embraced by the Oneness of the Divine. It is when our environment infuses all the other “learned emotions” that we become distant from the truth of love. We begin to complicate love with our agendas and traumatic experiences of lack. We aren’t good enough. We are not worth enough. We are this and we are that. Those beliefs are intergraded into our own hearts. But truth be known, love doesn’t care. Every other emotion lives in our head. Love is the only one that lives in our heart…in Spirit. Love is the union of mind, body and spirit in a way that contributes to all that the universe has created. Love is about being Divine. With or without another to partake in the journey, the moments of true peace are those when the heart is open and the light of God shines through.
Even while understanding this in theory it is still difficult at times to feel love and compassion for people and things out of our life path. Because we learn by the experiences from our culture, race, and other social or environmental classes, it seems that judgment takes over way before love. I am constantly reminding myself that each person who appears in my life is for me to learn something about love and compassion. It isn’t always easy when others have so much hatred and anger. But, what if being tolerant and patient in the beginning (while interacting with these folks) starts opening their hearts? What if in the presence of those rough exteriors we can shift the energy to allow their sprits to feel the love they came with into this world? What would the world look like if we lowered our shields and began to show the light of Divinity? I believe that one day in the future we will have only one faith, one religion and one path towards unlimited compassion. That day will be when love is all we embody. It is then that we will be one with the Divine. Nothing else will matter because as our famous John sang with openness: “all you need is love…love…love. Love is all you need.”
“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.” – Sophocles
Last night I had a remarkable dream. I dreamed that I was LOVE. I had no body. I was free like the wind without being able to hold on to anything. But, I was LOVE. I had no judgment, intolerance, bigotry, or negativity. I was just LOVE. Every person who came in my proximity felt me, sensed me, but couldn’t explain their openness and divinity that allowed light to penetrate without a single rejection, opinion or heartache. It was just love. Because I was like the wind, they couldn’t hold me. Because I was vastness, they couldn’t contain me. Because I was invisible, they couldn’t judge. I was able to mold into their souls and radiate truth of self-worth, authentic power, and appreciation for humanity. It was mystical. I fit inside every spirit and still had unlimited abundance of love to give. I was endless. I was the energy of the cosmos. And, in a moment of truth…while giving to those who forgot their love, I lost myself and became my human form again. I returned to my body while holding on to a homeless man begging on the corner of a busy street. He and I wept allowing the simple truth of our humanness.
We are forever connected through LOVE. We are divine beings who have forgotten our worth and how much we are affected by each other. In our consciousness we know that love is the origin that seeds us all together, planting hope for our future. But, we have forgotten how to portray this to ourselves. We have become stagnate in thinking that loving ourselves too much is selfish. It’s not. It’s imperative. How can we love another if we don’t value ourselves to the most ultimate level? How can we give if we don’t own it?
Go seek love inside. Go seek love in yourself and truly see the beauty that you are. I love you. I love you. I love you with all that is truth, magical, faithful, and instrumental to your existence. Know your worth! You are powerful. We are connected through this lifeline of goodness. Remember! Don’t run away from it. Embrace it…and return to LOVE! Most people close up because they’ve been hurt. The hurt comes from expectations. But, when you truly love another you have no expectations. You accept their greatness and those things that do not resonate in you. We learn from these challenges. The thought that you are alone is an erroneous perspective. It’s an illusion. Breathe and feel your heart expand and connect to all there is. You are the ALL! Together we are ONENESS!
Last night, sometime after midnight, I had a strange dream. I was standing on our dock overlooking the pond on a sunny mountain day. A man, looking very much like Morpheus from The Matrix, appeared next to me. He and I stood side by side and he said, “This is all an illusion. Remember!”
I looked at him and said, “I like this illusion then. It suits me well.”
He motioned his hand in front of me over the gorgeous scenery and within seconds, like removing a fog, the scene disappeared and there was darkness and stars. We were in the galaxy. We were the stars.
I said to him, “I want it back the way it was.”
He answered, “But this is the truth. You belong to the stars. Once you are awake you can’t undo what you already know.”
I woke with a sense of clarity and disorientation. I didn’t know what day it was, where I had been, what time of the night or who I was at that very moment. It took several moments of stressing consciousness to react to this reality and the darkness of my room. I tried to remember the rest of the journey in that dream state but I couldn’t.
Guidance appears in many forms. I seem to be getting these visitations more frequently. Life is an illusion and it requires a shift in perception and consciousness to truly see all that the veil hides from us. Open your eyes…all of them… and truly witness the everything of what we are together. We are made up of infinite stars and galaxies. We are in the matrix of control and what we have been made to believe through a default program. Question everything that doesn’t feel right. Remember!!! Try to recall who you were before the world told you how you should be and made you into this person. Find your truth, your authentic power and live free. This is all an illusion of choice. Remember!!!
I love you. I love you. I love you. You are definitely not alone in this wilderness of the unknown. Touch your heart. God is there. Feel your heartbeat. The Divine is pumping through your veins. Be courageous!
We die a little every day. We are born into a journey of endings. Things begin and end. We don’t know the day we are to transcend or leave this place. Our existence is not written with a known expiration date. I have a HUGE issue when doctors tell a patient, “You have two months to live. You have an X amount of time.” This act stops the person from living. It stops becoming about life and all about dying.
A friend of ours was here for a few days. He has cancer. He’s dying. He knows it and so does everyone else. I am dying as well. I might have a day or I can live 40 more years. I have no clue when it will happen. I am not focusing on that last moment. I am living to the best of my ability with the days I get gifted every morning. But, seeing him living fully these past few days…well, a part of me struggles to accept that he has days counted for because of a disease. He’s healthy. He is brilliant. He is tenacious and hysterical and is living on his terms. I admire him to a degree that I didn’t know possible. He isn’t just existing waiting on a deadline. He is moving through these days waiting on the gift of miracles surrounded by love. Ultimate time tells everything. And time, my friends, is also our ally when it comes to truly accepting and letting go!
Somehow we get so focused on the end. We forget that every second is a new beginning. We try to control our lives and others fearing the moment we are to die. I am not afraid of dying. I am afraid of not living fully. I am frightened of not sucking the joy out of this journey because of a bad day or situation. I am terribly mortified by the thought of taking another day for granted because of obstacles. I want to live. I want to live like I haven’t wanted to live before. I want to meet like-minded people with laughter and intelligence. I want to hear their stories. I crave to touch and love and dive into their journey. We connect this way. So…NO…I am not afraid of physical death. I am, however, consciously aware that I forget to live every second to the fullest. I forget to breathe and let go at times. I allow my humanness to take over and I get angry for a moment. This passes. And, when it does I recall lying on a hospital and returning from my own short death to find that life is precious. What a gift! What a magnificent ride!
We entertain anxiety because of fear. We fear because of not being able to control. We control because we have been taught that we have a say. We have a say because we are programmed to believe that the ego can actually fix things. In the end it’s all a lie. We can’t control anything. The illusion of life is based on internal experiences of the outer world. Our perceptions guide us and in moments make us very ill. We have no say or control. All we can do is travel with our heads up, love, laugh and truly learn to live. We are not merely existing. We are surviving all that is thrown our way and we should be spiritually evolving because of everything that we experience on the path of life.
My friend is dying. His presence allowed me to stand back and watch grace and how it looks to know that there might not be a tomorrow. He is doing it with love, laughter and faith. The shock of his illness allowed ego to die first. Now, it’s just a matter of releasing all control and moving through moments with acceptance. We can all learn from the ones whose days are expiring through illness. He might have days or years. His timing is in the hands of God. These folks who have so much to conquer become our biggest teachers. Mine left a few hours ago and I will forever be grateful for his time. I love you, Dun. Thank you! Until we meet again…soon!