Sadness

Sadness doesn’t always look like despair.
Grief doesn’t always look like sorrow.
Mourning doesn’t always release tears.
Sometimes it looks like isolation or withdrawal.
It can look like sarcasm and anger.
It may appear like everything is fine.
Other times it shows up like silence with a broken smile.
It can hide itself in a bed with lights out or through addiction.

Be kind. You never know what another soul is experiencing. We have been taught in society to wear masks … way before this pandemic. It has been ingrained in us. Our job is to love and accept others without immediate judgment.

Shifting Awareness

It’s time to shift your awareness and perspective. It’s time to truly be the most amazing version of yourself. The world needs it. It needs you to heal and help others heal. We are being asked right now to do so.

To blame others for my full participation in the drama is moronic. I cannot blame someone for me staying in a toxic relationship. I can blame my inability to move away from the fear and manipulation from that person while giving away my power. But he or she were not holding me captive. My perspective of the obstacle was my enemy.

I cannot blame someone else for screwing me up in business. I participated knowing that person’s character. But I did it anyway.

Most of the obstacles, events, and experiences that we believe are happening to us (while in victim mode) are actually happening through us.

Read that again if you can’t grasp it!

You have created a life that is comfortable even in the discomfort. You know it fully. You might hate it. You might be stuck in the past beating yourself up for mistakes and then taking it out on the world. You continue to blame everyone around you. But I can assure you that when you spiritually connect to your truth you will figure out that no one is to blame for many of the things you endure. Your past determines a lot of your future choices so be mindful of the journey. You get a tremendous opportunity, daily, to shift gears and make something out of your life.

Have courage. Rise above the victim mentality into something that teaches you invaluable experiences.

And yes, there are cases of abuse and violence that you didn’t ask for, or consciously attracted. There are diseases and so much that we don’t get a say on. There is still bad in the world.

We have duality in our lives. We move through the dark into light a million times. We get to choose how, when, and where.

Blaming everyone else for not having the right job, or being in a shitty relationship, or not having enough money is truly inexcusable. Pointing fingers at everyone else instead of moving inward and finding the answers is pure avoidance.

Your stories are your biggest motivators and inspirations. Learn how strong you are. Accept how magnificently you create life around you.

You have the power to change your circumstances one step at a time. When you leave the victim mentality you will begin to take control of your life. Trust in your capacity to manifest. Believe in your innate and divine ability to set healthy boundaries. Most of us were not taught this early on. It’s all about reprogramming your wiring.

Show up. Keep going. Manifest your desires. If you feel you have fallen take a breather and get back up again… and again. You are in control of your thoughts and actions. Start to shift into a higher vibrational frequency. The planet is pushing everyone of us to do so.

You’ve got this! WE got this!

Opinions and Expectations

We judge (and criticize) based on our experiences. If someone is not the same religion, or political party, or looks and acts the same as you then there is a lack of them filling your expectations. The speculations arise from the difference. There is fear at times of the unknown and lack of understanding. The insecurities may rise to the top of the list.

If you are too lovey dovey you are too needy.
If you are too positive you are bypassing all human experiences.
If you use crystals and burn sage you are not Christian because you are a witch.
If you cuss you are a bad uneducated person.
If you are too trusting you are naive and gullible.
If you share too much spiritual stuff you are a fake wanna-be guru.
If you speak your truth you are arrogant and a know-it-all.
If you don’t participate in every argument you are weak and afraid to stand up for yourself.
If you have a sarcastic sense of humor you are hiding major trauma.
If you let your kids watch too much television you are an uncaring parent.
If you send love and light to the world you are a new-agey hippie.
If you aren’t fighting for a cause you may be a closet racist.
If you are overweight you have low self esteem.

I am certain you can add to the list. If you do anything that is outside of other people’s perspectives there will be judgment.

You can only meet someone at the level of their awareness and experiences. Your opinion of me and others is based on your expectations. When those expectations aren’t met you immediately judge.

Guess what fixes that?
Getting rid of your expectations and accepting others as imperfect and learning from their diversities. We are all truly trying to walk each other home. All day. Every day.

Guess what else alters this state of speculations?
Loving folks as they are. Meeting people where they are emotionally, physically and spiritually. We need more open-minded-closed-mouth souls on this planet. We don’t need categorizing anyone. Not hurting them because they are different. Not using past experiences as markers for all future events. Forgiving and letting go of shit are imperative at this time.

IT IS TIME TO COME TOGETHER AND NOT TEAR EACH OTHER APART. Who the hell left anyone in charged of this planet that we are fighting for freaking rights that shouldn’t even be questioned? We are all of the human race.

We are living in the most intense times of our lives as the massive collective consciousness shift is happening. Most traumas and triggers are coming up because it’s time to release them. We are healing. We are shedding old beliefs. If you can’t handle those issues with the people you love then it’s time to truly reconsider your relationships. Love means loving the entirety of a person, not choosing and picking the parts that align with yours.

Be gentle, darlings! There is so much anger out there and it’s shocking to our systems. My heart is cracked open. I am feeling it deeply. I love you.

Be the love

Good morning sweet souls! I woke this morning with a full heart after actually sleeping a full night. Sleep is underrated, I tell you.

We continue to move through defining moments in humanity. Whether your beliefs are different, or your moral ideas are not in agreement, we can honestly say that love is something that changes the world. I am quite often perplexed by the few who truly don’t understand that we are of Oneness in this planet. Our lessons are about learning soul to soul lessons. We can always input religion and politics in all arguments but the truth is that we are made from love to love another. No one should tell us who we can love. No one should tell us how to live either. But we must be open minded and open hearted with one another. It is in our diversities that we truly shine.

I see all souls embodied and dressed as characters in this life. We have costumes. We play our parts. And, like all great plays there must be two sides: the protagonist and the antagonist. It’s part of our duality. At the end of the day it shouldn’t matter what we believe is right or wrong. What should matter is that we walk this life with an open understanding of love and compassion.

The indifference of mind and thoughts push and teach us. We expand consciousness with new thoughts and get to pick and choose how we evolve spiritually in this life. So…I ask…because it saddens me to see such separation and division, and I witness it constantly through small conversations, reading, and overhearing: please pick love regardless of what you believe. We are love. The Divine provided us with this imminent force of nature that allows us to care for another outside of ourselves.

Don’t discriminate. Don’t judge without truly walking the walk. We are together in this race called the human race (at this time in a flipping marathon killing each other to get to some imaginary end line). Let’s make it a special one.

I love you. I love you. I love you regardless of our differences and opinions. Allow your humanity to come through and accept another without so much anger and hatred. That’s not very spiritual or Godlike. It’s yucky and unnatural and tarnishes character! It shows the world that you’ve been hiding behind a mask and now all bets are off. We can agree to disagree because that’s our part in this play. But, BE the love that put you here to be.

Have a blessed day and embrace this new massive conscious shi(f)t happening. It’s been a long time coming! It is exciting to witness the evolution of the planet going on right now. Let your epiphanies shift you into something more!!! 💕💜😘

Rebellious at Heart

I have a rebellious nature… at times. I’ve tamed it in the last few years. I am stubborn (to a fault) and I don’t give up easily on the things that make my soul expand. My tenacity has helped me build many lives in this one. It has also cost me heartache at times because I stick to what I believe. When I do give up it is because I’ve lost interest in chasing what didn’t deserve me or barricaded me along the way. When I surrender it is because I have felt the universe tell me to stop, usually because my physical body has been affected.

I suspect I will be that old lady in the future that at family gatherings will say shocking things. I may share way too much about things I’ve kept for myself. I may be interrupted or taken out of the room while pushing a walker cursing up a storm. I know I’ll love hard, and loudly, even if I get angry. I will use my rebellion to fight for those I love forever. I will fight for what I believe… including the underdogs, misfits and those who have lost their way. I will continue to remind them of their light even when mine may be flickering and dimming.

When I leave this earth my children will remember my sarcasm and the way I loved them without an ounce of indifference. They will remember my twisted sense of humor and laugh out loud.

I can still climb a fence. A very, very, short one. I may hurt myself but I will give it my all. What I will never ever get hurt climbing is loving another even when it’s not reciprocated. I will never get hurt climbing the mountain of goals and dreams. I will never get hurt climbing my way through this moment in history because I believe there is magic on the other side.

A Mama’s Heart

Our 3 y/o started daycare again today after a three month hiatus. He was as happy to see his school as I was in dropping him off to exhaust his energy. I came home with our 6 y/o to tear my house apart and deep clean it. In the midst of moving furniture and vacuuming I lost my emotions.

I don’t know where they came from. My oldest son and his girl will return home to New York tomorrow and the future emptiness engulfed me. I got him for three months. The first time in over ten years that we had that much quality time together.

So I stopped stripping the living room. I stopped picking up God-knows-how-old cereal from under the sofa. I stopped and allowed for my heart to stop racing.

Today is gloomy outside and inside of me. I thought I would be okay. But, I may not be. It will be a hard mama week. I will return to putting my business back out there. I will find some kind of stability. But the last three months have been (sigh) full of chaos and so many gifts.

I lost myself in the days. I lost myself in little ones. I lost myself in the yard. I lost myself in motherhood. I also found myself in all those things. I returned to a life of what I do best: mother all those around me.

I’m ready for the world to also find itself. For the peace to arrive. For the love to engulf us all. I recognize the shift and how it is well overdue. But, shit, it has been brutal! I recognize now that I have been battling deep state of sadness, perhaps a little bit of depression. Had I not had two little ones I am sure I would have lost myself way down the dark night of the soul.

We all need to be seen, felt, acknowledged and loved. We want to feel connections. And for me that has been the hardest part of the isolation…. Not being able to touch another has been a major test.

I have felt my tribe. I see the world now in a different light when I share openly. I have witnessed who is here and who is elsewhere. The division in our humanity has grown existentially.

I’m hoping the muck in collective consciousness is about finished with this cycle. It hasn’t just been the virus but the anger and hatred that has been unleashed in humanity. I pray we proceed with loving louder in order to heal. I’m ready for the next phase.

Sending love to you today. Be gentle as things are proceeding and evolving. Know your worth and your truth. Remember what you believe is yours but don’t try to push it on anyone else. Holding you from here energetically as I proceed with cleaning some weird stains that are unrecognizable from the carpet. Hugs.

Musical Chairs

Several years ago when I was in the social work field I had a conversation with a co-worker and she shared a story about one of her clients who recently departed our world. We were talking about doing volunteer hospice work if we had money to spare. I told her I was fascinated by the end of life and folks transitioning, especially those who are ready. And for those who struggled, they allowed me to just sit in sacred space and hold their hands. These were precious and priceless moments in my life.

She said one day she went to visit her client and she asked her how she was handling her ending?
Her sweet elderly woman, who had been a missionary for many years, a woman of huge amount of faith, said…“I’m moving from one chair to another. Is that not okay?”

I stared at my co-worker. My eyes began to water. That was such an insightful and beautiful analogy of end-of-life transition. I got chills. From that statement I knew she was a woman who had lived with grace.

I feel life is like that: moving from chair to chair trying to find the most comfortable one.

It takes pure divine “knowing” to accept all of it. It’s in the simple awareness that we are just moving from one form of matter into another.

The joy of life is to continue moving from chair to chair while finding the magic of what it holds for our spirit. The trick is finding the greatest chair while playing music and enjoying it as long as possible in complete love and acceptance with a lovely view.

A Sage and a Lesson

There is a story about a woman who travels a great distance with her son to meet a sage. After an entire day traveling by foot she sees the sage. “I need you to tell my son he cannot have sweets. It makes him sick.”

The sage said to her, “Okay, come back in a week!”

The woman left disturbed, perplexed and angry. She took her son and returned to her village. And even though livid she made the trekking back to see the sage a week later.

When the sage saw her son he immediately said, “Stop eating anything with sugar. Not good for you! Listen to your mother.”

The woman shook her head angrier than a hungry bear waking from hibernation and asked, “Why couldn’t you have done that last week? I travelled so far….”

The sage looked at her and said, “First I had to experience it myself.”


I can’t remember who the sage was or where I read this many decades ago but it has always stayed in my little head. We move through our experiences which form our perspectives. If we don’t experience it it is hard sometimes to understand it. But, I don’t always have to experience things to understand them. I can empathize and sympathize and do my part to understand. I try to put myself in the other person’s shoes.

These words here all bring us to peace and human connection. We might not understand each other. Many live in fear of what they don’t understand and cannot find a way to experience it themselves but I do believe love is the answer.

Take all the time you need to take this in but I will say it again: Love is what will heal this planet. And yes, love with action. But ultimately when things are done through love the shift arrives.

I Hold Space

For as long as I can remember I have ached to live or travel to the edge of civilization. I have craved to hear stories told and shared from all corners of the world. I’ve wanted to touch and inhale the essence of humanity, the borders of humanness. I’ve been studying empathy, compassion and what moves us to be who we are. I’ve been fascinated by spiritual and philosophical issues. The irony of this has been that I’ve received more than my share the last few months in isolation. I’ve witnessed the evolution of our civilization in the last week. And I marvel at how much I will learn in the near future.

We’ve gone from witnessing horrible and atrocious deaths of black men to partially opening up a country that’s been affected by a killer virus.

The virus has taken backseat the last few days. It’s become about our constitutional civil rights. The fight has been well overdue. Folks who were locked down for months have taken themselves out there for their rights… because let’s face it, whether it’s a disease/pandemic or racism, there is a virus.

One doesn’t care about your race to kill you. The other is a learned behavior and programming that has been around since the beginning of time.

People are dying. From both. The pandemic has nothing on racism that has been killing and torturing people forever. Racism has used religion and politics as part of its ignorance and fear.

These months have allowed me to truly take my Sunday’s into sacredness. I space out the day in my mind to accommodate God and pray. Even if I’m out with the kids in the yard, I am in my most spiritual presence sending love and healing into the energetic fields. I am mindful and extremely present in my day. I take in the journey from the edges of humanity and really try to breathe love into all the corners.

Today I am empty. I have nothing. I woke not knowing anything while trying to figure out how we will move through the state of our country and the world. I watched some of the protest videos. I ask myself, “What is all of this mounting to? Where will we be in a few weeks? How can we resolve what has been here unjustly forever? What will be on the other side…?”

So for a bit I will just entertain the idea that our lives are massively evolving into something indescribable. We are awakening to a totally different world. We are leveling up as avatars in some cosmic game. Each level gets more complicated and challenging. We will utilize our truths and knowings to move on and evolve. We will heal. We will find a way towards peace. We will rise together from the flames of many injustices. The last few months have had many folks living in fear. That was nothing in comparison to what needs to happen.

Continue keeping your peace. Continue raising your frequency to love and forgiveness. Let’s remain humble. Let’s hold space for others who are experiencing so many emotions at this time. It’s chaotic. It’s intense and we are experiencing new levels of perspectives, awareness, tied to our own individual truths. Sending love to all.

A Great Awakening

I’ve had months of shedding tears … usually at the most importune times. For the longest time my heart has literally ached. The isolation was the beginning of an emotional turmoil. The uncertainties added in not knowing how we would navigate a deadly virus. Then there was the caring for small children without a break. I had to put my goals on hold and I recognize I wasn’t alone. I have mourned it all. And it hasn’t stopped.

I have felt the shifting of global energy during the last three months. I have felt major conscious awakenings in me and others. The woo-wooness has been grand. I have felt intense energy at times foreseeing a major war in each of us. It has been liberating and brutal at once.

We are in the midst of chaos and the tipping scales get determined by how we show up. Every single decision alters our reality.

We must change. We have to rise to a new level of living together without hate, racism, judgment, and apathy. This isn’t new. This is an old paradigm that requires a major overtaking. We are here together in this perfect storm to eradicate this division once and for all.

I have cried. I’ve been sad. I’ve been frustrated. And at times I’ve been angry. I’ve been beside myself while pulling roots from the earth and in myself. All the emotions have triggered other releases. I have been prudent in finding the precious lessons in it all. I feel helpless in my pursuit to show up. But I am here. And I see the break across our land.

I have witnessed the disappointments in others. I am feeling it all through the inconceivable heartache in our country. Being a minority I have lived indifferences and discrimination. I fight it in my own way through love. It’s not that I am a pacifist (or unrealistic) as much as I am a true believer that hate has never won a war over love. Ever. Never.

I don’t care what race you are it is absolutely atrocious to witness the injustice at this time. But I am also giddy at experiencing the expansion of what’s coming. Change is coming. We are no longer going to put up with any of it. It’s taken all these recent human losses for a radical revolution.

But…
We must let go of the fear. We cannot fix a single issue if we move through fear at this moment.

It is time to rise. We are exactly where we are suppose to be. Please use your anger and hurt to fuel this opportunity in a loving and constructive manner. Hatred towards hate will just create a wild fire that cannot be contained.

Let us take these moments for shifting through benevolence, compassion and grace. And, no, sitting here wishing it away won’t do it. Actively participating in educating, interaction, communication and bringing the darkness to light will create a profound ripple effect. It means getting involved with changing laws. It means standing up and using your voice in an intelligent and loving manner.

I see you. I feel you. We can utilize this moment to teach the world how we transform hate through unity as one nation. United we stand, divided we fall.