Faith

Faith is not found when everything is going smoothly. Faith is witnessed when the world collides with chaos and struggles. That’s when we search for her. Often times we are angry because we feel she’s abandoned our space.

Let me share what faith looks like to me. She’s in the nights when you are crying yourself asleep because a loved one is dying near you, or when your wife has decided to walk out of your relationship, or when your child has ended up in jail. She’s in the aches and brokenness of your fears and the disappointments of your expectations. She’s in the desperation and uncertainties of life.

Faith is sitting quietly waiting on you to grab her and shake every cell inside of you to trust and let go of the situation. She is there to take over if you just let go of the control. She’s the light that gives way into darkness.

When your world comes apart and you cannot find reasons to logically make sense of anything… that is when Faith is seen and felt. That’s when she whispers through your personal beliefs, “I’m here. I have something better. I will work on this. Trust!”

Your job is to allow her to step in. But, without controlling the outcome. Without micromanaging every step of the way.

I have met many religious folks who have zero faith. They go to church every week but when their world gets rattled by hard obstacles their faith is completely absent. They live in fear and lack belief.

And then I’ve met some folks who say they don’t believe in anything. When things happen they have found something stronger than themselves to carry them through it. They say they believe in themselves. That’s also Faith.

So what is faith? It’s not religious. It’s a deep spiritual knowing that you are here to learn and evolve. It’s the opportunity to shift awareness and morph into something powerful.


We have all experienced horrific acts in our lives. We have undergone atrocities. We have overcome major obstacles. Some of you are experiencing these things right now.

What keeps you going? What’s the thing or substance that allows you to get up and keep moving through it all? I bet you have some amazing stories to share. And I also bet that Faith has a lot to do with how you overcame those challenges.

I love you!
More than you can imagine, just cause you are here sharing space with me this way. I have faith in YOU!

Millie

Grief, That Old Friend

Grief is inexplicable. It hits at its own timing. And, to be honest, it never goes away. We learn to navigate it. We learn to miss without the intense pain. We learn to live in a different manner.

When I was 23 years old I met a young man my age. We worked in the industrial power transmission field. The first day he came for an interview, right out of college, we shook hands and the electricity that passed through our hands was like nothing else I’ve ever experienced, or have felt since.

Before I could even figure out what was happening we had a tremendous love affair. I was in and out of a relationship with someone much older who was married. This young man and I connected in a way that was out of this world.

At 25 years old, after a long break up because of my other relationship, he asked me to marry him one night. I said yes. That was March 11, 1993. He was dating someone else, and I was still in that relationship. We both broke it off that weekend. On the way back from breaking up with his girlfriend he hit a wall on I95 on March 14th. They found him with a small English/Spanish book in his hands.

This loss shut me down. It took my light with it. It would take years to understand. But, something happened shortly after his death. He began to show up in dreams. I wasn’t as spiritually aware as I am now, but I would feel him all the time.

Whenever I am struggling I find a dime and a penny. $.11 was something we would find together. Those close to me marvel at the fact that this happens often. There will be a dime and then a few inches later, a penny. He has been around for almost 30 years and has guided me in ways I cannot explain.

But grief, that old friend that reminds us of love, can sometimes get the best of us. This morning I opened up my kitchen cabinet to get my coffee mug and in a cup I rarely use was a dime and a penny. I don’t even ask anymore how this happens. Maybe the kids did it long ago. I don’t know. I know I was supposed to find it at 4:44 this morning. That’s how guidance works.

We are always held by deceased loved ones. ALWAYS. I often forget to call out to ancestors. Rarely do I forget to call out for him. He has been my steady companion for decades. And, I know we will one day be reunited.

Your grief is not meant to be suppressed. It isn’t meant to be bulldozed. It’s a reminder that you loved. That you were loved. That you lived. That you had someone who loved you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a parent, a child, a lover, a fur baby, or whatever. Sometimes we mourn places and things.

You are loved. You are here. And, I promise you that you will always come out with grace on the other side.

I love you!
Millie

Erasable – Hard Copy

I am feeling it all at this very moment. My publisher messaged me that the book was in my mailbox since Friday. I ran across the dark street gripping the envelope. Once I opened it… OMGosh.

No other book I’ve written has had such an impact. Nothing else has felt so intense and healing simultaneously.

When my publisher reminded me that it is next week, the 11th, it became even more real. Holding it seems surreal. Twenty years all inside a computer waiting for the perfect timing.

My five year old climbed in bed with me as I was tearing up. He took the book from my hands. “Mommy, you wrote a book.” I said, “I have written several. But this one is about my life.”

He sounds out the title which is a big word for a kindergartener. He starts to tear up. I see the puddles of tears in his green eyes. He hugs me.

“Can you read it to me like a bedtime story?”

“When you get older. It’s a big-people book!”

He smiles while wiping his tears. “You did good, Mommy.”

I read the acknowledgment part to him about all my kids and he smiles and thanks me. Then we lay together. He wanted to go wake his sister up. I told him that I would share with her in the morning.

Sweet tears. Sweet love. I am blessed. Not by anything but the recollection of a well-lived and loved life. His reaction will forever be tattooed in my heart.

I love you all for the constant support and love your give.

Millie

Unhealed People

I spent a large part of my life hiding. Recently, after a healing session with an incredible soul, I recognized the patterns and programming. I shared with an old friend who immediately said, “Oh honey, you’ve been hiding all your life. I’m so sorry!”

Her sorry was genuine and my tears flowed out again. She saw me. Really saw the trail of bullshit left behind by a Narcissistic mother. And I’ve been working on cutting cords for so long. I tend to listen to the voices of the past when I try to lead my children in the now. I don’t want to be like my mother. I second guess every single major decision in spite of what my heart and intuition show me.

In spite of all my deep awareness and knowing I am not exempt from all my human lessons and challenges. I am always on the trail of mending.

Healing is about release. It’s surrendering to the now while letting go of what has kept you captive. This can be physical, emotional or spiritual. I don’t believe in examining and re-examining the past because that story is no longer there. We create new ones but at some point ancestral wounds need to be cut.

Sometimes we don’t really know what’s inside no matter how much we work on ourselves. It takes an outsider to guide your spirit on a new journey and quest.

Here is what I continue to learn daily: unhealed people hurt through their unknowing-ness. They don’t recognize they are hurting anyone, especially a child. As I continue to feel seen the vulnerability is heighten. I am no longer a little chubby scared girl feeling judged by the world. I am no longer a 20 something woman walking on eggshells afraid of what others think of me.

The healing sticks when we become aware of how we allow toxic energy from others. Those folks continue to show up to remind us of our growth. I am blessed they continue to show me how to set healthy boundaries.

I hope you can also see them and send them love. You don’t have to participate in their dramas. I see you. I honor you. I love you.

Life is Epic

I woke this morning sick of my stories, the drama I repeat, and the never ending struggle to find peace among the storms that are not real but living in my little head. It’s sickening. This being, and just allowing, is not for sissies. No one said that the spiritual walk was meant to BE a walk in the park! It takes massive amount of discipline and I don’t follow orders very well…even when it’s from the esoteric world. So…I got up…did my meditation…had to stop right in the middle and said, “F*@k this crap! I can do this. I have manifested incredible experiences in this lifetime. I can let this go and move on without this struggle. This is my own ego creating this shit! I am more than this scene, this stage, and this production!!!”

I got up turning the “cannot” into “will do.”

We have the complete capacity and power to change our thoughts. In those moments I feel the swirl of energy directing me into joy, faith, and love. The heart opens up when I let go of the toxic stories I retell myself. It’s just a shift in perception. I promise.

Aren’t you sick of your same old stories, drama, struggles, and total bullshit (because it is just crap)? Then change the channel…tune into the mass consciousness of love…for you and the world. Get out of your head. Get out of your way…you got this! I know it may all feel heavy at this moment.

Put it down. Stop giving it power. Move away from it for a little while. You may come back to it at another time.

Onward and outward, darlings. Take one breath at a time and move through your knowing. Accept your magnificence and inner guidance. That is your internal GPS. Reroute if you must. But keep going.

Have a blessed day! I love you.

Sacred Living through the Mundane

Faithful beginnings are led by sacred endings. Sometimes we are caught in the in-between for a bit waiting for the signs of what’s coming. It’s not an easy space to be. It’s full of unknowns and uncertainties. We forget to live in the moment, especially during these wobbly times. We keep thinking about tomorrow and next month… instead of taking in the NOW.

I urge you to make time for aloneness, for yourself, for your spirit. It is then that answers come and there is full clarity. These moments come in so many different manners throughout our days.

I love humans. I love connections. And, although, I will talk to anyone and anything, I need time alone. I can dive into a book and get lost; watch a movie and enjoy the solitude; and eat with silence as my companion. And, even with two small children I will steal moments of solitude as often as I can. To breathe and return to mindfulness and deep awareness.

I will be sharing 30 days of mindful-sacred living (even through the mundane of our daily lives) on my Sacred Journey Facebook page starting on Tuesday for the entire month of September… every morning. It’s easy to feel as if we need to retreat from our lives in order to re-energize, but it isn’t so.

Make a date with yourself often. Give your brain a break. Have mini vacations alone for moments here and there. You need restoration and recharging. We all do. But there is so much we can do without escaping our lives. The world is pretty chaotic and our spirits need to be reminded that we get to choose how we show up.

It’s a new month. New beginnings. And lovely experiences. Hope to see you over in the page.

Expansion of Consciousness

“Consciousness is the highest word you will ever utter.” -Michael A. Singer

Here we are experiencing the expansion of consciousness. Every single day. Lately more intense than other times. Some folks aren’t handling it well. It’s that extreme. The more empathetic you are the harder it feels to stay grounded.

So we feel it in the physical body. We feel it in our emotional stories. We are navigating some amazing times and it’s conjuring up lots of release and old paradigms.

Stop beating yourself up for the past. Stop replaying the stories from yesteryears. Stop trying to make the past fit into your present life, and adjusting it to recreate in the future. Whatever belief you have will manifest quickly so be mindful of what you want. Energy doesn’t lie and it also doesn’t decipher from negative or positive. It attaches to all that is happening now. We are evolving and ascending to higher realms of consciousness.

If you are struggling recognize that you aren’t alone. We are here for each other. Reach out please. Sending love to all.

Listen

I speak to you through here, through the vastness of love frequency, and the spaces between the words.

Listen…

Here is the thing… to shut yourself off from the world is pure insanity. It is a great injustice. We are not made to live without love. We are not made to put up walls. We are to continue growing through those losses. I’ve lost no more, and no less, than anyone else. I have lost physically and mentally while in those losses I have doubted my humanity, my self-worth, and my ability to keep going. I have loved time and time again and have been hurt. I’m not exempt from heartache. I have left the warmth and comfort in not wanting relationships to then dive in and get hurt. I have been ruptured and stitched up again. I have seen the beauty in mindful love and the downside of giving all that I am. It’s been worth the ride.

I remember telling someone that a break like that truly feels like a giant crack inside. I believe it is then that the fracture allows for the heart to expand and grow to love deeper. Perhaps I am delusional. I just know that the times that I have ended relationships, or death has taken someone, the pain is so immense that my soul needs time alone to recuperate. I literally feel the ache coming from my chest. I also feel the light healing it. It is in those moments that the tears wash everything out and I realize that faith is the only means of transportation. I have no regrets because the child in me only wants love and to be loved. The woman in me recognizes that I am not invisible. Love is my essence. If loving entails loss… well that’s a mighty hefty price that needs to be paid. Love is part of conscious living. You must give it in order to breathe.

We are not exempt from disappointments, deaths, breakups, tragedies, and anything under the scope of loss. Loss is the vulture that cleans our insides. While its in there anger, resentment, guilt, shame, and a kaleidoscope of emotions rise. Loss eats every aspect of hope and then allows for new cells to rebuild. If we live long enough we will see the immense power of hatred as well as the magnitude of love. This is your life. This is my life. This is life. Do not confine yourself to a prison of safety by not opening your heart to the world. You will miss out in other ways that Spirit can gift you through the magic of love. You are not alone. May you find the courage to love again and again for the rest of your life!

Love, darling. Love with all that you are and continue feeling it all. Don’t stop or shut yourself through fear. Through love you find the Divine in you and the Divinity in others.

I love you.

Sadness

Sadness doesn’t always look like despair.
Grief doesn’t always look like sorrow.
Mourning doesn’t always release tears.
Sometimes it looks like isolation or withdrawal.
It can look like sarcasm and anger.
It may appear like everything is fine.
Other times it shows up like silence with a broken smile.
It can hide itself in a bed with lights out or through addiction.

Be kind. You never know what another soul is experiencing. We have been taught in society to wear masks … way before this pandemic. It has been ingrained in us. Our job is to love and accept others without immediate judgment.

Shifting Awareness

It’s time to shift your awareness and perspective. It’s time to truly be the most amazing version of yourself. The world needs it. It needs you to heal and help others heal. We are being asked right now to do so.

To blame others for my full participation in the drama is moronic. I cannot blame someone for me staying in a toxic relationship. I can blame my inability to move away from the fear and manipulation from that person while giving away my power. But he or she were not holding me captive. My perspective of the obstacle was my enemy.

I cannot blame someone else for screwing me up in business. I participated knowing that person’s character. But I did it anyway.

Most of the obstacles, events, and experiences that we believe are happening to us (while in victim mode) are actually happening through us.

Read that again if you can’t grasp it!

You have created a life that is comfortable even in the discomfort. You know it fully. You might hate it. You might be stuck in the past beating yourself up for mistakes and then taking it out on the world. You continue to blame everyone around you. But I can assure you that when you spiritually connect to your truth you will figure out that no one is to blame for many of the things you endure. Your past determines a lot of your future choices so be mindful of the journey. You get a tremendous opportunity, daily, to shift gears and make something out of your life.

Have courage. Rise above the victim mentality into something that teaches you invaluable experiences.

And yes, there are cases of abuse and violence that you didn’t ask for, or consciously attracted. There are diseases and so much that we don’t get a say on. There is still bad in the world.

We have duality in our lives. We move through the dark into light a million times. We get to choose how, when, and where.

Blaming everyone else for not having the right job, or being in a shitty relationship, or not having enough money is truly inexcusable. Pointing fingers at everyone else instead of moving inward and finding the answers is pure avoidance.

Your stories are your biggest motivators and inspirations. Learn how strong you are. Accept how magnificently you create life around you.

You have the power to change your circumstances one step at a time. When you leave the victim mentality you will begin to take control of your life. Trust in your capacity to manifest. Believe in your innate and divine ability to set healthy boundaries. Most of us were not taught this early on. It’s all about reprogramming your wiring.

Show up. Keep going. Manifest your desires. If you feel you have fallen take a breather and get back up again… and again. You are in control of your thoughts and actions. Start to shift into a higher vibrational frequency. The planet is pushing everyone of us to do so.

You’ve got this! WE got this!