Unhealed People

I spent a large part of my life hiding. Recently, after a healing session with an incredible soul, I recognized the patterns and programming. I shared with an old friend who immediately said, “Oh honey, you’ve been hiding all your life. I’m so sorry!”

Her sorry was genuine and my tears flowed out again. She saw me. Really saw the trail of bullshit left behind by a Narcissistic mother. And I’ve been working on cutting cords for so long. I tend to listen to the voices of the past when I try to lead my children in the now. I don’t want to be like my mother. I second guess every single major decision in spite of what my heart and intuition show me.

In spite of all my deep awareness and knowing I am not exempt from all my human lessons and challenges. I am always on the trail of mending.

Healing is about release. It’s surrendering to the now while letting go of what has kept you captive. This can be physical, emotional or spiritual. I don’t believe in examining and re-examining the past because that story is no longer there. We create new ones but at some point ancestral wounds need to be cut.

Sometimes we don’t really know what’s inside no matter how much we work on ourselves. It takes an outsider to guide your spirit on a new journey and quest.

Here is what I continue to learn daily: unhealed people hurt through their unknowing-ness. They don’t recognize they are hurting anyone, especially a child. As I continue to feel seen the vulnerability is heighten. I am no longer a little chubby scared girl feeling judged by the world. I am no longer a 20 something woman walking on eggshells afraid of what others think of me.

The healing sticks when we become aware of how we allow toxic energy from others. Those folks continue to show up to remind us of our growth. I am blessed they continue to show me how to set healthy boundaries.

I hope you can also see them and send them love. You don’t have to participate in their dramas. I see you. I honor you. I love you.

Life is Epic

I woke this morning sick of my stories, the drama I repeat, and the never ending struggle to find peace among the storms that are not real but living in my little head. It’s sickening. This being, and just allowing, is not for sissies. No one said that the spiritual walk was meant to BE a walk in the park! It takes massive amount of discipline and I don’t follow orders very well…even when it’s from the esoteric world. So…I got up…did my meditation…had to stop right in the middle and said, “F*@k this crap! I can do this. I have manifested incredible experiences in this lifetime. I can let this go and move on without this struggle. This is my own ego creating this shit! I am more than this scene, this stage, and this production!!!”

I got up turning the “cannot” into “will do.”

We have the complete capacity and power to change our thoughts. In those moments I feel the swirl of energy directing me into joy, faith, and love. The heart opens up when I let go of the toxic stories I retell myself. It’s just a shift in perception. I promise.

Aren’t you sick of your same old stories, drama, struggles, and total bullshit (because it is just crap)? Then change the channel…tune into the mass consciousness of love…for you and the world. Get out of your head. Get out of your way…you got this! I know it may all feel heavy at this moment.

Put it down. Stop giving it power. Move away from it for a little while. You may come back to it at another time.

Onward and outward, darlings. Take one breath at a time and move through your knowing. Accept your magnificence and inner guidance. That is your internal GPS. Reroute if you must. But keep going.

Have a blessed day! I love you.

Sacred Living through the Mundane

Faithful beginnings are led by sacred endings. Sometimes we are caught in the in-between for a bit waiting for the signs of what’s coming. It’s not an easy space to be. It’s full of unknowns and uncertainties. We forget to live in the moment, especially during these wobbly times. We keep thinking about tomorrow and next month… instead of taking in the NOW.

I urge you to make time for aloneness, for yourself, for your spirit. It is then that answers come and there is full clarity. These moments come in so many different manners throughout our days.

I love humans. I love connections. And, although, I will talk to anyone and anything, I need time alone. I can dive into a book and get lost; watch a movie and enjoy the solitude; and eat with silence as my companion. And, even with two small children I will steal moments of solitude as often as I can. To breathe and return to mindfulness and deep awareness.

I will be sharing 30 days of mindful-sacred living (even through the mundane of our daily lives) on my Sacred Journey Facebook page starting on Tuesday for the entire month of September… every morning. It’s easy to feel as if we need to retreat from our lives in order to re-energize, but it isn’t so.

Make a date with yourself often. Give your brain a break. Have mini vacations alone for moments here and there. You need restoration and recharging. We all do. But there is so much we can do without escaping our lives. The world is pretty chaotic and our spirits need to be reminded that we get to choose how we show up.

It’s a new month. New beginnings. And lovely experiences. Hope to see you over in the page.

Expansion of Consciousness

“Consciousness is the highest word you will ever utter.” -Michael A. Singer

Here we are experiencing the expansion of consciousness. Every single day. Lately more intense than other times. Some folks aren’t handling it well. It’s that extreme. The more empathetic you are the harder it feels to stay grounded.

So we feel it in the physical body. We feel it in our emotional stories. We are navigating some amazing times and it’s conjuring up lots of release and old paradigms.

Stop beating yourself up for the past. Stop replaying the stories from yesteryears. Stop trying to make the past fit into your present life, and adjusting it to recreate in the future. Whatever belief you have will manifest quickly so be mindful of what you want. Energy doesn’t lie and it also doesn’t decipher from negative or positive. It attaches to all that is happening now. We are evolving and ascending to higher realms of consciousness.

If you are struggling recognize that you aren’t alone. We are here for each other. Reach out please. Sending love to all.

Listen

I speak to you through here, through the vastness of love frequency, and the spaces between the words.

Listen…

Here is the thing… to shut yourself off from the world is pure insanity. It is a great injustice. We are not made to live without love. We are not made to put up walls. We are to continue growing through those losses. I’ve lost no more, and no less, than anyone else. I have lost physically and mentally while in those losses I have doubted my humanity, my self-worth, and my ability to keep going. I have loved time and time again and have been hurt. I’m not exempt from heartache. I have left the warmth and comfort in not wanting relationships to then dive in and get hurt. I have been ruptured and stitched up again. I have seen the beauty in mindful love and the downside of giving all that I am. It’s been worth the ride.

I remember telling someone that a break like that truly feels like a giant crack inside. I believe it is then that the fracture allows for the heart to expand and grow to love deeper. Perhaps I am delusional. I just know that the times that I have ended relationships, or death has taken someone, the pain is so immense that my soul needs time alone to recuperate. I literally feel the ache coming from my chest. I also feel the light healing it. It is in those moments that the tears wash everything out and I realize that faith is the only means of transportation. I have no regrets because the child in me only wants love and to be loved. The woman in me recognizes that I am not invisible. Love is my essence. If loving entails loss… well that’s a mighty hefty price that needs to be paid. Love is part of conscious living. You must give it in order to breathe.

We are not exempt from disappointments, deaths, breakups, tragedies, and anything under the scope of loss. Loss is the vulture that cleans our insides. While its in there anger, resentment, guilt, shame, and a kaleidoscope of emotions rise. Loss eats every aspect of hope and then allows for new cells to rebuild. If we live long enough we will see the immense power of hatred as well as the magnitude of love. This is your life. This is my life. This is life. Do not confine yourself to a prison of safety by not opening your heart to the world. You will miss out in other ways that Spirit can gift you through the magic of love. You are not alone. May you find the courage to love again and again for the rest of your life!

Love, darling. Love with all that you are and continue feeling it all. Don’t stop or shut yourself through fear. Through love you find the Divine in you and the Divinity in others.

I love you.

Sadness

Sadness doesn’t always look like despair.
Grief doesn’t always look like sorrow.
Mourning doesn’t always release tears.
Sometimes it looks like isolation or withdrawal.
It can look like sarcasm and anger.
It may appear like everything is fine.
Other times it shows up like silence with a broken smile.
It can hide itself in a bed with lights out or through addiction.

Be kind. You never know what another soul is experiencing. We have been taught in society to wear masks … way before this pandemic. It has been ingrained in us. Our job is to love and accept others without immediate judgment.

Shifting Awareness

It’s time to shift your awareness and perspective. It’s time to truly be the most amazing version of yourself. The world needs it. It needs you to heal and help others heal. We are being asked right now to do so.

To blame others for my full participation in the drama is moronic. I cannot blame someone for me staying in a toxic relationship. I can blame my inability to move away from the fear and manipulation from that person while giving away my power. But he or she were not holding me captive. My perspective of the obstacle was my enemy.

I cannot blame someone else for screwing me up in business. I participated knowing that person’s character. But I did it anyway.

Most of the obstacles, events, and experiences that we believe are happening to us (while in victim mode) are actually happening through us.

Read that again if you can’t grasp it!

You have created a life that is comfortable even in the discomfort. You know it fully. You might hate it. You might be stuck in the past beating yourself up for mistakes and then taking it out on the world. You continue to blame everyone around you. But I can assure you that when you spiritually connect to your truth you will figure out that no one is to blame for many of the things you endure. Your past determines a lot of your future choices so be mindful of the journey. You get a tremendous opportunity, daily, to shift gears and make something out of your life.

Have courage. Rise above the victim mentality into something that teaches you invaluable experiences.

And yes, there are cases of abuse and violence that you didn’t ask for, or consciously attracted. There are diseases and so much that we don’t get a say on. There is still bad in the world.

We have duality in our lives. We move through the dark into light a million times. We get to choose how, when, and where.

Blaming everyone else for not having the right job, or being in a shitty relationship, or not having enough money is truly inexcusable. Pointing fingers at everyone else instead of moving inward and finding the answers is pure avoidance.

Your stories are your biggest motivators and inspirations. Learn how strong you are. Accept how magnificently you create life around you.

You have the power to change your circumstances one step at a time. When you leave the victim mentality you will begin to take control of your life. Trust in your capacity to manifest. Believe in your innate and divine ability to set healthy boundaries. Most of us were not taught this early on. It’s all about reprogramming your wiring.

Show up. Keep going. Manifest your desires. If you feel you have fallen take a breather and get back up again… and again. You are in control of your thoughts and actions. Start to shift into a higher vibrational frequency. The planet is pushing everyone of us to do so.

You’ve got this! WE got this!

Opinions and Expectations

We judge (and criticize) based on our experiences. If someone is not the same religion, or political party, or looks and acts the same as you then there is a lack of them filling your expectations. The speculations arise from the difference. There is fear at times of the unknown and lack of understanding. The insecurities may rise to the top of the list.

If you are too lovey dovey you are too needy.
If you are too positive you are bypassing all human experiences.
If you use crystals and burn sage you are not Christian because you are a witch.
If you cuss you are a bad uneducated person.
If you are too trusting you are naive and gullible.
If you share too much spiritual stuff you are a fake wanna-be guru.
If you speak your truth you are arrogant and a know-it-all.
If you don’t participate in every argument you are weak and afraid to stand up for yourself.
If you have a sarcastic sense of humor you are hiding major trauma.
If you let your kids watch too much television you are an uncaring parent.
If you send love and light to the world you are a new-agey hippie.
If you aren’t fighting for a cause you may be a closet racist.
If you are overweight you have low self esteem.

I am certain you can add to the list. If you do anything that is outside of other people’s perspectives there will be judgment.

You can only meet someone at the level of their awareness and experiences. Your opinion of me and others is based on your expectations. When those expectations aren’t met you immediately judge.

Guess what fixes that?
Getting rid of your expectations and accepting others as imperfect and learning from their diversities. We are all truly trying to walk each other home. All day. Every day.

Guess what else alters this state of speculations?
Loving folks as they are. Meeting people where they are emotionally, physically and spiritually. We need more open-minded-closed-mouth souls on this planet. We don’t need categorizing anyone. Not hurting them because they are different. Not using past experiences as markers for all future events. Forgiving and letting go of shit are imperative at this time.

IT IS TIME TO COME TOGETHER AND NOT TEAR EACH OTHER APART. Who the hell left anyone in charged of this planet that we are fighting for freaking rights that shouldn’t even be questioned? We are all of the human race.

We are living in the most intense times of our lives as the massive collective consciousness shift is happening. Most traumas and triggers are coming up because it’s time to release them. We are healing. We are shedding old beliefs. If you can’t handle those issues with the people you love then it’s time to truly reconsider your relationships. Love means loving the entirety of a person, not choosing and picking the parts that align with yours.

Be gentle, darlings! There is so much anger out there and it’s shocking to our systems. My heart is cracked open. I am feeling it deeply. I love you.

Be the love

Good morning sweet souls! I woke this morning with a full heart after actually sleeping a full night. Sleep is underrated, I tell you.

We continue to move through defining moments in humanity. Whether your beliefs are different, or your moral ideas are not in agreement, we can honestly say that love is something that changes the world. I am quite often perplexed by the few who truly don’t understand that we are of Oneness in this planet. Our lessons are about learning soul to soul lessons. We can always input religion and politics in all arguments but the truth is that we are made from love to love another. No one should tell us who we can love. No one should tell us how to live either. But we must be open minded and open hearted with one another. It is in our diversities that we truly shine.

I see all souls embodied and dressed as characters in this life. We have costumes. We play our parts. And, like all great plays there must be two sides: the protagonist and the antagonist. It’s part of our duality. At the end of the day it shouldn’t matter what we believe is right or wrong. What should matter is that we walk this life with an open understanding of love and compassion.

The indifference of mind and thoughts push and teach us. We expand consciousness with new thoughts and get to pick and choose how we evolve spiritually in this life. So…I ask…because it saddens me to see such separation and division, and I witness it constantly through small conversations, reading, and overhearing: please pick love regardless of what you believe. We are love. The Divine provided us with this imminent force of nature that allows us to care for another outside of ourselves.

Don’t discriminate. Don’t judge without truly walking the walk. We are together in this race called the human race (at this time in a flipping marathon killing each other to get to some imaginary end line). Let’s make it a special one.

I love you. I love you. I love you regardless of our differences and opinions. Allow your humanity to come through and accept another without so much anger and hatred. That’s not very spiritual or Godlike. It’s yucky and unnatural and tarnishes character! It shows the world that you’ve been hiding behind a mask and now all bets are off. We can agree to disagree because that’s our part in this play. But, BE the love that put you here to be.

Have a blessed day and embrace this new massive conscious shi(f)t happening. It’s been a long time coming! It is exciting to witness the evolution of the planet going on right now. Let your epiphanies shift you into something more!!! 💕💜😘

Rebellious at Heart

I have a rebellious nature… at times. I’ve tamed it in the last few years. I am stubborn (to a fault) and I don’t give up easily on the things that make my soul expand. My tenacity has helped me build many lives in this one. It has also cost me heartache at times because I stick to what I believe. When I do give up it is because I’ve lost interest in chasing what didn’t deserve me or barricaded me along the way. When I surrender it is because I have felt the universe tell me to stop, usually because my physical body has been affected.

I suspect I will be that old lady in the future that at family gatherings will say shocking things. I may share way too much about things I’ve kept for myself. I may be interrupted or taken out of the room while pushing a walker cursing up a storm. I know I’ll love hard, and loudly, even if I get angry. I will use my rebellion to fight for those I love forever. I will fight for what I believe… including the underdogs, misfits and those who have lost their way. I will continue to remind them of their light even when mine may be flickering and dimming.

When I leave this earth my children will remember my sarcasm and the way I loved them without an ounce of indifference. They will remember my twisted sense of humor and laugh out loud.

I can still climb a fence. A very, very, short one. I may hurt myself but I will give it my all. What I will never ever get hurt climbing is loving another even when it’s not reciprocated. I will never get hurt climbing the mountain of goals and dreams. I will never get hurt climbing my way through this moment in history because I believe there is magic on the other side.