Do Not Allow Anyone to Steal your Peace

Last week I came across someone who deeply hurt me years ago. The friendship ended and it was brutal. I had trusted and loved this person with all my heart. The relationship dissolved. There was so much loss that it took a year just to pull myself out of a dark hole. There was never closure and I was okay with that because I avoid confrontations. It took several years to really trust another woman like a sister. And even now…I am guarded at times.

The moment I saw her my immediate feeling was joy. I sent the love and compassion out with elation. I smiled most of the day. She did not see me. I was just happy to know she was doing so well. I know (and felt) that part of our parting ways was traumatic issues of abandonment from her past. I could not fill her needs and I had my own journey to travel and heal.

We aren’t here to fix anyone. We can extend a hand but we cannot be the bandaid or stitches for them. Because what happens is toxic. You cannot fill them up with what they are lacking.

But, I was truly grateful to have seen her from a distance.

Then I slept on it.

My compassionate heart had allowed ego to talk some senseless bull shit script. I woke the next morning beyond angry. I didn’t recognize myself. I felt nothing of the precious love from the prior day. There was definitely unresolved wounds there. And, boy, was I gonna dig deep to remove that last root! It’s been years. I take full responsibilities for my own downfall in that relationship. In all relationships!

I spent several days sending her extra love and forgiveness. I dedicated my meditation practice to her and released any false expectation that I felt I deserved. I had moved past closure years ago. I was able to just be without the chit chat or what would I have said to her had she seen me. I stopped the fantasy of a conversation that does not need to happen.

It worked. After five days I was back to feeling a sense of peace. The toxic energy moved on. That’s the same toxic energy that consumed us the last few years of our friendship.

I recognized the peace and calmness that transitioned when I was at a distance. And this returned with a deeper love and appreciation for her. I wish her well and sent all my love…from here.

If you find yourself returning to an old wound please accept it’s not healed. When you heal you don’t feel the hurt so deeply. You can detach from it and move on. If the hurt continues then it’s time to cut energetic cords and really send love. Hate never trumps love. Never. Love truly is the highest vibrational tool for healing.

Healing requires the utmost vulnerability of authenticity. It asks that you be honest. It whispers that you honor your soul. Write those letters and burn them. Send your good intentions and release them.

You got to do what is best for YOU. If this means breaking up with your old habits, programming and ideas…then let it be.

Love yourself enough to walk away from all that no longer serves you: a job, a relationship, or anything else. Feel what you feel and make no apology for it. But truly validate yourself. You deserve the love you give to everyone else.

I love you.

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Purpose is Fueled by Desires

What brings you joy? What is the one thing that stops time for you, and makes you come alive? What would you be doing if you had all the money in the world to pursue? What is the hobby or dream or talent that you wish you could do always…all day long?

For me it’s writing, especially about meeting people. It’s the words that come alive on the screen as I piece together a story…and the things I feel take shape in a way that transport me to a single moment in time.

It’s memories and how a touch, a smile or someone’s kind word transforms me. Those moments get to live in my computer or journals. They flow effortlessly out of me as I tend to them with sentences.

I’ve done many things in my life. I’ve worn many different hats. I’ve owned companies and have worked myself into pure exhaustion. I’ve gained and lost and expanded. The one thing that brings me back to life is writing every morning after my meditation practice. It’s in these times of pure conscious awareness/awakening that I can clearly see my purpose.

Then it’s gone. It leaves me quickly when life begins to reappear outside of my little Cosmic world.

The kids need me. The bills need tending. The laundry piles up. The house has to get clean. I have to get to work. The hubby needs something. And life happens. To each one of us, it’s one thing or another.

There is purpose in the mundane routine but it doesn’t make us come alive. Cleaning a toilet for me isn’t as inspiring as sharing a story or writing about speaking to my higher self and guidance. Folding laundry isn’t as fulfilling as speaking with someone who needs a cheerleading session in love or a lift to feel that they matter.

Pay attention to those things that make you smile and fuel your passion. One day (soon as I continue to super manifest) I will be collecting stories, full time, from different corners of the world.

Now you…go write down those things that you dream about and start working on making them real. Reality is always available once we place our purpose on our top priority list. And remember not to stop living in the now by obsessing about tomorrow or regretting yesterday. You have purpose in all you do, and you deserve to live a life that brings you endless love and passion.

I love you.

Unexpected Moments

I received a call at work today from a man asking for one of our employees. I gave him her number and he stopped me, “Is this Millie?”

“Yes it is.”

“Oh goodness. Today is my lucky day…” He tells me his name in complete giddiness.

“You might not remember me but you changed my life one really bad morning about a year ago.”

I said, “oh noooo! What the heck did I say to you?”

“I was having a horrible day. I was actually having a really bad time in my life. You somehow noticed it in my voice and you kept me talking. A total stranger. You just let me talk and you said to me (he starts to giggle) you gotta put on your big boy pants, darling. One bad day doesn’t make a bad life. I’m feeling you (and when you said that I started to cry)… you kept me talking until I broke down and all this before 8am.

He continued to share that after our phone call he decided to make a list of what brought him joy. And he changed jobs, moved from where he was living and completely pushed through the bad days.

“Millie, there were days I couldn’t find my big boy pants. But your kindness to a total stranger made me realize that there is hope.”

I was deeply touched. I don’t remember the man but I’m glad the conversation went well. It could have gone really really bad and who knows where he would have ended up?

“I made so many calls that day and week and I couldn’t remember where I had spoken to you. Then I left that job and today wouldn’t you know it you answer the phone.”

I share this story because you just never ever know how you can lift someone. Who will you touch? Who may need your humor and cheerleading? Who may just be waiting for a life jacket to survive? This man apparently needed my craziness and silly advice that one day. As he continued sharing all that has transpired, including me telling him to write and create, he began to feel better about himself.

Darlings, life is too short not to share with strangers. It is also too long to wait for things to magically appear. Put on your big boy/girl pants and get out there and make the change. One step at a time. One person at a time. One conversation at a time. One love at a time. You get to choose this and it’s pure divine connection. I love you.

Love Notes to Humanity

Yesterday, before my boys left, we stopped at Barnes & Noble. It was crowded with the remains of Holiday folks. I waited by the magazines while the boys looked for their books. I remembered years ago when I moved to Asheville how that store was my saving grace. When the winter hit hard that year I was stuck up on the mountain and my only outlet was to come into town to the bookstore. I had been stripped of all monetary means. A friend and I bought an old motel that took everything I had. She went off to work for the winter and I was left with two teenagers and a deep isolation that pushed my soul into a spiritual awakening.

The mountain taught me invaluable lessons. The motel endorsed those experiences. At the time I didn’t recognize how priceless those obstacles would become. I learned to trust my intuition. I was snowed in more than I could ever imagined. I spent time without electricity and water. And I knew not one soul.

My outlet was coming into town once a week if I could make it down the roads. I packed a bunch of Post It notes and typed up letters. I would sit in a hidden corner of the store and write inspirational notes to put in books and magazines. In the mental health books I would leave “You are magnificent. You are here to make the world brighter.” In the glamour magazines, especially those for teenagers, I would leave something along the lines of “You are more beautiful than any photo shopped girl here. You are here to make a world a better place.” And on and on I would go around and just post the little love notes around the store. It filled me up with joy.

The letters I called, “Love Note from the Universe” I would fold and place in the windshield of cars in the parking lot. Those were longer. And deeper. I would watch from the second floor of the store as people would grab them. Some would open them up and read them, always checking around to see if they saw anyone. Many times they were thrown on the grown or crumbled up in their car.

I had the time to do these things. I have lost my way with busyness the last few years working full time, raising small children, taking care of lives (especially mine). They aren’t excuses. It’s just the way it’s been. It’s a different journey now, but yesterday I ached to start again doing those things that touched the core of me: going to the homeless shelter and having coffee; taking books to the VA Hospital; gathering stories from all walks of life. I ached for a moment so deeply for those simple acts of kindness that my chest felt like it cracked open. I gasped for a bit of air and recognized my soul’s call. I know it well!

This new year I plan on being more present with humanity. I vow to write Love Notes to Humanity and share all the stories from around my world. We are united by the act of connections, feeling acknowledged, listening, and knowing we are not alone on this journey.

The other day I was getting in my car from the supermarket. It was drizzling. An elderly couple was in front of my car. He held the umbrella and was trying to get his partner into the car. It was sweet to witness. I wondered at that moment how many years they had been together. He actually kissed the top of her fragile hand when she got in and closed her door, getting a bit wet then slowly dragging his feet to come around to the driver’s side. And without words, their story became mine. Love Notes for Humanity. Their actions became the driven force to go home and be gentler, more loving, and accepting of whatever was to come with all the buzzing from the holidays. A few times this week I have returned to that elderly couple in my memories. I smile thinking of their lives. And I am blessed to have them now become part of mine.

You are part of mine by just being here. Never, for one moment, do I take that for granted. I love you. May you also begin to collect and create love notes in your life from all of humanity. We need more of that!

Love Goes and Returns

I met this young woman today at French Broad Chocolate Lounge in Asheville. She began to share her story in between four of us sharing a lavender creme brûlée, a chocolate cake, ice cream and brownies. It was a diabetic dream. But what was better was her sharing of how her life has changed…or made a giant circle.

She has reconnected with her high school boyfriend who was much older. Now, after getting divorced and having two kids, she’s available. He’s never had another serious relationship. He’s never been married.

“How does something like this happen? How was he waiting? Did he secretly hope your marriage failed?” I asked fascinated while laughing.

“Nope, he just didn’t fall in love ever again. He was the love of my life. I have been the love of his. It was bad timing when I was in college…!” She went into intimate intricate yummy in’s and out’s of condensing ten years.

“And here you are! He just declared his love. He’s picking up right where his heart left off.” I patted my heart in complete delight for the utter harlequin romance of it all.

We continued to feed our souls, but the true sweetness was in Sara’s story. It was the love that was declared and shared. It was the delicate reminders of how time doesn’t really exist and you can return to the beginning over and over.

It takes pure vulnerability to stay open to the magic of what may be without forcing things. It requires courage to follow the heart and quiet the mind. This is love at its depth of being.

Life has a way of bringing in the most amazing events when you discard the expectation. Love goes and returns when it’s meant to appear. And this afternoon her energy expressed it all beyond words. It was the most magnificent delicatessen in that chocolate factory.

~m.a.p.

Windows

Hello loveys! Please be aware that Social Media is a window into people’s lives. It’s not the entire house or building. It’s a small window decorated for you to see whatever that person wants to show you. You cannot create an entire life based on those windows. Some views are negative and destructive. Others purely enlightening and refreshing. But, they are pieces of a whole.

Your life is yours. You get to choose how you show up and express it. These windows are opportunities to give others hope, love and support.

I’ve deleted many who didn’t lift me. I’ve blocked those windows that brought my energy to a whispering notion of UGHHHH! I come on to these little windows for daily inspirations. There is enough shit out there. The last thing I want is to fill my little brain with more of that. I’m all about the beauty of decorated windows.

Let’s utilize these moments for teaching, motivating, inspiring, humor (oh, yes more laughter pls) and connecting through higher consciousness.

What a wonderful tool we have for raising vibrations…giving love…helping those who are having a rough time. This forum is magical that way.

I love you. But, also remember that when you look in my windows you are only seeing a small part of my whole. It’s not the full story of me. I am the most imperfect person I know. Don’t judge based on my unicorn and fairies. Have a blessed day. ~m.a.p.

Follow Your Dreams

I had a very smart man give me advice recently. He is a brilliant attorney. He has lived many lives. I shared a dream of mine that I feel I will reach and he immediately said to go grab it. He said that the reason people fail in pursuing their dreams is that they wait for the perfect timing. Which never exists. He has seen it time and time again. “Figure it out as you move through it but don’t try and wait for it to come together at once. You will figure it out as you are in it.” He gave me the analytical breakdown of percentages and logistics that made the magic disappear and he laughed because he knew he lost me.

Life waits for no one. It doesn’t wait for perfect moments. I hear this from folks who want to have kids but wait for perfect timing. Or someone who wants to write but waits for a perfect computer. Or an artist who wants to paint but waits for a perfect studio. There are no perfect timings. There is a perfect now. There is a perfect dream that is brewing inside of you.

Life is too short. It takes courage and an unstoppable desire to follow all that you want. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. Start with the desire. Follow through with the willingness and let the rest be created through serendipitous moments.

You got this! ~m.a.p.