Coming Undone

I was next at the check out counter in the grocery store. A woman with three small items came up behind me and I immediately asked her to go before me. She thanked me and was a bit shocked.

“This would never happen where I’m from!” She said.

“Where are you from?” I asked.

“Florida.”

I told her I was from there too. I laughed. The cashier said she was from there as well. I told her it had nothing to do with where you are from. It had to do with conscious kindness. She had three things. I had many more. I don’t even think about it as location or origins. I don’t think. It’s hard enough waiting in line. It’s not a big deal.

She looked lost in her thoughts. She began to come undone while putting her credit card in the machine. She complained about the weather being too cold, just moving here to Asheville, coming to live with her mother, having to start all over again. In less than three minutes I knew her life. She was younger than me. She was beautiful in a broken way that my heart wanted to grab her and cuddle her through love and compassion. She was completed disheveled by the act of skipping over me. I asked her to stop for one minute and just be. I asked her to just be with the moment. I refrained from going too close to her. She said thank you, paid and left. My words triggered something deep and she just couldn’t be.

I was getting in my car when I saw her still struggling with herself two cars down from me. I told her to have a good evening. To be gentle with herself. Tears formed. She waved and got in her car.

She didn’t want to be seen. She resisted the humanity. She was so deep into her own world of disappointments that she couldn’t get herself comfortable with anyone, let alone my presence. She couldn’t accept. She was way down in too much pain to feel me holding a candle for her release from darkness.

It’s okay. It’s okay to not want to come undone in front of a stranger. But, I hope that you come undone in front of someone. I hope you accept kindness and love and acknowledgment from someone. I hope you have a someone for this. It’s hard to witness and even harder to feel the feels of it all.

And this is what the holidays seem to bring up for so many. They feel forced out of their comfort zone and have to pretend.

So don’t. Don’t do anything you feel goes against your beliefs or your stability. Stay in the now. And make zero excuses for how you feel.

I love you.

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Just a Matter of Time

We headed South a week ago to pick up our new baby boy who is 17 months old. It’s been an intense few months. One legal fight after another. He’s adjusted from the first night and we are blessed. It was just a matter of time before the questions would start from our four year old about her new baby brother!

Kali: Mama, who is my baby’s mommy? Is it Kara (I don’t know why she thinks it’s my friend)

Me: no, baby girl, she’s not his mommy.

Kali: who is his mommy and why didn’t she want him? What’s her name? Where does she live?

Me: she couldn’t keep him. She’s sick. Her name doesn’t matter right now. She’s not healthy enough to have him. So he came here that way we can give him a good life. And love him a lot.

Kali: mommy, he will be loved. Forever and ever. And she cannot have him back. (She says this as she’s holding on to him tightly).

Me: sometimes people are used to physically have babies so others can give them the love they deserve. Not everyone can be a mommy or daddy. Not every should be.

Kali: then he got in the right house. You and my daddy are great for the job. And he has a big sister and many other brothers.

**********

People think compassion is taught but compassion, like love, is a gift we are born with. We get to feed it and help it evolve but we are born with compassion, kindness and love. The rest is learned behavior. If a four year old (who has never wondered how she has two white parents) can feel the love in her family there is no reason the rest of us can’t just tap into that energy across the world.

Look for the divine in everyone.

Be Kind

Please be kind to one another. Be gentle with someone who is going through a tough time. No judgment or criticism is gonna make things better. You don’t know what’s going on in their lives. You might have made up your own story. The truth is that no one knows the heart and soul of another. We cannot imagine the mental anguish that goes on in life. Find love even when it’s impossible. Find compassion, especially when it seems improbable. We are all taking each other home. I will say it again and again, sounding ridiculous and redundant, “I love you!”

Be the love you want to see in the world. I fail…OFTEN. I fail and fall and fracture just like everyone else. I then have to check my ego and put it back in the place where it is of service for the important aspects of survival. We are here to learn and expand in a cosmic journey. So ego serves nothing when it comes to compassion and love. Have a safe and loving Sunday. Give your heart to another who needs it. What a gift it is!!!

Privilege of our Lives

I got up at 3:37 AM for the third time in a row this week. I went downstairs to meditate. Came back up and snuggled in our bed pressing against my husband’s back. I actually fell asleep at some point. Around 7AM our little girl came running into the room. She got on my side of the bed and motioned my arms around her. We snuggled tightly. I smelled her sweetness, digging my nose in her wild curly hair. The female cat came to me to pet her. The other male cat laid at my feet trying to attack my moving legs through the blankets.

The world outside disappears in these moments. The safety and comfort of love and security is priceless. But then I returned to the knowing that not all children get to feel this. There are children all over the place not being kissed and snuggled by their parents. I used to feel that it was prominent in other countries. That has shifted. And for a few moments I gasped. Tears silently fell and I kissed and held my little girl extra harder.

Remember where you are, the privilege of what you have. Send strong healing vibes to those you know are not in the place of love, acceptance and light.

And for you reading this: I thank you for being here with me. I’m humbled by your friendship! Have a beautiful day.

Safety Must Be Kept On Here

I want you to come close. I want you to feel my words in this post. If I can relate a single message to you it is to stay open to love and acceptance. It is to stop fearing what you don’t know or understand because of a different point of reference. We all come from diverse backgrounds.

Back in April my husband and I traveled to Peru. We visited the most amazing places. While in Cusco we noticed something unlike anything experienced here in the states. Children ran free. My husband would say constantly, “Safety’s off!” All throughout main streets little children were walking around. They weren’t orphans. They belonged to the community. The entire city takes care of their kids. They watch over them. We asked everywhere we went. It was shocking for us to witness it and by the end of our trip we understood that their society has come together to raise the next generation. It’s beautiful to witness.

It scared me to see three and four year olds so close to the roads. Or, walking around among strangers. Or, running through dark alleys. We aren’t used to this. But, safety as we know it were off. An entire city, and small villages, takes care of their young ones. They make sure they are fed. They make sure to keep all eyes on them. The children all know it. They don’t test their boundaries because they are free to roam. Free range babies!

We live in one of the most powerful nations in the world. We used to be the admiration capital of all other countries for a long time. Unfortunately, safety measures are always on. Safety is never off. We have a huge problem with our children. Our country has children available for fostering and adoption but it’s freaking chaotic to reach the system. Unless you witness these issues firsthand there is no way to explain it. The laws are ridiculous. And now we have a heartbreaking reality of how we treat children from other countries, separating them from their families who flee from a life of destitution. They come here to give their children a better life. This is not an immigration problem. This is deeper than that.

There are two issues that cause tremendous arguments in our world: politics and religion. If your belief system constitutes in you believing that keeping children in prisons away from their families is humanitarian and compassionate then you need a new belief system. You may rationalize it anyway you want but there is a huge imbalance with your moral compass. This is not about what’s right for our nation. This is what is broken with our society. This is a humanitarian issue not a political or religious one. This is dividing us and tearing us completely apart into fear and hate…and disgust.

I am pretty good about putting blinders on when it comes to other things. I don’t go into issues that lower my vibration or energy. But when it comes to children and the elderly population I cannot ignore it. I want to live in a world that safeties are off and I don’t have to worry about my children being taken or hurt. I want a nation that takes care of its citizens and takes care of all humanity the same. It’s in our differences that we evolve and learn. It’s in diversities that we grow. We’ve lost the integrity of our initial foundation/principles that created this great country. What’s happening is sickening and psychotic.

I heard a woman speaking to another at a coffee shop recently say the most horrific things about immigrants. I waited to finish my coffee. I got up, turned to them, and voiced my hurt through tears. I asked them if they had kids or grandkids? And then I wished them a safe life. Before either could speak I stood there in complete disbelief and let them know that I was Hispanic (which shocked them because I look like them) and that I loved them and hoped that they could see that we (Latinos) are like them. We love our kids. We love our families. And we love to believe that this nation is still one of freedom and dignity. It isn’t a political problem. I told them it was a racist and hate one. It was a moral issue. I didn’t expect a conversation. I went to the car shaking in anger.

No one is exempt from discrimination and hate. I, however, believe that in order for change we cannot move through it with more anger and hate. We must look at the indifferences and educate through love. We must show the world that we will fix this issue through compassion, righteousness, and tenacity. And we will win until another issue arises. Where there is light there will always be darkness trying to destroy it. Just don’t let that darkness destroy your faith. There are many things that will be coming to light. We must stand firm in our convictions. We must dig deep into our hearts and show others what that looks like.

Rant over!!

Question what you read, watch, hear and see. Don’t assume anything! There are a lot of things happening that need your attention. Open your hearts wider than your mouths. Thank you. I love you.

The Miracle of Connections

Let me tell you…

About the power of connections.

I have been friends with a woman in Australia for several years. She’s a woman I admire immensely for her stories of survival. She stopped writing and her writings are phenomenal. A few months ago she just dropped off the face of social media. Which is not uncommon BUT she also wasn’t answering messages. It was unlike her. Months have passed.

Yesterday I posted a small message on Facebook about anyone being in that area of Australia. Several folks messaged me.

A woman I met last month in Peru on an Inca ruin hike reached out. She lives over an hour away.

Another woman I’ve never met but is a dear friend here on FB connected with me about helping.

First woman drove to her house. A total stranger. She didn’t hesitate. She Checked on my dear writer friend. Second woman made phone calls. She checked several places.

These are movers and shakers who shift the consciousness of our times. Seriously!!!

Darlings, just because we haven’t met we hold a major ass connection on here. You make my life richer. Each one of you is here to help others and in the process grow with connections. I get to witness some magical things.

These are the stories I tend to. These are the ones who change me and others.

Thank you to Amy and Moyalia for all you both did yesterday. My heart is smiling today knowing she’s okay.

Continue to show up, lovies. We are in this together. My heart overflows with the constant knowing that love is stronger than anything else out there. And the teachers keep appearing in my life to love louder…to love brighter. I love you.