Bless the World

A few years ago for Christmas a dear friend gifted me an amazing book by Mark Nepo: ‘The Book of Awakening.’ It’s a daily meditation guide. The pages are worn and marked. The book now looks like it’s been put through a dryer. Every time I pick it up I find something else that I’ve missed the last five years. Words have a way of popping out just when they need to be acknowledged.

“There are many reasons to be kind, but perhaps none is as compelling as the spiritual fact that it is what we do. It is how the inner organ of being keeps pumping. Spiders sting. Wolves howl. Ants build small hills that no one sees. And human beings lift each other, no matter the consequences. Even when other beings sting.”

Have we forgotten in these present times of “what we do?” Have we lost our way to understand that we are all on different spiritual paths and forms of evolving? Have we deviated from truth because of ideas, convictions and beliefs without once remembering that we must be kind to each other in order to make any form of transformation?

The hardest part of being an empath, or sensitive person, is the constant bombardment of others’ emotions. Even when I am not partaking in their issues, I feel the energy deep in the core of me. I am made to be kind. You are made for kindness. We cannot deviate from our authenticity. This is who we are. We learn how not to be kind, consciously or unintentionally… because we are born with love and kindness in our cells. That’s the starting point to each of us. That’s who we are. That’s what we come here to express to others. That is the web and fabric of our Unity.

Let’s try to return to THAT. Let’s…please…because the alternative really really really sucks! Tonight I am sending prayers to several folks really struggling in so many ways. I want to truly be present with them in spirit, in love, and in kindness.

I love you.

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Love Notes to Humanity

Yesterday, before my boys left, we stopped at Barnes & Noble. It was crowded with the remains of Holiday folks. I waited by the magazines while the boys looked for their books. I remembered years ago when I moved to Asheville how that store was my saving grace. When the winter hit hard that year I was stuck up on the mountain and my only outlet was to come into town to the bookstore. I had been stripped of all monetary means. A friend and I bought an old motel that took everything I had. She went off to work for the winter and I was left with two teenagers and a deep isolation that pushed my soul into a spiritual awakening.

The mountain taught me invaluable lessons. The motel endorsed those experiences. At the time I didn’t recognize how priceless those obstacles would become. I learned to trust my intuition. I was snowed in more than I could ever imagined. I spent time without electricity and water. And I knew not one soul.

My outlet was coming into town once a week if I could make it down the roads. I packed a bunch of Post It notes and typed up letters. I would sit in a hidden corner of the store and write inspirational notes to put in books and magazines. In the mental health books I would leave “You are magnificent. You are here to make the world brighter.” In the glamour magazines, especially those for teenagers, I would leave something along the lines of “You are more beautiful than any photo shopped girl here. You are here to make a world a better place.” And on and on I would go around and just post the little love notes around the store. It filled me up with joy.

The letters I called, “Love Note from the Universe” I would fold and place in the windshield of cars in the parking lot. Those were longer. And deeper. I would watch from the second floor of the store as people would grab them. Some would open them up and read them, always checking around to see if they saw anyone. Many times they were thrown on the grown or crumbled up in their car.

I had the time to do these things. I have lost my way with busyness the last few years working full time, raising small children, taking care of lives (especially mine). They aren’t excuses. It’s just the way it’s been. It’s a different journey now, but yesterday I ached to start again doing those things that touched the core of me: going to the homeless shelter and having coffee; taking books to the VA Hospital; gathering stories from all walks of life. I ached for a moment so deeply for those simple acts of kindness that my chest felt like it cracked open. I gasped for a bit of air and recognized my soul’s call. I know it well!

This new year I plan on being more present with humanity. I vow to write Love Notes to Humanity and share all the stories from around my world. We are united by the act of connections, feeling acknowledged, listening, and knowing we are not alone on this journey.

The other day I was getting in my car from the supermarket. It was drizzling. An elderly couple was in front of my car. He held the umbrella and was trying to get his partner into the car. It was sweet to witness. I wondered at that moment how many years they had been together. He actually kissed the top of her fragile hand when she got in and closed her door, getting a bit wet then slowly dragging his feet to come around to the driver’s side. And without words, their story became mine. Love Notes for Humanity. Their actions became the driven force to go home and be gentler, more loving, and accepting of whatever was to come with all the buzzing from the holidays. A few times this week I have returned to that elderly couple in my memories. I smile thinking of their lives. And I am blessed to have them now become part of mine.

You are part of mine by just being here. Never, for one moment, do I take that for granted. I love you. May you also begin to collect and create love notes in your life from all of humanity. We need more of that!

Coming Undone

I was next at the check out counter in the grocery store. A woman with three small items came up behind me and I immediately asked her to go before me. She thanked me and was a bit shocked.

“This would never happen where I’m from!” She said.

“Where are you from?” I asked.

“Florida.”

I told her I was from there too. I laughed. The cashier said she was from there as well. I told her it had nothing to do with where you are from. It had to do with conscious kindness. She had three things. I had many more. I don’t even think about it as location or origins. I don’t think. It’s hard enough waiting in line. It’s not a big deal.

She looked lost in her thoughts. She began to come undone while putting her credit card in the machine. She complained about the weather being too cold, just moving here to Asheville, coming to live with her mother, having to start all over again. In less than three minutes I knew her life. She was younger than me. She was beautiful in a broken way that my heart wanted to grab her and cuddle her through love and compassion. She was completed disheveled by the act of skipping over me. I asked her to stop for one minute and just be. I asked her to just be with the moment. I refrained from going too close to her. She said thank you, paid and left. My words triggered something deep and she just couldn’t be.

I was getting in my car when I saw her still struggling with herself two cars down from me. I told her to have a good evening. To be gentle with herself. Tears formed. She waved and got in her car.

She didn’t want to be seen. She resisted the humanity. She was so deep into her own world of disappointments that she couldn’t get herself comfortable with anyone, let alone my presence. She couldn’t accept. She was way down in too much pain to feel me holding a candle for her release from darkness.

It’s okay. It’s okay to not want to come undone in front of a stranger. But, I hope that you come undone in front of someone. I hope you accept kindness and love and acknowledgment from someone. I hope you have a someone for this. It’s hard to witness and even harder to feel the feels of it all.

And this is what the holidays seem to bring up for so many. They feel forced out of their comfort zone and have to pretend.

So don’t. Don’t do anything you feel goes against your beliefs or your stability. Stay in the now. And make zero excuses for how you feel.

I love you.

Just a Matter of Time

We headed South a week ago to pick up our new baby boy who is 17 months old. It’s been an intense few months. One legal fight after another. He’s adjusted from the first night and we are blessed. It was just a matter of time before the questions would start from our four year old about her new baby brother!

Kali: Mama, who is my baby’s mommy? Is it Kara (I don’t know why she thinks it’s my friend)

Me: no, baby girl, she’s not his mommy.

Kali: who is his mommy and why didn’t she want him? What’s her name? Where does she live?

Me: she couldn’t keep him. She’s sick. Her name doesn’t matter right now. She’s not healthy enough to have him. So he came here that way we can give him a good life. And love him a lot.

Kali: mommy, he will be loved. Forever and ever. And she cannot have him back. (She says this as she’s holding on to him tightly).

Me: sometimes people are used to physically have babies so others can give them the love they deserve. Not everyone can be a mommy or daddy. Not every should be.

Kali: then he got in the right house. You and my daddy are great for the job. And he has a big sister and many other brothers.

**********

People think compassion is taught but compassion, like love, is a gift we are born with. We get to feed it and help it evolve but we are born with compassion, kindness and love. The rest is learned behavior. If a four year old (who has never wondered how she has two white parents) can feel the love in her family there is no reason the rest of us can’t just tap into that energy across the world.

Look for the divine in everyone.

Be Kind

Please be kind to one another. Be gentle with someone who is going through a tough time. No judgment or criticism is gonna make things better. You don’t know what’s going on in their lives. You might have made up your own story. The truth is that no one knows the heart and soul of another. We cannot imagine the mental anguish that goes on in life. Find love even when it’s impossible. Find compassion, especially when it seems improbable. We are all taking each other home. I will say it again and again, sounding ridiculous and redundant, “I love you!”

Be the love you want to see in the world. I fail…OFTEN. I fail and fall and fracture just like everyone else. I then have to check my ego and put it back in the place where it is of service for the important aspects of survival. We are here to learn and expand in a cosmic journey. So ego serves nothing when it comes to compassion and love. Have a safe and loving Sunday. Give your heart to another who needs it. What a gift it is!!!

Privilege of our Lives

I got up at 3:37 AM for the third time in a row this week. I went downstairs to meditate. Came back up and snuggled in our bed pressing against my husband’s back. I actually fell asleep at some point. Around 7AM our little girl came running into the room. She got on my side of the bed and motioned my arms around her. We snuggled tightly. I smelled her sweetness, digging my nose in her wild curly hair. The female cat came to me to pet her. The other male cat laid at my feet trying to attack my moving legs through the blankets.

The world outside disappears in these moments. The safety and comfort of love and security is priceless. But then I returned to the knowing that not all children get to feel this. There are children all over the place not being kissed and snuggled by their parents. I used to feel that it was prominent in other countries. That has shifted. And for a few moments I gasped. Tears silently fell and I kissed and held my little girl extra harder.

Remember where you are, the privilege of what you have. Send strong healing vibes to those you know are not in the place of love, acceptance and light.

And for you reading this: I thank you for being here with me. I’m humbled by your friendship! Have a beautiful day.

Safety Must Be Kept On Here

I want you to come close. I want you to feel my words in this post. If I can relate a single message to you it is to stay open to love and acceptance. It is to stop fearing what you don’t know or understand because of a different point of reference. We all come from diverse backgrounds.

Back in April my husband and I traveled to Peru. We visited the most amazing places. While in Cusco we noticed something unlike anything experienced here in the states. Children ran free. My husband would say constantly, “Safety’s off!” All throughout main streets little children were walking around. They weren’t orphans. They belonged to the community. The entire city takes care of their kids. They watch over them. We asked everywhere we went. It was shocking for us to witness it and by the end of our trip we understood that their society has come together to raise the next generation. It’s beautiful to witness.

It scared me to see three and four year olds so close to the roads. Or, walking around among strangers. Or, running through dark alleys. We aren’t used to this. But, safety as we know it were off. An entire city, and small villages, takes care of their young ones. They make sure they are fed. They make sure to keep all eyes on them. The children all know it. They don’t test their boundaries because they are free to roam. Free range babies!

We live in one of the most powerful nations in the world. We used to be the admiration capital of all other countries for a long time. Unfortunately, safety measures are always on. Safety is never off. We have a huge problem with our children. Our country has children available for fostering and adoption but it’s freaking chaotic to reach the system. Unless you witness these issues firsthand there is no way to explain it. The laws are ridiculous. And now we have a heartbreaking reality of how we treat children from other countries, separating them from their families who flee from a life of destitution. They come here to give their children a better life. This is not an immigration problem. This is deeper than that.

There are two issues that cause tremendous arguments in our world: politics and religion. If your belief system constitutes in you believing that keeping children in prisons away from their families is humanitarian and compassionate then you need a new belief system. You may rationalize it anyway you want but there is a huge imbalance with your moral compass. This is not about what’s right for our nation. This is what is broken with our society. This is a humanitarian issue not a political or religious one. This is dividing us and tearing us completely apart into fear and hate…and disgust.

I am pretty good about putting blinders on when it comes to other things. I don’t go into issues that lower my vibration or energy. But when it comes to children and the elderly population I cannot ignore it. I want to live in a world that safeties are off and I don’t have to worry about my children being taken or hurt. I want a nation that takes care of its citizens and takes care of all humanity the same. It’s in our differences that we evolve and learn. It’s in diversities that we grow. We’ve lost the integrity of our initial foundation/principles that created this great country. What’s happening is sickening and psychotic.

I heard a woman speaking to another at a coffee shop recently say the most horrific things about immigrants. I waited to finish my coffee. I got up, turned to them, and voiced my hurt through tears. I asked them if they had kids or grandkids? And then I wished them a safe life. Before either could speak I stood there in complete disbelief and let them know that I was Hispanic (which shocked them because I look like them) and that I loved them and hoped that they could see that we (Latinos) are like them. We love our kids. We love our families. And we love to believe that this nation is still one of freedom and dignity. It isn’t a political problem. I told them it was a racist and hate one. It was a moral issue. I didn’t expect a conversation. I went to the car shaking in anger.

No one is exempt from discrimination and hate. I, however, believe that in order for change we cannot move through it with more anger and hate. We must look at the indifferences and educate through love. We must show the world that we will fix this issue through compassion, righteousness, and tenacity. And we will win until another issue arises. Where there is light there will always be darkness trying to destroy it. Just don’t let that darkness destroy your faith. There are many things that will be coming to light. We must stand firm in our convictions. We must dig deep into our hearts and show others what that looks like.

Rant over!!

Question what you read, watch, hear and see. Don’t assume anything! There are a lot of things happening that need your attention. Open your hearts wider than your mouths. Thank you. I love you.