Tag: laughter

What We Leave Behind

On By Moments with MillieIn Essay8 Comments

Tranquility

I used to think that it was important to leave something behind in life as a legacy for others to acknowledge my existence. For most of my life I kept journals, poetry books, albums and all sorts of pasted memory books documenting my journey here. Several years ago I stopped. I was losing myself in trying to leave a life behind while not being presently available now. I was tired of leaving a token of my existence for others to find. I decided I was going to touch more, love harder, and be present with those in my life.

What better legacy but time?

We are always trying to leave footprints behind for others to find. Sometime ago during a visit from one of my sons we were sitting around discussing legacies. He asked me what I would like to leave behind as a remembrance of my life.

I said, “My laughter. I want people to think of me and think that I was fun. I want to believe that I touched someone through my sense of humor.”

His eyes watered with that simple answer. He was expecting me to say something of greatness or about love. But, I believe that joy is the catalyst to other emotions. Joy and laughter open up love, empathy, compassion, and kindness.

What carries on after death?

The lessons, mistakes, triumphs, and achievements are not so much of importance in the past as they will be in the future. We take for granted what must be learned rather than learn what we take for granted because of worrying about the future. It is the present moment that emphasis must be placed upon in order to correct anything else in our path.

Legacies are moments. Moments consist of time.

Death is a state of consciousness. It is one of the many stages through the infinite. I witnessed this first hand in January of 2014 when I had a near death experience. At that moment of leaving the physical body I was not a bit concerned with my legacy. I didn’t think about the things I should have done. I didn’t ponder or cry about the things I didn’t get to do. My only thought was, “Where will this light take me? There’s nothing like this. There never was.”

We are here passing through: learning, accumulating, and exercising the greatness of our existence. There is no real secret to life. Perhaps…. That’s perhaps the secret! We all want to know that we’ve mattered. We have. I have. You have. We are here in this melting pot together making our way home. Every day I am gifted favorable circumstances. I get opportunities of love (giving and receiving), forgiveness (for mistakes and misunderstandings), learning (beyond my means), dreaming (manifesting all my desires), kindness, and compassion (without them I am not human) so that my spiritual, physical and emotional bodies can evolve into greatness.

This greatness is called life. Make each moment count with joy, surrendering abandonment for the past, miracles for the future, and appreciation for being present at all times. Laugh at the silliness, forgive the hurt, love those who you never thought you could. Allow these opportunities to map out the journey. You got this! No one else can do it for you. Create the greatest story of YOU!  That’s your legacy.

“Inside of all of us there is the need and the desire to be heard, to have our innermost thoughts, feelings and desires expressed for others to hear, to see and to understand. We all want to matter to someone, to leave a mark. Writers just take those thoughts, feelings and desires and express them in such a way that the reader not only reads them but feels them as well.” ~ Vicktor Alexander

Laughter Heals

On By Moments with MillieIn Essay9 Comments

I visit my 85 year old. He’s having lunch with three other men. I grab a chair and sit next to him and a sweet gentleman name Walter.

My client asks, “Why are you here to see me? I know you’ve told me but I can’t remember!”

I make something up about being part of a welcoming committee making sure they are well taken care of at the facility. (This way he doesn’t start to question why he needs a guardian).

My client: “Does a woman like you have a husband?”

Walter breaks his silence, “uh oh!”

I ask, “A woman like me?”

My client: “A woman galavanting to see elderly men. What kind of man lets his wife do this?” He is smiling. I am laughing.

“My husband is at home with our kid….”

He interrupts and says, “If you were my wife I wouldn’t let you out of my sight!”

Walter says, “And that’s why she’s not with you!”

I laugh loudly. So loud that the place goes quiet. All those falling asleep over their plates are woken up. The table starts to rattle with laughter.

Laughter fills the crevices. My client starts to truly show me his sense of humor. I tell him that he’s my favorite. He smiles and says, “I bet you tell everyone that!”

Walter looks at me and says, “I hope one day I can become one of your favorites.” He doesn’t know it but today he has been bumped up to the top of the list. And we just met.

Folks…go make laughter. Go share your joy. It’s freaking contagious. I had me a ball sitting at that table with four lovely elderly men who don’t speak to each other. They gifted me with generosity and I amped up their reason for needing a nap when I left. They used all their reserved energy to laugh. Pure bliss!

Retrospective Observation from a Retreat

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Twenty women from 20 to 82 years young shared space for 3 days. Not one single discord or negative exchanged was witnessed. Every single woman is from different background and faith, yet not once did I witness judgment or criticism for anyone sharing their feelings. We all laughed in the same language. We all embraced our differences. I am always blessed to be among such gorgeousness and tribe.

Amazing women have shared and entertained. We have touched upon all kinds of subjects, played games and truly loved. We have put our guards down. It’s been one of the most magical times in a while. The cackling of joy has been overwhelmingly silly and therapeutic. Omgosh!

It was a true no-judgment zone full of kindness and mutual ongoing respect.

Hospitality is not about entertaining. Hospitality is an attitude of opening up your life so others can come in and join. It is about allowing love and kindness to flow through that space of sharing and being in the present moment with company. And when this happens it is magical! I enjoy each one who shared that space with me at the Charleston Laughfest Retreat.

I walked miles of that beach with and without company. We shared with each meal and games. Everyone of those ladies took something magical home with them. And I took their friendships to a deeper level.

I am blessed to have been in a sacred space of love and compassion. Everyone needs that. It recharges the batteries. A weekend full of laughter is healing and therapeutic to the oomph degree.

If you don’t have a tribe please do make one, join one, or just reach out to me. I can help with that. I’m sure we can build one together.

I love you.

Don’t Waste a Day without Laughter 

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The other day I went into Starbucks. The young woman on the other side of the counter was mesmerized with the long strands of sparkles in my hair. I motioned her to come closer to whisper. She met me half way across the counter. “These are strands of fairy hairs. Someone has a job of cutting the hair from fairies and we get to put them in our on heads. It gives me magical powers.” She didn’t know what to make of that. So she backed away smiling and nodded. “Really?” she asked. I went on to tell her something really far-off and silly. She began to shine like the strands of sparkles in my hair. 
I placed the order. She asked me for a name. I told her “Giggles.” She started to giggle. “Of course it is!” shaking her head, showing me her beautiful teeth, throwing her head back and trying to compose herself for the next customer.

I went to the end of the counter. The drink was made and the barista yelled, “Chai latte for Giggles.” The place started to giggle. See that’s the thing about laughter, it’s freaking contagious. Who said I can’t be Giggles one day? I’ve been Fairy, Sparkles, Bubbles, Babbles, Twinkle and Dazzle. Each time the name gets yelled out and someone takes a look at a middle-aged woman giggling her way to the counter, there are looks of joy (or criticism). But, there is always a chorus of silliness.

Bring on the joy through the simplest of things. You can be anything you want. Stop taking yourself so serious. You are NOT gonna leave here alive so have a heck of a lot of fun along the way. Be whatever you want to be. Make another laugh, it heals. Make them feel happy. You might just be the perfect energetic chord that attaches and lifts their spirits. ~m.a.p.

The Life in You

On By Moments with MillieIn Poetry12 Comments

lovers in a cafe

When the waiter comes
to our table
does he witness a woman
immersed in love
or a couple enthralled
in the hallucinations
of lust and desire?
Under the sunlight,
sunglasses hiding my truth,
I wish you could see what
I see in you
as I smile and laugh at
all the goofiness
that brings me joy.
The life in you transports
sonnets, music, and art
right to my inner core.
I wish I could reflect your spirit,
gathering the kindness,
gentleness, and humility
but I think you wouldn’t
believe what you see.
I sit under open sky,
on a quaint terrace,
eating my salad
giggling like a school girl
waiting to finish
so I can steal one more kiss
to last me many moments
until I see you again.

Core Essence

On By Moments with MillieIn Poetry12 Comments

This morning’s goodbye

tugged and pulled

like never before

as I tattooed a kiss

on your neck

inhaling your smell

while your eyes searched,

smiling,

reaching,

that place of home

no one else has before.

Twenty-five years of this

is wearing us down

to break the restrictions

we created for safety:

the not-falling-in-love clause;

the no-questions-asked rule;

the only-a-few-days-at-a-time mantra;

the take-in-for-what-it-is precious moments.

This week was different

and you asked;

I replied.

You went there;

I returned holding your hand.

I expect nothing;

you anticipate even less.

But,

somewhere in the in-between

the words

“I will miss you”

echoed from both our lips

and that’s

worth a priceless fortune

to the essence of

our soul union

in this new era….

What Do You Want To Do With Your Life?

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follow-your-dreams

I was at a women’s retreat two weekends ago and most of the ladies there are following their soul’s purpose. From an herbalist, acupuncturist, massage therapist, reflexologist, Reiki master, sound therapist, and other modalities, these women are on their loving paths. They have followed their dreams and passions. It was a bit intimidating to sit among them and still not know what the heck I am suppose to be doing. My identity was tied to the motel/retreat center for over five years. Before that, it was tied to the business world of industrial parts distribution. And, now, here I am in the second part of my life and I haven’t a clue what I am suppose to do with my life.

Here’s the delicious thing about not knowing what to do: others have no problem letting you know what you should be doing because they see your strengths in places you can’t recognize. So, I made my rounds with these magnificent women asking for help. I would ask, “What should I be doing? I feel so lost in my professional path.” They all had one good suggestion after another…most of which I didn’t really want to do. They didn’t feel right, even though they sounded so yummy. Then a sweet lady said to me, “You are a fairyologist! Oh my God, what more do you want to do?” I had to laugh out loud until I almost peed in my pants. Seriously? She was actually serious about this. This fairyologist title was an endearing label that came as a joke from my husband back in April for my birthday. He paid for a fairyology online class. I passed it and Bang…I became a fairyologist. It’s a funny story. It’s not a profession. Yes, I talk to fairies, rocks, trees, and anyone who will listen to my excessive jabber. That doesn’t make me a professional in something. It just heightens my eccentricities out to the world to witness and poke fun at.

I looked at this woman who is a professional and had to seriously question her insight. Then I chugged the entire conversation and asked her again what she thought a fairyologist does for a living? She hadn’t a clue. That ended that series of thought-provoking-life-changing Q&A’s.

I think about the many folks who have asked me these type of questions: “What should I be doing with my life? What’s my purpose? Should I go back to school? Should I move and start over somewhere else…?” When I had the retreat center those were some of the many intriguing questions. Everyone is looking for answers. And I would always give them the same response: “What do you feel like doing? What makes your soul come alive?” Most folks would honestly answer, “I really don’t know.”

But we DO KNOW. We are just afraid to tap on that source and be led by it…until we are brave enough to entertain the idea without feeling guilty over the million responsibilities we have in our lives. Unfortunately, we’ve been taught in this society to put everyone first before our own dreams.

And right now that’s my own answer. What I feel like doing is traveling, meeting folks all over the place, and writing about them everyday. Sort of like the Humans in New York blog. I want to write about people from all walks of life because we learn from each other. I want to be present in their presence. I want to share stories that pull and push compassion, kindness and empathy out into the world. And, I want to get paid for doing it. (This is important because I have a little one who will be going with me on this trip and a husband).

“What would that look like? How would I start? What needs to be in place to get this dream in motion? How can I make money from the road doing what I love: talking to people, taking their pictures and sharing their stories?”

I haven’t a clue…yet! But I DO KNOW that it will show up soon.

I don’t do labels well. As in a previous blog post, I am not into titles. I have a hard time adjusting my fairy ass to one label. It isn’t who I am. I have a psychology degree and have worn many hats in this lifetime. I get asked who I am and what I do and I freeze like a possum playing dead. Seriously, it’s sad! I can never remember that I write, or that I have raised six children and redoing it for the seventh time. Like, my brain goes dead when someone asks me what I do. The question should be, “What haven’t you done thus far?” The list might be shorter and my brain may actually work with an answer. I have led a charming interesting and passionate life. I have done a lot of things that I don’t recognize as important but to me they were invaluable. And I thrive on doing more of what brings me pure ecstatic joy on a daily basis. If it makes me laugh, it’s even a larger dream come true.

But, for all of you who are on the same path of self-discovery, I urge you to dig deeper. Go to retreats and classes. Surround yourself with people you admire and see how the magic begins to unfold. It’s in sharing and exhaling with others that we find our authentic powers. Google the crap out of possibilities and spend time alone researching what feels good for your soul. There is no right or wrong answer. There is just an endless path of possibilities. Also, get rid of expectations. They serve nothing but disappointment. Just do it...like Nike suggests!

Have your gatherings. Have your reunions. Exchange information and recognize who you are and what feels good when you are among others. The right angel and person will show up. I have a meeting with Destiny soon in regards to my life’s work. This I know. I feel it. Until then…I am who I am making my way home just like you, paying my dues, and cleaning out old karmic debts. Have a blessed day!!!

The Sage Who Said Nothing

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woman on mtn

Amelia continued packing her backpack. She checked her list to make sure she was not missing anything. She had looked online and printed out a map of the Appalachian Trail. From the parking ground to the Sage’s home, deep in the woods, was exactly 111 miles. It could take her 3 days to get there. She had her tent, extra clothes, and toiletries. She also had another sack of fresh grains and vegetables as per others who had visited the Sage. The Peruvian Shaman did not accept money. People who came to see him donated their time, food, or materials.

Morning came with the awareness that her mid-age-overweight body might not make it through the hike. Her body was stricken by arthritis but she moved through it and made sure to pack some Advil. She wanted answers to why she continued to lose so much. Once again, another business and relationship had taken her livelihood. Amelia believed the Sage would have the right answers. She knew he would enlighten her with awareness and bestow on her the gift of spiritual acceptance. She ate breakfast and headed the 55 miles to the parking ground below the mountains on the Blue Ridge Parkway.

She parked her blue Honda and trekked up the trail. With map in hand, she was excited to find the mystical wisdom from someone who was connected to Source. She was too closed to her situation and she couldn’t find the why’s and how’s. After several hours, her lungs felt like they were being poked with knives, Amelia stopped to snack and get water from a stream. She was exhausted. How was she to make this journey in 3 days? It was going to be impossible. By her calculations she hadn’t traveled 8 miles.

After an hour of meditation she had the strength to continue. Amelia moved past the pain and discomfort. That night she rested well, in pure exhaustion. She bathed under a waterfall. She ate lightly and sufficiently. The next morning her aches paralyzed her. She thought maybe it was time to just give up. She could camp there for another day and then head back home. But, her tenacity moved her with passion. She wanted answers. She was determined to see the Sage. She had a list of questions for him. She wanted to understand why she walked away from everything, again. She wanted to find out if she would ever repeat such challenges.

It took her four and a half days to reach the top of the mountain. There was no house or shack. There was a hut that blended with the forest. Had it not been for the smoke coming from it she might have overlooked it. She dumped her belongings in front of the doorway. She spoke softly, “Hello? Is anyone here?”

A little dark man with black hair and small black eyes stepped into her sight. He motioned her to come sit on the cushions in the middle of the hut. There was very little in this space. For a second she judged how anyone could live like this. Through her own resistance she began to talk.

“Oh, thank you. My name is Amelia. I have traveled a long distance to see you.” She began to pull out her list from her jacket. The Sage stopped her gesture. He motioned her to put down the list.

He spoke in broken English. His accent was thick, choppy, and Amelia explained that she also spoke Spanish. He sat on the cushion in front of her and said nothing else.

“Okay, well, I have recently lost my business to my husband…not to death…to betrayal…to alcoholism…(She took a deep breath and tears began to fall)… I handed everything to him. This is the second time in my life I walk away from everything. I have lost more than money. I have lost my trust. I have lost my will. I have lost my faith. I have lost my mind. I have lost…” The Sage put his hand up to stop the excessive chatter.

He grabbed her left hand and looked at her palm lines. Her hands were dirty and she began to talk about how they got that way, when the Sage once again motioned her to stop.

They sat there for a long while. She could hear the wind moving the trees outside. She could hear a stream passing nearby. She could hear her own breath and heart. Her chest was pounding up to her ears. She could feel the heat rising from her anger at being shut down. She felt the sting of rejection, the knife of betrayal, and the lost of herself.

She broke the silence again, “I have questions.” He motioned for silence.

After a few minutes he said, “Life.”

Amelia, confused, asked, “Excuse me, what about life?” He motioned her to stay quiet.

A short while later he looked into her eyes, while still holding her hand, “Let go.”

She asked again, “Let go of what exactly? I’ve let go of everything. I have lost everything. I don’t even know where to begin again….” Once again, he looked into her hazel eyes and held a hand up.

He then said, “Laugh.”

She looked at him puzzled and took her hand back. She was completely confused by these words. This man is known to give answers from the Universe to heal and get past traumas. All she got was Life, let go, and laugh. Was this a joke? Was this a Hallmark card? Seriously! Her anger rose and she felt the heat move her body into an inexplicable release. But she contained it. She was good at keeping things tightly inside.

The Sage got up and stood in front of her. He motioned a sign on her forehead. He stepped to the back of the hut and got a small sealed pouch. He said, “Keep it on you. It will give you answers.” Then he motioned her to exit.

“I’m sorry, I am a bit confused, are you sending me away? Is this all? I want answers or advice or suggestions on how to get past this hurt….” He held his hand up one last time.

“You have the answers. Life. Let go. Laugh.”

Amelia was livid. She stepped out into the wilderness again and said, “Geez, thanks for the almighty wisdom. I might have to let go of it all. She began to cry in frustration and then she giggled with deep exasperation.”

The Sage smiled and said, “There you go. You have already started to heal.”

**************************************************************

Sometimes it’s the journey that heals us. Sometimes in its excruciating path we find the answers. You are your wisest sage. You are the mystical being. You are the One. You don’t have to go looking for answers outside in the world. They come through the experiences of Life. They arrive through Letting Go. And, they heal through Laughter. A wise man once said nothing. That’s all he had to offer.

~ Millie Parmer ~