The Secret to Change

The secret to change is in the awareness.

We are so hard on ourselves. You notice that? How deeply ridiculous we treat ourselves at times? We aren’t always that hard with others.

Saturday I was sent the final edits for my memoir, Erasable. I opened up the manuscript and became paralyzed. There wasn’t much to change but the idea of having to re-read this story (MY STORY) oh my gosh… it brought me to my knees.

I had to relive parts of me I had forgotten. I wrote the first part of this memoir 20 years ago, right after my accident. I worked on it 2 years ago and redid a lot of it. But it’s been a long while since I went detail by detail, line by line, word by word, mano a mano.

I was still under the weather dealing with the crud. I was struggling just to take care of the kids and myself. And, here in an email, comes this manuscript with a timely deadline in order to get it out on 1/11/23.

So, I cried. I let the publisher know that maybe this wasn’t a good enough book to finish. The editor and publisher immediately returned my email with suggestions and loving support. I understand a lot of authors at the last minute fear their words being put out there. They talked me off the ledge. They suggested I call a mutual friend of ours (who had put out a book earlier this year). She held my hair and my hand throughout the day from many miles away and she was vital to my ability in moving through all the emotions.

I worked on it Saturday and Sunday and it was sent back.

Was it hard? Not once I started!
Was it emotional? You betcha!
Does it share a message that others will understand? I have no doubt!
It is me at my most vulnerable. It’s raw, and real.

To read of the woman I was then and the woman I’ve become now in a book… it’s something. It’s transformational.

The secret to change is always in the awareness because once you know better, you do better. Once you become responsible and accountable for your decisions, your choices, and your life… the world opens up in a very different frequency.

Fear will stop us from succeeding. Had I let that fear of being seen take over, there may not be a book. For that matter, I wouldn’t be writing the way I write daily. I believe that stories connect us. Words comfort us, move us, and allow us to recognize that we aren’t alone.

I love you. Thanks for always being here with me.

Millie ❤️

Changing Perspective

About 21 years ago my ex and I hit a horrific financial pitfall. We owned an Industrial Distribution company and when 9/11 hit we pretty much lost A LOT in the stock market. Just like millions, we lost the ability to trust in what we couldn’t see. I ended up moving from South Florida to Central Florida with six kids while he stayed behind to salvage what was left. I worked on the business from my tiny rental home. Slowly we began to figure out how to navigate the storms.

That Thanksgiving there wasn’t much money. A week before the holiday, I woke one morning to a voice in my little head that clearly stated to help those in need in Orlando. Truth be told I was one of the needy ones. I went into meditation and I was shown exactly what needed to be done. I wrote a list.

I went to the Dollar store and bought all sorts of food and created 20 baskets. I went into our glass-change jar for this. After a few days I took the baskets to the police station in the worst area and asked the officer to please distribute to whomever he thought needed it most. I explained they needed to have children and/or elderly folks. I had written notes in each basket with personal love cards from God.

He asked if I wanted to schedule a right-along. I told them that I felt he had it. I didn’t need to be there.

Because I followed Guidance, that Thanksgiving ended up being absolutely beautiful. A week later money began to come into our accounts from sources I didn’t even know. We had food. We had shelter. We had health. We had the necessities.

What changed? My perception of the situations.

How did I overcome the loss of our home, the deterioration of our business? I walked one step at a time into the sacred journey. I was held tightly in a conviction that Spirit was guiding me.

It’s in the moments of despair that we find strength. It’s in those moments of uncertainty that Faith shows up and holds our hands. It’s those challenges that teach us how to trust in something omnipotent. We are never quite broken as much as fractured for a bit. We heal and we rise. We are absolutely a tenacious bunch.

Gratitude opens us up to abundance (and this doesn’t necessarily mean money, it could be health, joy, ease, etc.). You don’t have to literally give anything. You can sit and send prayers to those in your life, to the planet, to your ancestors. I sit with 12 months of wonderful experiences, especially the challenging events, and recognize their lessons.

For so many of us, the last few years have actually changed us into new versions of ourselves. We have been polished into new beings because of those experiences.

I love you. Be kind always. Stay in the moment of wonderous gratitude and watch how the Universe/God/Guidance show up in return.

I am deeply grateful for your presence!

Millie

Trust vs. Hope

For several years now I have shifted my language. I used to say “I hope” and now I say “I trust.”

To me there is a difference in the way I use the words. When I use hope it feels like a desire and expectation. It doesn’t feel like it is very reliable.

Trust is confident. It is faithful. Trust is believing that things will manifest. It is knowing that things happen in divine timing.

Hope does not feel that way. It feels like it lacks something. I don’t know but try it out for yourself.

I share things with trust rather than hope. Sometimes “hope” is the only thing another person can understand. We relate to what we’ve been programmed to hear.

I trust that things happen. I have faith in them. When I pray or meditate I go into the practice with trust, not hope. Hoping for something feels powerless. Trusting in something feels very empowering.

Trusting you have a deliciously magical day.
I love you.

Millie

Finding Happiness

Seven years ago today, I had the most amazing pleasure of attending a reading, along with Q&A, for Elizabeth Gilbert’s new book Big Magic. It was indeed magical. Listening to her speak is like being with a close friend. She’s down to earth and approachable. What you see is what you get! Some of the audience’s questions felt like subjects I have questioned myself on many occasions.

Gilbert stood on stage gracefully, and honestly, answering to the best of her spiritual wisdom. I went home floored. I’ve read the book about creativity but this event was more for my heart to open and remember what’s important. There are questions that hit home: What is truth and how do you live by it always?

We fear hurting someone else. But, when we stand in our own light of truth it is important to stay there. Allowing others to tarnish and use your kindness, creativity, or whatever is not living an authentic life. She said at some point that “self-care requires a great amount of self-discipline.” We deviate from our rituals to make others happy. We go-go-go and refuse to take time for ourselves.

Here’s the thing that I have learned and at times I forget: DO NOT, by any means, allow another to steal your joy and happiness. Do not dive into the waters of a martyr or a victim because of circumstance, events, or toxic people. Do not participate in drama unless you want a Masters in Fine Arts degree from those people who will bring you down to low frequencies while making you forget who you are. Do not, by any means, avoid your heart’s yearning so another person can feel better. Live life with self-love and self-care. It’s imperative that you listen to your voice, that small echo that cries in your dreams, that whispers in the shower, that sings in the car… forcing you to chase happiness.

I remember years ago I read a quote in a restaurant while sitting on a toilet. Someone had written it on the back of the door: “Happiness is HELL for victims.” For a few moments I stared at it thinking, “Wow, what possessed someone to write that in here? What would cause a soul the need to write something so powerful and remind others how important happiness can be for our essence?” I kept thinking of the woman and what she must have been enduring.

So, with that in mind BE Joyful! BE happy. Most importantly BE truthful with your word and your spirit. I love you!

Millie

The Shift

We are being shaken up to wake in truth. The shift is happening in a large scale. We are women, mothers, sisters, daughters and friends. We are the divine feminine rising in masses. We are the divine masculine holding steady and raising the frequency as well.

Stay in love and do not allow fear to consume you. This is happening on a massive collective soul level. Together we can heal and help the world heal. When one voice is heard it echoes across the world. So imagine what millions of beautiful voices speaking truth can do to release old wounds? Regardless of what the media shares we continue to show the world that truth prevails. And more than anything the light we continue to carry towards one another transcends this moment.

We are making history every single second. This is one of the most powerful times ever. We are witnessing our strengths in numbers. I am healing my own traumas and deep treacherous memories. I hear from so many who are finally releasing as well. I don’t remember any other time in my life that has pushed us to stand in our convictions.

So thank you for your bravery, your allowance, your spiritual expansion. Thank you to all the women and men for staying open. I stand in awed of the magic we are creating.

I love you.
Millie

Release it to the Cosmos

(Google image since I could not take a picture of the man.)

This morning on my way to take the kids to camp, I watched a young man, half-naked, on the side of the interstate yelling at the trees and sky. It was right before 7AM. My windows were down and as I passed him I heard, “F*cK You!” as his fists were pointing upward.

I had this sensation of stopping, but I had the kids. And I am not part of this man’s story. A piece of me marveled at the ability to shout out to the Heavens, that raw vulnerability (even if he was strung out on something) to say exactly what he was feeling.

Most of us don’t.

We bury the pain or the anger. We bulldoze over it. We expect things will change and get angry when they don’t. We demand, beg, plead and complain about it.

Whenever I’ve had enough, I climb the tallest mountain around here early enough not to bump into anyone. When I get to the top, I sit on the largest boulder. The cows on that field surround me. Then I yell to the top of my lungs. I don’t stop till I feel the energy move through me. I sit for a bit. I may cry. I may write. I may just close my eyes and allow the sensations of nature embody me. I become still, smelling the earth, tasting the wind, hearing my heart beat.

I watched this man today and recognized it is time for another trip up the mountain. Those releases are powerful. I had a special pillow for one of my children when she was small so that she could hit it and yell. It was just a way for her to stabilize her little emotional body. Sometimes it was exactly what she needed. Other times it made it worst. We always found a happy medium.

This man needed this today. He had enough (or not enough). Who knows!

Today, allow yourself to feel what needs to move through you. Lock yourself in the car and yell. Scream in a pillow. Allow the energy to move through you and don’t filter it, avoid it, or reject it. Our bodies are transitioning with all the collective madness. If you can’t give yourself permission to let it out, your physical body begins to absorb it all in toxic ways. Self-care is also about releasing the things that haunt you.

I love you! Go love yourself as well!

Millie

Lean into the Knowings

Your ability to connect to Source is a gift. We all have that ability. We are spiritual beings having human experiences. It is all embedded in our DNA. Some people have that ability louder than others. Others tune into it and strengthen the abilities by consciously working at expanding the gifts. I hear people say, “Nope, I don’t have that!”


Do you think of a song right before it comes on the radio?
Do you think of someone and they call you?
Have you thought about something and moments later it shows up?
Every single day you are being guided by your intuition without your awareness!


You may not call it “intuition.” You may just have a “gut” feeling. Our solar plexus (the gut) stores all our divine knowings. We are moved through gut in deciding things. 


The thing that blocks our abilities to connect with Spirit/Source/God is old beliefs/programming. Whenever we get out of our own way, we begin to tap into the realm of consciousness. The ego is a fantastic source for making sure we don’t deviate from our humanness. Its main job is to keep us safe. And, it also reinforces all the belief systems you have known for most of your life. Ego loves to tap into the emotional body. Intuition is the higher consciousness of the vessel you call “the body.”


I have been having these major expansions the last few months. Sometimes I am awakened in the middle of the night with clarity beyond any other time in my life. Like I feel this incredible connection to everything. Then I go back to sleep and in the morning my little itty-bitty ego starts to argue with the messages I received. These days I am gentler with trying to shut ego up. I recognize I need to just sit me down and allow for the uncertainties, traumas, and whatever humanness comes up. Once I address Ego with love, the spiritual part of me flourishes. I rely on the knowing rather than the chit-chat of the emotional body. 


Are you experiencing these shifts? I hear from so many that they are going through all these moments that feel like massive timeline shifts. You are not alone. I promise. We are living in the most incredible times in history. And because of these, you may feel isolated and alone. That, my darlings, is Ego. Lean into your knowing.

I love you!

Millie

The Release

Many years ago I was at a yoga studio in the back of the room when a massive release of tears flooded my mat. This has left me a bit traumatized about doing yoga in front of others. That day the tears weren’t as bad as the paralyzing loud sobs. No one flinched. No one judged but I punished myself for it for days.

A few days ago I did yoga with these ladies in the morning. There was an expansion and I felt myself cracking open to that release. After a few tears I stopped it. I recognize that yoga, to me, is personal. I do the practice in the privacy of my home that allows me to feel safe.

Every morning this week in Mexico I witness these courageous women in their practice while I sit and meditate. I hold space for myself and them through love.

Yoga isn’t the exercises as much as the mindfulness of presence (for me). Each movement becomes an opportunity to let go, visit, and become.

This morning there is Indian music playing, I lit incense around the sacred space where the women are practicing. My go-to healing is writing. This is my yoga.

There is zero judgment here this week. There is only being. There is release. There is love. There has been major transformational moments that I will never forget. As the days pass, and I prepare for my re-emerging into my life, I feel the grace of the healing spirit. I am forever grateful for the divine feminine staring back from fifteen women.

How Much Do You Need to Endure?

We live in a society that tells us to not give up, to suck it up, to move past it….
At what cost?

Sometimes accepting the lesson, through defeat, is part of the process. Letting go, or quitting, doesn’t mean you failed. It means you have adjusted the sails and are able to move to other things. It also allows for humility, acceptance, forgiveness and self-care.

I retreat when I am experiencing heavy stuff. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to work it through. I just want it to move through me and out. I feel that the more it is discussed with others, the more the shit-show continues. I don’t want to add extra energy to the things I cannot control. I want to close it up and move on.

I am not a perfectionist… by far! So, I don’t have that tenacity to beat myself up trying and trying until I reach some insane irrational expectation. I can have a bad day, or bad week, or a challenging season but when it’s over I keep going on to the next thing.

Yesterday was such a day! And I made the mistake to challenge the Universe by saying out loud, “Really, that’s all you got? Give it to me all in one day so tomorrow I can get past it.” At that moment I felt the cosmos laugh and returned, “Just wait!”

Today is a new day. I refuse to carry the remains from an emotional exhausting day into this new dawn. I let go when the pain gets to be so insufferable that I can’t breathe. Life happens in cycles. This new day is an opportunity to create different experiences.

If you are at that threshold of holding on or letting go, do yourself a favor and just be. Don’t overanalyze it. If your body is asking you to let that crap go… do it. If you feel you can still hold on to whatever the challenge, do it.

You are the only one who knows what you can navigate and for how long.

I love you,

Millie

Ask and Let Go

We ask and ask and then try to control the outcome. Then we start to get like little children… angry because we don’t get what we want (especially as fast as we want). Asking for anything in prayer requires the release of the situation. It’s truly about letting go. Let’s begin by recognizing that WE ARE THE MIRACLE. And in this miracle, we can truly create. We may not be happy with the outcome, since we have so many lessons to learn in this human experience.

Ask. Let go. Be grateful. It all happens in divine timing.

And yes, sometimes the opposite of what we want happens. Or, extremes in the challenges appear. There is no certainty to this human experience. It is truly a magnificent lesson in trust.

If you happen to have a perfect formula please share it with me!

I love you…Millie