When my eldest son was about 12 years old he admitted to me that he thought Prince (the singer) was his real dad. His dad left when he was 2-1/2 and for whatever reason he got it in his little head that Prince was his dad. My son’s name is Nelson. Prince’s last name was Nelson. So, he just presumed that I named him after Prince. His father’s name was Nelson.
The stories we tell ourselves, from early on, become stepping stones for our future. That anticipation of meeting his famous dad was something he carried for many years. I didn’t know this. But the other day, he shared (now at 32 years old) that a conversation I had with him when he was 14 changed his life. He said he had so much anger towards his real father and, at least when he thought he was famous, it was okay to not be around because he was touching the world in big ways through his music. But, when he realized that his real dad was just an irresponsible man who never took care of him and his brother, Nelson was angry for a long while.
Apparently one day, as he tells the story (I had a brain injury a year later so I don’t remember this), I pulled him out of school midday and took him to a park.He said I sat next to him and said to him, “Nelson, if you don’t let him go, he will always be ruling your future with expectations that he will never fulfill. If you want Prince to be your dad, then it’s a lovely fantasy. But, to hate someone you can’t be around and blame your behavior on his behavior is not fair to your soul. Your dad left and never looked back. DO you think he deserves all that attention?” He shared this and I began to cry because I can’t remember this conversation. He said that after that talk, he made a decision to let his real dad go. Also, he let the idea of Prince go too, lol. He even shared that some of Prince’s songs touched him deeply during that time.
If we don’t release the history, we can’t create healthy relationships with ourselves and others. We are truly amazing creatures, healing and expanding and learning and multidimensional.I hope you let the past go. It’s heavy. The emotional baggages need to be put down. Write a letter, burn it. Or just cut cords with whoever and whatever is no longer bringing you joy. I love you! ~m.a.p.