The Ness of It All

Tucking my hair behind my ears,

caressing my bangs over my eyes,

you checked in constant assurance

that I always heard and saw you.

Your hands guided my chin upward

so my eyes could share

the unspoken truth…

I was forever present with your one-ness.

Memories immortalize moments,

freezing scenes of tender-ness,

loving-ness and kind-ness

while all else now falls

in helpless-ness  to a backdrop

of what is now real life.

Words echo,

I was everything to you

and I haven’t been ever since

to anyone else…

Oh, yes, there have been lovers

who crafted beautifully the arts

of rapture,

passion,

ecstasy,

gratification…

but the nothing-ness,

the ever so encompassing-ness

of allowing me

to love endlessly

without holding back

buried itself with you

long ago.

When I permit myself

the act of giving

I am returned with akward-ness–

a full disclosure

that you are not in them,

and I am not in me as well.

Luckily stories re-enact

in little sleepless nights

through visions

of what may never be again

but always live in fond-ness:

I was truly treasured

in whole-ness by you.

World of Love

There,

beyond the doubt

exists a you

ready to live in freedom.

Stand on the edge,

take a deep breath

and jump.

The unknown will catch you

and Spirit will

provide wings

so you can soar

over all the fear

manifested

without the allowance

of Divinity to move you.

And over there…

beyond the horizon

is the world

of Love

ready to embrace you

forever

without the restrictions:

“I can’t,”

“I don’t,”

“I won’t”….

Through a Wormhole

walkdream

I traveled a thousand miles

to be by your side

in the witching hours

of cosmic journeying.

I watched you sleep

cradling a body pillow

tightly against your chest,

your breathing heavily

penetrating

the covers,

but you couldn’t see me

invisibly standing there….

So,

I returned to my side

of the world

guided by the light

of a full moon,

gliding and sliding

through dimensions

searching for my bed

then awakening

to your smell wrapped

around my hands.

Love me like this

Search inside the window of my soul

without placing the turpentine

that removes

the bright colors of me

and love me, like this…

like an artist loves

the strokes of paint

brushing slowly on a canvas.

Listen, but with your heart

not your ears

because love is like the wind-

felt but not touched,

blowing in and out from us.

It simply is everything

without expecting anything

but a beautiful composition

that comes from the mysterious.

Touch me but without hypocrisy,

without ill-mannered words

that get caught in deception —

you are more than that.

Kiss me,

grab me tightly,

but not so much like a possession

squeezing me like a doll.

Place your hand over my heart,

notice my rhythm

and try to follow it.

Love me, like love is meant to be,

with compassion

and faith leading the way

to wherever Spirit resides.

Intricate Exposure

 

20130912-184416.jpg

I remember

you and me

tangled in those sheets,

dismantling each others’

armors and weapons

built through a lifetime

of heart break.

Your hands grabbed

the walls of my subconscious,

fondling the lining of emotions.

And in an instance

you found

all of my essence

swimming in the blue

of the duvet cover

exposed to each particle

of your soul

without the fabric

of skin

to hide beneath

every secret of our pasts.

The sun stood at guard

while the warmth

of embraces

evoked the final gasps

exhaled from true love’s

final cry

and leaving

shadows on a bed

we will never visit again.

Snug to Perfection

You got off the plane

snuggled loosely  in those

old-worn-out Levi faded jeans

caressing your derriere

like a perfect set of cashmere gloves

and a smile surpassing

every other person in the terminal.

 

You caught my eyes

with some silly coquette gesture,

tongue sticking out slightly,

and I could smell you

from across the room

while thinking of how I was going to

get home quickly to remove

that gorgeous

black turtle neck sweater

so you could finally be

the second layer

of me

needed to bring life

into this cold gloomy day.

Befallen

I woke this morning
to the sound of
your breathing,
murmurs echoing
through the curvature
of my neck
draping it with heat.
I reached my right hand
pawing your beard,
whiskers sanding the softness
of me to the slightest touch
while a smile escaped you
with a “good morning!”
I stared at the gentle soul
dressed in a man
realizing
I am passed the “falling” part
and have
moved into the befallen
lost in La-la Land
without a returned ticket.
I will wait for you to catch up
to these emotions
as I think of the nights,
the days and moments
embraced in simplicity
of ecstasy.
I am crazy about you
as you have manifested
everything I’ve ever dreamt
in a partner.

Thank you, darling!

 

A Date

I would like to make a date

to kiss you,

to inhale your smile,

and swallow your laughter.

I want an invitation

to travel from your head

down to your feet

in some utter delight

using you as

the vehicle

to come and go.

 

I wish for a rendezvous

to whisper

in the darkness

and the light

in those moments

when I stare into your eyes

as they flutter to my knowing.

 

I want a date to give

and take

and be again

in the euphoria

of our union

because true love stories

never end.

Namesake

He had a name.

He has an eponym.

It is still deeply rooted

in the center of my heart.

And though I try

not to utter his name,

play with the two syllables,

my heart echoes it

from some mystical place

I can never reach.

 

He has a name.

It is a noun

and every so often

it carries an adjective,

attaching a memory

to the few small letters.

Sometimes they are loving words,

others not so sweet….

 

If every man I’ve loved

clung so tightly

I would have drowned

in an ocean of

descriptive despair

full of letters and sounds.

 

But he had a name.

He has a beautiful pseudonym.

I can’t seem to release it

to the vastness of the universe

because it returns,

boomeranged with force,

periodically into my words,

smiling in its relief.

 

His name is implanted,

crisscrossed into mine,

for what seems a forever

and ever of a lifetime.

Collecting Memories

attentiveness

As I sat, listening

to your words,

following gestures –

            lines connecting,

       detaching, intersecting,

        circling all around you

passionately expressing

details of where you’ve been

in such joyous promptitude

                     I wondered how it felt

                              to be you.

 

How do the stories,

words, and thoughts

file inside the memory

of such a gentle soul?

How amazing to carry

those moments,

retracting them

at a push of a thought.

 

Each of us is connected

by an action,

a            lapse          in            time,

a twinkling…. pace

            causing a scene for

later viewing

alone in personal time

full of tears or giggles.

 

Your smile paused

the very thought of me

noticing the attentiveness.

In such erratic tone,

the seconds lasted an eternity

when you leaned in,

closed your eyes,

kissed me for the first time

and my moment

was quickly filed under “L o v e.”