Vulnerability

Vulnerability!

That’s the word of this week since my book came out. I have been sent photos of friends holding my book, Erasable. I have had endless text messages about how the book made them feel. I have had an outpour of love beyond what I can ever wrap my head and heart around.

I don’t know much about how it is received by strangers. But, I do know one thing for certain: it’s a book about overcoming tremendous challenges. It’s a story similar to yours. It’s you in many ways. Take whatever resonates.

We read books, watch movies, and listen to others tell stories because we want to feel seen, understood, and accepted. Mine is no different.

I have been asked about the foreword. My dear friend, Rebecca Saltman, was kind enough to write it. She introduced me to the publishers when I contributed a chapter in her and Jade Redher’s anthology, U Empath You, back at the beginning of the year.

When I was in a moment of getting ready to pull the entire project and close shop, my publisher suggested I let Rebecca read the book. Only three other people had read this book before (many years ago): Angelica Pizano, Michael Thomas, and a professor in Durham, North Carolina, who mutilated the first draft (so much so that I hid the manuscript for almost 3 years in a desk drawer). But, he did me a favor because it was the exact healing I needed from this memoir. I had not come to terms with loss, rape, grief, heartache, and all the delicious joy that has come from this incredible life. I am blessed to have this life, the children who call me Mom, and the folks who raise me up to believe in myself… daily!

The professor was kind enough to show me that I still had to shift the voice. My first draft was written in stream of consciousness because I wrote it right after I lost my memory… and it was the only voice I had available. It read as if you were in my head and many times it was lost in translation.

So, Rebecca sat and read the pdf, pulling me from the doubts and insecurities. She had a stern talk with me, basically letting me know to put on my big girl panties on and move through the publishing process. I cannot imagine having anyone do the foreword as she knows the process of writing and publishing. Her foreword is a love letter of sorts as she retells the story of how her deceased father, Jack, came to me on one of our first conversations back in the summer of 2021.

I am beyond grateful for the love and support, not just from those who know me, but many who are reading this story. I have had friends from years ago reach out asking why I hadn’t shared the tidbits of my life. Why I never told them of my accidents?

I live forward. I don’t live back there. The story isn’t about survival. The story is about thriving even in the midst of turmoil. It’s about you. You taking every step with faith and a certainty that no matter what happens in your life you have the will and choice to make it through. You are invincible… not invisible. You matter. You aren’t erasable even when you feel unseen. And, if you aren’t feeling it then please look around and see what needs shifting in your life.

Thank you for the messages, emails, texts and phone calls. I had so many reservations about my story for two decades. I also knew that in order to be really honest I needed to put away any expectations of how it would be received. In the end, Erasable has healed the inner wounds that had me imprisoned for so long. It has lightened my heart with massive release and forgiveness. I feel free for once in this lifetime. I am stepping into a divine journey of self-love and acceptance.

I am in love… with you all! Thank you!

Millie

#1 Amazon Best Seller

I woke this morning to this message from my publisher.

“Millie, you did it! At 1:00 a.m. January 14th, your book became a #1 Bestseller.

Congratulations! Your book is touching lives and inspiring resilience in all who read it. Thank you for trusting us with your story. We’re honored to be your publisher. ❤

WE (you all included) made this happened. Thank you. I’m deeply moved. I am speechless. It’s a lovely honor and I pray the book touches you and resonates with you. Labels and categories are great but, to me, what matters is that you recognize your inner strength to overcome challenges in your life. That you don’t give up when things get hard. And, that you recognize your love and light in this world.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! I love you.

Millie

Erasable – Hard Copy

I am feeling it all at this very moment. My publisher messaged me that the book was in my mailbox since Friday. I ran across the dark street gripping the envelope. Once I opened it… OMGosh.

No other book I’ve written has had such an impact. Nothing else has felt so intense and healing simultaneously.

When my publisher reminded me that it is next week, the 11th, it became even more real. Holding it seems surreal. Twenty years all inside a computer waiting for the perfect timing.

My five year old climbed in bed with me as I was tearing up. He took the book from my hands. “Mommy, you wrote a book.” I said, “I have written several. But this one is about my life.”

He sounds out the title which is a big word for a kindergartener. He starts to tear up. I see the puddles of tears in his green eyes. He hugs me.

“Can you read it to me like a bedtime story?”

“When you get older. It’s a big-people book!”

He smiles while wiping his tears. “You did good, Mommy.”

I read the acknowledgment part to him about all my kids and he smiles and thanks me. Then we lay together. He wanted to go wake his sister up. I told him that I would share with her in the morning.

Sweet tears. Sweet love. I am blessed. Not by anything but the recollection of a well-lived and loved life. His reaction will forever be tattooed in my heart.

I love you all for the constant support and love your give.

Millie

New Beginnings

Hello darlings!

I don’t want to wish you a Happy New Year. It’s just a day. I want to wish you a happy new beginning. Make the next few days a priority in your life to write down those things you really want. Carry over the ones from 2022 that weren’t available. It’s not about making resolutions that are impossible to fulfill. I urge you to make realistic goals that once you clarify on paper, you can truly work towards them.

Cheers to all those things you work hard to attain. Kudos for reinventing yourself, especially the last few years. I am here praising you on for all you have done. We have all been in major time-outs waiting to birth a newness in the collective consciousness. 2023 is a year of stepping into your dreams. It’s a time to gather up the courage to do the things you have been afraid to tackle.

I have chosen two special words for my year: ease and flow. The last two years have been about change and growing and lots of forgiveness. 2022 was a year of pure release and awareness. Oh my gosh! Did I ever release! It wasn’t just the ending of a marriage, or shifting careers, or now being a part-time single parent again since we share the children 50/50. There has been a huge overhaul in my identity. I can’t recognize the woman I was two years ago, or even a year ago.

I recognized my participation in all the challenges, struggles and drama. I took responsibility for allowing people to force me to grow because of betrayal, and other matters. It’s not always easy to take accountability for the shit storm. I have! I know where I failed, especially in stopping the issues before they appeared. I feel the last two years have been amazing teachers and gave me tremendous opportunities to grow and heal. Taking the leap to work for myself as a writer and a healer was massive. It’s not always been pleasant, but so worth it. I am not one who needs constant security, but there were times that I wanted to disappear from all the struggles. (NOTE that my words for this year are ease and flow because I am done with anything that is NOT!)

I am in a constant state of love. Loving myself. Loving others. Loving all parts of anything that are hard and a bit impossible at times. Loving the journey of forgiveness. All of this has allowed me to finish my memoir book, Erasable, that is coming out 1/11/23.

Last night I had a dream that I was pregnant. I dream a lot about pregnancies or having more children (which stresses me a bit since I already have 8 and I am too old to have babies). Then I realize that we have been undergoing an intense pregnancy of sorts for a while. Now it’s time to give birth to all that you desire, the things you are passionate about, the joy that you have put away for some time. It is the most incredible time in history because of all that is moving astrologically. And the world, the collective, has truly experience a window to see what is possible. There will be many who are going to awake this year to what is important, and truth.

It’s time, my love! It’s time to stop stopping the unstoppable. The fire is rising in you and even if you can’t figure out what the yearning is asking of you… it’s there ready for a new exciting initiation. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that magnificent? If you are feeling anxious or full of unknown anticipation, please ride the wave. It’s all the energies. I promise it will be your year!

Happy new beginnings. Happy laboring. Happy new chapter. Call it whatever you want, but get out of your comfort zone and create the life you truly aspire to have. You get to choose it all! I believe in you.

I love you!

Millie

**I am still keeping the intuitive reading session rate ($77 for a half hour) another month since I’ve had many inquiries. You can reach me at sacredjourneyinward@gmail.com or text me 828-707-8897.

Changing Perspective

About 21 years ago my ex and I hit a horrific financial pitfall. We owned an Industrial Distribution company and when 9/11 hit we pretty much lost A LOT in the stock market. Just like millions, we lost the ability to trust in what we couldn’t see. I ended up moving from South Florida to Central Florida with six kids while he stayed behind to salvage what was left. I worked on the business from my tiny rental home. Slowly we began to figure out how to navigate the storms.

That Thanksgiving there wasn’t much money. A week before the holiday, I woke one morning to a voice in my little head that clearly stated to help those in need in Orlando. Truth be told I was one of the needy ones. I went into meditation and I was shown exactly what needed to be done. I wrote a list.

I went to the Dollar store and bought all sorts of food and created 20 baskets. I went into our glass-change jar for this. After a few days I took the baskets to the police station in the worst area and asked the officer to please distribute to whomever he thought needed it most. I explained they needed to have children and/or elderly folks. I had written notes in each basket with personal love cards from God.

He asked if I wanted to schedule a right-along. I told them that I felt he had it. I didn’t need to be there.

Because I followed Guidance, that Thanksgiving ended up being absolutely beautiful. A week later money began to come into our accounts from sources I didn’t even know. We had food. We had shelter. We had health. We had the necessities.

What changed? My perception of the situations.

How did I overcome the loss of our home, the deterioration of our business? I walked one step at a time into the sacred journey. I was held tightly in a conviction that Spirit was guiding me.

It’s in the moments of despair that we find strength. It’s in those moments of uncertainty that Faith shows up and holds our hands. It’s those challenges that teach us how to trust in something omnipotent. We are never quite broken as much as fractured for a bit. We heal and we rise. We are absolutely a tenacious bunch.

Gratitude opens us up to abundance (and this doesn’t necessarily mean money, it could be health, joy, ease, etc.). You don’t have to literally give anything. You can sit and send prayers to those in your life, to the planet, to your ancestors. I sit with 12 months of wonderful experiences, especially the challenging events, and recognize their lessons.

For so many of us, the last few years have actually changed us into new versions of ourselves. We have been polished into new beings because of those experiences.

I love you. Be kind always. Stay in the moment of wonderous gratitude and watch how the Universe/God/Guidance show up in return.

I am deeply grateful for your presence!

Millie

You are a Reflection of Love

The day will come when you won’t be looking for faith outside of you. When you will stop looking for God in temples and religion. You will notice the Divine staring back from the reflection in the mirror. You will see it smiling at you in a homeless person or a loved one taking their last breath. You will find Source in your children as they laugh out loud. You will feel spirit in the kiss from your mate. You will finally recognize our connections and how important it is to be kind and compassionate to everyone even when they don’t accept it. You will find the silence and ability to walk away. You will feel divinity in nature and inhale her wisdom.

You will accept yourself fully and all the power of infinite love.

It is then when you have reached the loving understanding of your purpose through unbounded love. The expectations of anything outside of yourself will dissolve around you.

You will see you. And you will walk this earth seeing love and compassion in all things without judgment. You will feel the truth of your existence.

I see you. I feel you. I know the God in you is also the God in me. I love you.

Millie

Finding Happiness

Seven years ago today, I had the most amazing pleasure of attending a reading, along with Q&A, for Elizabeth Gilbert’s new book Big Magic. It was indeed magical. Listening to her speak is like being with a close friend. She’s down to earth and approachable. What you see is what you get! Some of the audience’s questions felt like subjects I have questioned myself on many occasions.

Gilbert stood on stage gracefully, and honestly, answering to the best of her spiritual wisdom. I went home floored. I’ve read the book about creativity but this event was more for my heart to open and remember what’s important. There are questions that hit home: What is truth and how do you live by it always?

We fear hurting someone else. But, when we stand in our own light of truth it is important to stay there. Allowing others to tarnish and use your kindness, creativity, or whatever is not living an authentic life. She said at some point that “self-care requires a great amount of self-discipline.” We deviate from our rituals to make others happy. We go-go-go and refuse to take time for ourselves.

Here’s the thing that I have learned and at times I forget: DO NOT, by any means, allow another to steal your joy and happiness. Do not dive into the waters of a martyr or a victim because of circumstance, events, or toxic people. Do not participate in drama unless you want a Masters in Fine Arts degree from those people who will bring you down to low frequencies while making you forget who you are. Do not, by any means, avoid your heart’s yearning so another person can feel better. Live life with self-love and self-care. It’s imperative that you listen to your voice, that small echo that cries in your dreams, that whispers in the shower, that sings in the car… forcing you to chase happiness.

I remember years ago I read a quote in a restaurant while sitting on a toilet. Someone had written it on the back of the door: “Happiness is HELL for victims.” For a few moments I stared at it thinking, “Wow, what possessed someone to write that in here? What would cause a soul the need to write something so powerful and remind others how important happiness can be for our essence?” I kept thinking of the woman and what she must have been enduring.

So, with that in mind BE Joyful! BE happy. Most importantly BE truthful with your word and your spirit. I love you!

Millie

The Connection of Everything

I came out of a soft meditation re-entering this world with complete openness and vulnerability. I opened my eyes to the candles in front, engulfed by the darkness of early morning. It’s a sacred time. My favorite time of the day.

I moved my hand towards my chest patting the soft thump of movement.

Deep breaths.

Deep awareness.

I returned to what I know.

I hear the world at 3am. It’s quite different than any other time. It’s magical. The sounds from earth are therapeutic and of higher vibration. In that silence you can feel the connection of everything. You and I are not separate. There is no distinction of distance. There is only unity and connection.

The rain was thumping on the glass door. I opened up the blinds, and even though it was pitch black, I could see the silhouettes of the water.

I returned to my presence.

I bow my head in gratitude. A new day has arrived. I will do my best to help. I don’t know how it will show up. I don’t know who I will serve with love and kindness. My only job is to just show up.

I’m here. Sending healing to all the areas that are fractured or hurting. I’m here to help shift the conscious mayhem of social fear. I’m here to help love you even if you don’t feel lovable. You are magnificent. I will keep reminding you.

I’m just here… With you… Together in love!

Millie

Loving Simple Things

There are so many events in my life… single moments that scream “pay attention right now!” These stretches of time give, take, and release into the universe the joy of being me. I love them as they alone stand in shifting my awareness from too much to the NOW. It’s these things that capture the person I am and what I cherish in my life:

I love when my children call me for no reason whatsoever but to say “hello, Mom, and I love you.”

I love laughing till I cry, not in a corny way but in a way that an intellectual conversation suddenly dives into silliness and whatever was said before the outbreak is forgotten.

I love random texts full of hellos and gratitude in the sweetest way possible with just a word or a picture.

I love how tears escape unexpectedly with a sound of a one-sentence story with no expectation of filling the air with more.

I love sending cards, delicately placing each word with a tiny piece of my heart to fly into the hands of another.

I love smells that remind me of something far and gone but linger for a few seconds in a corner of my mind.

I love old songs that transport me into a place and time of embrace.

I love unexpected hugs in a middle of a talk when it has nothing to do with touching and the skin of another amps and vibrates from the shock of grabbing onto it.

I love chasing sunrises and sunsets when the colors remind me of God’s masterpiece.

I love the perfect cup of cafe con leche and bringing it back to bed as I snuggle for just a little longer with my thoughts and prayers.

These are non sequential moments that open me up, gather the spiritual side of me, and then drop me into another place that I cannot verbalize. They touch and burn and linger for a while allowing for the complete gratitude of Divinity. And like that, I love the way some folks can hold a glance without saying much and hand a smile that contagiously plants itself on my face.

I love feeling the earth on my bare feet when the soil is moist and cold while reminding me to ground my scattered soul. I love seeing the light in others that speaks louder than anything they can share with me, or seeing their angels and ancestors watching over them. I love sitting with anticipation each morning and waiting for light to break through the darkness while I say my prayers, light my candles and wish for goodness in the day. I also love how when someone is sleeping they can murmur a part of their dreams while inviting me into their dreamland.

And, one of my favorite things is the smell of truth and authenticity when someone has no agenda except being in my presence just because they feel loved and appreciated. These things happen without my knowing. They just bring me back to the present as a gift from the Heavens.

May you find joy in your favorite things while attracting more of them!

Oh… and I love YOU~

Millie