We need tribes in our lives

friends

There is an urgency for connection with each other. These are not easy times.  We are on the edge of greatness and chaos. It’s up to us to change how the journey will end.  We are the present and the future. There are folks losing their jobs, their homes, and families. There are others sitting alone in a hospital room watching a loved one fight for their lives. While some others are in the petty claws of political and religious arguments on social media…life is happening out there. Life is happening in here. Life is a series of ongoing movements and motions reminding us that we get to pick the perception and reaction. I don’t know why bad things happen. I don’t know why anything happens. I would like to believe it’s for the evolution of our higher self. I would like to believe it’s part of a larger design. Who truly knows at this point? I have to be led by faith and that onset programming of a higher body of spirit guiding me. 

What I do know is that we need one another. We need tribes of people who raise and join us in our causes and dreams. We need love. We need to know that we aren’t alone in the path of obstacles and challenges. We need to get out of our own head space and truly feel the vibration of another who is part of the overall mass consciousness shifting for a better world. People enter your life for various reasons. They might not stay forever. They might just be passing by. But, their presence exists for a reason. Sometimes they appear to mirror the things you need to work on, and other times to enhance your greatness. When we hurt, we end up hurting another and vice versa. We are not perfect and tribes help us see this truth.

We are made to run in packs like wolves while watching each others’ backs. We need tribes and warriors in our lives to bare our vulnerability, hurts, and passions. We need to gather in moments of weakness and pain. We have to rejoice in moments of joy and love. When one person is in danger of overexposure and breakdowns we need someone to hold us up. If you don’t have this then you need to find your tribe because you aren’t meant to be alone carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. We are all connected in this place by a thread of humanity through love. Do not let ego tell you that you do not need anyone. It’s magnificent to feel the sense of unity even from thousands of miles away. And, yes, it’s heartbreaking when the tribe challenges and changes over time. It feels like you won’t find another. You will. We are always learning who we are through the revolving door of people and relationships.

Those who say, “I don’t need anyone. I am okay alone. Having friends requires too much work.” These folks put up a wall around them and then wonder why they are unhappy, why they aren’t given intimate attention, and why they can’t connect? You will always get what you desire…especially if it’s negative. Whenever I hear these statements I am truly happy and sad for that person. I am happy that they feel content, but I am sad that they are missing out in the beauty of having others support and love them. We are the sum of our experiences. We are legends because of each triumph, failure, obstacle, success and connections with one another. We are not meant to be alone in our grief or losses. We hold communities, families and the world with connection. Humanity wants to be heard. We require the sharing of stories, the acknowledgment for our lives, and love without judgment through listening. This is who we are. There’s an urgency to be accepted, approved, and recognized. There’s an ache to be understood in a time that things are misinterpreted through the greatness of technology.

Hold a friend’s hand in need. Hug your lover as if it was the last time. Kiss those kids tightly. Smile at a stranger. Open doors for an elderly person. Compliment a cashier. Delete the toxic folks out of your life. If they don’t raise you then they have taught you something. It’s time to move on. You will hurt, break and then reconnect with those parts of yourself and others that need more growth. Use your energy wisely. Get out of your head and lovingly give to another who needs to feel that the illusion of loneliness is not drowning their existence. It matters. It all matters to that one human who is struggling with life. Stop the craziness of self doubt and anxiety because there is no way you leave this life alive. Find your tribe and be grateful for them. When we share among others we see that we are not alone in our stories. Everyone is experiencing something similar. Stopping ourselves from reaching out (because of fear, shame, and embarrassment) is an injustice to our spirits. Loneliness, sadness, despair, and so much more are compositions to our journeys but we can still reach out with our love and feel the comfort of another holding us up. We need strong tribes to keep moving through life. You are not alone unless you consciously choose to be. Open your heart…your tribe is waiting for you!

To find our tribe means finding people we can learn from, people who are better at some things than we are, people who have something to teach. We say we want it, but how many of us fear being a beginner more than loneliness and much more than being in the wrong crowd? There is a strange comfort, a sense of safety, to suffering and loneliness. To be happy, to find our family, we must be willing to let that go.” ~Vironika Tugaleva

The Guests

Lately, when talking with friends and family, I keep hearing the words “displaced, misplaced, misalignment, and disconnected.” It seems to be a universal theme among the tribe. But again, it could be just like when you buy a car and then realize everyone has it. You hadn’t noticed it before and now that you have it you are aware of its existence.

I noticed a giant shift towards the end of 2011. I have never bought into the 2012 cosmic changes with or without the Mayan calendar. I don’t believe the world will end on 12/21/12 at 11:11PM. I want to believe that these massive shifts in emotions are due to a necessary alignment of our spiritual connections. And, yes, lately there is a huge sense of displacement. At first it was just settling into the slowness of our business, the holidays, and prelude of winter. But now it seems to be something esoteric. I don’t know if there is a theory for it all. I have to admit that I don’t know what it is. I do know that others are feeling it as well. Some just don’t know what to name it. And, I hate to even put a label on the feelings. I can only speak for myself. These holidays just seem so different. I have to work extremely hard to feel grounded.

It’s always easy to talk about changes, whether or not they are profound shifts in our lives when we can see them. However, when those changes can’t be seen but felt with anxiety, I believe it is allowing fear to take over. We all want and crave for better things. Recently, I feel like I am waiting for a bus to arrive to take me elsewhere. I have no clue what the destination or route I am to take. It’s just a feeling of anticipation. No matter how many times I go hiking, walking, or remove myself from this unknown impatience it seems to come looking for me. Meditation, contemplation and prayer help for a little while. Keeping busy seems to stop the feeling but I need grounding and avoiding the feeling seems to put me in a worst twist. I am learning to be present with the carousel of emotions.

Fear is like that. I read somewhere that fear = false evidence appearing real. If that’s so then the anticipation is a form of an unknown psychosis of my creation. I don’t really know what I fear because I am not anxious about anything in particular. Whatever it is I need to just invite it in and honor it. I’ve come to the conclusion to just sit with the displacement when it arises. Like Rumi’s poem:

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

~ Rumi ~

I will sit with each incline, letting me momentarily feel its awareness. That’s all I can do when I can’t find anything else. Being grateful and allowing each visit from the emotions teaches me something. Perhaps in that space I can finally see that I have a lesson and not feel displaced. The beauty in our lives is that thoughts live in our perception. When we are conscious and mindful we can receive those feelings as guests: feed them, entertain them for a bit and then send them off on their merry way. Meantime, I have to remind myself that I am fine and that this, too, shall pass! Tomorrow is a new day.