What You Want

If I ask you what you want how long will it take you to answer me without giving me what you DO NOT want? Most folks know exactly what they want to get rid of, or move from, or what is shattering their souls into pieces. It’s hard to come up with what you want with complete confirmation because maybe it’s out of your perception. Maybe it feels like a fantasy. Or maybe it is just hard to reach it.

I can always give a list of the things I don’t want really fast. Those are the things I carry and I don’t want the continuous feeling of struggle. Then I immediately become conscious of my negative thought process and shift to all that I want. I begin to feel the magic of creation.

Sometimes we need someone to just ask the questions. Someone to be there to hold our hand and nod and smile. And perhaps this is what we all want. We want to know that what we desire is of value. Even if it sounds silly. Speak it. Share it. Allow for it to materialize. There is power in your words and the moment you verbalize them, or write them, they begin to birth into reality.

What do you want? Take paper and pen. Make your list. Start to visualize it. Start to birth your dreams. I promise you that once you put all your emotions into it, without doubt or fear, you become the mystical powerhouse of creation. You align with divine forces.

Live your Best Life

Hello sweet loving souls! Stepping away sometimes creates a different energy to move into a truth that otherwise gets distorted with opinions and criticism. Usually it’s our own judgment. In order to obtain your goals you must step away from judgment. No other way around it. We get what we create: drama, weight, health issues, money, and whatever thought you are obsessing on. The surest way to get really sick is holding on to resentments. Let that shit go! Someone hurt you…yes, see all the sides of the story. Someone criticized you…yes, you can see how hurt they are in their own stories while pointing the finger at you. Own your part in everything. Take full responsibility in the saga. Realize that it’s all a matter of perception. Also recognize how pivotal those lessons are for the evolution of your soul.

This is YOUR life. Don’t you forget that. It’s yours to live however you want with whom ever you please at whatever time you desire.

You have a goal, dammit go for it! Even when your ego is bitchy and negative. Because guess what? You create through your vibe. What you put forth with high vibration and frequencies is what makes the heart fill up with joy and becomes yours. The only obstacle in your way is YOU and how you perceive your choices. Are you worth it? Do you deserve this? Do you really want it? Get pen and paper and write the things you desire. Thank the Universe, God, the great mysteries for it all. Be grateful for them already being in your life even if you find it impossible. Do not try and control the outcome. Just BE! I promise that you will get that or better. Have a blessed day. Go create a life full of magic and mysticism.

Healing

If someone triggers you figure out what is that unhealed part of you that needs release. I get triggered by folks who are constantly judging and criticizing others. I had a mom who did it all day, every day. So when I am among others who are in full nasty judgment mode I shut down. I get angry. And guess what? I start to judge them. So what triggers me is the unhealed parts and I do it myself towards them.

Your job is to decipher what and who you keep in your life that make you feel good. Let go of those things and people who make you feel otherwise.

Inside You are the Answers

There is a place inside of you that isn’t part of this world. It is the entire universe. You reside in it dormant waiting to remember your power and enchantment. You believe you are separate from all but you are the ALL.

That place is of great mysteries.

I reach it in meditation. I visit in sleep. I am reminded through dejavú and other synchronized events. And in the moment of awareness I am magic. I can see how fast I manifest and create what I desire. I trust that every fiber of my being is aligned to my dreams.

I forget at times. I get sucked into this human dimension that is influenced by stimulation 24/7. Then I find myself spinning until I stop and return to my equilibrium. To my truth. To my worth. To my knowing.

And it’s different for each one of us. It’s our own unique fingerprint.

So….Stop giving your power away to others. Stop believing that you are separate from Divinity. There is magic in your veins, in your cells, in every single particle of your existence.

Love yourself enough to return to its source because when you believe in yourself, the way you believe in others, you are unstoppable. And that’s when you begin to understand your purpose. That’s when you find yourself on top of your own universe.

The Awakened Child

awakened spiritual child

A few mornings ago, on our way to school, our 5 y/o tells me that she had a bad dream during the night. I asked her to share it.

“I was taken by a big skinny black man and he was going to kill me. He was yelling horrible ugly words at me. I was scared cause I knew he really wanted me dead. I am not allowed to repeat those bad words.”

I reassured her that it was a nightmare and that no one would ever hurt her.

“Mama, it felt so real!”

I held onto the stirring wheel holding back tears. This was no nightmare. This was a memory that has been locked into her cellular memories.

Kali’s biological dad wanted to kill her when she was three months old. Her depiction of him was exact. She’s technically my granddaughter. Her biological dad hurt my daughter while trying to strangle her in a public place and she was able to come undone. The paramedics were called and he took Kali and left the scene. She was sent to the hospital. He disappeared with Kali for over 24 hours.

My daughter, whom I adopted when she was 9 y/o from Romania, called me from Florida to tell me he had her and she was scared he would kill her. Luckily she had angels protecting her. He was drunk and loaded up on drugs when he walked into the police station many hours later and asked them to take Kali away from him before he would kill her. He was arrested then and the rest is a matter of divine intervention. My husband (then he was my fiance) and I rushed to Florida from North Carolina and picked them both. I was also blessed that my in-laws took care of the situation until we got there.

My daughter is mentally ill and mentally disabled and unstable. She cannot raise a child. In the midst of her move we realized she was also hurting Kali. The Department of Social Services got involved and after two months of investigation we were able to get Kali into our homes. The horrific details of what Kali endured in the first five months of her life are inconceivable.

She was a scared little baby. She wouldn’t sleep. She was shell shocked (and still is with loud noises). She had been shaken so much we had to get her tested. He had HIV and we had her tested several times just to make sure we didn’t get her sick if we got a cold. We needed to be sure of how to protect her from anything else. Most of all we had to ensure her little soul that she was safe and loved.

Kali is unaware of her history. My daughter lost her rights a year later and we began the adoption process. We, my husband and I, are her parents. We are her safety net. Kali has never once asked why we are white and she’s black. She’s never wondered why I have so many other kids. She doesn’t ask why her baby brother didn’t have a mommy who wanted him when we picked him up a year ago from Florida.

On this particular early morning while she shared her dream I white-knuckled the stirring wheel and began to cry. I couldn’t help it. The human in me felt her pain and fear. She said, “Mama, it’s okay, it was just a bad dream like you said.”

“Kali Bug, daddy and I will make sure this never happens to you.”

“I know. You love me. I also know he doesn’t love himself. I don’t know who the man was but he definitely doesn’t like himself at all. I hope he can get help. He was so scary!”

She went silent in the backseat. Her baby brother, 2 y/o, interrupted the moment with the most genuine words, “Sissy, I woovveeee you. You my sissy.”

The awakened child doesn’t need much to show up. They are able to verbalize emotions with ease because they feel a sense of freedom in sharing. They aren’t here to merely exist. They are here to raise the vibration of this planet. They have come in with clarity. I am no expert on these highly-conscious children coming into our world. But, I am aware of their quick release of traumas stored in their cellular memories.

Kali has on many occasions told her daddy that she liked it better when she was the daddy and he was the kid. She has recounted many memories from other times and places. Their bond is extraordinary. And this is was makes her incredibly wise beyond her years. We encourage her to voice out her dreams and whatever else comes up.

I am a student of both of my grandchildren who are in our care. I am privileged to be entrusted to raise them in the most conscious manner. My husband and I have taken this job as the most important one we will ever have. I am blessed and continue to just show up to whatever they need to teach me daily. And one thing I have learned through all of these children who have passed through my home is that love is the thread that truly ties us together. Whether they are mentally ill or they are struggling with their own demons, love is what bonds us to each other and the rest of the world. Love, patience, acceptance, and acknowledgment is what they need to continue opening up to a world that needs them. They are the shape shifters and warriors of light that are transforming our world.

No Explanations Needed

Several years ago I owned a motel/retreat center. I met so many amazing folks. There was this gentleman (in every sense of the word) who would call me up every few months to book the same room. He would ride up on his beautiful motorcycle for the weekend and just stay on the property. He would sit alone around the lake and smoke his cigars. Then he would leave and give me an idea of when he would be back.

He was in the banking world by profession. He wore a suit and was distinguished. When he would ride up the mountains he wore his leather jacket. He had tattoos all down his arms and legs but you would never know it with his business attire.

He came to unwind and find peace from the big city. He would take these trips alone since his wife didn’t like the mountains.

We would often sit and chat around the campfire on Saturday nights. What I learned was never to underestimate the content of a book by its cover. You cannot judge someone by the way they dress. He was still the same person all tattooed that he was in a bank. He shared with me that the older he got (he was in his late 40’s) the more he became who he was meant to be. What he did during the week, in the corporate world, was not who he was. It was how he made a living to support his family and to pay for his expensive motorcycles. He said that people reacted to him quite differently when his “costume” would come off and the real him would be exposed.

He never cared what others thought because if he had to give explanations for who he was then they weren’t worth his time. He truly lived by this golden rule. He had been educated by Ivy League schools but he wasn’t willing to conform to the norm.

Throughout humanity we judge others based on immediate perception. And we can only meet another at their level of awareness. So never waste your time having to explain who you are. EVER. As long as you are clear of your authentic truth you owe no one an explanation for who you are and what you do.

A New Day

It’s a new day. It’s a new opportunity.

I have spent several hours in meditation throughout the night. I’ve gone deep into the wilderness and other realms. I have found that there is static all over the place. Something is happening. It’s massive in both the dark and light…the duality.

There is a collective sadness. There is much anger. There is exhaustion. And add that times millions and we have an epidemic. But we also have massive release on a spiritual and cellular level.

I don’t know how to help. I keep asking guidance. I don’t know what I can write that will help start the release and healing for those who need it. I don’t know how to hold you if I’m here and you are there. But…

I believe in mindfulness. In sacredness. In the profound effects of love and forgiveness. I believe in Divine guidance and universal forces. I also believe that we can raise the energy to joy and compassion. We can shift.

Find others who are vibrating at a higher frequency. Spend time healing while doing things that bring you gratitude. Work on you and attract the things you want. We always have choices to remain or move into a new emotion. We truly have the most amazing gift and ability to evolve at all times…and grow into newness.

I cannot tell you how to begin healing. Or letting go. Or surrendering the hurt and anger. I can, however, hold space with you from here.

I feel that is one way we begin collectively healing ourselves and others.

I might sound like a childish broken record but just love. Love with what and who and where you are. Love heals. You cannot love and hate simultaneously. You cannot stand in darkness and call it love. Compassion and kindness are flames of pure light. Let’s start there.

I am holding you…from here. In this realm and others. Prayers are waves of yummy frequencies. They reach the heavens and all the places beyond.

Join me…with each conscious breath stating the love to the world and we will make ripples in the fabric of the universe. It starts with the energy of gratitude and joy and mostly…love.

I love you from here and there and everywhere.

(Image taken yesterday morning over the Blue Ridge Mtns)