You Are Responsible

This morning I blew a breaker fuse in the second floor of the house turning on too many heaters. I was dressed to get to work early so I decided to go down to the basement and switch it back on for my lovies. In order to access our basement you have to walk out of the front door and around the house to the back. It was freezing…literally. I opened up the basement, turned on the lights, took care of the breaker and locked up. As I was locking up the basement something happened. I lost touch with this reality, or better yet, I had two sets of timelines overlap. I was seeing through a thin veil another active moment happening simultaneously. This is happening quite often, usually I am in meditation. This was me being quite present in the cold. It was quick. I stood there contemplating if maybe I was having a seizure or stroke…(cause I know it wasn’t a psychotic break).

The ethereal world is charged more than usual. It is happening continuously with alternate realities, endings and beginnings. There are many folks telling me they are losing lapses of time or moving through a time warp where they arrive to a place quicker than it is possible. Others have shared with me that they are accessing memories from an alternate time and they can see how things are affected through our conscious decisions. I am reading some fantastic occurrences that make me giddy and bring me into a state of childlike wonder. 

We are experiencing things that aren’t easy to logically explain, including quantum leaps and multiverse travels, especially during waking moments. 

Are we awakening to a new earth or merely aligning with what is true? I don’t really know. I don’t have answers. I work in the mental health field so I see a lot of people who are touching upon things that aren’t fragments of illnesses but openings to something that cannot be explained. Our society is also shifting perceptions to what is mystical and what is not. But who is to judge? Just because you don’t experience it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist!

This is a magical time in the history of humanity. We are being authentic and honest regardless of opinions. We are declaring our worth while removing the price tags others have placed on us. We are opening up to the mystical parts of our journeys. It’s beautiful to witness and experience. There is a massive conscious shift happening all over and some folks cannot deal with the consequences of what may happen if they relinquish control. Fear takes over.

Your brain entertains what it has as a point of reference. If you haven’t experienced something supernatural it cannot perceive it. In order to move past this programming and Matrix you have to be willing to witness things that have no concrete logic. You must return to childlike beliefs that anything and everything is possible. Denying yourself this is an injustice to your spiritual evolution. When you believe in the unseen you can begin to perceive it.

In two weeks I will have reached the fourth year of my near-death experience. The next day at the hospital the neurologist came to speak with me. She shared the deadly truth of stress. She looked at me searching for answers to what happened to me and my body the prior day. She said, “You don’t know what you don’t know until you do.” It was profound. I got it. We don’t know what we don’t know until we actually do and then it is our responsibility to stay aware and open to it. If we go back to sleep we will continue to die a mundane death without exploring our purpose.

Create from a place of love and light. Move the programming out of the way. Return to your magic and sparkles. Continue to vibrate at a higher frequency without fear. You got this. We all do. This life is a game of perception geared to challenge your mindset. You get to decide how you play it. I believe in you.

Remember Bliss and Love


In the core of the heart there is freedom. There’s no room for fear, second guessing, anxiety, doubts, and uncertainty. We are made in divine light that holds clarity through love and acceptance. And in this love we are embraced to believe in the power of awareness. We are made of love, to love, and be loved. Nothing else can live within the conscious beat of existence. Let’s give that love our undivided attention and release all the programming we have been forced to believe: control is a state of mind. 

We forget to play because of responsibilities. We forget to be in the moment because of other issues. We forget that in order to reach the highest vibration of love we must let go of paradigms and enjoy the process of living. Every minute counts. 

I love children because they resonate love. They live in the core of Divine energy. There is so much to learn from their ability to live in the moment. Let’s move through that awareness of loving ourselves and others for who they are and what they are. Go out there and get some crazy hair, laugh, sing and dance in the rain, be in love with you and all that your heart wants. Go blow bubbles and make mud pies. Talk with strangers and allow the magic of this world dictate the moment. 

Freedom is love. You are the substance of light and love…always. Bring more childlike moments into your life and raise the happy hormone levels. 

My heart extends out to you. We are all in this together. Have a beautiful week, my friends. Do something new to honor your existence even in the smallest of ways and be present with bliss. Mucho love!

A Pause


I’ve had a heck of a week and busy weekend. But, I don’t want to forget to celebrate this amazing life by staying present. I have to make sure to be mindful of those around me who are not on the same path, or who believe in things I might not understand, or who are just unhappy and at this moment can’t see light. No! I don’t want to forget that everyone has a story and regardless how busy I am, or continue to be, I can pause and thank a person for being in my life. 
On the way into work at 5:30am Friday I stopped at Starbucks for coffee. There was this bodacious gorgeous young woman waiting for her order. She must have been at least 6’3″ or taller. Oh my gosh she was standing there in all her beauty and I went up to her and said, “You are one of the most beautiful souls I’ve seen in the past few days.” She looked down at me smiling and shocked. She was speechless. So I said it again so she could take it all in. She paused. Her eyes teared up. She said that she had not heard that in a long time. 

She told me she was a first grade teacher. We talked about the dedication and importance of teaching. Her green eyes lit and her face became soft. She was just magnificent. I hugged her tightly. She cried again. 

And this is the pause. This is the exquisiteness of connecting and providing a reminder to a another of their presence. This is all we require to feel connected. 

Do it. Be it. Send love. I am always shocked and deeply surprised that most folks don’t see their beauty. They don’t see their greatness. They don’t see others acknowledging from a distance. 

Have a wonderful evening. Make this week extra special and extraordinary.

20 Seconds of Kindness

I ventured down the mountain this morning to run errands with the little one. I stopped at the Starbucks inside of Target. No one was in there. I asked the lovely barista how she was doing. She said, “Fine!”
I said, “Let’s try that again. How are you really doing? And let’s not use the word ‘fine.’ Give me something that tells me the beauty in you.”
She looked at me with her big blue eyes and stopped the busyness.
“Wow! Thank you for asking. I am lovely today. I feel like I am in a good place. It’s a Good day. Easy morning. Is it cold outside?”
I answered, “It’s dropping quickly!”
She asked what I wanted and I looked at her again asking about her day. If she was working a long shift? If she gets tired of coffee? Small talk but it allowed a small window into her world.
As she made my drink she said that it’s so difficult to connect with people. Everyone asks how they are doing but no one cares or really listens. It’s as if people are ants moving along a colony rushing to nowhere really!
We shared pleasantries. She was surprised at Kali’s generous manners and comments. Kali said to Amanda, the barista, that she had pretty eyes. The young woman laughed.
Here is the thing I find shocking and a bit disturbing: how much time does it take for anyone to really stop, ask someone about their day, and share a compliment or kindness? Are we really that lost in technology, or the addiction of chaos, that we have forgotten to be present with everyone around us? I get it! I get busy too. But, somehow I have learned to stay in the moment whenever I am out in public. And if there is no one behind me I take a little longer. It takes twenty seconds to say something nice!
My life changed drastically three years ago while leaving this human body and returning. I promised myself that whoever is in front of me, whether it’s a cashier, a homeless person, a child, an elderly soul, or anyone I would try to stay present. I would truly listen and notice their energy. Most of the time I can live up to my promise. Some days are a little challenging but it is then that I make a point of breathing the love from Humanity and allowing the flow of our existence move through me. I would be delusional to believe that our energies and frequencies aren’t connected. I have seen way too much to deny another a little attention.
Every single day you get a huge opportunity to be a kind human being. You get to practice spirituality and compassion with another. You get to be in the scope of Divinity. Let’s be mindful. We aren’t robots. You never know how that other person needs your words. This is our playground and we are here to share it with others. We are also responsible for teaching our children good manners and to also be respectful and kind with
Strangers.
I love you. Be kind. Be the best version of your humanness possible. Stop whenever possible and really notice the world around you!

Listening with your heart

listening

I lost hearing in my right ear the summer of 2015. It happened like a giant boom in my head. I woke up with static and then it felt like an explosion. It didn’t hurt. It didn’t sting. It just felt like nothing was coming in. A doctor checked it out and suggested drops. There was no permanent damage. I feel I just stopped listening to things that were happening around me. I started to tune out and it became permanent.

Throughout the last year and a half I’ve had moments when I feel sensations. I’ve had energy work done to it and sound has started to move through in those moments. I don’t really pay attention to it until someone is mumbling, or they speak really low, or they aren’t in front of me so I can read their lips. That’s when I realize that the sound is being muffled.

I have learned to listen attentively. I’ve always listened to silence so this is not unusual. Because, I feel, more than I hear, the listening part doesn’t affect me. However, sometimes I really really really want to get lost in a conversation and if there are too many voices going on at once I zone out because one ear cannot hold onto everything at once. In order to really listen I must be present.

This is with everything in our lives. It isn’t just about listening or hearing. It’s also about seeing, smelling, and tasting. I live in a world of words, and when I cannot decipher what is being said, I get frustrated. When I ask someone to repeat themselves sometimes the message gets tangled because that person is now frustrated for having to say it again. I have noticed that my left ear has lost some of its power to fully listen. It now takes all of me to be present when someone is speaking to me and I want to hear every syllable…because what is being said is important.

Being attentive is an art I am learning with this small challenge. I must partake completely rather than multitask. I must be in complete focus to hear the things said and those that escape the ears. Losing my hearing has also been a gift in the most loving and powerful ways. It has allowed me to stop everything else around me in order to see, feel, and digest what is being said. It has also magnified other senses around me to make up for loss. This has been magnificent.

I urge you to be present when another is speaking. And if I, or anyone else, asks that you repeat yourself please be patient. The moment someone who can’t hear feels another person’s frustration everything shuts down. I get embarrassed often when someone shows me their frustration for repetition, so I’ve learned to nod and smile rather than continue asking. Somethings get lost in that translation.

Listen with your heart…and the ears never need to find sound. These days I am listening with my emotions rather than anything else. Even in your silence I can decipher what you are feeling…so if I hold your hand for no reason it is because my heart feels you and hears your aches. It’s in those intimate moments when you are near me that I can truly see your words in the language of love. I love you. Have a blessed week, dear friends!

Unwinding


I have chosen to unwind today in a way I rarely allow myself to do so. I am deeply grateful for this very second. As I sit on my porch overlooking the magnificent autumn on these mountains, I feel gratitude nudging and tugging on my skin. I feel the air cooling my “knowing.” I can hear my heart escalating to each word I sound out with love. I am exactly where I am suppose to be in life. There is no more rushing. The rattle of fallen leaves sound like a river flowing around me. I am forever grateful for this very moment in life. I know that things needed clearing to get here. I feel the essence of me waking into something richer and newer in experiences. Everything I have learned in this lifetime has been a preparation for my love affair with the Divine. I am not a religious person. I am someone who lives by faith in allowing. I don’t know if there is a man in the sky looking down at me. But, I know that there is definitely something larger than me guiding the best of me at all times. When I leave the state of thoughts and analytical chit chat, I get to witness the enchantment of the God within me.
My ultimate goal is to love unconditionally, my journey is to always find peace even in the midst of chaos, and my lesson is spiritual awareness in every second of this incarnation. I feel that LOVE is my ultimate religion and spiritual movement. That’s my calling. Sometimes it’s very difficult, especially when the person is not allowing love. However, on most days, love is the light that guides me to choose humanity and compassion. And this is what brings me joy.
Find yourself in the middle of somewhere within you that can guide you to your destiny of joy. It’s never easy to acknowledge and accept the things that cause us grief and shame. But, that’s also a shift in perspective and we have to own our truth and experiences.
Have a great evening! It truly is magical!!!!

Let it RAIN

let it rain

An amazing friend, Aubrey, came by today. If I believed in gurus he would be mine.  His perception and teachings of the world put things in a magical perspective for me…always. Just having him here for a little while was enlightening. I don’t say that lightly. He has life experiences that go beyond what most people witness on a day-to-day basis. He works with mental health and helping beautiful souls get back on their feet. He sees brokenness, desperation, and destitution in many levels. In reality I am grateful for the support system of amazing friends who are like-minded individuals with much to offer in the area of healing. Aubrey is on top of the list.  Listening to him always puts my life lessons in perspective. My stories are nothing. They aren’t the nuts and bolts of anything mechanical that can’t be fixed by me. I am self-sufficient and grateful for each path that has allowed me to develop consciously into a spiritual walk.

Aubrey has always studied Buddhism and has learned to incorporate it into psychology. This is a philosophical teaching that I, too, share with a passionate interest. As an avid reader I am drawn to mindfulness, metaphysical and conscious awareness of daily living. Even with the theories and theological objectivity I find it challenging to put into practice every single moment! But today, he mentioned the Buddhist principle of R.A.I.N. and how it has allowed him to stop and see things in his life with a mindfulness attitude.

R = Recognize.  Recognizing whatever is bothering you and reacting to it firsthand is pivotal.

A = Accepting or Allowing.  Whatever is happening or occurring you must take accountability.  You are only responsible for you and your reactions to things.

I = Investigate or Inquire.  Analyze what is happening and question all possible routes to your issues. Why is this annoying me?  How did I allow this issue to jolt me this way?  Be your own investigative reporter for your story.

N= Not-identify.  Accept that a feeling is just that…an emotion.  Do not take it or own it.  This is the hardest part for most of us.  We are so self-judgmental.  We keep telling ourselves the stories of what has been programmed into our little heads.  And, we choose to believe the worst of everything.  By not identifying you can allow the situation to pass.

I don’t know if Aubrey saw the lights come on or the bells ringing as he finished his sharing and his insightful teachings. These bells sounded like cathedral chimes in my head. I am deeply aware that we are only able to tell the stories that we believe of ourselves (most are pretty darn depressing and negative). We are the truth of each experience but only to the Ego. In spirit we are nothing but the journey. This is why I pray and meditate each day. It is a struggle to be present at times. It is an ongoing exploration of mindfulness especially when there is so much going on in my life. This is exactly when I need to be in deeper awareness. When things are going great there is no need to fill the space with this commitment. We cannot move forward without recognizing and accepting those things that eat at us. Challenges and obstacles reshape us. They force us to inquire about what the soul wants and needs. Ultimately it is not anyone’s business what you think of me and vice versa. The only opinion worth keeping is the utmost value I should be placing on the self.  End of story.

A life without prayer, contemplation, meditation and/or daily self-reflection becomes an empty shell. If you cannot find the time to do this then you are not living authentically. The body needs rest.  The mind needs acknowledgment. And, the spirit needs reflection.  All three bodies need maintenance otherwise we are acting like robots waiting on the next cue to keep moving forward. What do you want? What calls for you? What brings you joy? What is bothering you or eating at you? Why is this important? Why are you allowing another person to dictate your feelings? Whenever you think of this how does your gut feel? If you don’t follow the whispers of spirit they will get louder through illness, ailments, and breakdowns. Follow your yearnings, accept your truths, be kind to your spirit, and participate on self-love. Be the love that you want from others.

The space and times of being alone to contemplate, pray or meditate do not need to be drastic. Take 10 minutes and move outward. Live for your spirit. Trust the whispers. Let it R.A.I.N.  Let it pour through a way that is priceless to your divinity. And, most of all make time to laugh! Laughter uncovers the depth of hurt, malice, and brokenness. You cannot be joyous and depress at the same time. Choose wisely through mindfulness. You are here now and that’s priceless!

(thank you, Aubrey, for being such a beautiful light in my journey)

Entertaining Angels

entertaining angels

I sit in the Starbucks cafe at Barnes and Noble. A group of mentally challenged sweethearts has come in with a special school. They are going through the magazines discussing the stars on them, the President, the cars, and so many other child-like messages. They are giggling at the pretty pictures. These are folks in their thirties and older. I marvel at their abilities to stay in this moment. They are so-ever present. It’s beautiful! I am reminded of my own children with disabilities. I recall similar scenarios throughout the years. I feel admiration for their courage to walk among others who judge in this world. This is not an easy place to be when “normal” is not only a setting on the dryer.

I am smiling as I look up from writing this and a young man in the group catches my eyes. He shy-fully laughs, looking away, and then returning my gaze. He giggles and shares a secret with another. Such pure innocence. I am in love. I have fallen into the depth of love right now as I continue writing and smiling. I keep glancing and smiling with them. I am in love with each one of them for their vulnerability and coming into this world dependent of others while teaching us about humanity. If we care to learn, they are there giving out important and significant lessons. They are the rare ones who get lost in our society. Today these folks are my most valuable teachers. These loveys have become my mentors for a little while.

I felt misplaced all morning and had to come into town to find clarity, but right now I’ve found my place among Angels. And that’s always such a magical place to be. May you be entertained by pure divine light today. May you be open to all the amazing-ness, delicious-ness, and ever-ness that those around you can provide.