Just this Moment

There is an easy flow to this morning. The schools do not open till later due to the ice and cold weather. By this time I’m at work but today I sit across a playpen with a little boy eating his cereal and a little girl snuggled on the sofa watching her favorite cartoon. I never imagine my life at fifty like this.

I actually never imagined my life at fifty…at all. I didn’t think I would be here by then.

We have little deaths in our timelines. We get sick or completely reinvent ourselves. We move or stay or just wake up one day feeling different. It’s all magical and exactly how we intend it to become.

A million contracts are paid in our lives. Those contracts we designed before even incarnating. The lessons were created to expand our consciousness. The journey is up to us.

We hold the wheel. We maneuver ourselves to the next destination, watching carefully for mud slides or cracks on the road. The older we get the more aware we become…at least I hope that for everyone.

So this morning, all plans are out the door. I need to go see clients. They will wait for later. I need to be at a meeting which may be done through conference call. Everything is interchangeable, relatable and temporary. Right now I am exactly where I’m suppose to be.

I’m here watching the light hit the trees out back. I am watching the frost swirl with the wind in the porch. I am snuggled by one cat and another walking around wondering why we are still home.

The simplicity of life is in these moments. Things can change in an instance. And it’s okay. We breathe through it. We become grateful to the present. We are gifted these moments to take in what’s important and release what is not.

Right now it is me and my kiddos holding on to a few hours of free time.

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Get Lost

This morning on the way down the mountain there was a traffic accident. I had a choice to sit through it or take a road less traveled on an adventure. Yeah, you already know what I did! I took a road into an unknown destination. And, the magic began to appear through every curb and dip into an area I had never visited. I was going down the rabbit hole, and I just knew I would never be the same again. Each scene took my breath way. Today is just lovely!

That’s the beauty of taking adventures…it’s the getting lost part that’s mystical. I live for the excitement of finding treasures through serendipity. I began to see farm houses with mountain views, horses on scenery that belongs in movies, and endless amount of greenery. It was an explosion of wonder and all this so close to my house…and yet…so very far. All of this in a world of its own.

These are the moments my husband refers to as Millie’s Fairy-Ass Moments when the “aha’s,” “wow’s,” “look at that,” “Oh My God!” and so many other childlike words escape me. These are the moments I drive through the curbs yelling, “Weeeeee!” It’s in those specific moments that I am reminded that the gypsy in me is always ready to take flight and explore. These mountains have a way of turning you around even when you think you are going the right direction. The longer I drove the clearer the awareness arrived, “This is what I want to do. I want to write and travel. I want to hear stories from strangers in all corners of the world while giving our little girl an experience of a lifetime.” This morning brought up that confirmation that things need to work towards that so I can get lost without an agenda. I need more of this because it makes me come alive.

When was the last time you got lost? Do you enjoy experiencing new places or does it cause you anxiety? Can you get up on a moment’s notice or do you need planning? I urge you to the road less travel. Don’t have a plan. Enjoy one morning without it. Make time breathe outdoors, talk to strangers, and share in this space with get to call home.

Knight of Nights

knight

I wake to arms

wrapping me,

gathering thoughts

of where I am,

who I am,

and what day this is.

I hold back,

tightly,

as if the wind would

swift me

away

and I no longer had

the grounding of you

shielding me from the world.

The heat from the bed

penetrates

silently

draping us both,

whispering

little secrets from our travels.

This is the way

every morning should be welcomed:

in the arms of a knight

illuminating light

into my spirit.

In Darkness


I lay…

As darkness embraces

Every part of my skin.

I breathe deeply

Thinking of you

Holding my soul

In your hands again.
I feel your touch,

Your desire,

Your love,

Of what was once.
I feel the light of the moon,

The stars,

Infinite galaxies guiding me

Back to what was us.
I am missing a part of me.

I try to shake it off,

Disregard it,

Substitute it,

Excuse it…

To no avail.
I have nothing left

But memories.

I have everything left

But moments.
You are here with me

In this darkness

Holding me as I fall

Back into the arms

Of who you were once

In some parallel life.
But I lay

Alone

Still missing a part

Of my essence

That I gave to you

Long ago.

Peaceful Flurries

from phone 053

Snow falls peacefully.

Wind blows fast and hard.

I hate missing you

throughout this chill.

Winter has taken over

inside of me,

numbing what I know,

freezing all reality

as I stare into the coldness.

Silence appears

laying in the whiteness…

I wish I was snow

and you

the shovel scooping,

unearthing,

gathering

me up towards you.

The beauty of moments

is that you never know

when you are making

a cherished memory.

Mine hold many of us

frozen somewhere in time.

The Life in You

lovers in a cafe

When the waiter comes
to our table
does he witness a woman
immersed in love
or a couple enthralled
in the hallucinations
of lust and desire?
Under the sunlight,
sunglasses hiding my truth,
I wish you could see what
I see in you
as I smile and laugh at
all the goofiness
that brings me joy.
The life in you transports
sonnets, music, and art
right to my inner core.
I wish I could reflect your spirit,
gathering the kindness,
gentleness, and humility
but I think you wouldn’t
believe what you see.
I sit under open sky,
on a quaint terrace,
eating my salad
giggling like a school girl
waiting to finish
so I can steal one more kiss
to last me many moments
until I see you again.