Visitation

I woke at 3 or so this morning. I went outside and sat on my wet deck, as it rained throughout the night. I sat there listening to the silence of morning until a little bird landed near me. I found it odd that a bird was up that early. She had one leg. She hopped closer and stood there. I wasn’t alone in my thoughts. I had a visitor and one with a tremendous handicapped that allowed me to come out of my own funk. She had adapted to waking early in order to eat since she was slower. I moved a bit to get comfortable and it startled her…she flew away. I whispered for her to return. Eventually she did and hopped back towards me. She began to nibble at the blueberries that had fallen on the ground. So…for some sweet while it was me and the bird and the universe waking to another day. It was my heart being flung open with her little visitation. It was my thoughts taking a backseat from doubt, sadness, and the large scope of humanness. It was a lot, and nothingness, in a half hour (or whatever time it was). I wanted to continue sitting in the wetness, in my quiet safety net, in her presence as she hopped from bush to bush and back. I needed to go inside to meditate in comfort. 

I am given beautiful lessons through simple awareness. We all have these small windows of love and spirituality. Most people don’t stop long enough to notice but they are there. We are provided with the loveliest of visitors to show up in our world. Stay open. Continue to invite the extraordinary to gift you with messages. 

As I was getting my little girl in the car, hours later, the bird landed on the bush next to the car. I smiled, thanked her, blew a kiss…and she flew away.  Until next time, birdie…until next time!

Resilience

morningI am dragging butt this morning. I had one of those beautiful uneasy filled nights were everything comes to visit and not even meditation can help. It’s part of being human and releasing. It’s part of being in touched with the dark as well as the light. In the light of day it’s all forgotten but while the night wrestles … it’s excruciating to experience the loneliness of trusting your knowing without seeing the signs.

Speaking of signs as I was making my way into town for groceries there is a yoga studio on our road. The sign read RESILENCE. I passed it and thought, “Is this a new method of connecting to silence through yoga? Hmmm, that’s a new one.” I went through the supermarket with that thought, again so distracted that I forgot a few items (third time this week). How does one enter into re-silence? Is there a way to quiet the quietness? What exactly does that entail? I had all these thoughts in my head and as I was driving back up the road I re-read the sign and it says, “RESILIENCE.” I forgot the “I” in it. HaHa! I forget the “I” in a lot of things. But, it made me realize that when we do forget the “I” of ego we re-enter silence. We don’t get the chit-chat of doubt, anxiety and fear. Isn’t that something? I struggled through a night full of many I’s.

So the word today…the sign I have needed ismorning2 “resilience.” It’s in that adjustment and flexibility of allowing things to come and go that I keep moving into with faith. Resilience is part of that silence. It’s in part resistance, tolerance and the mystical walk of staying within my powers of truth. And here are some pics of the ride back up the mountain as you enter into “resilence” through “resilience.” Have a blessed day, sweet souls!

Visitation

humility

I searched all night

through the length and width

of the Universe

for answers to questions

I already know.

 

I found you

deeply situated,

snug tightly in silence,

right inside the heart

waiting for me to be mindful,

quieting  the ego….

 

I smiled

in honor of your presence,

in full gratitude,

through the lovely sunrise,

the cool morning dew,

and the laughter of a child.

Ripple-less

View from Craggy Pinnacle Blue Ridge Mtns.

Flawless green humps seen in distance

under the loud silence

surfing the earth

as God sits and watches

the serenity of the land.

Ripple-less melody under the fog

escape in the horizon

washing and clearing

the echo of nature.

This magnitude of knowing

peace and faith

allows for release.

How can one stand above the world

without feeling the omnipotence

wonder of existence?

The vastness,

the vacancy,

the void-ness,

reaches inside of spirit

and awakes everything.

The peaking of morning,

the scoop of evening,

is the flow and essence

of every part of life here.

It is the ALL in the universe…

the everything of anything…

the complete I AM.

Life and Living

life in gloryWhen I got my coffee this morning and sat on my deck overlooking the pond, the mountains, and all of the morning’s glory I began to cry.  I don’t know what overwhelmed me in seeing such marvelous textures and colors; smelling the dew of a new day; hearing the sound of the frogs, crickets and the splashes of water from the fish waiting on their bread.  I was overcome with such intensity that I had to stand and allow the tears to flow.  Life appeared in such immensity that everything around me was all that I am.  This magical place, I get to call home, is constantly healing me.  It twists and turns in me when I don’t want to be spiritual and play outside the “knowing.”  It reminds me that all that I am sits inside of me and not apart from me.  Yes, I was overcome with such gratitude, joy, sadness, laughter and awareness.  Finally when I allowed the gasping of breath to subside, the tears began to stop coming down, and I was able to sit and go into silence.  It’s hard to imagine not practicing a spiritual union or ritual with God every day.  There have been times in the past month, due to company and unexpected stressors, that I skipped these moments to then find myself in turmoil.  Because I am all that is awareness, presence and love, I cannot neglect that simple hour each morning of entering another day in life.Shelby the Koi

Reality continues to interrupt my life at times.  Life will invite me in moments of silence to sit and hear a story.  Some of these stories are made up, fictional fairy tales created by ego to satisfy my perception. I took that path…made it here.  I should’ve done that…but ended there.  You know these stories well.  In a moment of clarity the Divine will show you a reality that seems to interrupt the core of your belief system.  Those things I have said, “NO” to and “NEVER AGAIN,” somehow become the YESES.  They form new stories.  The unexpected becomes the protagonist even when I thought it was the antagonist in the stories.  We attract everything we think, especially those things we don’t want.  We give them so much power because they are constant in our fears.  And so, this morning, somehow in my state of spiritual connection my heart opened up and let go.  I surrendered into the unknown of “what if” changing it to “why not!”  I smiled, giggled, and exploded with a loud laughter while sipping on my second cup of coffee.

baby koiFeeding the fish, watching the birds on the trees, listening to the wind hit the chimes, I was once again in the midst of my truth and all knowing.  It doesn’t matter how life presents itself.  Sometimes I hear my muscles aching and my bones crackling because I am not living the true life I was anticipating.  But this is an illusion.  I have no regrets for what paths I took.  My passion now is to enjoy the journey of this moment.  Those expectations don’t serve me any longer.  I am no different from you.  I stumble, fall and get right back up.  Life has a way of kicking ass if we stop paying attention to what matters.

As Virginia Woolf said, “You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”  It needs to be acknowledged in the presence.  It needs the wisdom of time, gratitude for each breath, and love for each connection.  If you let it, life will break you.  It will test you while clawing into doubts and anxieties.  But, if you let life guide you without the fears of the unknown through faith and trust it will give you everything you have wanted and more…while being fully present with joy.  This is an adventure.  No doubt about it!  Allow yourself to feel alive in those solitary moments when the reminder of living is magnified.  You woke up today.  You are here.  Be embraced by the awesomeness!         peaceful morning

Unearthing

rain-room-at-moma-12

The smell of jasmine,
wisteria and spring
woke me
leading into
the awareness of rain.
The wind chimes danced
in full desperation and anticipation.
Frogs croaked,
crickets chirped
and the valley,
flustered with joy
exhaling deeply
and mindfully.
I wanted to join the Earth,
her wetness engulfing me,
while I danced under the moonlight.
I stood on the deck,
darkness snuggling,
cuddling my humanness,
hollowing the spaces of gratitude
breathing with intensity and love
as everything became silent
during this intimate voyeurism.
I am awake.
I am here.
I am divinity.
I am….