Let’s Be Love

Oh dear!

Someone went on a rant over a post I made in my other page about being mindful of other folks’ feelings during these times. He went on to share all that this is and isn’t. I respect everyone’s opinion. Stress levels are high and no matter where you are on this incredible event…it comes out extra!

I felt the trigger and took it down. I won’t tolerate hate at this time.

Darlings, we are experiencing a pivotal time in history. We have never been in this particular situation…ever. We’ve had other viruses, catastrophic events, wars, and so many other events in the past. But, this is a new unfamiliar journey…uncharted territory. This isn’t isolating one particular place. It’s the entire world.

So, please be mindful of other’s feelings. We are gonna have mass hysteria, panic, and high levels of anxiety because we don’t really know how this is going to play out. We have no clue. We can speculate. We can bring on all the conspiracies. We don’t know. This is not a storm that can be coned out on a map. We are the map!

Each one of us has a responsibility (and choices) to be diligent with how we show up to this. We get to participate by not participating in the hysteria or in hurting others because they don’t think the same way.

Let’s treat this as a new awakening of 2020. We are truly being pushed to be present at all times with some heavy choices. Let love be on top of your list. Let compassion be second.

WE are in this TOGETHER. Let’s raise our spirits with laughter. But stop beating each other up. We will need to band together as we create a new way of life for a bit.

I love you. Go love you. I will not stop writing uplifting messages of love. I am a love cheerleader and I believe that we just need to be reminded of how freaking yummilicious we are as humanity.

Growing in Grace

fireworks

Little girls dancing with sparklers

imitating fireflies in the night

while little boys played with lighters

impersonating men in charged

as they launch colors to the sky.

I recall my own children

playing together not long ago

in our yard.

Memories fly out of me like rockets

shooting to the evening sky.

I look out to the mountains.

This corner of the world

called for me,

allowing a safe place for growth and celebration.

I hear country music playing in the distance,

the earth welcoming the lighted sky art,

and strangers gathering as one

in awed of the show.

I am growing in grace.

It’s been a while,

perhaps several lives,

but I am here in humbleness

dancing to the music of children

running around the lake.

A man sits behind me

snoring softly to the buzzing of mosquitoes,

slapping arms and legs,

joining the smell of bug repellent, smoke, and sweat.

I have made it home.

Not quite what I imagined,

much better than my dreams,

I smile as I touch my new skin

remembering the old one

that never quite fit me.

My sons and daughters not all here,

yet I know they have their own lives,

their own celebrations.

This is now my time

to grow and be a child.

I am the sparkle and the rockets

that shoot light to the moon…

I am my own fourth of July.

Owning Your Fairy Tales

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We stay. We put up. We whine and complain but we remain in a familiar environment because it is all we know. Several years ago, in the midst of leaving an eighteen year old relationship I had to decide if I wanted to continue being Rapunzel on a gorgeous tower were I was a prisoner or come out into the world leaving those wealthy possessions behind. Even Rapunzel had a hard time leaving what she knew. It’s never easy to walk on faith. It’s pretty daunting moving through the unknown. After witnessing the embezzling of my business and how I was being financially cheated (both professionally and personally) I took the road less traveled. I dispersed my grown children…making sure they had their own places and I took the youngest ones. My family and friends were shocked to see how I dismantled a comfortable and wealthy life in no time once I decided to leave the tower of convenience and presumption.

As children we live our happy worlds based on fairy tales. And, to some point life can be a fairy tale. We have the ability to create all that we want but we must first allow the Universe to teach us the difference between what we “think” we want and what our “purpose” really is for this life. We do not teach our children that, yes, Cinderella did end up with the prince in a castle but the castle has a mortgage and expenses. We don’t teach them that in all those fairy tales there is the aspect of good and evil (our light vs. darkness both psychologically and spiritually). As girls we grow up believing that there will be a Prince Charming coming to save us, but be careful because He may come with a lot of addictions and baggage that won’t fit in the largest of castles.

We stay. We put up with those things that society has forced us to place higher than ourselves: money, comfort, and social standards.  We also conform to careers we can’t stand, places we dislike living in, and toxic friendships.  I can assure you that disentangling any life of familiarity is never easy. As much as we complain about our circumstances sometimes remaining is a lot more uncomplicated than leaving. And, if you are in an abusive relationship, where your Ego believes that you deserve nothing better, it is even harder to detach from what you know and move to the unknown.

I have created my own fairy tales. I am no longer Cinderella or Rapunzel. I am not Snow White and my seven dwarfs. I am no longer Frozen in my old life. I am also not a Mermaid stuck without a voice on land. I am manifesting a journey full of those things that matter: love, friendships, travels, compassion, grace, and integrity. Teaching our children to create their own fairy tales is important. We can show them examples by the way we move through our own journeys. My Prince Charming didn’t show up on a white horse. He walked in with a black Great Dane name Titan and enough humor to allow me to be me for the first time ever. I have witnessed the ability of strength and pride through my own expeditions. They have not been comfortable. They have broken me at times, and mended me beyond any happy endings I could have ever imagined.

Don’t stay for the sake of familiarity. Move through the unknown and let faith guide you. I promise that on the other side of fear lives the freedom you have dreamed through the old voices of fairy tales. You own your path and your destination through however you feel fit to create them.   It’s a matter of consciously shifting your perception from the reality you have accepted to be real.   Bravery comes through grace and allowing Spirit to guide us through the storm.

The Gift of Loving Yourself

self talk

The past thirty days of my birthday month have been like no other. It is said that it takes 30 days to break a habit. It is 30 days of continuous repetition that changes a mental form.  I took on a challenge this month. I decided to love myself in a way that I have never done before. Starting on April 1st I stood in front of a mirror and said to my soul, staring into my brown eyes, “I love you, darling. I love you for what you are and for all that you have become.” Then I would stand there for a bit waiting for the back talk of ego. The first five or so days were unbearable. I would immediately get something negative, “How can you love this body, middle aged and out of shape?” Other days it would just stay quiet until there was no more backtalk. Then on the second week of self talk in the mirror I began to truly feel the love from my spirit. “Thank you!” It would whisper, “And, I love you.” At first this was a silly experiment and now after 30 days it has become a necessity. “I LOVE YOU! You are magnificent.”

My eyes have begun to change. I cannot explain this phenomenon. I don’t think anyone else notices. My skin has lightened up. My stomach has released some of its weight. My breasts seem to feel safe with all its scars from years of mutilation because of reductions and biopsies. My thighs seem to jiggle a little less. My intestines have released toxins from years of holding onto crap. My hands have transformed into strength with less nudges of pain from morning arthritis. My soul is in a place of love. Thirty days of truly giving it love without doing anything but providing a safe haven to do so every morning has allowed me to witness how self-abuse becomes a habit. We abuse spirit with the things others have instilled in us to believe. But, NO MORE!

This past month I have done something different every single day:  I had a pinup photo shoot outside by waterfalls, ate some delicious food I’ve never tasted before, met strangers who became invaluable friends, moved my daughter to her own place, took different roads leading into the most precious mystical spots, attended a friend’s dramatic play, visited friends’ parents at hospitals, put our retreat center for sale, cleaned out things I have never done before this time, my fiancé and I have had nerf gun wars wearing Star Wars helmets throughout our home, I went to another friend’s movie premier, got fairy hair extensions in bright sparkling colors, had a group of friends who expanded my consciousness and awareness through deep conversations about the cosmos, and so much more (too much to list at this time). One of my highlights this month was taking a friend to her first Starbucks outing and witnessing the expression of joy while drinking her first frappuccino (her reaction was priceless. It left me with tears of gratitude for allowing me to witness the AHA moment through new eyes of love and appreciation). It’s the simple things we overlook. It’s those acts of kindness that bring energy back into our souls. I have had many friends and loved ones just show up with the perfect messages that have allowed me to experience serendipity.

During all this time my morning ritual allowed me to see what others have seen, or have never seen before. I am valuable. I matter. I am important. I am perfect in my imperfections. I have seen God staring through these eyes.  I have been part of something mystical and omnipotent.  I have seen the creation of life evolve through my reflection and how vital it is to truly love the self.  I have been truthful and authentic with every part of me while declaring the things I will accept and releasing those I will no longer tolerate. I have new stories replacing old paradigms. It shouldn’t take 47 years for this.  It should be something we immediately do the moment we begin the awareness of our thoughts from early childhood.  Just like meditation these self talks should be taught by our elders. It’s time we begin shifting awareness to our children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and friends.

We are constantly trying to experience love with others, waiting for another to value us, but it starts with the self. If you don’t see your worth no one else will ever see it either.  This morning as I finished brushing my teeth and I had the sweet talk with myself, I noticed how in spite of being under the weather with allergies, I have nurtured me and broken the toxic pattern of listening to the voices from the past determine who I am.  I have loved me deeply. I have given me the first and foremost priority in thirty days (in my life). I have celebrated my right to be here on this magnificent journey. It has been a delicious month. It’s lasted longer than any other birthday month because I have been fully present with me while loving every inch of my human and spiritual bodies.

May you find the courage to look into your soul and love the one and only you there is on this planet. I hope you gift yourself the experience of truly seeing what joy and love look like through your eyes. You will find grace, beauty, patience, understanding, forgiveness, and most of all the power to truly love all that you are. It’s magical. It’s divinity. And, it’s all you, baby!!!