Tag: now

What We Leave Behind

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Tranquility

I used to think that it was important to leave something behind in life as a legacy for others to acknowledge my existence. For most of my life I kept journals, poetry books, albums and all sorts of pasted memory books documenting my journey here. Several years ago I stopped. I was losing myself in trying to leave a life behind while not being presently available now. I was tired of leaving a token of my existence for others to find. I decided I was going to touch more, love harder, and be present with those in my life.

What better legacy but time?

We are always trying to leave footprints behind for others to find. Sometime ago during a visit from one of my sons we were sitting around discussing legacies. He asked me what I would like to leave behind as a remembrance of my life.

I said, “My laughter. I want people to think of me and think that I was fun. I want to believe that I touched someone through my sense of humor.”

His eyes watered with that simple answer. He was expecting me to say something of greatness or about love. But, I believe that joy is the catalyst to other emotions. Joy and laughter open up love, empathy, compassion, and kindness.

What carries on after death?

The lessons, mistakes, triumphs, and achievements are not so much of importance in the past as they will be in the future. We take for granted what must be learned rather than learn what we take for granted because of worrying about the future. It is the present moment that emphasis must be placed upon in order to correct anything else in our path.

Legacies are moments. Moments consist of time.

Death is a state of consciousness. It is one of the many stages through the infinite. I witnessed this first hand in January of 2014 when I had a near death experience. At that moment of leaving the physical body I was not a bit concerned with my legacy. I didn’t think about the things I should have done. I didn’t ponder or cry about the things I didn’t get to do. My only thought was, “Where will this light take me? There’s nothing like this. There never was.”

We are here passing through: learning, accumulating, and exercising the greatness of our existence. There is no real secret to life. Perhaps…. That’s perhaps the secret! We all want to know that we’ve mattered. We have. I have. You have. We are here in this melting pot together making our way home. Every day I am gifted favorable circumstances. I get opportunities of love (giving and receiving), forgiveness (for mistakes and misunderstandings), learning (beyond my means), dreaming (manifesting all my desires), kindness, and compassion (without them I am not human) so that my spiritual, physical and emotional bodies can evolve into greatness.

This greatness is called life. Make each moment count with joy, surrendering abandonment for the past, miracles for the future, and appreciation for being present at all times. Laugh at the silliness, forgive the hurt, love those who you never thought you could. Allow these opportunities to map out the journey. You got this! No one else can do it for you. Create the greatest story of YOU!  That’s your legacy.

“Inside of all of us there is the need and the desire to be heard, to have our innermost thoughts, feelings and desires expressed for others to hear, to see and to understand. We all want to matter to someone, to leave a mark. Writers just take those thoughts, feelings and desires and express them in such a way that the reader not only reads them but feels them as well.” ~ Vicktor Alexander

Living in the Present Heals

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When do I heal? How long is this pain gonna take?

I get asked those two questions often. My answer is always the same, “It will take whatever time it has to. When you finally forgive that person and/or yourself the process will become lighter. But, it might just be ongoing. I don’t know!”

We carry battle scars. We relieve memories as if they are happening right now. We tell and retell the stories in order to be heard or accepted or whatever. The point is that the pain cannot leave us while we are continuously entertaining it. The healing can only begin when the focus is removed.

My mother visited me in a dream last night. She came in with the same intensity that was her aura while alive. She visited with anxiety and judgment. She sat with criticism and doubt. What had changed was my ability to see her as all she was and not own her pain. Her pain was how she moved and controlled others. In my dream she no longer had power to do this to me. She can’t decide my life choices. She cannot manipulate my fears in order to force me to make life decisions that align with hers.

I love my mother. I loved my mom because her lack of understanding and heartache forced me to be the woman I am today. She died without healing completely. She didn’t know how to let the battle wounds heal. And she took those scars and pain daily to manifest hurt in those around her. She lived in fear of judgment from the world and became the biggest judge of all.

The best lesson my mother has taught me is in letting go. It’s to be in the moment and forget those things, and folks, who have created aches in my heart. Every so often those wounds might resurface but I sit with them and send them back to where they belong…in the past. My stories mean nothing today. Every action and reaction has allowed me to get here.

So…the pain will continue for however long it has to in order to get you to start living in the NOW. Give yourself that gift. It’s a PRESENT you can count on. ~m.a.p.

Gift of Presence

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When did we forget the meaning of being in the moment? Did we even learn this simple task? As we enter the next few days of sharing with family and friends, remember to gift yourself presence. Make a note to stay here right in the moment of awareness. I have very few memories of past holidays with my children that didn’t involve stress: making sure every one was having fun, cooking, moving so fast with exhaustion through cleaning, and the merry-go-round of chaos. Very few times I was able to sit and watch and cherish those moments of pure joy and magic. The holidays always brought with them a sense of duty and lots of work. I look back and can’t understand what all the fuss was about. I cannot get back those moments of being with my young children. They will never return to my present state so I opt to make this very second count.

Gift yourself the NOW! Stay in the moment, At the end of the day the dishes will still be in the sink, the house can wait to be picked up, the wrappers can be part of the living room decor for a while, but your family and friends will not remain with you forever. Make your presence. Take it in, not with pictures, but with the awareness of the moment. I plan on allowing myself time to chill, laugh and enjoy every second that they are here! I plan on loving every moment someone shows up to say hello.

I love you all. Wishing you a safe, loving, and joyful few days. It’s never easy for some of us to navigate this holiday but with a little effort we can make it through with love and awareness. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays or whatever else you may call it. Thank you for being part of my life.

The Here and Now

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Our little four year old said to me on the way to seeing Santa, “We are here but we aren’t there…yet!” She sat in the backseat excited counting the minutes to talk with him.

Being present…here…in the now requires us to let go of what’s coming. It always comes. We are here and not there. The future is created with each passing minute. When we focus on it constantly we lose sight of the gifts that the present brings: peace, awareness, space, clarity and love.

Don’t go into this week with angst and anxiety about what needs to be done for the holidays. You are here, not there. Remember that time doesn’t exist. The illusion of it is a control mechanism. What does exist is your perception of what came, what comes and what may be waiting on the other side of our expectations.

Stay open to the magic of creation now.

Feel the moment. Enjoy them. You aren’t there yet.

Have a blessed day…here…now.

Losing and Missing

On By Moments with MillieIn Poetry7 Comments

Not everything
that’s missing
Is lost.

Things fall and break,
Shift and take,
bounce and stay

Like memories,
Love,
And life.

Not everything that’s lost
Gets missed

Like bad memories,
Resentments,
Remorse,
Nostalgia
And heartache.

But losing and missing
The ability to let go,
To profoundly love,
To experience no regrets —
That’s avoiding
To live fully in the NOW.

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Creation

On By Moments with MillieIn Essay10 Comments

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I have been awake for the larger part of the morning hours. Now, as light breaks through darkness, I sit on my sofa staring at the mountain in front of the house. I can hear the sound of life returning to consciousness. And, for a moment I realize how I have stopped truly seeing this beauty with the busyness of the season, the desire to move, and the escalated giddiness of change.

There are moments in life when we forget to look at what is right in front of us. We become focus with what is not. We begin to search for things that we think will fulfill us. Boredom and restlessness set in. And when this happens it is indeed time for change. The soul learns everything it needs to learn from the experience and it’s pushing for more to acquire. It’s time! However, what lies behind us is just as important as what lies ahead. The only thing we need is this moment to take it all in. Every second becomes a stepping stone. How will you adorn your path? Can you be grateful for every pebble along the trail?

This morning watching light embrace the trees I am grateful for this little piece of heaven I’ve called home. I have taken it for granted the past year. I have had so many changes that I have chosen to escape to the next step of the journey. As I am coming to close here I can now quietly understand that this is just lovely. What a wonderful way to have lived five years of my life.

Embrace what you have. Feel the gratitude for the lessons, hardships, joy, journey and every experience. You are who you are today because of every event, step and circumstance. Take a deep breath. Voice your love for what is and what is to become. You are marvelous. You create everything you need and want. You are the divine energy that unfolds through consciousness.  Feel the compassion with the openness of all that you are. This has been your creation and your purpose.  Make your life matter to YOU.

Mucho love to you all. Have a blessed weekend.