Actually I Can

Most of us spend the greater part of our lives listening to others tell us what we can do or not do; how we should behave or not; that this cannot be accomplished or that should be eliminated from our dreams. We are programmed from very young to listen and learn from those around us. It becomes instinctively real to accept anything others tell us about ourselves.

The reality is that we can do anything and everything we want. There are no obstacles or rules other than the ones we create. We have placed imaginary boundaries for ourselves and decide to live inside the prison of our minds. So today memorize this mantra: Actually, I Can! Actually, I can do that. Actually, I am my own creator. Actually, nothing is holding me back from anything but me.

Go sparkle on and show your inner child that you haven’t forgotten him/her. You got this! Make this week remarkably yummy!!!

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Make a Life

birthIn our society we are taught that success is measured by the things we’ve acquired.  The categories of “success” are based on education, money, materialism such as a house and a car, career labels, what and how you wear certain clothing, etc.  But, success goes deeper than the concrete evidence of such categories.  It truly cannot be measured by “things.”  It has an abstract definition that is based on accomplishments.  Who made materialistic things the success-o-meter?  When did the consumption of these things become the status for our happiness?

The question I keep asking myself since I was one of those folks with the big house, fancy cars and money in the bank for extra spending, is are you making a life or making a living?  Do you allow success to be measured by class and materialism?  Or, do you allow triumph to be that which brings you a peace of mind and who you are is not what you do?  Most people seem to be living based on what they do and labeling themselves to that class.  In our tough economic times, I’ve heard of stories of professionals who have lost their corporate jobs and now are cashiers in the nearest supermarket.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Unfortunately, for those individuals their definition of success is tarnished.

Making a life brings joy, peace and a union with Divinity.  Making a living and placing all status and forms of success is temporarily.  You never know when things in life can change and your “status” will turn within moments.  If we travel down the path of this life consciously allowing for growth, through experiences and lessons, we can make a life.  Making a living is just that…you are making money to survive.  Don’t place your worth on what you have (or don’t have).  Place your worth on what you can give and receive from humanity.  You are the pilot of your life.  Success is measured by those moments that bring others into your space and light.  Look around and marvel at the people who surround you.  Are they bringing you down or lifting you up?  Are your children healthy and walking a path of joy without the pressures of society telling them they have to have a PhD. (which there is nothing wrong with having a doctoral.  It is a tremendous accomplishment but it shouldn’t define you)? Can you get out of bed each morning full of excitement to receive the day while doing what you love?

All the stress from economy, political agendas, religion and mass media is enough to bring anyone to a state of depression.  Start making a life for yourself.  Work because you must put food on the table but don’t let the job measure your triumph in this life.  As I am getting closer to ending this chapter of my life and not really knowing what is ahead for me, I am deleting the strains of over-thinking and putting a label to my career.  It’s freeing and sometimes frightening but it’s a way to truly live the moment.

Have a blessed day!

Making Gracious Decisions

soup

A friend and co-worker yesterday came into my office in the morning, “Hey, girl, I brought us soup for lunch. My mother made a huge pot and I wanted you to have some with me later.” I was deeply grateful. Such loveliness and she’s just amazing.

Lunch time arrived and she heated a pot with the soup and called me when it was ready. I got my giant bowl, in full gratitude, as it smelled delicious. As I sat down with the first spoonful I saw the peas. Now, for those who don’t know this, I hate peas. It’s the only vegetable that I cannot even entertain. I am usually pretty graceful about taking them out but the soup was full of them. (Had it been split-pea soup I would’ve had no problem because they would have been blended). There, in my bowl was a pool of them surrounded by other veggies that I do like. I was so touched by her gesture that I took a giant spoon and swallowed those suckers along with a huge smile while patting my heart. The first bites were painful and I became aware of all the textures in my mouth. I tried not to gag on my own thought because it was truly a yummy soup. I was forever present in that experience. With each mouthful I gave gratitude and love to her and her mother for sharing their meal with me. I am forever astonished at how those peas stopped being an issue and I ate every bit of that bowl.

Here is the thing: we might not like what we are served at all times, but we have a choice in seeing the generous heart or lesson behind it. We can pick and choose what we want out of a situation. We can respect those around us who mean well in their beliefs and choices. We don’t have to like it, but we can choose to swallow it with love and light. Life is about making gracious decisions without hurting others intentionally. Life is a kaleidoscope of experiences, obstacles, challenges that join us to one another. Today is peas, tomorrow is something larger. My actions speak volumes through my reactions. And so do yours!

Paying an Invisible Debt

debtnotowed

My darling fiancé, Matt, likes to quote Mark Twain, “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”  I am reminded that worrying solves nothing.  It’s like filling an imaginary bucket with fears.  The false impression of controlling an event is what gets us stirred up in the first place.  Everything does happen in divine order.  When he says this quote I am able to move from a small doubt to the knowing that I have no dept to pay.

Each person moves at a different spectrum especially when we are being tested with huge obstacles, events, and challenges.  Life does not happen to us.  Life happens through us. When we let go of those stressful strains that fill our spaces, trying to fill the empty bucket with anxiety, we let go of the struggles. Ah!  There is a battle always going on inside of us: ego vs. spirit.  We are such complex beings, because we are created in the image of divinity, but we fight against it. The ego loves to create the lie of separation.

It is said that time heals all wounds. This is only if and when we are ready to release what has hurt us.  I’ve known people whose wounds are older than me and are still living in the memory of the event and trauma.  Surrendering, letting go, releasing…these are all beautiful words of wisdom.  They sound simple.  It’s like telling a person who lives on adrenaline to stop and relax.  How?  How can one start to let go? How do we release the illusion of fear? Not everything that needs to be learned is pretty.  Some things are monstrous, shameful and horrendous in nature, but it is those things that require release the most.  Piggy backing secrets is a sure way of stomping growth and the flow of life. And because we are creatures of habit and patterns the fears of past events overcast the future. The distress of unknown factors create a mountain out of flat land.

I said to Matt this morning that life is an adventure.  He answered, “Not always, babe.”  I then said that not all adventures were fun, exciting, and wonderful.  Some adventures are pretty darn nasty.  I am learning everyday to throw caution to the wind or at least giving it a try.  As a friend recently said, “We can achieve anything as long as we get out of our own way.”  I am constantly reminded that what keeps me from achieving anything is me.  What allows me to grow is me. What allows me to release is me.  What releases the drama is me.  And, at times what creates the same drama is me. I am getting better at releasing and surrendering.  I don’t recognize the woman I was just a year ago, or even five months ago.  I am peeling the onion layers at a time, but instead of getting smellier as I get to the core, I am getting sweeter.  It isn’t easier to face those things that have no answers at this moment.  It can be scary.  It can be daunting.  But, I do realize the need to abandon all control to God.  His master plan is flawless, even when I don’t like it.  Life is orchestrated to be lived through layers of complexity and simplicity; dark and light, yes and no.  The duality of everything makes us, breaks us, and re-creates us.

What are you willing to surrender in order to start living an authentic life?  We all have to be honest and determine what’s important.  If your past is killing you then stop looking at the rear view mirror, you don’t live there anymore.  Sharing and letting go frees the skeletons in the closet and allows you to finally bury them in the ground.  You are only responsible for your life and your choices! Stop trying to pay debts that aren’t due or owed or even in the near future.  If you must, live one-second-at-a-time because during some circumstances living one-day-at-a-time seems like too much. And that’s all we can do to surf the wave of uncertainty.

You are brave

courage

I see courage and vulnerability every day. It passes by me in the supermarket aisle wearing a thin smile without a wig while holding a child. It holds a sign at the traffic light asking for money or shelter after serving this great nation. It has sat next to me at a doctor’s office quietly waiting for answers. It is the voice from a loved one saying that her mate passed on after a long battle with cancer. It is the child who has no parents and has been in foster care for years waiting for a family. I have visited with heroes and bravery from all walks of life whose tears leave scars as they fall down their cheeks. We are all brave and courageous. Each breath in life is a step full of courage. We are here surviving this race of humanity. Be kinder to one another. Open your heart to all that’s around you. Who cares what your political or religious beliefs are because in the end that matters to no one. The sick need love. The hurt need a shoulder. The test here is true empathy to one another without expectation. And…you need to remember that you are not alone in this fight for life. One day you are on top and another you are holding for dear life. Struggles are all part of our lessons. Whether you are black, white,yellow, gay, straight, Democrat, Republican, Christian, Jewish, or a non-believer you will find yourself battling in this journey. You are not exempt from obstacles or challenges. You are not exempt from surviving or just merely existing. No one leaves here alive!

I am often asked what church I attend on Sundays. My answer is the church of nature and humanity. I don’t need to enter a temple to hear about God when all I do is see God walking around everywhere in each soul who passes me. We forget to look outside of the walls, the box, and truly notice the world. What good is entering sacredness for an hour one day a week to then turn away from every test the Divine places in my path? Nothing HUGE has to happen to be brave. Nothing extraordinary needs to shift in order to be vulnerable. Just getting up is a battle at times that requires every cell to remind us that we matter. So as you enter this Sunday morning with your beliefs, religious theologies and prayers please think of all those who have nothing but their own beliefs that they are making. Be brave enough to know that you aren’t alone. I love you. I love you because you and I are in this together no matter what! My arms are open to hold your struggle in thoughts and prayers from any place.

Life Happening Here

holding hands

Be soft with your spirit. Be gentle with your essence. BE authentic to your purpose and calling. Rid yourself from the negative self-talk. You become everything you say that you are or that you are not. We are born every day, every minute, every second. We are here on borrowed time. Make it lovingly serene with your heart so that you can present your soul lovingly to another. This struggle is all bullshit at the end of the day. It doesn’t matter what you did or haven’t done. This moment, wasted reading this, or contemplating what hasn’t been scratched off your To Do List, is all irrelevant. Really…this is nonsense. Me writing this is nonsense as well.

Yesterday I sat in a waiting room for just a little while holding a friend in space as her dad was having major surgery.  I wouldn’t have been any other place but right there with her in those moments.  This woman is a strong soul. Even strong souls need someone to lean on when moving through hard times.  The doctor did not provide hopeful news.  I drove home feeling an ache that surprised me.  Tears came up and out as I hit the interstate. My heart was opened so widely for her and her father that I had to pull to the side median to release the uncontrollable sorrow. I had spoken to him a few days before surgery and I knew he didn’t want to go through it.  His gut was speaking. Our time here is so fragile.  It’s daunting that these moments become everything as the superficial crap starts to fall away in the distance.   As I composed myself to keep driving I said a prayer and surrendered to the unknown.  This was not about me…but with compassion it was moving through me. I love these two souls dearly.

There are folks losing their jobs, their homes, and families.  There are others sitting alone in a hospital room watching a loved one fight for their lives. While some others are in the petty claws of political and religious arguments on social media….life is happening out there.  Life is happening in here.  Life is a series of ongoing movements and motions reminding us that we get to pick the perception and reaction. I don’t know why bad things happen.  I don’t know why anything happens.  I would like to believe it’s for the evolution of our higher self. I would like to believe it’s part of a larger design.  Who truly knows at this point?  I have to be led by faith and that onset programming of a higher body of spirit guiding me.

What I do know is that we need one another. We need a tribe. We need love.  We need to know that we aren’t alone in the path of obstacles and challenges. We need to get out of our own head space and truly feel the vibration of another who is part of the overall conscious mass.

Hold a friend’s hand in need. Hug your lover as if it was the last time. Kiss those kids tightly. Smile at a stranger. Open doors for an elderly person. Compliment a cashier. Delete the toxic folks out of your life. If they don’t raise you then they have taught you something. It’s time to move on. Use your energy wisely. My God, just get out of your head and lovingly give to another who needs to feel that the illusion of loneliness is not drowning their existence. It matters. It all matters to that one human who is struggling with life. Stop the craziness of self doubt and anxiety because there is no way you leave this life alive. So…live for yourself with honor, love, and compassion. You don’t own this blue planet alone. I am here. You are here. Let’s be here together in peace and harmony. We got this!