The Blue

The Blue

I am the ocean water,
You, the wave
Pushing and pulling
Allowing me to clean
The world.

I come and go,
Swiftly shifting the deep sand floor,
Gathering contents
And then releasing everything
To the shore.

I am the bird up above
You, the wind that gives
The momentum of flight
To travel back and beyond.

I am the leaves of the oak
You, the roots
Sustaining and holding ground
Allowing for food
And a place to hang on.

I am.
You are.
Together we are all.
With you
I am the sky,
You, the clouds
And Spirit the blue
That holds us forever.

Ocean of One

Last night

I found you in a dream

sitting,

waiting,

melancholy and hopeless

by the rocky shoreline.

I asked what was happening.

You answered,

“I’m waiting for the waves

to come get me.”

I stood staring at the wave-less

vastness

knowing that the ocean

doesn’t grab.

You have to be one with it.

“Darling, life doesn’t work that way.

You have to become

the water, waves, sand,

the sun, the moon, and the breath

that holds it together.”

I reached my hand down to you.

You grabbed it. You held me.

Together we melted

into the water….

and we

became

one

with

All.

Wave Girl

The flow of life,

as I have known,

has come and gone

shifting sand,

ground,

shells,

over and over

in the depth of an ocean floor.

I have come in gently,

and arrived with force,

to many shores

while slamming up against

rocks, boulders and debris.

There have been moments

of complete stillness

when the reflection of the sky

bounced off me

like a mirror projected from the heavens.

I have twisted, turned and twirled

in storms, hurricanes and typhoons,

but I have arrived

each time touching the margin of land

while briefly resting

and knowing I will be back shortly

since I am a girl dressed as a wave.

Treasures

Whenever you look

into me

I can see you’ve found

the forest, oceans,

deserts, cities,

caves, rivers,

and mountains

trapped in a terrain of womanhood.

Although no one else

has noticed,

you search high and wide

each morning,

every night,

diving into the depth

of things you can’t understand

but want to learn to love

with such passion

that just being with me

makes you

the greatest explorer of all.

In my skin you find wonder;

in my eyes you find treasures;

and, in my heart you find home.

Solitary Sessions

There is a necessity yearning, often times screaming, from our soul to find solitude. Some don’t listen and overwork themselves into busyness in order to avoid the quietude and depth that lies inside. Retreating to one’s own company is a must. I love people. I will talk to anyone but I also love myself so much to acknowledge when my spirit needs solitude. I have been gifted the most wonderful mate who understands my seclusion because he needs it as well. Winter has been all about hibernating. It has been brutal at times. Now leaving the outer banks I have honored my body, mind and essence with such kindness that I can re-enter the world and feel the plenitude of joy.

The salty air washed all allergies away. I had no headaches or body discomfort. I slept, read, wrote, walked, drank plenty of water, laughed, and indulged in my vino. I ate junk food, put the music on and moved to my body’s delight. I didn’t have to worry about guests, anyone showing up, only my thoughts through prayer and meditation. I picked up shells and rocks in shape of hearts and admired the clouds touching the horizon line. I witnessed the birds chasing the tide, sand dancing to the wind and the sun coming up or down depending on which side of the island I visited. I sat for hours watching the wind and paying attention to the trees. I was in full awareness and embraced by beauty. If the need to speak arouse I did and communicated with others, if not I abided my feelings. I breathed. I exhaled solitude. I took in moments of processing and memories of the past without owning their discomfort. I got everything I needed in order to return to my mountains and be present for others. Everyone needs this solitude. It is imperative to survival. Neglecting the yearning is a small painful death that only gets cured within one’s serene aloneness.

There’s a strange calmness, no matter who you are with, that arrives when the spirit has been filled with aloneness for a while. That wholeness enters and the body adheres with contentment. The sacred mysteries of life speak clearly. It is up to us to listen and determine when we need solitude. You may be able to find this aloneness within friends, in a retreat or in a bathtub filled with aromatherapy. May you find that sacred space in your life in a way that is graceful and grateful to you. It is a mystical way to love and honor your spirit.

“In solitude we give passionate attention to our lives, to our memories, to the details around us.” -Virginia Woolf

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Break the Grip

 

riptideBeing a writer I think in metaphors.  I watch the world through similes, analogies, anecdotes and similarities to other things.  I’m constantly seeing the world in a way that relates to art or something else that awakens me to a powerful lesson and an “Aha” moment.  Walking onto the long-stretched pier over the dunes yesterday I caught a glimpse of this sign “Break the Grip of the Rip!”  I turned back to snap the picture.  I realized that the four statements for getting caught in a rip current are metaphors for surviving life:

Don’t fight the current. Why do we constantly go against the current of our lives?  Why do we insist on fighting everything?  Life isn’t supposed to be a struggle.  We are to go with the flow.  Remember to slow down, live, breathe, take it in, laugh and let it go.  Take time to look around you.  Stop and be present.  Fighting against the grain makes for a negative attitude that ripples into a tidal wave of more misfortunes.  I remember not long ago I would wake shaking within hours of falling asleep.  My heart racing to my throat, cold sweats, nauseated with dizziness, and with the thought that I was alone.  It didn’t matter who was next to me.  I used to be paralyzed with fear because I was constantly trying to do things “my way” rather than “Divinity’s way.”  I lived with the illusion of control for so long that I had no clue that I was killing myself softly.  I was drowning because I was stubbornly moving against the current of life. 

Swim out of the current, then to shore.  Get out of your own way.  Instead of going against it all turn around and swim to shore.  Take a breather.  I don’t know why we choose to stay in the chaos.   I now see the signs.  Whenever I make a decision and road blocks begin to appear I stop and head to safe ground.  I pay attention to the symbols and start to look for a place to land.  I can choose to swim further and drown or turn around and be safe.  We make things difficult.  We create the drama because we refuse to acknowledge the warnings: “there are jelly fish in these waters.  There are sharks nearby.  Do not proceed!”

If you can’t escape, float or tread water.  Sometimes it takes time to swim to shore.  Our situations require planning, processing, and practicality.  Until then you must stay afloat and tread with hope.  While floating along please hang on to faith!  Meditate, pray, journal, allow the high tides to settle.  Storms pass and make for brighter days.  Nothing lasts forever.  Ride the wave.  Find a surf board and enjoy the process wherever it is to take you.

If you need help, call or wave for assistance.  Allow others to help.  You are never alone.  You are not in this life without others.  We are all interconnected.  Be brave and courageous in asking for help.  Be vulnerable and share. The ego will always create scenarios that aren’t for our betterment.  It’s amazing the stories and dramas that our insecurities will develop.  Ask for guidance.  Wave to others for a helping hand!  Sometimes sharing your stories touches another who is out to sea alone drowning, waiting for a lifeboat to rescue them as well.  The spirit of generosity brings gifts.  It’s difficult to ask…but bestow onto another the blessings of giving and receiving. 

Remember that you don’t drown by going into water.  You drown by staying there helplessly waiting on something to happen. The sea of expectations is a dangerous ocean.  You have a choice…break the grip or rip!

Ocean of Gratitude

 

ocean            As I write this I sit comfortably in a beach house in Ocracoke Island, North Carolina, overlooking the grasslands of the Atlantic Ocean, dunes in the distance, listening to birds and critters re-entering spring.  The only “white stuff” on the ground is sand.  I arrived this afternoon needing a few days away from my world.  Five days go in the middle of the night I dreamt with a guide or angel who told me to ask for help.  The entity was very persistent. I was told (not a suggestion) to reach out to friends and ask for a place where I could go to recharge near the water.  As spirit fighting with ego, the stubborn wicked ways of showing vulnerability, I refused the demands in the dream.  I woke to nausea and vomit.  Once I returned to bed I said out loud, “Okay, okay, I will reach out in the morning but please give me the words.”

 

When sleep arrived I fell hard into peace.  Morning brought with it the perfect words reaching out to friends in exchange/bartering for our place in the mountains.  In complete gratitude and shock I received several offers.  A friend reached out and offered her brother’s beach house in the outer banks.  I didn’t know what and how to receive this gift.  The giver in me has a difficult time accepting help.  Funny how I am always telling others that in order to be fully blessed you must receive as well as you give.  Putting this to practice is not easy.

 

There are times that certain words make a point of entering our lives with such force that we begin to see that word everywhere. We begin to take notice of it like a new pair of shoes that you thought were unique and now everyone has them. In the past few weeks the word, “vulnerability” keeps showing its letters in neon lights. It isn’t easy being vulnerable to others, and allowing the truth of what feels like weakness expose itself without a shield. Vulnerability isn’t frailty as we have been taught. It is bravery, kind, beautiful and truthful. It doesn’t need protection. It requires honoring, exposure, and acceptance of who you are and where you are going. Taking that risk is true Divinity. The more we allow others to see who we are the easier it is for us to grow and evolve into our authenticity.

 

Being near the water, listening to the waves swiftly shift through the edges of the world, as sand molds to my feet, my heart lightens its load.  I don’t know how much more there is to give that I haven’t given myself.  I do know that this business of being human is hardcore.  It requires presence, forgiveness, understanding, patience, compassion and a lot of self love.  As I pick up the remnants of rocks and shells I gather the awareness that we are just like these pieces of decay on the shore.  There is such wear and tear, molding, sanding, release and endurance while fighting the tides, storms and chaos of external forces.  For me it is always difficult to accept help and show my fragility.  I do well with others.   Honoring my nakedness and helplessness is something that has become very real to me lately.  I know it is okay.  I know I am not alone in this.  Months ago I wouldn’t have even thought of asking.  Now, because I showed my humility, the core of my necessity, I sit breathing fresh ocean air.  Tears roll in gratitude for the next few days of sheltering near the ocean.  I am changed because of such kindness. shells

 

I have been taught a powerful lesson in exposure.  What I thought was dependency is freedom.  What I thought was frailty is actually strength.  It takes courage to ask, but it takes an adventurous spirit to move through the rawness of it all and accept.  I am forever grateful for the kindness, love and support I receive.  Having been the one to always give this is a lesson in the balance of it all.  Learning to accept and know that I am worth this is beyond anything I could have known.  I once had a mentor that said to me when I had a hard time receiving a compliment, “When someone gives you a flower, what do you say? You say ‘thank you’ and take it. You don’t reject it.  It’s rude!”  And so, I say, “thank you” to the Divine for all those who have given me this little flower of peace, love and hope.

Still vacationing like a child

I am still on a wonderful vacation in California. I have written in my journal throughout this amazing journey. This is a snippet of an entry. Will share more when I am in front of my own computer. Like all great travels this one has allowed me to go within and then move outward. It has been delightful!

“I am a little girl playing on the seashore. I move from here to there diverting from pebble to rock to stones and gravel. The great ocean of truth lies in front embracing all of me undiscovered by the child in my past. It is magnificent. I am nothing yet I am everything in this vastness of force and beauty. These waters serve as gateways to my spirit. The memories run through me over and over crashing against my chest with the same intensity as the waves. As an individual I am one but here standing in spirit’s arms we are the ocean. You, me and them are now one….”

I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving. Much love and light.

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