Love is Why

A sweet young man who works with me came into my office this week. I could see he was wide open. He said, “I have something to say to you.”

I rolled my chair away from my desk and stood up as I could see his eyes water. He is not an emotional guy. I’m sure in private he lets it out. So he continued…

“I was at a healing gathering this past weekend and while in meditation you came to me. We were doing healing on love and opening our hearts….”

I started to tear up. His eyes swelled with pools of water and we both released. For the first time in a long time he was fully present.

“…I felt your heart and compassion! I was overcome with so much love. The way you are present for everyone everyday is remarkable.”

I hugged him. I thanked him. I explained that I am not completely open all the time to love. I told him that our jobs sometimes make us jaded. We see some of the worst parts of humanity in mental illness. I am very human and I, too, feel so disconnected at times. This is one of the reasons he also confirmed he went to the healing session. He felt a disconnection. And we spoke about it in depth. I held his hands in mine as to let the energy pass through every cell.

It’s sweet and humbling that he sees me that opened to love… everyone. Unfortunately, I forget sometimes to love me in the process. I’m getting better but it’s not always the case. I don’t always love to the fullest. Sometimes I, too, shut down for weeks on end. Sometimes I rather hide away. I take breaks in nature when this happens. I hike to renew my sense of love for everything. I return recharged.

I told him to be careful when he asks for an open heart. I’ve had friends who have wanted this and ended up with heart attacks. I expressed my concern and gentleness to his heart area. We spoke about mind and body connection and manifesting every desire.

We don’t love more or less than anyone else. We love enough and as much as our consciousness can hold. Love comes from our feelings. He said he felt an immense break inside. He knew he had to give more. That’s not so much about love. That’s old programming of what we expect love to be. We place a tremendous demand on how we should love others because of how we are received and perceived.

I hugged him. Thanked him for sharing the details of his journey. I’m always so grateful for the privilege to work with amazing souls. I’m more thankful for learning from him that moment of love.

May you find yourself in this kind of love…all the time.

The Return

 

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Something woke

again

after a long sleep of doubts,

anger, hurt and questions

that buried me

inside an open tomb,

leaving the exposure to heal

with the openness of One.

I had forgotten my power,

the thoughts that co-create

with the universal aid of intentions;

those same delicious frequencies

that magically take me here and there.

I had forgotten

waking up with such joy

that I skip out of my room

while bones crack and stretch

reminding me to slow down.

I don’t care.

This is the meaning of living.

This is the ebb of sorrow and joy

taking it all and pasting it back together

without giving up.

It’s easier to give in,

give out, give up, and forget.

No more!

I have been sleeping in such darkness

for too long and allowing no one

to turn on the light.

I needed to feel the switch,

pass my hands through its coldness,

in the rawness of despair,

so I could turn it on…so I could do it alone.

Clarity arrives with rest and prayer.

Awareness returns with faith.

I hear the ringing of truth in one ear.

I see the element of surprise ahead.

I taste the juices of excitement.

I smell the sweetness of success…

for all that I have put out into the openness.

I’ve returned.

I am home in me again.

It’s been a long time…too long.

The heart echos softly, “Welcome back!”

Touching Spirits

hands around world

Something happens among strangers who aren’t trying to impress or move through egotism. There’s a mystical connection and awareness through a touch, a word, small conversation or a glance. Life simply exists without the expectation of fulfilling the other. Strangers dive into the rarest form of freedom and many times without filtering truth. At least this happens with me a lot.

This morning I went to Goodwill to drop off stuff and decided to go in to get my daughter something for her computer. As I was kneeling in the electronic area I heard the most beautiful melodic male voice singing along to the store’s music. He was right behind me. Without getting up or turning around I said to him, “You have one of the loveliest voices I’ve ever heard!” I got up and looked at a gentleman in his late 60’s or early 70’s.

He kindly said, “Wow, thank you! When I was younger I sang all the time. I have had cancer three times and with it and the chemo my voice has disappeared.” He shared a glimpse to his stories.

At that very moment I got closer to him, looked into the depth of his brown eyes and said, “You are a gift to still be standing here and singing with such hope. You are a miracle. How very awesome to walk near death but continue this journey of faith through humanity!”

The man smiled, began to tear up as I could see he was having an ‘Aha Moment.’  I witnessed his humanness and ego take a backseat. I could see in seconds through the glances that his wheels were turning reacting to memories, the past, history, and life events.

“I can’t tell you what your words have meant to me right now,” He began to speak as he composed his spirit. “I have rarely been grateful for anything, less this horrible disease until you just said this. Thank you!”

I smiled, touching his hand in mine, “Keep on singing! You touch others with that magical voice. You touched me.”

He hugged me and dropped the items from his hands on the shelf and left the store gathering his tears through his fingers. I felt horrible for a second but knew the message didn’t come from me. This devotion of gratitude was something the Divine needed to share with this man through sacredness. As I sat in my car I began to shed tears for my own gratitude, compassion, humanness and kindness. I, too, walk here in a journey of faith and hope.

This stranger’s spirit touched the core of my flustered essence today. I needed his song to move me just as much as he needed to hear words of encouragement. What a mystical union. I am forever touched by strangers, their kindness, wisdom, laughter, smiles, and stories. We are all connected holding the earth up with love, stories, and hope.

Treasures

Whenever you look

into me

I can see you’ve found

the forest, oceans,

deserts, cities,

caves, rivers,

and mountains

trapped in a terrain of womanhood.

Although no one else

has noticed,

you search high and wide

each morning,

every night,

diving into the depth

of things you can’t understand

but want to learn to love

with such passion

that just being with me

makes you

the greatest explorer of all.

In my skin you find wonder;

in my eyes you find treasures;

and, in my heart you find home.

Acceptance

How can you allow yourself to love

if you’ve never witnessed it,

never felt it as a child,

as you entered into the world

with fear, oppression and abandonment?

I can’t heal what you don’t admit

in the corners of your being,

nor I want to break you,

discomfort your psyche,

so you grow stronger.

Love is always there

waiting to be endorsed,

anticipating the openness

to proclamation.

No one can do this for you,

even the little child

whose world was dark

has a chance to feel,

touch,

embrace,

make,

take,

and passionately accept…

the greatest affection in our world.

The depth of your own love,

intertwined with Spirit

will set you free,

soaring with joy

into the light of existence.