New Beginnings

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I am reminded this morning about change. As I took the dog out this morning I noticed the reds are almost gone on the trees. The last of leaves are bright yellow and orange. Above on the ridges of the mountains is the beginning of winter…the dead-ness that arrives with this time. The creek has a large deposit of leaves waiting for a heavy rain. There is a baring and revealing that sits waiting to be noticed all around us. This is not my favorite time of the year. The rawness of having to move inward during the winter months is daunting at times. I need the sun, heat on my skin, and the brightness of days to guide me. But, I love these mountains of Western North Carolina and can’t imagine living anywhere else. Change is definitely evident. It’s in the trees, in the terrain and in all the new yummy things shifting in my life. The leaves don’t ask each other if they can fall or stay or change. They just move with the timing and season. To everything there is a season. We are not immune to change. It happens every single second of our existence. I am grateful. I am giddy for this shift and discoloration making way to growth in the near future. And…just like the last colorful leaves remain I take them all in for all their beauty. I accept what is and move on. New beginnings require the transformation of endings into mysticism.

Have a blessed day. Embrace the change ahead. I feel that this particular season will be magical!

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The Need for Retreating

helping each other

For several days I’ve been in a fabulous retreat up the mountain in a place that feels like a tree house. I’ve laughed, cried, created, purged, shared, listened, expanded, and entertained. I’ve witnessed magical “aha moments,” heard stories of tragic losses, and participated in healing. This is what I know as mystical. I can be in the presence of others and learn something about myself through their mirror essence. Sometimes those things do not happen right there at the moment. They knock in the middle of the night, or even days later. But, I can hold space for someone and not take it in while having empathy and demonstrating them love. I can do this in a way that I extract love and understanding. This is what a retreat and gatherings offer.

Each one of these women has been magical. Spending a large portion of five days with them has brought up so much in my own desire to continue gathering and sharing. Each single one has enriched me these past few days with the element of JOY. I haven’t laughed so hard in a very long time. I haven’t felt so free in many years. I have had silly moments and enchanting ones that leave the state of wonder to experience those things that have no explanation.

We are all magnets. We attract that which we are at the moment of thought and conscious choices. I love my wacky friends…my misfits…my unicorn-riding folks who aren’t afraid of being themselves. I love the ones who say what they think, and think what they say with depth and laughter. We are a tribe. We love together. We cry together. We question our paths but, without judgment, pull and push each other down the rocky roads. It’s part of our humanness to attract the good. It’s all so good here. Right now it’s all that needs to be without the element of restriction or expectations. It’s just perfect to be part of something so ecstatic.

At this age I am not getting older…I am getting playful, deeper, and acquiring a no-bullshit attitude. Life is too short. Enjoy it. Live inJOY! Attract the best of the best who vibrate on your frequency. Yeah! I want nothing less. The best treat you can give yourself is being fully present in a diverse group of souls. You get to learn from each other what works and what doesn’t.

I remember when I was part of the retreat center and folks would come to do their retreats. I would speak to people who would mention that they weren’t getting anything. I would stay quiet and think, “Oh, but wait till you get home!” There is no timing to reach emotional breakthroughs. Sometimes you must really get out of yourself to feel the difference. And, other times you just have nothing that needs to come up. But, when it does, it becomes the catalyst to something greater than the self. If you allow for those shifts you can feel the gratitude later on in weeks ahead.

To those magical women who shared deeply this week…thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be part of your journey. Thank you for so much fun and bliss. I love you all!

Please check out our new page for living consciously through joy:

https://consciousnessjoy.com/

 

The Art of Getting Lost

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This morning on the way down the mountain into Asheville there was a traffic accident. I had a choice to sit through it or take a road less traveled on an adventure. Yeah, you already know what I did! I took a road into an unknown destination. And, the magic began to appear through every curb and dip into an area I had never visited. I was going down the rabbit hole, and I just knew I would never be the same again. Each scene took my breath way. Today is just lovely!

That’s the beauty of taking adventures…it’s the getting lost part that’s mystical.  There is a true art to purposely getting lost and challenging your spirit to thrive with enjoyment. I live for the excitement of finding treasures through serendipity. I began to see farm houses with mountain views, horses on scenery that belongs in movies, and endless amount of greenery. It was an explosion of wonder and all this so close to my house…and yet…so very far. All of this in a world of its own.

These are the moments my husband refers to as Millie’s Fairy-Ass Moments when the “aha’s,” “wow’s,” “look at that,” “Oh My God!” and so many other childlike words escape me. These are the moments I drive through the curbs yelling, “Weeeeee!” It’s in those specific moments that I am reminded that the gypsy in me is always ready to take flight and explore. These mountains have a way of turning you around even when you think you are going the right direction. The longer I drove the clearer the awareness arrived, “This is what I want to do. I want to write and travel. I want to hear stories from strangers in all corners of the world while giving our little girl an experience of a lifetime.” This morning brought up that confirmation that things need to work towards that so I can get lost without an agenda. I need more of this because it makes me come alive.  I need to continue manifesting this awareness into my reality because it is a vital facet of my soul.  This is who I am.  I have felt stuck for so long that when I do get lost I feel like I find my grounding.

When was the last time you got lost? Do you enjoy experiencing new places or does it cause you anxiety? Can you get up on a moment’s notice or do you need planning? I urge you to take the road less traveled. Don’t have a plan. Enjoy one morning without it. Make time to breathe outdoors, talk to strangers, and share in this space with get to call home.

Mystical Dreams

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I watch from the trees

swinging on a hammock

the earth swaying with the wind.

Lost in my journal,

a jungle of words

sit waiting for the gathering

of fire and hearth.

The creek never stops the flow

descending,

cascading privately

downhill

a memorized path

while I keep holding on

to the bark rooted inside

of me.

Wind chimes dance to

an alto gypsy symphony

resembling Irish moors

long ago in a remote

country side.

The flapping of wings

flutter all around me,

embracing the openness

as I emerge from here to there

through waking dreams

in the gorge of a private forest.

A New Dawn

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Finally having settled into a new home, I feel the nudges of dreams rattling me up with excitement. It’s been months since I could figure out what I am to do with this new chapter of my life. Closing down the retreat center was also shutting down many aspirations until a few days ago when I realized that the experience catapult me into the place I am now: a new dawn of mysticism.

I understand what it is to put up a front. I also understand what it feels like to know there’s something more to the present circumstances when life seems to be dragging you down. I am very good at hiding hurt for a long time. I shove disappointments into some chamber in my heart. I allow for things to settle and then…I open the chamber and sit with those emotions until I am spent. This is where decisions of truth come out and dictate what is best for me. Until I am ready to clean out and make peace I choose not to make major decisions. One bad day does not constitute a bad life. One bad year does not create a bad future. It is through vulnerability and nakedness that power is born. We have no choice but to go up and about while releasing those things through self-forgiveness. You cannot blame another for the choices you make. I participate in every action and reaction of my life. This period of time with uncertainty has finally concluded. I feel change knocking at the door and it feels good. I have forgotten to just breathe and let go. I have been holding my breath for so long that my insides feel stale at times. And, that’s the thing, somehow we forget to surrender. We forget that this moment will pass and that it’s all an illusion. Emotions are tangible equations that can hurt or enhance. It’s all in how you use them.

When we are in a depression, embraced by anger and disappointments, we forget to just let go completely. It’s easier to hold on to what you know. Familiarity seems comfortable but it isn’t. Often times we don’t allow ourselves the break of just being. Things will work out. They always do, with or without our acknowledgment. We all struggle through these economic times, personal losses, and the hardships of parenthood and adulthood. Many of us have to be stripped of everything materialistic in order to allow the ego to shut up. It is during drastic changes that souls rise to the occasion. We get an opportunity to witness strength and faith in character. We get to live by integrity while pulling on our truth to lead the way. We become vulnerable and available to Spirit for guidance. I have had several moments in the past eighteen months when I have doubted my own professional and personal path. “What am I doing here? What am I suppose to be doing? How can I contribute to my life? How can I live a purpose-passionate-driven life doing what I enjoy so much?” I have nothing but a million words…oh, the questions and answers move around in an infinite vortex. Then, through a shift in perception or move of location…the magic begins to happen. The veil lifts and I see all that is there for the taking. Nothing has changed except my attitude. Freedom is not a physical entity that appears like trying to exit a prison cell. Freedom is the acceptance of all that is happening and still choosing to move through with grace. It is about realizing that your perception created the prison cell. There are no bars but those you put around you to stop you from leaving the comfort zone.

This morning as I write from my desk while looking out to the beautiful creek, I feel gratitude. Change is never easy. Change requires trust. I am watching the icy grounds, the sun melting the droplets from the trees, and enjoying the quietness of a winter mountain morning. I am able to feel distance and closure without the ache that follows some days. I also know not to control or shut down those emotions when they rise. I have no plans at this very moment. I am cutting myself slack for the constant need to do something productive. I don’t have to know the answers to my life this very minute. I don’t have to know what will happen tomorrow. It’s in this nakedness of nothing and acceptance that I can enjoy today. It feels like it’s been forever since I have had a moment like this.

For the first time in months I am sleeping peacefully. I am falling asleep and staying in dreamland throughout the night. This new dawn brings with it freedom. It brings an awareness of allowance and manifesting. It holds nothing back. I am forever grateful for every single lesson that the retreat center brought to me. Every single person was a gift. Every moment of joy and sadness has been an instruction in the evolution of my character. The growth has been incredible. I am forever grateful for a dear friend who taught me so many powerful lessons. I am forever touched by the changes and the newness that pushed me right here, right now, and continue to show me the path. Even through the unlikely events that brought me here it’s been an honor to have lived 5-1/2 years in a sanctuary of mystical enhancements. I would not change a single moment of it’s humble teachings.  My humility and humanness have been affected for life. The heart has opened up in miraculous ways while showing me authentic self.

Give yourself permission to not have all the answers. Give yourself the time to just be. Make time to meditate and reach the level of passion for the life you want. You have been placed on this earth for greatness…no matter what you do make it great. You are not here just to pay bills and die. You are here to glitter and shine while enriching your soul with love…and then transcending that joy unto another.

Mystifying Riddles

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There are amazing mysteries in our universe:  the great pyramids, the Mayan calendar, the conscious mind, the cosmos, the beginning of time, the big bang theory, UFO’s, and the spiritual world whose veil is thinning with acceleration of these times.

These great mysteries aren’t meant to be solved.  They are as apparent as love out there in the world to ponder and accept.  We are constantly trying to solve the miracles of life.  But, some things aren’t meant to have specific reasoning.  Miracles happen every day.  (I, for one, thrive on them while searching for every possible sign that they are happening around me). We are born out of an extraordinary phenomenon. We survive illnesses, near-death experiences, and so many heart aches.  We come out from difficult situations and have no explanation for them…except that something larger than ourselves intervened.  This is the miracle.  The mysteries of our existence lie in the knowing that there is something so much greater than reasoning.  It is that knowing that gets us through the difficult times.  Some call it Christ, Buddha, Shiva, God, the Divine, the Great Goddess, Mother, the Holy Mother, etc.  There are millions of names and expressions for this mystery in our existence.

I have stopped looking for that which cannot be understood.  I have learned to accept things as they come.  There is no lack of anxiety or disappointment in what I want and what is.  There is no lack of worrying at times for what cannot be understood.  It is what it is.  However, what I have learned with the hard knocks of life is that in the end I have no control of what will happen.  I am always joyfully surprised with how things appear.  There is no perfect planning…only perfect timing.

Two nights ago I sat outside watching the meteor showers.  Falling or shooting stars adorned the clear night sky.  It was beautiful.  Each time I witnessed a quick one fall I would gasp.  Such quick simplicity!  It was precious.  I made a lot of wishes upon those stars.  As I went to bed I said my prayers to the greatest mystery of all…God.  We are so fortunate to be living in these times.  Each moment is a complete unsolved mystical twinkle in time.  Relish in it!  Dive into the moments with awesome-driven excitement.  The best is always yet to come.  Have a mysteriously wonderful day!

The Sum of my Being

Things I know for sure

are mapped out

in a geographical atlas

of love. The past has planted itself

in harsh terrains

over places that my heart

has chosen to forget…

but only for moments.

The geography of love

is measured by the distances

between what I gave

and what was left behind

through vast rivers of tears,

down valleys of disappointments,

into landscapes of forgiveness.

The lifeline of me is an illustration

that’s neither here or there

calculating winnings and losses

which have molded me into

some mystical monument at this time.

I have provided virgin territory

for another explorer

to conquer in me,

settle into my continent,

while allowing the outer

ocean waters of life

to gently touch the shores

of my heart

so I can give back what I know for sure:

the sum of my being.