There Will Always Be Bullies

When I was in sixth grade, I went to a school that didn’t have many blacks or Hispanics. It had only been three years since I moved from Puerto Rico. I still had a strong accent when I spoke. It was difficult being the minority in a huge white community. Those days I was pretty shy, and with reason. I didn’t really have many friends in that school.  There was this boy who was huge. His name was Hugo. He was in seventh grade. He took upon himself to bully me almost daily. He would call me all sorts of names. I would ignore him. I would avoid him. If I saw him coming down the hall or in the cafeteria, I would dash away from his view.

One day I was walking down the hall, in between classes, when Hugo ran towards me and slapped me in the face. He busted my nose. I still have a small bump on the top part of my nose. He was suspended. I mended. And, sometime before I left that school, at the end of the year, I actually sat with my bully. I told him I was no different than him. He actually looked more Hispanic than I did. I knew he was afraid of diversity and differences. I wished him well and never saw him again. 

In my lifetime, there have been many Hugos. Some who have bullied me passively. Others not so much! I have learned that to deal with a bully you have to be smart enough not to react. They feed on the fear and reaction from their actions. I have also learned to be strategic. There are things about every human that are triggers. When we find what those things are you begin to learn what causes the bullying. But, there are also disturbed and psychotic humans that are just plain evil. They were damaged in their childhood and their past. I cannot fix that anymore than you can. We have to be willing to take accountability for our actions and not live in victim propaganda forever.

If you are being bullied by someone, remember that you have choices. You can call the authorities. You can report them. Sometimes the fear holds us back and paralyzes us from truly moving forward, therefore giving the bully the upper hand. We are always held in divinity. We are always guided to do the right thing even when it feels impossible. We put up and shut up until we can no longer. There will always be bullies in the world. Where there is good, there is also evil. It has taken me decades to accept that my rose-colored-love glasses may be dirty. I cannot see every single human in bright light when they are dark. 

I don’t know if Hugo ever changed. I think of him at times when I look in the mirror and see my small bump. I wish him well just I wish every other bully in my life. Does it make a difference? I don’t know but it gives ME peace.

PLEASE get help. Take baby steps, and get the assistance you need to stand up to a bully. We should never ever live in fear for our lives. There is always a way. Tune inward and listen to what your divine wisdom has to say.

I love you so much,