The Magic of Perspective

What we see and how we interpret it determines how we live our lives. We accept and understand from the level of our experiences. This is why we are all coming from different levels of awareness. The lens of intaking information and processing are always shifting.

Many years ago I took this picture of my husband as we were hiking. The picture captured a completely different perspective of what I was experiencing. Was my reality wrong? Was he entering a portal and I didn’t see it with my naked eyes? My eyes saw what I could understand which were leaves through a beautiful forest. There are so many different views to everything around us…at all times.

We capture everything around us, including conversations, based on examples of past similarities.

We have the capacity of truly being mindful even when we disagree. We can see things differently and still love one another.

Perspective is ever changing. You can heal your past by seeing with different lenses. Darlings, allow yourself the ability to shift and heal based on what you want in the future and not old programming. You get to decide how you see the world around you, how you process information and how you utilize it for your life.

Make it magical. Open your eyes and your heart to find the divine around you.

I love you.

It’s Time for Manifesting

In my cosmic travels I have been experiencing a giant wave. As if this wave is the mass consciousness that is slowly shifting. What is appearing is going to be collapsing timelines. It’s gonna question realities. The craziness we experience full of anxiety is the riptide that is clearing everything from our lives. I am experiencing more truth and openness in people. I am seeing a massive acceptance to communicating with spirits or people coming out and sharing about ET encounters. The higher self is no longer sitting back and waiting for the SELF to call on it. It knows that ego is a human factor that needs to be tamed. And it isn’t waiting for our humanness to decide. We are either in acceptance through love or in total fear through ego dictating. More folks are having deep visions and experiencing travels through other realities and dimensions. We are truly living higher dimensions within ourselves. People who doubt their abilities to

See and feel are still worrying about what others think. This is low level frequency. You cannot move past to higher vibration while you live in doubt and fear. So let it go. It’s time.

In this space we are manifesting quickly. If you are in a negative space you will continue to create that which you are focusing on. If you can shift it to a higher vibration you can create positive outcomes. I know it’s hard. It’s challenging but you must be aware of your thoughts at all times because the energy is moving at a higher frequency.

This new era is magical. It is truly about aligning with your desires and your purpose. It’s about complete authenticity. You can wallow in a pity party of cannot’s or you can create the why not’s that will elevate you to other worlds. The veils aren’t real. We have chosen to put blinders on because of old-world programming.

Meditate. Accept. Release. Love. Keep forgiving. Send that vibration of pure divine essence to all. We are standing on the edge of a new Dawn. And we get to decide how we will show up. We get to collectively change the world with our imaginations and thoughts.

Coming Into the Light

I had a moment that lasted over 8 weeks. And, it turned into an ongoing sense of grief. Nothing, including meditation, allowed me to step outside of myself. No amount of nature seemed to help soothe me either. I was taking things one moment at a time.

I hid it for over 5 weeks pretty well. I thought! I began to slowly retrieve into aloneness. I began to use excuses to be with me. The demands of motherhood to young children at the age of 50 is daunting at times. I’ve been a mother for over 30 years. And it’s in middle age that I am consciously seeing the true work of parenting with its detrimental future outcomes. I can see how every choice and action affects these little ones. I have lived it from my older adult children.

I began having a giant pity party…which I loathe with a passion. I just couldn’t get out of it. I couldn’t figure out what was causing my deterioration. I could not talk myself into moving past it. I could barely even verbalize it. I continued showing up as happy, loving and supportive. I continued to spread love and inspiration on a daily basis but inside I was miserable. I was not me. I was someone I no longer recognized.

I had to stop. I had to breathe and stop pretending that I was “fine” when I wasn’t. And, I had to stop bulldozing myself into feeling better. I was actually contradicting the law of attraction because I was focusing on the lack of everything. And to me…this is unacceptable.

How could I cheerlead the world when my sadness was consuming me? I am really good at hiding shit when I don’t want to deal with pain. It’s my default programming.

But I went with it. I entered the dark night of the soul with a vengeance. In all Aries-woman fashion I gave it my all. Not a healthy suggestion for anyone (I promise it’s not for sissies). I wanted no help. I demanded seclusion. I expected the world to just know this, accept it, and conform to it.

I am grateful for the love and support around me. I don’t know how my seclusion has affected those in my small circle. And to be honest, I just couldn’t deal with those extra emotional concerns. Luckily I have some incredible friends who honored my wishes. They listened to the silence and the in-between aches. They knew my soul needed to just be.

I started a new job which is physically demanding while putting on hold my dreams of working for myself being an Intuitive Life Coach and Story Tender. I have a new schedule which has taken adjustments. Relationships around me began to crumble because of my lack of time and attention. And, there have been other components that added to the sadness. Many other revelations that I’ve avoided for decades. I began to notice how I allowed disrespect in many areas of my life. This was not really new but I had become tolerant to it. The truth is that what we resist does persist. No way around it but through it.

I was spending too much time apologizing to others for not being available which then angered me for having to use my little reserved energy in reassuring others. It began to take its toll on me. It was a lot!

I also felt ashamed and guilty. I couldn’t deal with the complexities of being “selfish” with my me-time. I couldn’t understand why I was living Groundhog Day every single day. What was I manifesting by my emotions? What was I putting out there energetically? So I began to question the universe about everything, but I refused to wait for answers. Once again, all in Aries style!

I learned something invaluable: I had to make my world tiny and take care of every single need that required my attention. I needed to take care of me for once. And every time I would venture to help someone I would get sick. My body felt physically ill by the extra output. This has been new territory of exploration. I had to learn to be compassionate with myself first and foremost. I had to learn to give to myself in the same loving manner I give to others.

Things began to unravel in ways that had gone unnoticed beforehand. I began to see. Really witnessing what needed addressing and changes in my life. The outside distractions weren’t there to filter these events and situations.

I began to understand that I am a wizard at avoiding hard experiences. I began to accept I needed to address old traumas. I started to take things apart and re-examine them like a forensic psychologist. I dove into my psyche during lunch hours. I began to see things differently. I don’t think I’ve ever done such deep work with myself (by myself). Who wants to have to address stinky old crap? I tend to move forward and not dwell back there. I took calculated analysis of the how’s and why’s while turning them into powerful lessons. The deeper I walked into the dark forest the harder it was to turn around and find the exit…so I kept going….

Hardly sleeping. Barely eating. Not much writing (which is therapy for me). I just decided to put on a costume of joy for the 8 hours at work and then take it off when I was home. It required intense energy and concentration. It has been quite the existential adventure. I’ve walked with faith holding on to a thread of hope…that I could muster through the muck. I wanted to know where God had been through all of it.

(He was always there. The Divine is mysterious but we must take time to listen).

This is the epitome of self-care. If you must recluse do it without explanations. Our society has programmed us to be at everyone’s beg and call. Technology makes it so. We feel guilty for not answering the calls, emails, and messages. We underestimate our desires for aloneness and healing. The truth is that we don’t owe anyone anything. We are responsible for our emotions alone. I cannot help anyone else when I’m barely making it throughout my day. And yes, we have folks who count on us. Those need to be taken into account but the rest of the world can wait a bit. You need to take care of you. You need to put the oxygen mask on first in order to help those next you.

I can only lead myself in and out of the journey. I can share with you my stories, but I cannot tell you what you should do. You, alone, get to decide how you heal from hurt and traumas. You get to put on your armor and figure out when it’s time to fight the demons from the past.

Self-care is self-love. I felt it was not so much a need as much as a survival necessity. There were moments I would check out emotionally and my spiritual body would begin to slowly realign. I recognized that depression was definitely trying to teach me something about me. It was getting my attention and I was going to listen.

It’s been a powerful few months. Pretending was a facade I could no longer continue. Weeks off social media helped me focus on so many things. The moment I began to deal with years of denial and loss I began to take on a new outlook. I began to write letters to the universe for clarity and forgiveness. I began to see my way out of the thick and dark wilderness. I began to stop questioning my purpose and find the depth of passion for living.

Because there is purpose. There is magic. There is light. There is love. There is connection. There are so many reasons to live for on a daily basis.

May your real life be as wonderful as the one you live on social media because you deserve happiness. Vulnerability is not weakness. It’s actual authenticity. Speaking your truth to those around you is imperative. You deserve to be the best version of yourself for yourself and not just for the world to witness. You deserve to be raw and unapologetic for all that you feel.

I love you. Thank you for sticking around here. I am slowly returning but without the tolerance for fake facades. This is me unapologetic. To pretend to be anything else is total bullshit. I promise to always be as real as I can be without static. I promise to keep showing up and provide a spec of light on a daily basis through this form of gathering.

Now you…get out there and shine. Let’s be lotus flowers emerging from the depth of muck and darkness into a new dawn.

Get Up and Move

The trees behind our house block the sky. I can see pink through holes in the forest. There is a mystical luring to that small space. I love the canopy of nature blocking and enticing my eyes. However, I miss being able to see the distance of sky and horizon. I miss waiting for the rise of day and the sleep of sky at night. I love sunrises and I am giddy that our new home in a few weeks will allow for me to witness them.

I’m reminded of how we allow things to block our views. We settle for the viewing and find comfort. We forget what matters because we conform to our surroundings. Sometimes we complain about how we can’t see or be or do. But we have choices. When you can’t see you can open up another area. You can shift perspective. You can move. You can walk the distance to find what you desire. You aren’t a tree rooted in one place.

So go. Go find your sky. Go reach your stars. Go make your path through the forest. Light through the fog. You get to decide what you keep and what must go.

(Picture from a hike a year ago)

Your Choice

I went in a local restaurant to pick up my lunch. As I was getting my change the sweet waitress/cashier said, “I hope you have a great day!”

I winked and said, “It is always a great day…every single day that I wake!”

The grumpy older man at the end of the bar looked at me as I turned and injected, “Not always. It’s not a great day every day…” He mumbled something under his breath.

I stopped. Looked at him in his deep-seated eyes, “That’s a choice you get to make every day. There are many things in life you have little say in, but making your day special is a conscious choice. It’s all about gratitude.”

Left him with his mouth hanging. He made one last comment, “You must be one of this hippies.”

We get a gift each day. We get many. The choice is ours, even in the midst of chaos and loss and everything else…we have a choice in how we show up in this journey. We get to decide how we perceive our stories. We are able to shift awareness. Of course, not all days are magical. Some are stinky shit. But you can choose to wallow on the crap, obsess over it, or pick a better light to see the world.

The choice is yours, darling. How you see things says a lot about you and what you attract. Mucho love works for me! Just sayin’!

Do not feed the fears

do not feed fears

There have been several break-ins in our little town the past few weeks. It’s rare that anything happens around here. I have heard the stories…on and off as cautionary tales of what needs doing. My husband has declared getting more weapons. I cannot begin to express the anxiety this issue causes me. I DO NOT like guns. This morning at around 5AM when the dog needed to go out, he ran across the dark front lawn chasing something, and my heart began to race up to my throat. My husband was at work and all I could think of was, “This is NOT how I live my life!” I think I said it out loud as I called for the dog to come inside. I do not entertain this fear. I spent all of my childhood living with a mother who feared anything and everything because of the news. We lived in a prison of what if’s. I cannot move into that energy. I refuse to feed the fears that others live by. I know there are bad people in this world. I know there are savages. I understand there is mental illnesses, hatred and arrogance. I get the drug and alcohol addictions and how they guide personalities into doing bad-unthinkable things. I know the world is full of atrocities, horrific acts, and devastating events. I don’t live in that world of looking over my shoulders and expecting something to happen. I am not that person. Call me naive, stupid, delusional, crazy…whatever you care to label me…I don’t participate in fears. Moreover I have a hard time understanding how others choose to live in that mentality. No judgement! This is no way to live because I cannot participate in what may happen tomorrow. That’s not living! I am not responsible for another person’s choices that may include me.

Want to know what scares me? The buying into the fear of these acts. I know friends get frustrated with me when I repeat myself over and over that I don’t go to that dark place. My husband gets irritated because he solves everything with a military mentality. (Fairies and unicorns aren’t gonna save me if someone comes into this house). I cannot buy into this mentality. I will not. I am not wired that way. To me arrogance, bigotry, injustice, racism, and other things shake me. Confrontations make my heart ache. But, living under the energy of waiting for something to happen….no way. A violent rape at 18 took care of the notion that you have control of your world and surrounding events. If someone is going to break in while I am here then I will cross that bridge…and not with a gun or sword in hand. Meantime I will not feed the fears because that feeling that I felt early this morning is foreign, shocking and disgusting to my nervous system. I leave those emotions in the hands of others…it does not work for me. That simple!

Intrusion of personal space comes in many forms. Living with the anticipation and anxiety, with gun in hand every time something goes thump in the night….that is some scary shitty emotion. You create a vacuum of negative input attracting that which you fear. No way, no how! My life is not lived in such a manner. The privilege of living is an adventure and not all adventures are fun. But, I will continue to believe that I am watched over by a Divine Spirit. It’s a conscious choice and I believe what I believe. Miracles happen all the time in my life because of this. May you choose your thoughts wisely! It’s imperative to do so…do not live a life looking over your shoulders. That’s not really living! This is not why we are here on this earth.