Morning Prayer

That first hour of light
Introduces day
To the foggy mountains
Desperately trying to
Mark the sunrise.
I sit in darkness
Guided by a candle
And incense burning
With a cup of tea
Warming chilled hands.
Silence visits me,
And no thoughts tug
Anywhere in my
Cerebral cortex.
I stare out wards
Then inwards.
I am the light,
The mountain,
The room,
And the vastness
Of infinity.
Another day allows me
To partake of its
Divine gifts.
How very blessed I am….

20130318-082028.jpg

Purest form of love

joy

The magic of love is in its purest form. A smile across the room, a hug from a child, an ‘I love you’ from a friend, and a cuddle from a pet. The simplicity of a gesture, a look, and a touch is the Creator connecting with us through one another. It’s that authentic and natural. Keep a tally of daily gratitude: “The sun came out today. The cold is less severe. I have heat, shelter, and food.” Love comes through the light in everything around us. Close your eyes for a few minutes and take in the present. You are alive. This is temporary. Will this issue today matter in a year? We are forever evolving, growing and learning. You are always loved. I love a quote by Aristotle: “The secret to humor is surprise.” The single most wonderful feeling is allowing life to surprise you every day. Those are the miracles of the ‘aha moments.” Have a blessed day!

Prayer

prayer

I pray, not for an answer,

but to have my thoughts,

my voice, my soul,

heard

throughout this Divine space.

I pray, not for worship,

but for the confirmation

of what my spirit

already knows.

I pray, not to negotiate,

but to release anticipation

of what I’ve attracted

into manifestation.

I pray, not because I doubt,

but because it is a certainty

that I am part of Divinity.

I pray, not for miracles,

but with the understanding

that I hold the wonders

of everything I ask…

the universal truth

for being a child of Spirit.

Knots of Humanity

knots-of-humanity

 

 

 

I.
You.
They.
We all.

There’s no mistake
in color, shape,
geography, religion,
preferences, belief….
The same spec of dust
from the beginning of time
runs through
veins, heart, consciousness,
lifeline and lifetimes
in each of us.

I love YOU
in loving me.
There’s no accident,
only the synchronicity
of our union
through the nothingness
and the knowing —
Or the never meeting
except within
the same air passing
through our lungs,
the same moon
guiding our nights,
And
the same sun witnessing
the birth of a new day.

Life is the thread
that keeps us tied
in the perfect knot
to the All of divinity.

Thank you,
Thank YOU,
THANK YOU!

>

The Need to Find Home

growth

“Wisdom tells me I am nothing.  Love tells me I am everything.  And between the two my life flows.” – Nisargadatta Maharaj

I have been self-absorbed lately, so much to the point of trying to find purpose on a life I’ve created from love, faith and the awareness of lessons. Ever since I was a child I have always known what I wanted from life. I’ve never been without goals. Except now I am looking for “home” through the internal maze of consciousness. I am not depressed.  I have bouts of sadness at times because of loss, changes, and those who have come and gone, leaving me to question my humanity. I am left to question my character and how I have been part of others and their drama. But, I am aware that we all live through this because it sums the total of our lives. Without reflection and deep introspect we are nothing.

I was driving back from town early this morning and out of the blue, tears began to flow. I was overcome with joy, giddiness and something else. I know there is no such thing as “out of the blue” because inside of each one of us we know the answer to every moment, feeling, and choice. Our psyche will form false illusions through ego, but we all have the answers. I pulled to the side of the road shaking off “the whatever issue” that was strangulating me. Even though it felt good it also felt sad. It is that “whatever” attitude that brought me into releasing the tears. I was admiring the scenery coming up the mountain as the sun was casting minimal light through the fog making the bright colored leaves even more magnificent. I began to say the word, “home,” out loud.

I am home. At this moment I look back at a some very difficult years. I’ve had to re-establish my sense of identity and my purpose as things have evolved. Every change and challenge has pushed me to question my sanity, beliefs, and connections. I’ve made plans and now have had to deviate from many of them. However, the new journey has been delicious because it has shown me other parts of myself. But, at times thoughts transpire and I recognize them as small hiccups that push the internal needs to frustration.

The Divine has reshaped the map to the future with some humorous points. At times I see the irony and humor in the childish idea that I have control of my life. The joke is on me! I realize what home is now. I see it through the faces of loved ones, the places I’ve lived and the memories collected throughout my days. Home is deeper than a place of residence. It is something in me that remembers and settles with ease. This could be through anything. Home is the essence of who I am.

Something happened when I had the near-death experience almost three years ago. Something significant came back with me deleting all sense of fear. Normal problems now seem ridiculously dramatic circumstances trying to push my higher evolution to learn quicker. In this state of awkwardness I let things fall too easily at times, while at other times they grab a hold of me and suck the air out leaving a vast emptiness with answers to no questions. I don’t understand the struggle here on earth. I don’t comprehend the suffering. Where I went in those moments of leaving my physical body I was at peace.  I was engulfed by a light of love. Nothing compares to that. And this morning as I witnessing the reds, oranges and yellows on the mountains, I recognized that sense of awesomeness that must be experienced as I let go. I keep surrendering with constant clarity that whatever is ahead is rigged in my favor.

I want to live fully. I want to live to the highest desire of my authentic soul. I want to live with passion even when I have no clue to what is ahead. I want to watch sunrises and sunsets as often as I can. I want to see my children grow old, experiencing the magnificence of life. I want my friends around me through the tough and easy times. I want to drink wine, slack off, chase fairies at night, have fun, and still be responsible to know better. I want to keep waking up every morning to the smell of this body aging, growing, and expanding. I want my mate to hold me, touch me gently, wipe my cares and tell me that we will be together until we are not. I want to be guided my synchronicity and serendipity. I want to live a life that is meaningful to that light I witnessed as snow was falling outside of the hospital. I want to continue to hear autumn leaves wrestling while mimicking the sound of rain. I want to experience the changing of four seasons for sixty-something more years. I want to look in the mirror and see the best of me that no other person will ever see. I want to meet strangers and give them a smile to take with them. I want to continue to want things that money can’t buy. I want to stop the urgency of hurt in others and let them know that they are not alone.

Life is truly a bitch at times, but we get this incredible opportunity to make it whatever we want. This is our home. This is my home. Mass consciousness carries energy and it’s time to alter the negative vibes and make them positive ones.

I have become little in my “knowing” while constantly being bombarded by my guides and the remnants of passing souls on a day-to-day basis. It’s not easy to live among the living and still have a foot firmly planted through the veils of reality. I returned from that other dimension with a keen awareness of the miracle of consciousness. There is no description that can do justice to the world outside of this physical one.

Even all these years later I try to make sense of my need to go home when I see beauty unfolding as I did this morning. I continue to struggle with fitting in my body while feeling comfortable in my skin and those around me. I have this achy feeling of not belonging in this reality where the complaints outweigh the contentment in humanity. I haven’t a clue of what I want, as I used to, for so long in my life. There is no grounding until we wake up as spiritual beings. I feel that clearly nudging at me through meditation. There are people truly battling the claws of death through illnesses and they are holding on to life with passion (sometimes through fear). I am blessed to have a chance to stay here and breathe one more day.

We, in this human form, waste so much precious time expecting others to make us happy, tell us what we need and should do, and give us a reason to wake every morning. We live with constant stress of perfection that doesn’t exist. We want to know without having to walk the path. There’s no way! It’s better to live with the wisdom of experience, the open heart of love and the in-between world of accepting that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. It’s okay. It is in that world that, I guess, I find home time and time again. The sadness comes and goes. Joy and grace visit just as often. I will continue to move through this world holding tightly to what I do know is true for me.

As I type this I am witnessing the essence of earth dancing outside. This is the quietude of presence that assures me that what’s to come is beyond anything I could imagine. It’s in that anticipation that the willingness to continue spoils me and brings me joy. Won’t you meet me there? Grab a hold of your truth and let it evolve into the best you there will ever be. Your thoughts are ripples in the waves of mass consciousness. Together we will make this place home!

Gentleness of You

gentle

There is a delicious yoga class, and its sweet instructor, that I like to catch whenever I can once a week. Unfortunately, it’s on Wednesday mornings and I cannot always attend. The yoga place is far from home but this instructor is worth every mile down the mountain into the city. Before each class, Laura (the perfect yogi), shares a quote, discusses something spiritual for practice or just gives a word to take into the hour and fifteen minutes. On this particular day she said that even though the class is called Gentle Flow, that there is nothing really easy about the class. Sometimes in that gentleness and slowness things get stretched and opened. Many times the only thing keeping you is returning to your breath and being aware of all the tightness in the body. She’s right. There are times I have gotten a huge workout from just the simple and slow stretches.

I have thought about her teaching for some time. I am always saying to folks, “Be gentle with yourself.” This doesn’t mean be easy or lazy or live in a constant flow of letting go. It means be kind. Be present. Be available to release whatever comes up without having to run from it. Just like this particular class, gentleness has a way of tapping into the most intense parts of our psyche and body. Gentleness is the essence of pull and release.

Being gentle means having consideration and softness. It means allowing things to rise and fall without pressure. Yoga is showing me parts of my body that I never recognized were tensed. I have been using muscles through these gentle movements that force me to feel deeper about how I carry my stress, emotions, and challenges. I can’t imagine taking one of those intense classes with head stands and fast pace movements. This “gentle flow” works well with where I am right now in my life.

I remember reading a quote by novelist Richard Paul Evans that said, “Sometimes its not the strength but gentleness that cracks the hardest shells.” I happen to believe this to be truth. True gentleness goes deeply into the hardest parts and opens us into who we are meant to be. These days I am moving through a different form of flow. I am embracing the middle age way of carrying myself in the mornings. There are days that my body cracks like a bowl of Rice Crispy cereal making all sorts of sounds. I am forced to be slower and kinder. And, when I speak to myself, in meditation or prayers, I am being conscious, courteous, and cordial with my higher self. I am by no means impatient during my practice. It’s about the only time that I feel the gentleness of the universe embracing me…just like in yoga.

Grace and forgiveness seem to be growing through me these days. There is delicious flow of these aspects arriving through lessons, awareness, and the beauty of accepting all parts of my imperfections.

And now you….

Allow gentleness to flow through your spirit. Don’t talk about yourself in a negative tone. Don’t complain to others about what you can and cannot do. Be kind with your words. Be available to accept defeat and continue through perseverance. You are magnificent. Recognize this greatness and stop the busyness of avoidance. This is life. Be gentle with the journey and yourself. Be the love that gently moves through your heart and onto every other person you encounter in your day.

gentleness

Descending into Ascension

ascension

It just takes one day,

a courageous moment –

if you will –

of allowing your soul

to open up

and descend,

releasing all plans,

conceived notions,

while letting go

the expectations

of finding a safety net

to catch the endless fall

into an unknown abyss.

As you open your eyes

the awareness of ground

brings the clear realization

that you’ve never left

your space or time

because surrendering

bears that freedom

that pushes and is constantly saved

by faith in divinity

and the miracle of accepting

that which you cannot see.

Immediately you will leave ground,

flying eternally

through worlds full of secrets,

ambiguity,

unexplained peace and beauty,

never seen by your imagination.

It is then that your soul

finally meets the real you

embodied in the mystery

of Spirit….

It is then

that you become the authentic

YOU who was created

for this life

full of love and compassion.