Prayers for Clearing Fires

Three years ago the mountains around us burned. We didn’t know if we had to leave our home. Weeks of that intensity took a hold of us. The unknown was weighing right above us a few miles down the road. So now, watching the devastation in California and Australia I am again reminded of the frailty in life. The winds can shift in a single moment and life is forever changed.

Take nothing for granted.

I went into prayer last night so deeply that I left my body on my bed. Hours upon hours of flying over these places pouring sand and water all over the land.

I returned at 1:11am to the sound of our little boy crying. I smiled at the time. When I returned to our bed I was still in a state of jet lag. This happens often.

Let’s continue putting out fires. Let’s continue being compassionate. Let’s be humans with empathy and love.

Sending healing out today. Shifting consciousness is my goal…for me and others to recognize the innate and miracle power that lies within us. We are fire and water and wind and everything else.

I love you.

Help the World Through Love

I was taught about the depth of acceptance this weekend. My daughter gave birth to a baby girl on Saturday. The baby is healthy. She will be going into a loving and safe environment. Along her side was a woman I am blessed has come into her life to guide her. She’s helping navigate the roller coaster of emotions. She’s a true earth angel.

My daughter has brokenness in places I pray will heal. Her inability to see things, due to mental disabilities, is heart wrenching to witness. And yet, she is my daughter. She is my heart. The baby was born a day after her 28th birthday. I am grateful for that. I cannot imagine her spending a lifetime celebrating her birthday with a child she had to give to another to raise.

I was blessed to be given moment by moment messages and conversations as she birthed her. Even many miles away I was there holding her hand and her heart. I pray she gets birth control and we stop the madness. She knows no one can force her do anything. It’s a control mechanism that even with my psych degree I cannot comprehend.

A few days before giving birth she begged me to take the new child in with the other two. I told her I couldn’t. I begged her to make responsible choices. The new baby will go to a loving family who has enriched me with compassionate gifts in love. Those lessons are magnificent.

This week I lifted my daughter with sweet kindness, letting her know she was strong; that she was a fighter; that these children were gifts to the world; that in each of those little souls she lives forever. I asked her to be gentle with herself. I asked her to please be mindful…and other intimate conversations that I’m sure she has already forgotten. Regardless of the words sinking in or not, I will continue to show love.

But somethings do stick. Every so often, in her limited capacity to converse, she shares a snippet of words I’ve said to her in the past. My heart skips a beat. I actually do a bit of a happy dance. I get an aha moment and pray more sticks.

I am her mother. She disappears for a bit and returns to me to let me know I have been her mother since she was 9 years old. She tells me that no one else has ever loved her like me. That’s huge! For her and for me. I take it in and accept it. I will continue to love her for however long love lives in me.

People have judged her due to her irresponsible acts…her choices. And I remind them that she’s human. She has her journey. She’s not a monster. We can dislike her choices but she is still my daughter and I will continue to love her in spite of it all. She is mentally ill. She is navigating in the capacity of her own awareness. If I rejected every mentally ill person I wouldn’t have a job. She deserves the same love a person who is mentally healthy receives. The lessons in true love are not in loving the easy ones. The true experiences are in accepting and loving the difficult ones. Those are the biggest teachers in our path.

Be kind to those who are suffering. Be loving to the addicts, the lost, the homeless, and those who don’t fit in your spectrum of what is normal. You don’t have to fix them. You just have to be loving. The world has so much hate. We do not need to keep fueling it with fear, anger, discrimination, and lower frequencies.

And…ultimately… show up and be in the presence of those who need a little light. Your heart will expand even wider. You have the capacity to transform another by accepting them. I love you. ~m.a.p.

Shift Your Awareness

In a single moment of a challenge and struggle you have two choices: move through love and the knowing that everything happens in divine order; or move through fear and old beliefs. The choice is all in how you accept it. The struggle and problem will still remain. What changes is your perception. And in that shift of awareness you catapult yourself into faith. You either have it or you don’t. Your positive energy will ripple its way into something magical. Your negative energy will create the drama and stagnant result.

It’s never easy when you are facing something that hurts. It’s hard to return to a higher vibration. BUT IT IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE. The more you do it the easier it becomes to return to quantum reality. Your reality.

You hold yourself accountable. Remember that. It’s all an illusion. The reality is that there is no control. There is only your awareness of it all. ~m.a.p.

You Cannot Make Everyone Happy

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It’s Sunday…yay! Most people go to church on this sacred day. Others, like myself, sit outside in nature and give thanks for all we have. This week I have seen some difficult shit on social media. My love-hate relationship with social media is ongoing and disturbing. Just when I think I have someone figured out they post something that is really ignorant or against my beliefs. And, that’s more than okay because I have two choices: I can feel gratitude for their lessons, or get angry and disconnect from them. I rarely ever do the latter. I think people come into our lives for powerful reasons, to nourish the things we like and the things we don’t want to become. We have choices in perception that bleed through our conscious efforts to vibrate at a higher or lower level of existence. (The non-hippies should stop reading now!)

You cannot make everyone happy. I rarely read comments on other sites, but when something moves me I think, “Hey, let me see what others like me are saying about this incredible post.” Oh my freaking gawd! I get turned upside down, right side up, and appalled at how something that is spiritually enriching can be degraded, criticized and scrutinized. That’s when I throw my hands up in the air and recognize that you cannot make the world happy with one thought. We need different ideas and opinions. We would be a boring bunch if we all thought alike. Right?

My mother used to say in Spanish all the time that opinions were like colors. There would always be endless amount of them. No two folks can think alike. We can tweak and twist what we like from others. The challenge comes in not allowing another’s opinions and criticism hurt your mojo and state of awareness. You cannot change anyone. You are only responsible for you!

On this magical Sunday, go out into the world and recognize that you cannot and will not make every single person think like you. I see fairies at night. I see dead people walking among others. If another person doesn’t see what I see I don’t go around thinking, “How can you not see them, you idiot?” I simply smile and recognize that this is who I am. They have other gifts that nourish me. Your only job in this world is to be authentic with who you are. Don’t try to be the jack-ass whisperer and change someone else’s thoughts and ideas. You need to make you happy. Live by example.

Recognize YOUR greatness and follow that. You don’t have to read what I write anymore than I have to agree with what you post. It’s okay. We all need a good laugh!!!!

Have a blessed day!

Live in the moment

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I woke this morning with a sense of calmness. I slept over 12 hours last night. It’s been a long, long, long time that I have slept this hard and long.

For years I have been waking between 4:00 and 5:00 AM to do my meditations. Lately I have been beyond exhausted. I wake to move into the space of sacredness but find myself dreading the motions. This type of exhaustion is debilitating to me. I am the type of person that once I am up, I am up and running. I don’t know where the tiredness is coming from. Could it be almost 5 decades of inhabiting this existence through some incredibly magnificent lessons? Or, a toddler who is reminding me why people shouldn’t have kids in their forties? Or, is it just hormonal? Or, is it the constant negativity that surrounds the world, forcing me again to detach from social media and mainstream information? There are many questions that rise and fall at times. It really doesn’t matter why I am tired. What matters is that I continue to get up even when it feels uncomfortable, because my daily practice is the only thing that I find stabilizes chit chat and puts the ego in time out. 

I have let go of so much in the past few years. My spiritual practice is not something I can live without, especially the early morning prayers and meditation. I can’t entertain the thought of not feeling embraced by Divinity every morning. But, how does one enter the world, day in and day out, feeling completely rested? I have forgotten what that feels like…until this morning. I want this everyday.

I recognize that I am harder on myself than any other living person. I am relentless in making sure I get my things done. I am somewhat unforgiving at times with how fast I want things to transpire. Patience is non existent in my gene pool. It’s horrible. I recognize this and I also know it is often followed by a brutal state of stubbornness. I am working on clearing them both. I am truly being conscious these days of how I interact with my impatience. Every time I light a candle I state my intention with Patience and Love. You would think after a life time I would have it down pat…nope! It is an ongoing process.

I can delete many things from my day. I am sure of it. I have taken a break from Facebook. I have stopped checking my emails every hour. I have detached from drama and anyone who likes to create it. I haven’t read a book in a long time (cause I can’t seem to concentrate long enough). I have made it a point to slow down even at the anger of others who want me to react quicker. I have to do what’s best for me. But, in this interpersonal retreat I’ve noticed that things aren’t going slower for me. They seem to be accelerating and I can’t catch my breath at times. I have to constantly return to mindfulness in my day and ask myself, “Is this worth me getting anxious over? Am I happy right now?”

It truly is about breaking old habits, programming, and expectations.

The answers disappoint me. I keep hearing the no’s a lot. AND, it’s in those whispering “noooo’s” that I have found my truth. Something in this exhaustion is allowing me to push through…into something more. I cannot continue to run around in circles.

I don’t have the answers …yet! But I believe that by stepping back I will. And, I am allowing Patience to sustain me while not giving into the deep restlessness.

Meantime, my spiritual practice will continue to serve as the loving and safe haven that it’s meant to be. I require the morning rituals even if it’s from my bed. I need the space of self-reflection and forgiveness for wanting to do so much in a 24-hour period. But, I am learning to stop the madness and insanity of doing so much that I am constantly in a state of exhaustion. Who is keeping taps on what gets done or not? NO ONE! (Remember this when you believe that your to-do list needs to be finished in one day).

At the end of the day, ask yourself these questions:

Was my soul satisfied with the mindless array of things accomplished on my to-do list?

Did I have fun today?

Did I laugh enough?

Could I have loved myself better?

Did I witness the sunrise, sunset or the birds?

What can I change for tomorrow so I can be more at ease with myself?

Give yourself a break. Give up the things, even if for a short time, that cause you anxiety. This type of anxiety is born from fear (whether it’s fear of not doing enough, or childhood voices saying you are lazy). This type of anxiety is a conditioning and programming from the past. It lacks self-compassion. It’s exhausting.

Let’s find a way to break it. Allow your essence to breathe in nature and life without the constant chit chat of electronics and others. Have a magnificent easy days, my friends! You deserve it…mucho love!

Let it RAIN

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An amazing friend, Aubrey, came by today. If I believed in gurus he would be mine.  His perception and teachings of the world put things in a magical perspective for me…always. Just having him here for a little while was enlightening. I don’t say that lightly. He has life experiences that go beyond what most people witness on a day-to-day basis. He works with mental health and helping beautiful souls get back on their feet. He sees brokenness, desperation, and destitution in many levels. In reality I am grateful for the support system of amazing friends who are like-minded individuals with much to offer in the area of healing. Aubrey is on top of the list.  Listening to him always puts my life lessons in perspective. My stories are nothing. They aren’t the nuts and bolts of anything mechanical that can’t be fixed by me. I am self-sufficient and grateful for each path that has allowed me to develop consciously into a spiritual walk.

Aubrey has always studied Buddhism and has learned to incorporate it into psychology. This is a philosophical teaching that I, too, share with a passionate interest. As an avid reader I am drawn to mindfulness, metaphysical and conscious awareness of daily living. Even with the theories and theological objectivity I find it challenging to put into practice every single moment! But today, he mentioned the Buddhist principle of R.A.I.N. and how it has allowed him to stop and see things in his life with a mindfulness attitude.

R = Recognize.  Recognizing whatever is bothering you and reacting to it firsthand is pivotal.

A = Accepting or Allowing.  Whatever is happening or occurring you must take accountability.  You are only responsible for you and your reactions to things.

I = Investigate or Inquire.  Analyze what is happening and question all possible routes to your issues. Why is this annoying me?  How did I allow this issue to jolt me this way?  Be your own investigative reporter for your story.

N= Not-identify.  Accept that a feeling is just that…an emotion.  Do not take it or own it.  This is the hardest part for most of us.  We are so self-judgmental.  We keep telling ourselves the stories of what has been programmed into our little heads.  And, we choose to believe the worst of everything.  By not identifying you can allow the situation to pass.

I don’t know if Aubrey saw the lights come on or the bells ringing as he finished his sharing and his insightful teachings. These bells sounded like cathedral chimes in my head. I am deeply aware that we are only able to tell the stories that we believe of ourselves (most are pretty darn depressing and negative). We are the truth of each experience but only to the Ego. In spirit we are nothing but the journey. This is why I pray and meditate each day. It is a struggle to be present at times. It is an ongoing exploration of mindfulness especially when there is so much going on in my life. This is exactly when I need to be in deeper awareness. When things are going great there is no need to fill the space with this commitment. We cannot move forward without recognizing and accepting those things that eat at us. Challenges and obstacles reshape us. They force us to inquire about what the soul wants and needs. Ultimately it is not anyone’s business what you think of me and vice versa. The only opinion worth keeping is the utmost value I should be placing on the self.  End of story.

A life without prayer, contemplation, meditation and/or daily self-reflection becomes an empty shell. If you cannot find the time to do this then you are not living authentically. The body needs rest.  The mind needs acknowledgment. And, the spirit needs reflection.  All three bodies need maintenance otherwise we are acting like robots waiting on the next cue to keep moving forward. What do you want? What calls for you? What brings you joy? What is bothering you or eating at you? Why is this important? Why are you allowing another person to dictate your feelings? Whenever you think of this how does your gut feel? If you don’t follow the whispers of spirit they will get louder through illness, ailments, and breakdowns. Follow your yearnings, accept your truths, be kind to your spirit, and participate on self-love. Be the love that you want from others.

The space and times of being alone to contemplate, pray or meditate do not need to be drastic. Take 10 minutes and move outward. Live for your spirit. Trust the whispers. Let it R.A.I.N.  Let it pour through a way that is priceless to your divinity. And, most of all make time to laugh! Laughter uncovers the depth of hurt, malice, and brokenness. You cannot be joyous and depress at the same time. Choose wisely through mindfulness. You are here now and that’s priceless!

(thank you, Aubrey, for being such a beautiful light in my journey)

Angel Whispers

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Every second stories are created by us, for us, with us, and around us. This is life as we inhabit a small piece of real estate in the expanse universe. We are small in comparison to all that is out there. We live among other humans and borrow space from other realms, often times bleeding in and out of their communications. This morning was a perfect example.

I got up, nothing different from any other day. As I was putting on my make-up my husband entered the bathroom asking if he was to take our two-year old to the sitter or was I going to do it? I told him I would. He stared for a second, as I was applying my mascara. I stopped, turned to look at him and said, “Happy anniversary!” To which he asked, “How many do we have?”

I returned the answer, “As many as possible.” Today is actually three years from the day we met. He knows I celebrate anything I can qualify as an stepping stone and a mark in our lives: the first kiss, the first real date, etc. But, today is actually the day we met.

“Are you okay?” He asked with a concern look, his blue eyes holding on to something deeper than what he was seeing.

I stopped. The question halted me into acknowledging what I was feeling in my gut. Something was off and I was thinking before he entered to say goodbye that perhaps I should let work know I wasn’t coming in. For over an hour I had this inkling that didn’t feel right. I have felt this before but today I was willing to ignore it. “I am fine. Have a good day. See you later.”

“You sure?” He persisted with his own intuitive nature.

“Yep!” He kissed us girls and left.

I took just a tad longer to get on the road. I was getting ready to get on the expressway when the car in front of me stopped on a screeching halt, me almost hitting it and the car behind me missing me by a hair. We were all going about 45 MPH. A semi flipped in front of that first car (two cars in front of me) causing a giant accident, blocking the highway. And at that very moment I thought, “Okay, I will listen. I will go home after this is cleared up. I now understand. Thank you!”

Our guides will provide a small nudge when they want us to be safe. If we don’t listen, they will provide a whisper. We can continue choosing to ignore it. Eventually their nudging turns into a scream. It did today. I was too busy having a life to pay attention to that gut feeling that warns me. I know better than this. I can decipher that feeling. The thought came into my mind, “Do not go to work today. Work from home.” I ignored it. And…yet…I was two seconds late for what could have been me under that semi because I chose to drop our little girl off at the sitters. No one was hurt. To me it was a warning flash, and a real crash to stop whatever thought I had about being away from home today. I don’t need to know why I needed to be home. I trust in the highest form of guidance without having to question this.

Stories…. Stories create our psyche, our perceptions, and our lives. I am molded by yours, hers, his, theirs, and mine. The irony of all this is that as I was taking that turn to get on the highway I had one thought, “How much has my life changed in just three years. I don’t know what will happen in three more….” Stop! That incident stopped the chatter. It stopped the thoughts from everything. I don’t need to know anything.  I just need to trust.  I need to continue walking on faith.  I need to allow my intuition to lead. Gratitude took over. My body received the sweet goosebumps and chills that come from my guides when I am being touched.

I share this not because of what could have happened or didn’t happen. That’s all irrelevant. I share because we need to remember that in this world there are things that cannot be explained. Listen to that small voice within you that whispers truth. Pay attention to signs and synchronicity. Acknowledge the changes in your body and how you react to sudden temperatures. Are the lights or electronics going nutty?  (The radio this morning turned off twice in my car.  No reason whatsoever…and yet I dismissed that too). When you hear that high pitch sound in your ear, that’s something above and beyond this consciousness. You are never ever alone. Even the most in-tune person can discard the messages because we are human trying to survive life. Please! Let those whispers from the Divine and guidance lead the way. You got this. Listen closely! You are always loved and cared for…and you are never alone.  Sparkle on….love and light always!