Don’t Just Smell the Roses

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I woke this morning doubting my ability to be human. I feel the ache of those around me.

The deeper one travels down the rabbit hole to understand humanity, the harder it becomes to stay humane. Compassion arrives in the detachment but even that seems to be too much. Forgiveness starts with the self. It goes no further than that today. There is such a tremendous inability to allow consciousness to dictate rather than the ego driven psyche that makes and breaks us. This narcissism is present in me and everyone. I am owning my shit!

But, when does it all stop? You know, this need to point fingers and not take responsibility for our stories? How do we connect with one another? What needs to happen to dispel the PTSD of past experiences that keep us prisoners of bitchiness, mental disorders, and stuck in victimization roles?

Today I will be anything but this. Today I will not just smell the roses in the path. I will caress them, feeling their energy and allow for their beauty to sink in. I will accept those things that need attention and still remain open to the mysteries of life through an open heart. Much love to all!
~Millie

 

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Touching each other through kindness

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There is more good than hate in the world. At least I want to believe that kindness overshadows all the bad out there.

Yesterday I was leaving my house to go get Kali at the sitters and there was a man full of tattoo’s sitting on the guardrails across the street. His motorcycle was off. He was looking down at the ground. I stopped, rolled my window down and asked if he was okay or needed anything. This shocked him. His eyes watered. He was somewhat profoundly astonished. Seriously. He said, “Ma’am, just sitting taking a break and smoking my cigarette. But, Ma’am, thank you for stopping and asking. Folks don’t do that these days. They could care less.”

I said to him, “I care and I believe people do care. Everyone is just in their own world.” He came closer to the car, shook my hand and said, “God bless you.” I said it back and I left. He was a kind man. The depth of his soul was beautiful reflecting through his blue eyes. I’m sure because of appearances he intimidates people.

As I drove off something at that moment made me realize the disconnection of who we are and what we are to others. It is terribly sad. Are we living in a world that disregards others but we are consumed by news and world affairs? We say we want to help the world but refuse to take time to help the ones nearby. Are we so self absorbed with our own stories that we don’t care to look around us?

I wasn’t suppose to hear his story although as I drove off I was tempted to turn around, get out of the car and take time to ask his name. The lesson was just in a moment of exchange for both of us. The profound connection of two people acknowledging presence. And, isn’t that all we want? We just want to be seen, heard, and felt.

God provides us with endless opportunities to show compassion and kindness. When it shows up you evolve because of those encounters. Have a blessed day.

Purest form of love

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The magic of love is in its purest form. A smile across the room, a hug from a child, an ‘I love you’ from a friend, and a cuddle from a pet. The simplicity of a gesture, a look, and a touch is the Creator connecting with us through one another. It’s that authentic and natural. Keep a tally of daily gratitude: “The sun came out today. The cold is less severe. I have heat, shelter, and food.” Love comes through the light in everything around us. Close your eyes for a few minutes and take in the present. You are alive. This is temporary. Will this issue today matter in a year? We are forever evolving, growing and learning. You are always loved. I love a quote by Aristotle: “The secret to humor is surprise.” The single most wonderful feeling is allowing life to surprise you every day. Those are the miracles of the ‘aha moments.” Have a blessed day!

Listening with your heart

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I lost hearing in my right ear the summer of 2015. It happened like a giant boom in my head. I woke up with static and then it felt like an explosion. It didn’t hurt. It didn’t sting. It just felt like nothing was coming in. A doctor checked it out and suggested drops. There was no permanent damage. I feel I just stopped listening to things that were happening around me. I started to tune out and it became permanent.

Throughout the last year and a half I’ve had moments when I feel sensations. I’ve had energy work done to it and sound has started to move through in those moments. I don’t really pay attention to it until someone is mumbling, or they speak really low, or they aren’t in front of me so I can read their lips. That’s when I realize that the sound is being muffled.

I have learned to listen attentively. I’ve always listened to silence so this is not unusual. Because, I feel, more than I hear, the listening part doesn’t affect me. However, sometimes I really really really want to get lost in a conversation and if there are too many voices going on at once I zone out because one ear cannot hold onto everything at once. In order to really listen I must be present.

This is with everything in our lives. It isn’t just about listening or hearing. It’s also about seeing, smelling, and tasting. I live in a world of words, and when I cannot decipher what is being said, I get frustrated. When I ask someone to repeat themselves sometimes the message gets tangled because that person is now frustrated for having to say it again. I have noticed that my left ear has lost some of its power to fully listen. It now takes all of me to be present when someone is speaking to me and I want to hear every syllable…because what is being said is important.

Being attentive is an art I am learning with this small challenge. I must partake completely rather than multitask. I must be in complete focus to hear the things said and those that escape the ears. Losing my hearing has also been a gift in the most loving and powerful ways. It has allowed me to stop everything else around me in order to see, feel, and digest what is being said. It has also magnified other senses around me to make up for loss. This has been magnificent.

I urge you to be present when another is speaking. And if I, or anyone else, asks that you repeat yourself please be patient. The moment someone who can’t hear feels another person’s frustration everything shuts down. I get embarrassed often when someone shows me their frustration for repetition, so I’ve learned to nod and smile rather than continue asking. Somethings get lost in that translation.

Listen with your heart…and the ears never need to find sound. These days I am listening with my emotions rather than anything else. Even in your silence I can decipher what you are feeling…so if I hold your hand for no reason it is because my heart feels you and hears your aches. It’s in those intimate moments when you are near me that I can truly see your words in the language of love. I love you. Have a blessed week, dear friends!

Sloppy Spirituality

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For whatever reason we place everything before our faith and spiritual practice: career, children, spouses, house work, drama, and all the busyness that comes with our humanness. Spirituality seems to come as a last alternative, full of shameful guilt for not doing more, we touch it with half of our soul’s yearning.  Meditation and prayer come in moments of desperation. It becomes an assignment of negotiation with God.  The truth is we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

Spirituality is not perfect. It isn’t stuck in a box of rituals for each person to follow. Spirituality is sloppy and chaotic at times. Our spirits desire the awakening experience. The Divine is in us waiting to be touched and held. My mornings require ritual: lighting candles, incense, saying my prayers to enter the world, and sitting in silence with a cup of coffee or tea. I need these moments of deep awareness as I open my curtains and allow the outside to join my space. I need to show my spirit gratitude for another breath. This is not a perfect ritual of contemplation but it is mine to uncover and welcome Divinity into my day. It is mine to join with the joy and acceptance of every single day.

Spiritualism accepts the imperfections, the messy lives, the brokenness, the unsaid truths, and everything under the spectrum that we think is not acceptable in organized religion. Why do we hide behind the façade of impeccable accomplishments? It seems that faith is based on what we can see and control rather than the acceptance of the unknown. We practice spiritual perception with fear of what we don’t know and can happen. What would happen if we allow synchronicity to dictate our days?  If we moved with serendipity rather than against it?  If we no longer feared the future? What would happen to us then if we allowed something greater than ourselves to move through us as the Commander in Chief of our lives?

At the end of your life you will not regret the lack of another degree, not having bought the little red sports car, not getting that expensive house, not having enough money in the bank. You will regret not having spent more time in nature, holding a friend’s hand in need, missing your child’s recital, not taking walks with your beloved, not speaking your truth, and so many other things that might seem irrelevant at this moment. You might feel ashamed for the time not spent with Divinity, kisses from your children, hugs from your parents, and sweet words from a lover. You will wonder why you didn’t sit and relaxed more, breathed the earth deeper, and allowed each moment to count just as it is meant to touch you. The things most important in life have nothing to do with money, winning, status or work. They have to do with love, sharing and other moments invaluable to your spirit. The first and only person you need to answer to is yourself.  The second is your faith. Give each moment the degree of importance it needs to be cherished and enjoyed. Be present in your conversations, visits, and life.  Don’t waste time worrying about the things that stress you, or the to-do list. Don’t be overwhelmed with anxiety for what could not happen and participate in the moment you have available right now. This is part of sloppy spirituality:  the deep awareness of each breath, touch, and leaving everything behind. It is about reprogramming your senses, needs, and releasing the control of what we have been conditioned to be religious beliefs.

I rather live a messy spiritual life than one of conformed social expectations while living inside of a make believe fantasy that never witnesses the miracle of God. I rather behold the eyes of someone speaking with me and truly seeing their soul unfold. That’s the most beautiful form of spiritual wisdom. I can’t think of anything more whole to experience the oneness of our existence.

What We Leave Behind

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I used to think that it was important to leave something behind in life as a legacy for others to acknowledge my existence.  For most of my life I kept journals, poetry books, albums and all sorts of pasted memory books documenting my journey here. Several years ago I stopped.  I was losing myself in trying to leave a life behind while not being presently available now.  I was tired of leaving a token of my existence for others to find.  I decided I was going to touch more, love harder, and be present with those in my life.  What better legacy but time?

We are always trying to leave footprints behind for others to find.  Sometime ago during a visit from one of my sons we were sitting around discussing legacies.  He asked me what I would like to leave behind as a remembrance of my life.  I said, “My laughter.  I want people to think of me and think that I was fun.  I want to believe that I touched someone through my sense of humor.”  His eyes watered with that simple answer. He was expecting me to say something of greatness or about love.  But, I believe that joy is the catalyst to other emotions.  Joy and laughter open up love, empathy, compassion, and kindness.

What carries on after death? The lessons, mistakes, triumphs, and achievements are not so much of importance in the past as they will be in the future.  We take for granted what must be learned rather than learn what we take for granted because of worrying about the future.  It is the present that emphasis must be placed upon in order to correct anything else in our path.  Legacies are moments.  Moments consist of time.

Death is a state of consciousness.  It is one of the many stages through the infinite. I witnessed this first hand in January when I had the near death experience.  At that moment of leaving the physical body I was not a bit concerned with my legacy.  I didn’t think about the things I should have done.  I didn’t ponder or cry about the things I didn’t get to do.  My only thought was, “Where will this light take me?  There’s nothing like this. There never was.”

We are here passing through: for learning, accumulating, and exercising the greatness of our existence.  There is no real secret to life.  That’s perhaps the secret.  We all want to know that we’ve mattered. We have.  I have.  You have.  We are here in this melting pot together making our way home.   Every day I am gifted favorable circumstances.  I get opportunities of love (giving and receiving), forgiveness (for mistakes and misunderstandings), learning (beyond my means), dreaming (manifesting all my desires), kindness, and compassion (without them I am not human) so that my spiritual, physical and emotional bodies can evolve into greatness.  This greatness is called life. Make each moment count with joy, surrendering abandonment for the past, miracles for the future, and appreciation for being present at all times.  Laugh at the silliness, forgive the hurt, love those who you never thought you could.  Allow these opportunities to map out the journey.  You got this!  No one else can do it for you.  Create the greatest story of YOU!  That’s your legacy.

“Inside of all of us there is the need and the desire to be heard, to have our innermost thoughts, feelings and desires expressed for others to hear, to see and to understand. We all want to matter to someone, to leave a mark. Writers just take those thoughts, feelings and desires and express them in such a way that the reader not only reads them but feels them as well.” ~ Vicktor Alexander