Old Programming of Running Away

Running is my default when things get hard and heavy. I automatically go into that mode and have to talk myself out of it. It’s exhausting! And at mid-century of a timeline I am getting better at breathing through it. I am better at stepping back and not reacting immediately. I have come a long way…but the programming is still there and it takes a while to readjust my thinking.

Running away is easier. It releases me of responsibility of dealing with whatever the obstacle or challenge. Running comes with a romantic fantasy that wherever I end up won’t be where I am.

This is all bullshit but it’s still my default programming. It’s still the first thought that appears when shit hits the fan. It’s my immediate flight response. I don’t fight. I just go around the issue and truly hope I drown it in fairy dust. Usually when I step away it resolves itself, or I happen to let it go so long that the universe aligns with my desires.

So…I stay put. I breathe through the challenges. I step away from the ego chit chat and face the discomfort. I disconnect from that particular moment and define what’s important. I begin to take accountability through gratitude. And I enter my spiritual practice for however long it takes to readjust my compass. I basically put myself in Time Out!

Running might be part of my DNA but I can overcome it. My father ran from every responsibility. In his absence I’ve learned to detect, accept and reject whatever is causing me turmoil.

The worst scenario for a runner is the feeling of stagnation and feeling stuck. It’s a slow death. A shift in perception and a deep spiritual practice have been my saving grace.

What do you overcome?

How do you shift your default programming?

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed?

Time is in Your Favor

holding time

It’s the middle of February. Already! I don’t quite know how things are happening so fast. We are emotionally and spiritually spinning in giant vortexes. Friday night I didn’t sleep. I was in and out of meditation most of the night…swirling up and down and all around the universe. I was feeling the universal forces in motion and it felt like my heart was going to give out. Not a good feeling for an empath.

It feels as if timelines are collapsing. Every day I hear of another suicide close to me, or someone six degrees from me. The bodies and minds can’t take the changes. It’s okay to not have the answers. It is NOT okay to give up without trying to reach out. I work in mental health and I am experiencing a higher degree of de-fragments. I am witnessing emotions dictating actions and creating deadly reactions.
I wish I could say I am sleeping well. I am not. I am moving from one timeline into another. My night activities are as chaotic as the waking day time ones. I’ve concluded that even through meditation I cannot slow down the times. They aren’t suppose to be slowed down because we are shifting and it’s part of mass consciousness upgrades. Discomfort pushes growth.
But what are we being pushed into?
I don’t know but when I go into the space of love and peace…when I enter sacredness I see a different world. I can hear John Lennon’s song, “Imagine” in my heart. And this, darlings, is what I feel is the pushing. Things are changing, especially when you detach from the news and media. You will find just by looking around your tribe and circles that we are returning to authenticity and truth.
I urge you to be gentle with yourself. Old traumas and programming are coming up. We are being asked to clear the things that are toxic in our lives. We are required to cut cords of things that cause us pain. We are being redirected to notice what sets our desires on fire: creativity, travel, gathering with like-minded folks, family, nature, spirituality and so much more. It’s no wonder we are being stripped of hurt, shame and guilt.
Our lives are changing. Technology has clearly forced us to live at a faster pace but it can also be utilized to slow down. You do not have to depend on it for every little thing. If the phone rings, you don’t have to answer. The emails and texts can wait. Social media doesn’t have to be touched all day long. We have become slaved to the things we complain about…too much stimuli.
What’s happening OUT THERE is also being felt immensely in here. Politics, religion, and everything else is keeping you in a prison of mind control. You are being given what to think and digest instead of you searching for what you really want in life.
So, once again…I am retrieving for a bit. I am experiencing a lot of chaos around me. The external noises are as loud as the ones I visit at night in sleep or meditation. Something has to be done to slow it down. I write everyday and I feel I need to return to journaling and the simplicity of pen and paper. I find that in times of real healing and release it is the pen that shows me truth. It never fails since I was a little girl.
Find your center core. Time is in your favor…you get to decide how you move through these challenging times. Bring love and forgiveness to it. Let go of old should’ves and could’ves. You are here for a reason and it isn’t to punish yourself for past experiences. It isn’t to torture your soul for sins that pushed you to grow. Let that go and allow the new you emerge in peace. But, please, if you can’t find someone to talk to I am here. Email me…I will check periodically dharma.1111@hotmail.com.
I love you…
Millie

The Divine Within

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In India there is a Sufi story about creation and where to put God (or the Divine or whatever name you place on a higher power): “If we put God at the bottom of the ocean, man will dive there. If you place God on a mountaintop, man will climb there in search of him. But if we put God inside of him, man will never think to look there.”

In many spiritual philosophies and theories it is said that the next teacher is just around the corner. When needed to grasp a powerful lesson she (or he) will appear as a mighty ferocious warrior ready to embark you in a journey questioning faith, love and patience. In a second she takes her sword to conquer the ego and the false perception of truth, control and belief. Usually this great warrior appears in the path of adversities, addiction, loss, physical crisis or a significant event that forces us to search for inner strength. And it is in her presence that we are humbled to bow and listen while she takes that sword and smacks it on us to pay close attention to what is important leaving us bruised, achy and tired.

I am blessed to have had a warrior like Xena show up recently. I am being pushed to those extremes and reminded that nothing happens by mistake. Her teachings are magical and condensed to make the lessons stick without much time to rest before the next battle. It’s in those times that I get quiet and find the God within me and how I don’t have to run around looking for him out there. I get to see him looking at me through the eyes of another –a soul-to-soul mystical connection. I get to witness true cosmic changes through every action and reaction.

This is the Divine Feminine in me reminding me of my strength. It is God through all others that reflects those parts of myself that need improvement or attention. I am embraced by divine energy shielding me from any real harm. I am what I am. I am who I am and I will not apologize for that. We all have the power to look within and find God. He/she isn’t on some cloud in the sky treating you like a puppet. He isn’t to blame for your choices. He isn’t here to punish you. He/she is within the walls of your physical body, the embodiment of all that is humble,compassionate, and graceful. It’s our nature to detect, accept and reject what doesn’t suit us. You can only meet another at the level of their consciousness and divinity.

How Ahhhhmazing, right!? To know that no matter how far and wide you search for faith, it is sitting right inside of you the whole time. And it is through the external forces of another that we are reminded of our divine purpose and our right to keep compassion for those who hurt us. It’s through forgiveness that we find God really displaying our humanness. It’s through the miracles of love that we accept it in us. I am forever grateful for the opportunity to strengthen my tools, heart and mind in this game called life.

Pick A Cause

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Pick a cause that moves you. Grab onto a reason to wake up in the morning. If it’s children, help them find homes, create places for them to grow safely in…teach and change the world one child at a time. They are the future!

If it’s politics or religion or history or whatever…pick a cause that inspires and transforms the world through educating and not demoralizing. Help others see the endless ways to help in our world. Adjust your sails and move through love while helping others. It might be challenging and frustrating but if you believe in it you will conquer it all.

If it’s the environment…go clean the rivers, help small villages get water, and do it because you want it for you and no one else. Through selfless acts of kindness you will find results.

If you can no longer stand to see abuse then volunteer in a shelter. Feed the homeless. Stand for those who have been hurt and are in complete destitution. They need others to lift them with laughter, a touch, and a word of kindness. They need a rope who can help pull them out of darkness. Be their light. Even if it’s just for a day.

If you want to change the world make sure you do it out of your love and compassion. You cannot teach and educate through hate and corruption. Follow the ache and passion that makes you shine this life with greatness.

We each have a calling. I don’t care what it is. You might say you don’t have one, that you weren’t given one by divinity. You have. I promise you. And the moment you start to follow the things that make you smile you will begin to unveil it. Life will be sweeter because of it. Of course there are obstacles and challenges. Nothing that’s worth doing comes easy, otherwise we wouldn’t do it. We aren’t made for easiness. We like drama and complications. But, it doesn’t have to be that way.

Helen Keller was blind, mute and deaf. She lived in a time that did not have all the amazing means and opportunities to help her evolve. HOWEVER, she learned to communicate with the world through a wonderful teacher. If she, who could have died in self pity, overcame such adversities and obstacles has changed the world what makes you think that you can’t? There are NO excuses. Absolutely not one single thing stopping you from doing small acts of joyful things in your life. You are the one stopping you!

It’s easy to stand back and bitch about the world. It’s easy to judge another. You know what takes courage? You know what really takes freaking guts? To stand for what you know is right while making a small change in your own life. It takes a tremendous amount of vulnerability to follow that which sets fire in you. You might have to jump over hurdles. You might have to set boundaries with others. You might even have to burn some bridges…but once you start to acknowledge, what and who you are, there is no way your purpose will not appear.

Not everyone will be Buddha or Helen Keller or Mother Teresa or Jesus. You are you and in that uniqueness you get to help another see the beauty and goodness of this lifetime.

Stop wallowing in the no’s, the cant’s, and start waking up to the endless possibilities of your soul. You are magnificent. Start to act like it, please!

Listen to your body and your spirit. It will always tell you how to act, react, love, pray and try. By stopping and paying attention to everything you are allowing spirit, not ego, to watch out for you. It’s that simple. You have the ability to change your programming. You can transform YOU into anything and anyone you desire.

You are THE One!

I love you. Mucho!!!

Discomfort

The discomfort of the unknown is a reminder to sit and let go. We don’t have to know what will happen today or tomorrow. We have little control of how things play out. We can try to manipulate one direction and things will turn out the opposite. SO…sit and be. Accept the discomfort. Honor it. Don’t reject it because it intensifies. I think it’s in the not knowing that our true essence rises to a higher level of consciousness. We begin to trust. We are lead by faith.

As we begin another week be gentle with yourself. Be kinder with your spirit. Try and let go of expectations that are serving nothing more than creating fear and anxiety. In control lies illusion. Let it go. We all have been programmed to worry and hold tightly to things that are out of reach. Just be!~ BE in the present moment and allow things to unfold. As Rumi said, “Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor.” It is! Your spirit will always guide you towards excellence…don’t stop it or try to manipulate it. Follow your inner guidance. That’s never wrong!

There are intense energies shifting through us all. We are witnessing it within our own circles, outside in the world, and even in ourselves. Meditate, pray, contemplate and be in nature. Your soul will thank you for it. Have a lovely week and mucho love…Millie