Intentions of Purpose

magic

In the quietness

I find myself

awkwardly infusing

trying to make sense…

 

In the silence

I find God

waiting for my return

to the union

of spirit and self…

 

In the solitude

I find the Universe

engulfing me,

weaving the cascades

of humanity,

encompassing all…

 

In the peace

I find me

and all that’s not

in the here and there

of the world

full of illusions

when nothing seems real…

 

except the light of the Divine

holding me

through the essence of all

that is love.

Rain

sun reclaiming skyI love days like this

when to look out the bedroom window

becomes a gift in witnessing

the dance and symphony

between life and nature

over the pond into the distance

of other lives, mountains, and emptiness.

I sit in awed and marvel

between this moment and the next

curled up on my bed.

This overcast is a reminder

to go within quietness —

the vast stillness —

as it engulfs me in one second.

I am in love.

I am in complete surrender

of cool wetness

and so very grateful that I can be here

to travel the journey between

God and the earth

all while closing my eyes

and whispering a single prayer.

Imprints in the Sand

Footprints in the sand 

Stick like silence

Penetrating for just a while

Until water washes them away. 

 

I hear your words

Through the quietness 

Instilled between us

As layers of time

Cover the spaces

And you come in and out

Of the shoreline 

Bringing whatever 

Suits you in a moment. 

 

Don’t be fooled

By my generosity to stand

Near you eternally.

It doesn’t mean I won’t 

Love you —

Just not in the way

You want.  I’ve become 

A shell sustained

By the harshness of

Substance hitting

Rocks, grinding into depth,

And traveling alone. 

 

I am not a doormat

To clean the sand

Any time you feel 

Willingly able to enter

Me. 

I left my footprints

Somewhere far away

Along with the quietness 

Of my undying love. 

 

I will be here for the 

Humanness you deserve,

Not the escape 

You use to drown the pain

That had become 

The customary purpose

Of our union.  

 

“Forever” is too long….

Love of Friends

I’ve had a lovely weekend with friends.  It’s been refreshing, relaxing and rejuvenating in many ways.  It’s been easy and stress free.  To add to the beauty of three days, snow started to fall before they departed.  In this quietness and stillness of nature, it is time to retreat and reminisce about the love I have for these friends.  True love never forgets.  The love of friends, children, parents, lovers, and even animals is endless when the heart is completely opened to them without holding any judgments.

The beauty of spending time with loved ones is the sharing of everything.  Just in sitting around talking, eating, laughing, drinking, taking it all in stride with no pretenses or plans allows spirit to visit and stay.  We sat on the deck of our pond in deep conversations while laughing up a storm.  Each person shared experiences and the moments were pure perfection.  It doesn’t take me much to reach that ease when others are comfortable.  I am brought to the awareness of why we bought this place.  We wanted to share this peaceful setting with strangers, friends and family.  Our main intention has been to let love lead the way.

Love is like a baby.  It holds no fear or judgment.  It exists without conditions.  It just wants to be held, accepted and cared for.  True love is endless.  And this weekend has allowed me to see with loving eyes the love that has stared back from my friends.   It has fallen from the sky, softly like the snow outside, covering the ground and all of me with gratitude and beauty.

I-Know-It-All Syndrome

I have come to understand that some people suffer from the “I-know-it-all Syndrome.”  It’s painful, not so much for the person with the syndrome but for the person sharing a story and being told that the other person knows exactly what they are going through.  That’s total bullshit! Please forgive that last comment but it is the only way I can truly express the way I feel.

I can’t possibly know what you are going through, EVER.  You are a person with your own lessons, feelings, experiences and a path that is completely different from my own.  We can walk similar journeys but by you being who you are it is arrogant and narcissistic of me to assure you that I know how you are feeling.  Impossible! Let my quietness be an answer to your voice and assurance.   Let my silence and smile be the answer to your story.  I want my facial expressions be all you need to know about how I feel.   And, knowing how I wear my every emotion on my face at all times that should be sufficient.

There are people who I truly want to hear their stories.  I want to sit with them and have them share the heartache, the laughter, the joy of traveling on this life.  I want to agree with them but not because I suffer from this stupid syndrome of knowing it all.  When I say “I know” I am acknowledging what you are going through. I don’t know crap.  I can only manifest my own notion of what is going on in your very existence.  That’s all I can give you.  If I cry at your experience, then let me share that with you.  If I laugh may you know that I am not laughing at you but with you.

But how I love those individuals who will one-up your drama to a Broadway Spectacle.  They will always have something much better and miserable to add to your story (by making it about them).  I love screwing with them at that point.  My sarcastic wit takes over and I am on the worst role you have allowed me to play in your life.  You bought into it at this point!

I remember my mother, bless her soul, was somewhat of a hypochondriac.  My ex one morning told her that his testicles hurt just to screw with her.  She said, “Don’t tell me anything else, I have had such a horrible pain in mine.”  To this he said, “I had no clue you have cojones.”  She then said her ovaries were hurting her.  I laughed for days.  She always made sure her illnesses were more intense and severe than anyone else’s.  And, this type of consistent behavior from those who know it all seems to be more prominent in our lives the older we get.  People want to be heard.  They want to be acknowledged that their stories are more important than anyone’s.  The need to be loved and accepted is an epidemic that seems to be transforming into depression, anger and a lack of self-love in our society.

Next time you hear me say, “I know” please keep me in check.  I don’t know anything about what you are going through.  I only know what happens in my life.  I promise to keep you in check too whenever your “I-know-it-all” Tics come into play.  It might just be the last time the syndrome will appear in our conversation.  Someone has to knock you off that mighty high pedestal with some laughter.