We Are Not Okay But We Will Be

We are not okay.

To pretend that we are is not allowing the soul to breathe.

Blacks have felt it forever.
Hispanics have too.
Jews, Muslims, gays, and everyone who has a label. EVERYONE who isn’t white.

Some of us hide it…. pretty darn well. We don’t let the anger come up.

I feel you, darling. I feel the oppression, the historial sense of rejection. I get it.

We are not okay. We are NOT. Look outside your little world of comfort and truly notice how we are not.

I think of how much work we still have ahead in this country, in this world, in order to finally breathe in the words of comfort: “Ah! I am okay now!”

Black lives matter. How are we still fighting for this right? We’ve come so far on so many other levels.

If love and compassion are the greatest tests for this human experience, we are failing. Miserably! We are so disconnected from why we are here.

But, let’s face it, we have failed as a civilization. The world is always moved through chaos and disaster before it gets better. Wars are created from that egotistical stance.

Peace isn’t that far away. I pray. I send the frequency across the grids of the globe.

I sit with coffee at hand, my biracial children next to me, and I whisper to my soul, “We are gonna be okay. You will be fine. I promise. The world is entering a massive shift, elevating from the darkness!”

And just like that, as if he heard my soul’s plead, my 3 y/o looked up at me and said, “I love you, mommy. We okay.”

Let’s Try and I Ride the Uncertainty

Oh darlings!

I’m sure I’m not alone in the heartache. We are experiencing a new level of pandemic. And I don’t have a clue how we will greet the weeks or the upcoming months. I’m at a loss. And it’s okay to be here because we may experience a lot more.

Today I am livid. I am angry at the isolation of almost three months. I am exhausted for not having much time alone other than maybe an hour or two a week when I take off. I am hurting for the collective. I am mourning what was and what may become a new life. I don’t know! But I am truly allowing myself the ability to sit with it because I can’t do much else at this point. I am not alone, yet I feel deeply alone in my thoughts.

I sat in my garden yesterday and made this video. However, I must add that violence does not fix violence. And I know, that millions feel that without it nothing changes. I can’t agree. I feel that we are dealing with forces that feed the lower vibrations. So when you continue to feed hate with hate you basically stay in a loop. No resolution.

Destruction of properties doesn’t do anything but fuel the fire. Violence against each other isn’t allowing for resolution but magnifying what we original stand for which is no more racism. We want justice. But justice with more injustice has never worked. The issue is separation and how we meet desegregation.

I don’t know how to fix the virus of hate. We’ve been in a war for thousands of years. This is just another battle. But what is now different is that energetically timelines are splitting and the next several months will see some resolution for many of us. We will find our place. We will use our voices to help. We may not be in the frontlines of the fight but we must continue to raise the frequency of the planet. So much will be coming up and out. We will have to hold each other up. First we must let go of the fear. We must let go of expectations.

Be kind and mindful of people’s perspective. Have compassion for those who do not think like you. You have had your experiences. They have theirs. We will meet somewhere in the middle.

I wish to God that I didn’t feel the anxiety that is moving through my body that arrives from not wanting to feel the chaos. So I will not fight it. I will continue to show up through love. I’ve experienced violence and hate in my personal life and what has shifted the events has always been nonviolent actions and love. My voice has changed the outcome of those personal narratives.

Lightworkers …. this is your moment. This is why you’ve been shedding so much of your traumas lately. This is why you are here. You have been healing in order to help others transition into the higher vibrations. This 3D programming is dissolving.

Please message me if you are struggling. Let me know how we can navigate together. Stay in your knowing. Embrace your love. We are divine beings created especially for these battles. Let’s rise!

A Great Awakening

I’ve had months of shedding tears … usually at the most importune times. For the longest time my heart has literally ached. The isolation was the beginning of an emotional turmoil. The uncertainties added in not knowing how we would navigate a deadly virus. Then there was the caring for small children without a break. I had to put my goals on hold and I recognize I wasn’t alone. I have mourned it all. And it hasn’t stopped.

I have felt the shifting of global energy during the last three months. I have felt major conscious awakenings in me and others. The woo-wooness has been grand. I have felt intense energy at times foreseeing a major war in each of us. It has been liberating and brutal at once.

We are in the midst of chaos and the tipping scales get determined by how we show up. Every single decision alters our reality.

We must change. We have to rise to a new level of living together without hate, racism, judgment, and apathy. This isn’t new. This is an old paradigm that requires a major overtaking. We are here together in this perfect storm to eradicate this division once and for all.

I have cried. I’ve been sad. I’ve been frustrated. And at times I’ve been angry. I’ve been beside myself while pulling roots from the earth and in myself. All the emotions have triggered other releases. I have been prudent in finding the precious lessons in it all. I feel helpless in my pursuit to show up. But I am here. And I see the break across our land.

I have witnessed the disappointments in others. I am feeling it all through the inconceivable heartache in our country. Being a minority I have lived indifferences and discrimination. I fight it in my own way through love. It’s not that I am a pacifist (or unrealistic) as much as I am a true believer that hate has never won a war over love. Ever. Never.

I don’t care what race you are it is absolutely atrocious to witness the injustice at this time. But I am also giddy at experiencing the expansion of what’s coming. Change is coming. We are no longer going to put up with any of it. It’s taken all these recent human losses for a radical revolution.

But…
We must let go of the fear. We cannot fix a single issue if we move through fear at this moment.

It is time to rise. We are exactly where we are suppose to be. Please use your anger and hurt to fuel this opportunity in a loving and constructive manner. Hatred towards hate will just create a wild fire that cannot be contained.

Let us take these moments for shifting through benevolence, compassion and grace. And, no, sitting here wishing it away won’t do it. Actively participating in educating, interaction, communication and bringing the darkness to light will create a profound ripple effect. It means getting involved with changing laws. It means standing up and using your voice in an intelligent and loving manner.

I see you. I feel you. We can utilize this moment to teach the world how we transform hate through unity as one nation. United we stand, divided we fall.

Hate Will Stop

This hate will stop. It stops with me giving it power.

This is not about policemen being racist. Or some privilege woman moving through her own fears and backwards programming. It’s not about political parties enhancing hate. It’s about the imbalance in humanity. And yes, some groups do heighten the hate. But, ultimately it’s a humanitarian issue.

Since the beginning of time there has been a separation in how we show up in our world. There have been disastrous wars over religion and politics. There have been genocides over powerful hate for one class and another. The labels and boundaries have always been there because we put them there.

Racism, prejudice, segregation, bigotry and inconceivable hatred have always been around. But we didn’t have the ability to see it happening as quickly as we do now.

The more power we give to it the faster it spreads. We get to shun and shut it down by truly teaching through empathy.

And… it’s so hard to be sympathetic when horrific crimes are being committed. It’s hard to sleep when you see and hear the injustice in our world. It’s sickening! I guess it takes a virus to spread to take notice and I don’t mean COVID19. I mean the virus of pure evil hatred.

It’s all coming to the light. It’s happening quickly and frequently so we shift it as a collective.

We are ascending. Many are moving from this 3D frequency into higher ones. And to witness the hurt and hatred in the world feels impossible to navigate.

We are experiencing the morphing of a massive awakening. Let’s not forget what the last few months have taught us about connections. We were in a global crisis together with disregard for race, gender, age and anything else that we have created to separate us. We are still in it. Don’t think for one minute this will go away so quickly.

Our choices are to continue loving and keeping that frequency. Or, stay in fear and hate. You can’t have both.

We are seeing the end of a massive karmic event. We have allowed all this shit to happen and now we are taking stance. And many are appalled that they are seeing what they are seeing. Because… so many have been asleep.

Be gentle as they wake to the horrors. Be kind and compassionate just because you were aware beforehand. It doesn’t make you better or higher in gene pool of humanity. Let’s remove ego out of the equation.

We are actually able to change it all. The majority of the collective is becoming aware of their inner power. We get to decide how we show up.

Love trumps hate over and over. I don’t care what you believe. If your political or religious preference fools you to believe that we are okay then you truly will continue evolving through hate. You are stuck in a loophole of some serious old programming.

I choose love. I choose to love and forgive the lack of humanity and awareness while continuing to move through love. Because… I know it is love that will save humanity. It is love that made us and it is love that will raise us. This doesn’t diminish the atrocity. It doesn’t erase what is happening. I cannot throw fairy dust and then hide my head in the sand. I get to decide if I continue giving hate more power or reinforcing our natural state of compassion.

I love YOU. ❤️

Never Too Late

I visited my elderly client who is under hospice care this morning. She was asleep in a wheelchair in the hall of the facility. I grabbed another wheelchair and sat in front of her.

She woke to my touch. “Hello, darling! How are you?”

Disoriented she looked at me and said that she was okay but didn’t like where she was at. She went on to complain until I smiled and asked her a few questions. She nodded then and agreed it wasn’t so bad. Her dementia has progressed significantly the last month as she is transitioning. She even said she was waiting for me but she has no clue who I am.

“Tell me something new, my love?” I asked.

“I was at a concert yesterday. The entire day. They played black people music.” Her blue eyes opened widely.

“What’s black people music?” I asked waiting for some logical answer. She has been a racist all of her life and extremely feisty. She’s been verbal about it. But today I saw change.

“You know…black music!”

“You mean, like soul music….Music that gets into your soul and makes you move with the best beat?”

“I guess. They asked me if I wanted to stay and I told them I was happy to. I needed that music.” In the midst of her delusion “they” are people of authority. She continued explaining how the music made her feel. She kept sighing and sharing the lightness in her body.

It was absolutely delightful to witness this. Her story was fascinating.

I got off the wheelchair and dropped to my knees in front of her. She touched my cheek. I rubbed her hands. I kissed her soft skin.

“Oh sweetheart, I feel that’s heaven. Don’t you? There must be soul music up there. I like to believe that there is the sound of black people jazzy music in the afterlife. I want to believe there is some Louisiana symphony that makes you come alive….”

She interrupted me, “Yessss! I want that. I want to dance to black people music in heaven. Oh yesss!” Her eyes tearing with such loving awareness. It was pure yumminess. And a gift of awareness for me.

Folks, it’s never too late to have a change of heart. It’s never too late to change your ways. It’s never too late to accept the world and rejoice in diversity. Ohmygosh….to witness this woman transform before her death and allow herself the acknowledgment of equality is huge. She’s 85. It’s never ever too late.

I walked out listening to the sounds of soul music from heaven. She’s ready to go home. I hear the trumpets playing….

~m.a.p.

Safety Must Be Kept On Here

I want you to come close. I want you to feel my words in this post. If I can relate a single message to you it is to stay open to love and acceptance. It is to stop fearing what you don’t know or understand because of a different point of reference. We all come from diverse backgrounds.

Back in April my husband and I traveled to Peru. We visited the most amazing places. While in Cusco we noticed something unlike anything experienced here in the states. Children ran free. My husband would say constantly, “Safety’s off!” All throughout main streets little children were walking around. They weren’t orphans. They belonged to the community. The entire city takes care of their kids. They watch over them. We asked everywhere we went. It was shocking for us to witness it and by the end of our trip we understood that their society has come together to raise the next generation. It’s beautiful to witness.

It scared me to see three and four year olds so close to the roads. Or, walking around among strangers. Or, running through dark alleys. We aren’t used to this. But, safety as we know it were off. An entire city, and small villages, takes care of their young ones. They make sure they are fed. They make sure to keep all eyes on them. The children all know it. They don’t test their boundaries because they are free to roam. Free range babies!

We live in one of the most powerful nations in the world. We used to be the admiration capital of all other countries for a long time. Unfortunately, safety measures are always on. Safety is never off. We have a huge problem with our children. Our country has children available for fostering and adoption but it’s freaking chaotic to reach the system. Unless you witness these issues firsthand there is no way to explain it. The laws are ridiculous. And now we have a heartbreaking reality of how we treat children from other countries, separating them from their families who flee from a life of destitution. They come here to give their children a better life. This is not an immigration problem. This is deeper than that.

There are two issues that cause tremendous arguments in our world: politics and religion. If your belief system constitutes in you believing that keeping children in prisons away from their families is humanitarian and compassionate then you need a new belief system. You may rationalize it anyway you want but there is a huge imbalance with your moral compass. This is not about what’s right for our nation. This is what is broken with our society. This is a humanitarian issue not a political or religious one. This is dividing us and tearing us completely apart into fear and hate…and disgust.

I am pretty good about putting blinders on when it comes to other things. I don’t go into issues that lower my vibration or energy. But when it comes to children and the elderly population I cannot ignore it. I want to live in a world that safeties are off and I don’t have to worry about my children being taken or hurt. I want a nation that takes care of its citizens and takes care of all humanity the same. It’s in our differences that we evolve and learn. It’s in diversities that we grow. We’ve lost the integrity of our initial foundation/principles that created this great country. What’s happening is sickening and psychotic.

I heard a woman speaking to another at a coffee shop recently say the most horrific things about immigrants. I waited to finish my coffee. I got up, turned to them, and voiced my hurt through tears. I asked them if they had kids or grandkids? And then I wished them a safe life. Before either could speak I stood there in complete disbelief and let them know that I was Hispanic (which shocked them because I look like them) and that I loved them and hoped that they could see that we (Latinos) are like them. We love our kids. We love our families. And we love to believe that this nation is still one of freedom and dignity. It isn’t a political problem. I told them it was a racist and hate one. It was a moral issue. I didn’t expect a conversation. I went to the car shaking in anger.

No one is exempt from discrimination and hate. I, however, believe that in order for change we cannot move through it with more anger and hate. We must look at the indifferences and educate through love. We must show the world that we will fix this issue through compassion, righteousness, and tenacity. And we will win until another issue arises. Where there is light there will always be darkness trying to destroy it. Just don’t let that darkness destroy your faith. There are many things that will be coming to light. We must stand firm in our convictions. We must dig deep into our hearts and show others what that looks like.

Rant over!!

Question what you read, watch, hear and see. Don’t assume anything! There are a lot of things happening that need your attention. Open your hearts wider than your mouths. Thank you. I love you.

Love Trumps Hate


I am a Hispanic woman. I am a chameleon because depending on what group of people I am with I am mistaken as an Italian, Canadian, Jewish, Cuban and French. I’ve heard all sorts of labels. Most people can’t guess I am Puerto Rican. 
Discrimination isn’t about race. It’s about so many other things. We are hated for being too fat, too loud, too this and too that. Right now it’s about the color of our skin and cultural differences. 

Growing up in a mostly white neighborhood I experienced racism but I learned something early on. I was determined to find humor in all the things around me. I made friends with all cultures and races. Every so often I would get hated on…and my love gene would win them over. Or they would stay away because they thought I was crazy. 

I have experienced prejudice. I have experienced judgment, not because of cultural differences but because I AM different. 

I cannot relate to racism and bigotry but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It is here, clearly alive and burning up. It’s been here all along boiling, waiting for a catalyst to set it free. 

I will not blame any one person for this. From the beginning of time we have had good and evil. But, darlings, guess what? We have choices. Instead of feeding the hate with more hatred, disgust, egotism and judgment we have the opportunity to rise through love. 

Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know you think this is juvenile. I am not saying it’s easy. There will always be fear that lives in the outer web of humanity. Anything that’s different will always cause tremendous ripples of bullshit. But, I promise you that by shifting from anger and animosity to the frequency of forgiveness and love we can begin to change. 

Our experiences mold us. They are the starting point of perspective. I choose to fight racism with love. Not by constantly pointing out the negativity but by raising my capacity of sending even more love into the world. I am bombarding the cosmic highway with some outrageous amount of heart and forgiveness. 

This doesn’t negate the utter sadness that is living in my heart. Humanity tends to break me in the darkest corners of my spirit. But, I am an eternal romantic. I believe in our spiritual evolution that is moved through love. Love trumps hate anytime. Every single freaking time. Regardless of all those who try to diminish its power. 

It starts and ends with love. Always. Forever. And ever. 

I love you…and I don’t care about your skin color. I care about how you treat others. Rise to love!  

🦄❤️Millie.

The Ugliness of Racism

unity

Yesterday evening I was at a store with my husband and our little girl. While he was trying on pants I took Kali in the cart through the shoe section. Kali is half Romanian and half Black. She looks like a miniature version of Halley Berry. She is super friendly, always talking to everyone that passes by. My husband says she’s like me but I think she takes the word “friendly” to a whole new level.

A little girl around 5 years old was in an aisle. Kali immediately said hello and started chatting away with her. She reached out to touch her. The little girl was white with blonde hair and blue eyes. The child left me speechless with her words, “Don’t you dare touch me with that skin! Don’t talk to me. You are gross!”

I stood there looking at the hatred from this child. The parents were in the other aisle. I immediately turned the cart around and felt such anger and sadness. I felt the jabs and stabs of unbelievable prejudice, shame and judgment. Who could teach a little girl to hate like that? Kali, of course, had no idea of what had happened. She continued waving and speaking to everyone in the store. I, on the other hand, held my tears through deep breathing while trying to send forgiveness to her little soul.

Here’s the thing: hate is not a gene we are born with. Love is. Hate is learned, manipulated, brewed and used out of fear. I live in the South. North Carolina has progressed tremendously, but I also know that some of these back roads aren’t friendly for someone like Kali…or me. I don’t look Hispanic, until I open my mouth and a word, here and there, will slip with a deep accent. I am proud of my heritage, as I am also proud of all my children and their backgrounds. My husband is as Irish white as they come. I’ve never taught my children skin color, racism, or hatred. I don’t know how anyone could involve a child in such backward thinking and disgusting behavior. Discrimination is something I judge with every cell in my body…so that doesn’t make me a very loving person.  I have tolerance for a lot of things but when it comes to humanitarian division it all disappears.

I hated myself the rest of the night for not standing there and saying something to that little girl on behalf of Kali. But, I also saw her parents. I felt their oppression. Who am I to fix something that is so deeply ingrained in the middle of a store? And worse of all…had my husband, who tolerates zero crap of that behavior, would have come out in that moment all hell would have broken loose. So hatred would have conquered and love would have been thrown out the door. Let’s face it, we don’t remember the acts of kindness when hatred is that strong. I did smile at that little girl and shook my head in disbelief. But that wasn’t enough. In my fantasy world I would have taken her hand and gently pressed it on Kali so she could witness that she was warm and loving like her and the skin color wasn’t going to rub off on her. I would have spoken with sweet words about their beauty as they both had exactly the same hair style except in different colors.

Yes, I live in a fairy world at times. I think everyone thinks like I do about love, acceptance, compassion, empathy and forgiveness. But, this world is far from being a loving one. I worry about how Kali will have to battle her way through life in many instances. Then I think about the times I had to do it while I was young, living in an all-white neighborhood, and I was the only Hispanic around. I was the different one. I was accepted because I always molded to my surroundings and once they got to know me they realized I wasn’t a threat. I was just a little girl with a different voice. The rest of me fit in perfectly.

Our behaviors, as parents and teachers, determine the future of our world…and our existence. We cannot change hate and fear with immediate love. It requires more than that. Compassion is a start but wars aren’t won on compassion and kindness. This human race is divided through politics, religion, indifference and manipulation. The moment we begin to treat one another as divinity the hatred may crumble and we will be left with what was intended: unity for all.  But, how do we start and where do we begin?  How do we fix what seems to be so broken?  How can we become one race…the human race?  How can we begin the process of humanitarian freedom that will allow for true love?

May you have a blessed day…wherever you are and whoever you are. I don’t see color, race or gender. I see souls, but I witnessed something in that little girl that scared me intensely. I witnessed a new generation of anger and intolerance without remorse. It’s up to us to send loving vibes and prayers through conscious shifting into the masses. This world really needs it!  And a shift in thought and perception may be the start of something new.