A coworker was sharing a story about someone. Another coworker said that it was “integrity for purchase.” This meaning that the person had integrity only when it was monetarily convenient to her.
I had one of those Aha Moments. Integrity for purchase isn’t just based on monetary or materialistic issues. Some folks just acquire integrity based on their needs. But, at the end of the day they are still lacking character, authenticity, principle and honor. They lack value and falsify it by acquiring what they need from others in a sneaky way.
These are narcissists, ego maniacs and highly selfish people. They can manipulate others for their needs. And those folks who are kind can often times find themselves in a horrible web of hurt and despair because of their behaviors.
It’s sickening. It’s destructive. It’s inhumane.
Integrity is a huge one for me. I observe folks by their actions and not by what they say. They can write lovely things and behave egotistically. They can look at you straight in the eyes and believe their own lies.
As I continue walking into a deepened spiritual journey I am always questioning my own integrity. I question my own egotism. And I hope I continue to question it because it keeps me in check.
I also tend to beat myself up for wrong-doings…. For cheating on my soul because I wanted something so badly and I knew (instinctively) that it wasn’t for me. This also keeps me grounded in checking my integrity. I am imperfect and do fall for those who promise what they will never give. They are amazing salesmen.
Darlings, please recognize the toxic energy associated with these types of personas. They are sick individuals who thrive on the kindness and compassion of higher frequencies. They believe they can get a great deal for what you easily project. Remember that your integrity is not for sale!
Running is my default when things get hard and heavy. I automatically go into that mode and have to talk myself out of it. It’s exhausting! And at mid-century of a timeline I am getting better at breathing through it. I am better at stepping back and not reacting immediately. I have come a long way…but the programming is still there and it takes a while to readjust my thinking.
Running away is easier. It releases me of responsibility of dealing with whatever the obstacle or challenge. Running comes with a romantic fantasy that wherever I end up won’t be where I am.
This is all bullshit but it’s still my default programming. It’s still the first thought that appears when shit hits the fan. It’s my immediate flight response. I don’t fight. I just go around the issue and truly hope I drown it in fairy dust. Usually when I step away it resolves itself, or I happen to let it go so long that the universe aligns with my desires.
So…I stay put. I breathe through the challenges. I step away from the ego chit chat and face the discomfort. I disconnect from that particular moment and define what’s important. I begin to take accountability through gratitude. And I enter my spiritual practice for however long it takes to readjust my compass. I basically put myself in Time Out!
Running might be part of my DNA but I can overcome it. My father ran from every responsibility. In his absence I’ve learned to detect, accept and reject whatever is causing me turmoil.
The worst scenario for a runner is the feeling of stagnation and feeling stuck. It’s a slow death. A shift in perception and a deep spiritual practice have been my saving grace.
What do you overcome?
How do you shift your default programming?
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed?
I’m on day five of a cleanse and detox. My body is feeling the withdrawals big time. Last night the headaches were intense. I am reminded of this beautiful machine I get to inhabit and call home.
The soul can heal and so can the body. We consist of mind, body and spirit. The last few years I’ve not been kind to the body part. I’ve worked extensively on the other two. Now it’s time to align all three. But, boy oh boy, this shit isn’t for sissies!
Ugh the patience I must retrieve just to be with me during this time. I have patience for most things but little bits for me.
I am always witnessing the ego’s chit chat. I could not sit for meditation this morning because I was in discomfort. I recognize how detoxing the body affects all areas of my ability to be present. It’s hard to hear noises. It’s difficult to be a loving cheerleader when the body feels depleted. It’s hard to stay focus on any one thing.
I know in a few days and weeks I will feel like a new person. But enduring this right now is not fun. I love how this brings up crap and I am able to detox the thoughts as well.
So I return to the sacred art of mindfulness today. I am being gentle with me. In doing so I will be going into a gentle flow yoga class and see what comes up.
All the plans I had for today have been changed. And for the next twelve hours or so it’s about nurturing my soul and body in the kindest and most loving manner.
Be kind to all parts of you. Be gentle when you feel rushed. Be loving when you feel anger. Be present when you just want to flee. It’s in these moments that we return to the simplicity of our calling and purpose here. It’s in the discomfort that we find our truth.
Love to all!
For several years, this page has evolved from a Mystical Journey into a Sacred Journey. It was a forum to share my blog and stories from all walks of life. In the last year the page has become more of an inspirational page to help raise the vibrations of social media and negativity. Along my own personal journey I have evolved as well. I have received clarity in what I am suppose to be sharing and writing. Recently, I opened up a business under “Sacred Journey” where I can do intuitive counseling and help others in their journey.
But I am also a Story Tender.
What’s a Story Tender you might be wondering?
It’s sharing sacred space with someone as they share their stories. Those who are stuck and need a little nudge, I can help light the way. I take their stories, old programming and beliefs, and help them reorganize their thoughts. I help facilitate the doubts, hurt, and other traumas while turning them into empowering opportunities. Basically, I am a love cheerleader helping others navigate through the muck into their own inner beauty and strength. Just like the lotus flower, we all have the willingness and determination to be the best version of ourselves while birthing in the darkest of moments.
Sometimes we just need a little help. We need to connect with another and recognize that we are not alone on this journey. That’s the sacred journey for me…to be available to meet others wherever they are at.
Currently I have a web designer working on my professional website to offer services, retreats, workshops and one-on-one sessions. I’m excited for what’s coming up and the endless possibilities of meeting amazing souls.
Thank you for sticking with me as I, too, emerge into my authentic self… filled through love and grace. The collective is shifting and we need all the help we can get at this time. We are one. Mucho love!!!
Millie A. Parmer
Spring is here…allow for the rebirth of creation.
Spring is re-birthing! I am so happy. I believe in the cosmic changes that are happening behind our emotions. I believe mostly in my feelings and how my “knowing” had been clouded for some time. One minute I am elated. The next one I am curled up sobbing. It’s like cosmic-alternative-schizoaffective disorder.
I see change happening quickly. I see my life transforming towards a way I never thought it would just a year ago. We all live by our choices. The way we become truthful to our desires is the way we expand and evolve. But, this is the time to get with your truth.
And this place in time…right now…is all about truth. It’s about coming into your knowing and acceptance. It’s about embracing your authenticity. No more putting yourself on hold in order to make others happy. You need to be in your true essence and it will flow onto everyone else.
Sometimes we get stagnant and stuck because we are afraid of what others think. At other times we must retrieve and feel the changes, ask for guidance and then proceed with what is best for us. It’s when we don’t follow anything and we just keep wishing, without action, that we do ourselves a huge injustice.
Choices change our lives profoundly. Every decision we make is a ripple that leads to a path in life. We make choices to mend broken hearts, move, restart and reinvent ourselves, relationships, change of careers, and many other assignments that provide for our journey. I have trusted God/Divine Guidance to lead. I have stopped when I have seen signs ahead. It’s not always been this way. I know now when the little voice whispers to listen. Whenever I ignore it I get sick (that’s my body telling me I need to listen to guidance). I am reminded that I have all the answers within me but I must trust. I must be guided by faith but also do my part to make things happen. It’s unfair to my higher self to just ask and not put effort into action. And, it’s a tremendous unrealistic expectation that will never be met.
Each one of us have different dreams. We have millions of stories that may run parallel to one another but no one can choose for you to be happy. You must find that within yourself. Just like spring, there is a rebirth waiting for us. It’s time to create a new story or just write a new chapter to the old one. Make out your lists, your wishes and allow the cosmos, and whatever else you call upon, to help you manifest those things that will bring you joy again. Allow for rebirth of creation! You got this!