Tag: release

Release it to the Cosmos

On By Moments with MillieIn EssayLeave a comment

(Google image since I could not take a picture of the man.)

This morning on my way to take the kids to camp, I watched a young man, half-naked, on the side of the interstate yelling at the trees and sky. It was right before 7AM. My windows were down and as I passed him I heard, “F*cK You!” as his fists were pointing upward.

I had this sensation of stopping, but I had the kids. And I am not part of this man’s story. A piece of me marveled at the ability to shout out to the Heavens, that raw vulnerability (even if he was strung out on something) to say exactly what he was feeling.

Most of us don’t.

We bury the pain or the anger. We bulldoze over it. We expect things will change and get angry when they don’t. We demand, beg, plead and complain about it.

Whenever I’ve had enough, I climb the tallest mountain around here early enough not to bump into anyone. When I get to the top, I sit on the largest boulder. The cows on that field surround me. Then I yell to the top of my lungs. I don’t stop till I feel the energy move through me. I sit for a bit. I may cry. I may write. I may just close my eyes and allow the sensations of nature embody me. I become still, smelling the earth, tasting the wind, hearing my heart beat.

I watched this man today and recognized it is time for another trip up the mountain. Those releases are powerful. I had a special pillow for one of my children when she was small so that she could hit it and yell. It was just a way for her to stabilize her little emotional body. Sometimes it was exactly what she needed. Other times it made it worst. We always found a happy medium.

This man needed this today. He had enough (or not enough). Who knows!

Today, allow yourself to feel what needs to move through you. Lock yourself in the car and yell. Scream in a pillow. Allow the energy to move through you and don’t filter it, avoid it, or reject it. Our bodies are transitioning with all the collective madness. If you can’t give yourself permission to let it out, your physical body begins to absorb it all in toxic ways. Self-care is also about releasing the things that haunt you.

I love you! Go love yourself as well!

Millie

The Secrets Kept

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My 4-year-old woke extra early this morning. He turned over, grabbed my face with both his hands, put his forehead against mine and whispered, “Mommy, I cannot tell you all my secrets. Maybe someday!”
I said, “Okay. Whenever you are ready.” I brought him closer to me.

What secrets can he possible have, or dreamt about?
 
Several years ago, I remember reading an article about a study on secrets. They found that most people had an average of 13 secrets, 5 which they never shared with anyone. That’s a lot of shame and guilt being held inside!

“When the participants were asked if they were keeping secrets related to any of these categories, they found that the average person was currently keeping 13 of the 38 secrets – five of which they have never told anyone about.”
You can read a similar article here: https://www.sciencealert.com/science-predicts-you-re-hiding-13-secrets-and-half-of-those-you-ve-never-told-a-soul
 
The thing is that sharing a secret with another can be risky. The possibility of betrayal and/or judgment are always a gamble. Nothing can distance us from ourselves as the secrets we hold. And nothing can break us more than the betrayal of someone you trusted with them.

I remember when I read that article and I started to ponder on the things I haven’t shared with anyone. I couldn’t count them. The moment I started I got panicky. Those things that have been stored inside due to shame, oppression, guilt, self-worth and humiliation are inside locked away. I always forget the ones that people share with me. I am talking about my own.

I have trusted folks with intimate details of my life. In those moments it has felt deliciously freeing. The thing is that there is a fear of those things coming out into the open through them sharing with others. I trust… pretty much most people. I have had intimate relationships with lovers (and spouses) and have watched myself in what I share. Too many times, it has come back to bite me and left massive scars.

The betrayal I felt in my last relationship has closed me up and is teaching me to use my discernment wisely. Trust is something I am learning again in my life. I am opening up the doors to the closet and releasing old wounds, shame and triggers. I have felt exposed and vulnerable. I have done it through self-love. When you trust another, you give away your insecurities. When that person utilizes your vulnerability and confidence, wow! it can be heartbreaking.

So, when my little boy declared that he couldn’t tell me all his secrets, I completely understood. God only knows what he experienced in his night travels.

We become the secrets that we keep. Due to a brain injury years ago, I don’t remember much of anything that shames me from younger years. The newer things, well, I have worked on letting them go and not necessarily by sharing with another. I believe that’s why therapist have been ever present in my life. There is a confidentiality agreement and clause. That kind of feels safer!

I am sweetly amazed at the things that come up in my sessions with clients. The old crud that has been lingering inside them, eating at their hearts. When it comes up and out, I see a massive soul retrieval and balance. There is a space between the secret and release that is energetically palpable and beautiful to witness.

You do not have to share every intimate experience or situation in your life with others. But what you could do is write them down, burn them, and let go of the shame. Every single experience you have ever had has brought you to this very moment in your life. Every event has molded you into the person that you are right now. We grow from everything.

There is another side to secrets. When you discover that a person you trust is not the person you thought they were, that is also heartbreaking. There are good people in this world who have had shitty things happen. And there are people who aren’t so good, and keep really immoral shit covered up. You get to decide what you tolerate in another. Who truly ever knows anyone completely?

I love you. You aren’t alone on this journey. Share, or not share, it’s up to you. But please be kind with the things you have inside that steal your joy.

Always…
Millie

For more blogs you can visit my professional page and sign up to receive new articles to your email: www.sacredjourneyinward.com/blog

The Release

On By Moments with MillieIn EssayLeave a comment

release woman

A few months ago I met a woman in a store in Downtown Asheville. She walked passed me and I gasped at her angelic beauty. I introduced myself and we began a sweet friendship that has evolved into a magical connection.

She’s a healer. A massage therapist and Reiki practitioner (among other things).  I saw on Facebook that she was sharing a special Heart Chakra Therapy/Massage for the month of February. I made an appointment with her for last Tuesday.

Kelie is fabulous. Her energy is soothing and loving. I can always use a little healing and energy to the heart department. But, what I didn’t expect was the intense opening after I left her place. I expected a little relaxation, perhaps a few tears, but never the deep conscious awareness of a massive shift.

Tenderness and intuition are a marriage of astronomical proportions. I give a lot of me to others. I am well aware of how I spend my days sending love. I also keep a lot to myself, especially old wounds. I think I release them but when I get a healing treatment like this it comes up and I am well aware that our cellular memories run profound.

They get stuck and create new spaces in our physical bodies. The emotional body gets jacked up. The spiritual body feels stumped. The misalignment is sometimes subtle but sometimes it manifests in severe diseases and ailments.

I spent Tuesday night sobbing, curled up in fetal position throughout the night. I was visited by guidance. I cut energetic cords of things that no longer serve me. There were moments of lucid dreaming, returning to the past, unraveling conversations that have created themselves into unnecessary experiences.

What was I creating with these stories through lack of self-worth?

I am always fascinated by how touch heals us. A massage, a few crystal stones, aromatherapy and tenderness can catapult a release that has been stored away in a small Pandora’s box. The moment it opens up it sure feels like all hell breaks loose.

We are always one decision away from healing and releasing. I know I must process things first. I tend to hold on to things and forget that I have them there. Every so often they sneak out with a song, a conversation, and the memory transports me back to the past. Then I rethink, re-shift, and readjust my sails. What I forget to do is truly release and let go of them completely.

I get help. I go to someone else who isn’t part of my stories. I’m amazed how the Universe aligns those sweet healers in my path. And then…bang…it happens and I am recreated into a beautiful newness of trust and light.

This is also the work I am creating with clients. Story tending and sharing helps grab those old experiences in order to release. We create magic together. I love being the student witnessing the journey.

It’s truly sacred and full of love. For everyone involved.

I love you!

I urge you to check out Kelie’s website: https://www.rubyrosesanctuary.net/

 

 

 

Your Inner Child

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These showed up again in FB a few days ago as TBT. That little girl had such an innocent view of the world. She believed in the moments when love held her hand. She believed she would have many children. At that age I said I would have 10 kids. I drove my mother crazy when I saw a baby in a store. She believed in happy endings. She believed that she could shift a person’s mood by just holding their hand. I look at these pictures and feel my way back there. They were only a year apart. But that one year left me empty. My father left the day before Christmas and never came back. He went to get cigs and disappeared. The little girl with short hair was the cause of chopping my pretty hair off because he loved it so much. I cut it off myself and then had to get it fixed.

It took a long while to return to the heart of the little girl with the long hair.

Your inner child is always there. He or she sits waiting to be acknowledged. Make sure you take time to play. Forgive the past for not being able to know what you know now. Also forgive all those who hurt you.

Return to love. Return to who you were before the world turned you into someone else. You deserve love and peace…then and now.

Happy New Beginnings

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I’ve sat and lounged more than enough this last holiday. It was yummy to be among family. It was by far one of the easiest and loving holidays ever.

What changed?

Me.

I allowed for it to come and go while being present. Even with severe allergies I allowed for the moments to come and go. I let go of the sorrow that comes with those days of celebration. I became aware of where the grief revisited and I addressed it like never before.

It felt like sacredness and a preview of what’s coming this new year. It feels like how I will allow the new beginnings.

The need to push isn’t here. The desire to create always is. But, I create and manifest by feeling through the desires without control. Just knowing I’m always aligning to my highest calling. This is a powerful acceptance!

That was the biggest lesson in 2018.

I am so happy to enter a new year with deeper awareness than last one. I’m in no rush to see what’s coming. For now I am chillaxing and allowing the universal forces to drive.

Wishing you a magical new everything. Be in it without pushing anything. And, darling, put the love for you first and foremost. Once you do everything and everyone around you starts to feel that vibration.

I love you. You. You. You.

Shaken Up

On By Moments with MillieIn Essay4 Comments

We are being shaken up to wake in truth. The shift is happening in a large scale. We are women, mothers, sisters, daughters and friends. We are the divine feminine rising in masses. Stay in love and do not allow fear to consume you. This is happening on a massive collective soul level. Together we can heal and help the world heal. When one voice is heard it echoes across the world. So imagine what millions of beautiful voices speaking their truth can do to release old wounds? Regardless of these outcomes we can continue to show the world that truth prevails. And more than anything the light we continue to carry towards one another transcends this moment. We are making history every single second. This is one of the most powerful times ever. And we are witnessing our strength in numbers. I am healing my own traumas and deep treacherous memories. So thank you. Thank you to all the women (and men) for opening up and sharing their own stories of horrific assaults and events. I stand in awed of the magic we are creating. I love you.

Be Brave

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We tell others to be brave as if it was a choice. But, bravery is a commitment between your spirit and the heart to keep going. It’s a relationship that requires acceptance while releasing any sense of victimization or blame. 

So, next time you whisper to someone, “You are brave! I love your courage! I admire your strength.” Feel it in the core of your own existence. Courage comes from falling while not allowing yourself to permanently stay there. 

This life requires you to be courageous and vulnerable and compassionate. It requires you to clean the nastiness when you fall and get hurt while still move through love. Yes…love unconditionally especially yourself. Be brave and be daring. That’s where the magic is created.

Today

On By Moments with MillieIn Poetry9 Comments

holding love

Today
I woke to loving me.
I found me aching to unknown feelings.
My chest felt tight.
I had a difficult time breathing.
And my inner voice whispered kindly,
“It’s time. Love yourself for once.
This is not about anyone else.”

I relaxed. I let go. I released.
In the process I felt the light
beaming from the heavens
activating the cells in my body
to care and love and give to me.

We are here for love.
Yes..to love others.
Yes…to learn from the world.
But…mostly to return to Source
through our own acceptance and awareness

that we are the love we are constantly chasing in others.

Today…
I love me.
Tomorrow…
I will continue this love
for as long as my soul has existence.

We need to move into light…

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moving-light

It is such a privilege to share on social media. I have met amazing folks, like-minded-spiritual individuals, who have raised me to all sorts of goodies in optimism. I continue to have a love-hate relationship with Facebook due to the constant flow of negativity. I am not on Instagram or other forms of media. I have had people enter my life through my blog and The Master Shift site while making this journey a more delicious one. I am blessed beyond words for these people who have shared their lives and continue to inspire me. I thank you for that. But, apparently I am not a good judge of character. I see the world with rainbow-colored lenses. I give everyone a chance and the benefit of the doubt. I welcome the world with open arms as if saying, “Here, sit down, let’s become friends…let’s just fall in love with one another! I want to hear all about you right now in this moment.” I have added people in my friends’ list that should not be there: negative, gossipy, sexual predators and other low-energy individuals. I have deleted some folks because my frequency is definitely not aligning with theirs and vice versa.

Last year at this time I went through a huge awareness of who I wanted in my life. It was the first time in all the years that I was on social media that Spirit nudged with an urgency to clean up the list (to clean up all that does not have my best intentions at heart). It was hard to delete. There were some important characters who had taught me about my value (and the lack of). It was crucial to set folks lose. If I’ve done it in my personal life with loved ones, while setting healthy boundaries, then I also had to do it on social media.

This is the heartache of putting ourselves out there, sharing with all. This is the paradox of writing from the heart and wanting to keep it all inside. Vulnerability can be the rawest form of shame and disrespect if it’s not used in a loving fashion. And, I try to find a balance with what I can and should not put out for the world to witness. 

I also thought that if these folks really wanted to read my writings they could go to my several pages on FB and this blog. My personal page is for those who are in my frequency: the dreamers, the lovers, the mystical mischief, the ones searching for answers and expressing their words (cause let’s face it…I am a lover of words and emotions). These are the folks that share and cheer one another. These are the friends who partake in the most ridiculous of humor and also in the serious moments when vulnerability has spilled out of one another. You all rock! We are here to inspire one another. We are here to pull each others’ hairs back when we have to vomit emotions and heartache, when the world is beating us down and when too much becomes insufferable.

My blogging experience began five years ago. I have met some incredibly delightful people who have become family. I have also encountered my share of not-so-nice folks who I have accepted and let go of. I learn more from those people than they can imagine. But, I am in a point in my life that I will not entertain anything or anyone but loving souls. I am fortunate to really attract love…and I don’t see those few folks as anything but magnificent teachers. I have learned boundaries in the most mystical ways in the past few years. I have no problem deleting crap out of my life. 

2016 has been one of the the most extraordinary teaching years in my life. It has been a year of complete transformation and metamorphosis. I have witnessed my strengths, weaknesses, and the fracturing of my heart to then see the light breaking through. I have deleted old belief systems, taken full responsibility for my drama, and experienced an openness with Divinity that I cannot verbally express. I thought 2015 had taught me a lot about friendships and love…but no way. This year has pushed the envelope. I think one of the words that kept coming up this year was “integrity.” I have learned it via different forms. It has clearly been a magnificent year turning all the “I cannot’s” into freaking “I can’s.”

There are no words! I cannot imagine another time like this one. It has also been a year of blessings, including the finalization of adoption for our little girl (which took 2-1/2 years from the moment we got her until she became legally ours). I have seen some incredible and wondrous things this year…and usually alone in the middle of the night staring at the sky while the world is asleep.

I am embracing 2017 with such openness and giddiness. I am manifesting some huge changes in my professional life. I am shifting the mentality from “shit, another freaking year” to “this is the year of abundance and delicious blessings.” I have been standing on the edge of creation for several months whispering into the unknown and it’s finally time to go after all that I desire.

I have decided that this is how I want my social media pages to be: lifting me up while sharing love and light. I am not here to belittle anyone. This is my blog and not one person is required to read my words. No one has to stay here. I only want the souls who can understand that we carry each other home, lifting the heartache and the joyous times to a different level. I try to be as optimistic as possible. I always give from my heart even when I am having a shitty day. But, I am still very much a person with ego and insecurities. I am still learning to release all the baggage. I am definitely not a complete spiritual sage and never ever pretended to be. I don’t know much but I know how to love. People will troll others and there will always be negativity. I am careful not to hurt others…and have truly learned to shield myself from the best facades out there.

We still have work to do in this world. We still need to raise frequencies and vibration into a state of oneness and love. The hippie in me acknowledges the hippie in you and when we meet it’s always like coming home. We are required to be the best spiritual warriors next year. There is massive changes ahead full of abundance in all levels. But, we must shed the crap of attachments and negativity. That will not do in the next coming months. We are required to release fear and accept diversities and differences.

I believe we create our journeys and our yummy futures. We either stay in a toxic cycle or we get out. We either continue repeating the same things over and over with the desire of a different result, or completely change everything in the way. If it’s not working…it needs to stop! It’s that easy. I refuse to have people in my life that do not have my best intention in their hearts. It’s that simple. Like I said, it’s a privilege to be in each others’ lives. It’s magical. It’s fun. It’s a chord of truth, lessons, and authentic power that pulls and pushes us when we need someone to get us out of our dark moments. So many things always happen behind the scenes and this medium of communication can be used to lift and help many.

I am putting it out into the universe that 2017 will bring even more angels into my life. I am seeing them arriving daily. I am placing the intention that I will get to write their stories so we can learn from one another. It’s imperative. We need a massive conscious shift. I have been way too airy fairy in allowing people who don’t deserve to be in my stories. But, at the same time I am grateful for those lessons. I now know who has my back and who absolutely just doesn’t deserve my attention. And, may you also distinguish these things in your own personal life.

To you all…I love you. May the next year bring you all that you deserve. Stand firm in your convictions. Stand tall in your truth. You owe no one an explanation who only cares to gossip and make you seem like the antagonist in their stories. Let’s continue to move into light. You got this. We all got this!