Letting Go of the Old

Oh darlings! People can only meet you at the level of their awareness and perception. It goes for everything: religion, politics, love…whatever. You cannot impose your beliefs onto anyone. If they’ve never experienced what you have experienced they may not understand empathy. If they’ve never walked through your fires they cannot understand the scars and burns from the struggles.

It’s okay. I promise. You don’t have to force anything on them. The beauty of this life is that we choose to learn from diversities…or not at all.

But, you can always always always stay in a higher vibration. You don’t have to point out flaws or insult to make a point. You don’t have to degrade or run someone’s name through the dirt. You go on. Ego is a nasty bitch with hidden agendas.

I’ve learned that those who care will see your character by how you respond or react to any given event and situation. By reacting to something that you don’t agree on you are showing exactly what they want you to show…your ass in the most unflattering of lights.

A disgruntled person will go through every possible avenue to prove their ego’s righteousness. That’s what the “personality” always wants. It wants to be acknowledged and cheered on.

Let it go. Send love to those who hurt you. You have got to move on or the drama will continue to show up.

Love. Love yourself enough to move past the hurt and allow others to keep going. Fill your light with integrity and humility. It’s lovely.

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For the Love of Community

A few years ago I made a promise to myself that I would only allow those individuals who contributed to the best of my life. I was done with all the crap of people who were emotional vampires. I wanted a community, a family of friends, who were there for me regardless of the weather (in good and bad times). I wanted people who allowed me to be me without judgment and likewise I would relish in their uniqueness. The Divine provided much more than I had intended because I have wonderful people in my life.

When we realize the old patterns in our life, the way we choose situations, and accept (with full blown responsibility) that we attract those people who hurt us because we participated in the drama, then the Universe moves on to what the heart truly needs. I’ve changed and with those modifications I have allowed like-minded people to enter my circle. These are giving individuals who truly care about friendship. I am blessed. And I don’t take it for granted.

If you have people in your life (whether it be a mate or friends) who don’t bring out the best in you, take a look at your behavior. Take note of your actions, how you treat others, and seriously decide if they are projecting your individuality. The root of criticism in others is usually the reflection in ourselves. We attract that which we put out. You don’t want drama, look to see if your life is a one-stage act after another full of chaos. You don’t want selfishness then see if you are reflecting things that are being only about you. You don’t want craziness, well then I suggest you start to define what normal is for you! You get to manifest the things and people in your life. You get to create what stays and what needs to go.

Life is marvelous. It is too short to allow others to dictate misery in your life. Fill those special moments in your life surrounded by things and people that matter. Setting boundaries is hard, at least for me. Those vampires from my past disappeared as soon as I decided that I was worth loving in a manner that allowed the best of me to shine. These people know my laughter, sorrows, sarcasm, goofiness, bitchiness, kindness, creativity, love and the things that create the totality of me. They are there when I need a shoulder to cry on and a wine glass when I need to unload my craziness.

We’ve lost the sense of unity and community in our lives. Society has become so busy that we forget to get together for a simple meal, or just a cup of coffee. I love how the Italians and the French in Europe live their lives. They work hard but they also know when to quit and gather around their loved ones to enjoy the simplicity in sharing their lives. There is an easement and therapeutic element to sitting with others while allowing laughter, tears, and expression as the only agenda.

Seek and you will find. Put yourself out there. Talk to strangers. Participate in your community. I promise you that you weren’t meant to be alone. You have the ability to design the life you dream of….so go and get it done.

The Sacredness of Holding Space

hold space

When my mother was dying she came to visit for a few weeks. She lived with my sisters in South Florida and I lived in Orlando. My mother’s health had deteriorated significantly in a matter of six months. Cancer was eating at her through every cell and pore of her existence. It (the cancer) became the focus of everything. She was waiting on death to finally take her. She had stopped taking her medicine and refused to eat. I began to see my mother as a little girl needing the support of others. It was in those final hours leading to her death that I learned what it was to hold space for another. It was then that I realized the frailty of life and all we take for granted.

Holding space for someone who is sick or dying is about walking along their side without judgment, not making them feel inadequate and allowing their essence to feel free to just be. My mother taught me many things about our relationship those last few weeks of her life. I had to offer unconditional support with patience and a sacredness that didn’t come easy at times. I had to step back and remember integrity and dignity of a dying person. We only want to be heard…to the last dying breath. Her need to always control all situations had diminished. What was left in its place was humility and the acceptance that she was frail and vulnerable. She was afraid. She was resentful at times. But, most of all she wanted to feel loved no matter how hard she pushed.

There are times we find that holding space is truly the only thing we can do for another. This time was about allowing her to just be ever present without trying to fix anything. I was reminded recently of these memories when I visited one of my clients at a facility. Now under hospice care, she just needed to have me there even while not knowing who I am. She just needed me to hold her hand and touch her. My mother craved for this caress in the end of her life, but her pain from cancer was unbearable. She would reach out in the silence of the room to just acknowledge her presence. With each hand touched it was as if she was saying, “Sweetheart, I am still here. Do you see me? Do you feel me? Don’t forget me!”

The act of holding sacred space is important in all relationships. Children need this time to know they are being loved and cared for unconditional. Lovers require this cherished time to show their union. Even pets provide the perfect cues for this sacredness. We are in need of these sanctified moments that express in silence to another, “I am here for you. There is nothing to do. I see you. I feel you. I acknowledge your life.”

You matter. He matters. She matters. Our presence is all that connects us to God. Holding space is about being present without distractions and allowing another to feel Divinity through the eyes of your love.

Hands of God

hands of god

Our egos do not allow us to live to our potentials.  I once had a friend who had a brain aneurism.  He basically had to restart normal living habits, from buttoning his shirt to tying his shoes.  A highly intelligent man, but because of living so much in his head, never got the lesson of this spectacular recovery.  What happened to him was massive.  It was a huge wake up call.  Instead of embracing the experience and realizing that he had been touched by the hands of God he grew angrier, bitter, and resentful.   He fell into a tunnel of self-pity and has remained there for a few years.

The spiritual journey that had begun the moment his vein burst was diminished to ego.  Eventually our friendship dissolved.  I couldn’t go to the darkness with him.  I couldn’t reach the spiritual being, nor deal with the egotistical part of making sense of his injury in the way he wanted.  I cannot pity such an experience that opened up so much in this one soul.  He took the extraordinary and created it to become prison of his world.

I always believe that the lessons we come into this life to learn will continue to repeat themselves, each time with much more difficulties, until we embrace and surrender to their teachings.  It is then that we can move on to the next one.  This man has been one of the few people in my life that illuminated divinity when I was in his presence.  He never saw it.  He never accepted the journey as being a mystical awakening to his spirit.  Once again, egos have a way of degrading our spiritual lessons.

We live in three embodiments: mind, physical body, and spirit.  The ego takes hold of the physical body and mind, twisting and turning, until there is nothing left but insecurities, anger, unworthiness, and doubts.  Even through major life changes, horrific episodes rattling our beliefs, the ego still continues to dictate what is right and what is wrong.

I know I can’t separate my ego from my spirit at all times.  Ego is what drives us to over achieve, to move in our society, and to interact with ourselves.  But my only wish as I awake each morning is to have less ego and more spirit.  I want to be able to detach from the insecurities, the chit-chat mind set, the what-to-do’s and how-to-do-them agendas.  I want my beliefs to take a back seat to what is omnipotence.  I want to be able to stand in spirit and be cradled by the hands of God like we all deserve each moment.  This is not impossible.  It requires detaching and surrendering.  It requires traveling in this world without so much of a competitive desire.  It requires erasing judgment, self-criticism and any negativity that has been instilled into our DNA by others.

We are always being provided with divinity.  It lives in us.  We are made of spirit.  The other two bodies we house are the substantial necessity to create equilibrium.  We need the body and the mind.  We need all three.  It is when there is an imbalance (of which a lot of us have) that we cannot grasp the lessons and experiences in the meaning of our life path.

My goal today is to live in that simplicity of just being.  No agenda, no desires, and no need to do anything but be present and wait… for the hands of God to reach out and light my path.  When in darkness I just need to believe that my own light of divinity will guide me through the roughest parts.

The Deciding Factor

letting go

How do we let go? Some people believe that anchoring ourselves to something is of great courage, strength, and honor. These are signs and adjectives for letting go, not holding on. There are times when it takes an audacious spirit of bravery to realize that letting go is a means of survival. Letting go is not failure, on the contrary, it is the door to victory.

Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care about that thing, that person, that event, that circumstance, or whatever else has you imprisoned with hopelessness. Letting go means that those things served their purpose to teach, mold, embrace and give you a sense of freedom. Letting go is finally releasing that which caused major control in your life.
Yesterday I spent the day with my little cousins (ages 5 – 9). We were making fairy houses for our woods. Every so often I would hear one of them complain that “I can’t do this, or I can’t make that.” I finally expressed to them that “can’t” is not a nice word. “Can’t” stops you from moving forward. The word “can’t” should not be in their vocabulary. Every other time they said it they caught themselves (sometimes looking at me and putting their hands over their little mouths) and changed the word. They were letting go of an old behavior that stops them from trying, growing, and moving forward. Letting go applies to so much more than just breaking off from a life decision!
When it comes to letting go of people and relationships we truly hang on to the side of a cliff. We leave claw marks on the rocks. We walk a tightrope from one valley to another. It is amazing the things we do to force a circle into a small square. It’s fantastic to watch how liberating it is to finally let go of the control. The illusion of control diminishes our worth. Fear of change added to the idea of failure equals stagnation and heartbreak.
I woke this morning letting go. I opened my eyes and breathed in the humidity as the rain is being held by clouds. Nature has a way of dumping and never looking back. Once it releases it doesn’t think, “Oh, crap did I do that right? Should I had let go of that rain, that storm, that hurricane? Man, what will these humans think of me?” It is in our nature to do the same. All we had to do is face those things that no longer serve our spirit. The word “can’t” has no business being part of your language. Do it! Releasing those things that no longer serve you is the deciding factor.

“Come to the cliff, he said.
They said, we are afraid.
Come to the cliff, he said.
They came.
He pushed them.
And they flew.”