Monk

I knew a monk. An ex-monk. He was a father to one of my daughter’s friend. Before I knew he was a monk I thought he was a saint. His daughter (and mine) both have mental disabilities. Even though they were 14 years old at the time they acted like 8 year olds with no sense of stability or safety. And when they got together it was challenging but I wanted her to have the same experiences as her siblings.

We would alternate visits. And each time I met him I was immediately calmed and collected. He was a sanctuary just by standing in front of me.

One day I asked for the secret. I had 6 kids all under 16 years in one house. Four of them with special needs. So he shared that he had been a monk in South America for many years, way before meeting his wife. And apparently, from my observations, he was still very monk like. He never lost that.

“When you no longer label the problem or situation, it dissipates. It has no power over you.”

“Your awareness is your reality.”

“Do not focus on the negative because you will continue receiving more of it. Focus on this moment of gratitude….”

There were so many messages.

This was over 15 years ago. But lately I am remembering a lot of the small lessons he would share with me. At the time I truly didn’t quite grasp his wisdom. I was stricken by constant anxiety believing I would never be a good enough mother to my kids. I ran a business with my ex that was extremely stressful. And we had money, and lots and lots of worries about all we owned. The more we made the more we bought and then worked like animals to sustain it.

There was no peace. There was zero spiritual awareness of what was important. We were lost in the material world and its worth. My ex needed a lot. And my life was centered around the children and his high-maintenance attitude.

When the monk would visit to get his daughter, or I would get her from his house, I felt a common energy flow of pure peace. There was the complete essence of now. Even with how difficult his daughter was at times.

I needed it. I would try and buy it. I did it all in order to sustain it. I wanted that peace and I would read about it. Study it. And chased after it with a vengeance. I was determined to find it in every religion and doctrine. In theory I became an expert on philosophy and how to attain peace.

Ha ha ha. And I never found it in those movies or books or talks.

It isn’t until you lose all that you think (and believe) you need that inner peace is truly birthed. That was a powerful lesson years later for me. And the wisdom began to visit through the nothingness. It began to reshape my spirit. I had to stop labeling and analyzing every single thing in my life.

Logic went out the window. Mysticism began to lead. Oh…and the magic that appeared in believing and allowing!

Today I remembered the monk dressed in his Bermuda shorts and polo shirts always ready to be in complete sacred presence.

I aspire for more of that in my life…Pure mindfulness and presence with all beings who share space with me. I aspire to love and be a messenger of love whenever the opportunity arises.

We need more of that calmness and sacredness now in our lives. In our country. In our world.

Thank you for your presence here joining me daily through your words and wisdom. The amount of sages on my social media feeds are delicious. We are all aspiring for peace, love and the inner light of grace.

Monsters

Car conversation with a 4 year-old early in the morning…
Kali: do monsters have bellies?
Me: monsters don’t exist.
Kali: do they have eyes?
Me: they don’t exist so they don’t have anything.
Kali: do they have mouths?
Me: Kali, monsters aren’t real. It’s a made up thing for television and entertainment.
Kali: They do exist. Do they have necks?
Me: Monsters aren’t real.
Kali: YEESSSSS they are.
Me: In a philosophical way… yes. They are real. There are bad people out there. But they didn’t start bad. They started with love. They came into this world with light and someone blew it out.
Kali: Why people create monsters then?
Me: (sighing….and then a mini rant longer than I can remember) Baby girl, monsters do exist. I’m sorry. They exist in anger and hatred. They exist in mental disorders and they are there to corrupt our world. They are fabricated in religions and stories to fill doubt in others. They instill fear and oppression but it’s mostly there for a lot of growth and balance. Where there is light there is also darkness. So, they do exist in a metaphoric term but not in a way you are thinking of when you watch television. That’s also there to create anxiety and despair. We live in a society that uses control mechanism through fear based subjects…and “monsters” are one of those ways. They don’t have giant heads and distorted bodies.
She then asked about Kali the Destroyer. Her daddy told her about Kali, the Hindu Goddess, and how she has the same name. He went on to tell her about her history the other day. She recited bits and pieces of what daddy told her. I was surprised she got a lot of it spot on. She wanted to know if she was a monster since she’s depicted with her tongue sticking out at times. I answered to the best of my ability.
Kali: so you see, they do exist, Mama!  Do they have tongues? Not Kali…she’s not a monster, right? But the rest of the monsters, do they have tongues?
Me: ugggghhhhh… silence.

Love is the Answer

You can be spiritual and watch television, curse and get angry. You can be healthy and not weigh 100 lbs. You get to choose what you eat, drink and smoke. And you can actually be pretty divine. You can be centered/grounded and still be in chaos. You can love someone and not agree with them. You can be friendly and compassionate and not tolerate bullsh*t.

There are social classes because man has created them. If your religion teaches you hate…that’s not a religion…it’s a brainwashing cult hiding behind the word “religion.” Jesus, Buddha, and every spiritual leader/guru came into their incarnations to teach love, acceptance, forgiveness and compassion.

The day we stop labeling everything, and everyone, we will be vibrating at a higher level of consciousness. We have learned in this society to put things in to-do lists, organized files and boxes. But we are people. Not things. Not everything is as simple as black and white. There are variations of grays and so many hues of other colors.

You know what makes you special? Your ability to love and forgive. You know what makes you authentic? The desire to not put up with toxic things, places or people. It’s when you stand firm in your truth and knowing. Your convictions are character traits that are learned from others. But, what is ingrained in your DNA is love. I don’t care who you are. If you have deviated from love it is because of your experiences, upbringing, traumas and the folks you have around you.

Love is the answer. It is my religion…my truth…my spiritual belief. I might not always be in love with a situation but I do try to come to a resolution with it.

Do whatever makes YOU happy. You came into this world with a divine compass unique to you. Don’t try to “fit” in order to be liked. Life is too short. Giddy on up and love till you burst into stardust again! You are a miracle. Don’t forget this. ~m.a.p.

Curious Observation

Curious observation into how opposites attract:

If you were to look into my friend list and FB feeder you would find spiritual stuff, positive inspirations, and lots of authors. If you look into my husband’s you find lots of gaming stuff, military articles and politics. He’s a warrior and I’m a pacifist. Yet, he’s a softy (shhh but will totally deny it)!

The other day he mentioned that our YouTube on Roku looks like he’s got a personality disorder. It goes from political segments and history information to spiritual videos and meditation music. Then there is the random searches for kid videos.

What we have in common is the mutual respect and acceptance that we don’t have to believe or like the same things. We are individuals coming together to learn, love and expand. It’s not my responsibility to mold him into anything as well as his desire to make me into someone else. We talk about things and not have to agree on everything. Although he’s the first man who shares similar political and religious beliefs, we still disagree on many issues.

People believe that relationships have to be identical. They feel they have to be tied by similar beliefs. The beauty of finding someone different is that you each bring newness to the union and then find mutual things together. You begin to experience different perspectives.

When you find that you can consider yourself blessed.

Time is in Your Favor

holding time

It’s the middle of February. Already! I don’t quite know how things are happening so fast. We are emotionally and spiritually spinning in giant vortexes. Friday night I didn’t sleep. I was in and out of meditation most of the night…swirling up and down and all around the universe. I was feeling the universal forces in motion and it felt like my heart was going to give out. Not a good feeling for an empath.

It feels as if timelines are collapsing. Every day I hear of another suicide close to me, or someone six degrees from me. The bodies and minds can’t take the changes. It’s okay to not have the answers. It is NOT okay to give up without trying to reach out. I work in mental health and I am experiencing a higher degree of de-fragments. I am witnessing emotions dictating actions and creating deadly reactions.
I wish I could say I am sleeping well. I am not. I am moving from one timeline into another. My night activities are as chaotic as the waking day time ones. I’ve concluded that even through meditation I cannot slow down the times. They aren’t suppose to be slowed down because we are shifting and it’s part of mass consciousness upgrades. Discomfort pushes growth.
But what are we being pushed into?
I don’t know but when I go into the space of love and peace…when I enter sacredness I see a different world. I can hear John Lennon’s song, “Imagine” in my heart. And this, darlings, is what I feel is the pushing. Things are changing, especially when you detach from the news and media. You will find just by looking around your tribe and circles that we are returning to authenticity and truth.
I urge you to be gentle with yourself. Old traumas and programming are coming up. We are being asked to clear the things that are toxic in our lives. We are required to cut cords of things that cause us pain. We are being redirected to notice what sets our desires on fire: creativity, travel, gathering with like-minded folks, family, nature, spirituality and so much more. It’s no wonder we are being stripped of hurt, shame and guilt.
Our lives are changing. Technology has clearly forced us to live at a faster pace but it can also be utilized to slow down. You do not have to depend on it for every little thing. If the phone rings, you don’t have to answer. The emails and texts can wait. Social media doesn’t have to be touched all day long. We have become slaved to the things we complain about…too much stimuli.
What’s happening OUT THERE is also being felt immensely in here. Politics, religion, and everything else is keeping you in a prison of mind control. You are being given what to think and digest instead of you searching for what you really want in life.
So, once again…I am retrieving for a bit. I am experiencing a lot of chaos around me. The external noises are as loud as the ones I visit at night in sleep or meditation. Something has to be done to slow it down. I write everyday and I feel I need to return to journaling and the simplicity of pen and paper. I find that in times of real healing and release it is the pen that shows me truth. It never fails since I was a little girl.
Find your center core. Time is in your favor…you get to decide how you move through these challenging times. Bring love and forgiveness to it. Let go of old should’ves and could’ves. You are here for a reason and it isn’t to punish yourself for past experiences. It isn’t to torture your soul for sins that pushed you to grow. Let that go and allow the new you emerge in peace. But, please, if you can’t find someone to talk to I am here. Email me…I will check periodically dharma.1111@hotmail.com.
I love you…
Millie

Light of Divinity

soul

I did not know

what I now know

that there was always

YOU…

in every corner,

in every breath,

in every light of life.

I’ve never been alone

as you have been

in me guiding

every particle,

every cell,

every atom of my being.

And, now,

it is as if finally

I am awake

receiving me for the

very first time

while witnessing

the light of joy

expand the heart

for all

who search for

the breath of Divinity….

Truth

Listen closely,

            Truth is quiet

pressing against the walls

                        hoping                       you take notice

            and find the strength to open up

                                    a window

and let the air                     of life inside.

Truth isn’t lurking in the              shadows

            but it is the light

                                                that penetrates

through treasures

                                    of         forgotten images

            while You                 make up stories

                        masquerading        a façade,

trying to fit into the world and expectations.

Listen attentively,

            Truth is patient

waiting for you to take it,

                        to call for it,

and dance                in harmony.

            It stands,       swaying to the music of your spirit,

            watching you reject it over and over

until one day

            you can’t avoid the light that it brings

                        and you must take Truth

into you         as when a mother embraces her newborn child –            engulfed in all the love

                                    and peace

                                                             it brings…

through the divinity in you.

In Your Hands

There…

feel the soil

nails deep in earth,

fingers thrusting and pushing.

Smell terra firma

as growth begins

with your help

triggering all

molecules and particles

as your extension.

You can choose

to hold on to what is good

even if it is

a handful of creation,

the ground,

the tree of your existence.

Hold space,

the universe,

and God

right in between your palms.

Trail the path,

feel the power and let go,

allowing life to engulf you.

Let it sit and move and grow

so that you can witness

the greatness,

the vastness,

the miracle

of the Divine

as it integrates in YOU.

Prayer

prayer

I pray, not for an answer,

but to have my thoughts,

my voice, my soul,

heard

throughout this Divine space.

I pray, not for worship,

but for the confirmation

of what my spirit

already knows.

I pray, not to negotiate,

but to release anticipation

of what I’ve attracted

into manifestation.

I pray, not because I doubt,

but because it is a certainty

that I am part of Divinity.

I pray, not for miracles,

but with the understanding

that I hold the wonders

of everything I ask…

the universal truth

for being a child of Spirit.

Freedom of Spirituality


When asked about the common subjects people talk to me about I always say “Love and Spirit.” People will share their love and stories without filter. It’s a given! They will unload information in a heart beat. The second subject is always along the lines of spiritual deprivation. Folks are in need of magic, mysticism, miracles, and faith. They want to know that there are others out there with the same curiosity and open-conscious level of understanding. They want to know that this is just not all of it…you know, the concept of living just to pay bills. Because, frankly, it’s not!

I am blessed to know (and my list continues to grow) hundreds of spiritual people. They are from all walks of life: Christians, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, and even non-denominational. I also know many religious folks who come across as spiritual but in truth they are all mind and no heart.

To me spirituality is having a compassionate heart tied to a faith in something greater than ourselves that is non-violent and non-judgmental. If you are judging, criticizing and point all sorts of fingers to another while reciting God’s name, well darling, you aren’t spiritual. You are something else.

Unfortunately there are a lot of religions based on the mastery of manipulation and the heart has to be taken out of the equation. You cannot love and hate at the same time. Impossible!

Last year on this same week a few friends showed up from Florida and Georgia. Ah…the beauty of entertaining like-minded souls is in the allowance. We were able to openly discuss so many subjects of the conscious mind. And the thing that kept coming up was spiritual deprivation and starvation. We are not connecting one on one with others.

I know they are millions feeling this massive shift of awareness, however, due to the overwhelming negativity of the pointing-fingers syndrome, no one discusses their faith with anyone. No one wants to be ridiculed. No one wants to die. The deprivation grows larger and before you know we are all scattered and left to fend for ourselves and spirit.

Spirituality is a lonely path. My steps cannot be walked by you and vice versa. We can, however, compare the paths. We can discuss the different ways we come into prayer, contemplation and meditation. We can share experiences that are beyond this realm. We can go deep into conversations about stars, planets, and cosmic energy. We can trust in each other when someone says, “Yeah, I was back there talking to the fairies and then a unicorn brought me out of the forest.” Just because you haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I haven’t experienced homelessness but I sure believe in it. I haven’t experienced war but I now it’s there. So, these are folks that want more. They crave for spiritual knowledge. They eat, sleep, watch and read all sorts of information trying to rationalize or enrich their faith.

But there is freedom in spirituality. It lies in the belief that there is something greater than the self. It’s Christ Consciousness, God, Divinity or whatever label you put to it.

For centuries religions have done this. It’s part of our DNA, we must grow into the unknown. It’s pretty sad that in today’s world we can still be deprived by the simplest forms of human needs: mind, body and spirit.

I don’t have answers on how to find more spiritual connections. I really haven’t a clue. At least ten times a week I get a message from someone asking for spiritual retreats, meet-ups, or just comments on wanting connections with Spirit. I can only tell you that at times what you are looking from others is right inside of you if you just sit long enough to listen.

I get up in the early hours of the morning. Sometimes I walk outside looking for God through the stars and nature. Other times I sit with the silence of the room and travel beyond places that our human mind can accept as real. I consciously raise my vibration to the highest form of love and dispel any emotion or attachment. I quiet the ego bitchiness and center myself to what matters. It’s in those moments that Spirit visits me. It’s in those precious minutes that the universe cradles me with unbelievable forms of awareness through love. And, it’s also in those times that forgiveness arrives and I can let go of all that may be causing me turmoil or chaos. I walk away from those experiences made new. I am still a spiritual being having a human experience. I am choosing to make it less dense with emotional baggage.

You have the answers to all your spiritual questions. You carry with you the spiritual knowledge to change and feed and enhance your life through divine guidance. You are all there is. Sure it’s awesome to share with others. Heck yeah! It’s comforting to know you aren’t bat-ass crazy and the looney farm has a room with your name on it waiting for you to check yourself in. That’s always wonderful to acknowledge! Likes attract likes. If you want more spiritually grounded individuals in your life you have to become one yourself without the fear of being scrutinized. You must be willing to dive into the waters of vulnerability. You must continue to ask questions and research. You must be willing to expand and shift beyond in spite of what society tells you. You also have to look around your circle and realize when you have to let go of toxic energy. You have to put yourself in the arms of respect and self-worth. What good will it do you to find spiritual folks and then return to a place that destroys the yummy energy?

Because, darlings, once you see you cannot un-see. You cannot go back to what you believed. Once you are open to the greatness of this life there is no going back to the distrusting voices or anything else that suppressed you.

Go love you. Go believe in yourself. Go be spiritual through the forest, by the shoreline, over the desert, on a mountain top. Just BE! You got this!

I love you regardless of what you think you are. To me, you are a miracle.

~Millie