I woke this morning to this message from my publisher.
“Millie, you did it! At 1:00 a.m. January 14th, your book became a #1 Bestseller.
Congratulations! Your book is touching lives and inspiring resilience in all who read it. Thank you for trusting us with your story. We’re honored to be your publisher. ”
WE (you all included) made this happened. Thank you. I’m deeply moved. I am speechless. It’s a lovely honor and I pray the book touches you and resonates with you. Labels and categories are great but, to me, what matters is that you recognize your inner strength to overcome challenges in your life. That you don’t give up when things get hard. And, that you recognize your love and light in this world.
I don’t want to wish you a Happy New Year. It’s just a day. I want to wish you a happy new beginning. Make the next few days a priority in your life to write down those things you really want. Carry over the ones from 2022 that weren’t available. It’s not about making resolutions that are impossible to fulfill. I urge you to make realistic goals that once you clarify on paper, you can truly work towards them.
Cheers to all those things you work hard to attain. Kudos for reinventing yourself, especially the last few years. I am here praising you on for all you have done. We have all been in major time-outs waiting to birth a newness in the collective consciousness. 2023 is a year of stepping into your dreams. It’s a time to gather up the courage to do the things you have been afraid to tackle.
I have chosen two special words for my year: ease and flow. The last two years have been about change and growing and lots of forgiveness. 2022 was a year of pure release and awareness. Oh my gosh! Did I ever release! It wasn’t just the ending of a marriage, or shifting careers, or now being a part-time single parent again since we share the children 50/50. There has been a huge overhaul in my identity. I can’t recognize the woman I was two years ago, or even a year ago.
I recognized my participation in all the challenges, struggles and drama. I took responsibility for allowing people to force me to grow because of betrayal, and other matters. It’s not always easy to take accountability for the shit storm. I have! I know where I failed, especially in stopping the issues before they appeared. I feel the last two years have been amazing teachers and gave me tremendous opportunities to grow and heal. Taking the leap to work for myself as a writer and a healer was massive. It’s not always been pleasant, but so worth it. I am not one who needs constant security, but there were times that I wanted to disappear from all the struggles. (NOTE that my words for this year are ease and flow because I am done with anything that is NOT!)
I am in a constant state of love. Loving myself. Loving others. Loving all parts of anything that are hard and a bit impossible at times. Loving the journey of forgiveness. All of this has allowed me to finish my memoir book, Erasable, that is coming out 1/11/23.
Last night I had a dream that I was pregnant. I dream a lot about pregnancies or having more children (which stresses me a bit since I already have 8 and I am too old to have babies). Then I realize that we have been undergoing an intense pregnancy of sorts for a while. Now it’s time to give birth to all that you desire, the things you are passionate about, the joy that you have put away for some time. It is the most incredible time in history because of all that is moving astrologically. And the world, the collective, has truly experience a window to see what is possible. There will be many who are going to awake this year to what is important, and truth.
It’s time, my love! It’s time to stop stopping the unstoppable. The fire is rising in you and even if you can’t figure out what the yearning is asking of you… it’s there ready for a new exciting initiation. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that magnificent? If you are feeling anxious or full of unknown anticipation, please ride the wave. It’s all the energies. I promise it will be your year!
Happy new beginnings. Happy laboring. Happy new chapter. Call it whatever you want, but get out of your comfort zone and create the life you truly aspire to have. You get to choose it all! I believe in you.
I love you!
**I am still keeping the intuitive reading session rate ($77 for a half hour) another month since I’ve had many inquiries. You can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org or text me 828-707-8897.
We are so hard on ourselves. You notice that? How deeply ridiculous we treat ourselves at times? We aren’t always that hard with others.
Saturday I was sent the final edits for my memoir, Erasable. I opened up the manuscript and became paralyzed. There wasn’t much to change but the idea of having to re-read this story (MY STORY) oh my gosh… it brought me to my knees.
I had to relive parts of me I had forgotten. I wrote the first part of this memoir 20 years ago, right after my accident. I worked on it 2 years ago and redid a lot of it. But it’s been a long while since I went detail by detail, line by line, word by word, mano a mano.
I was still under the weather dealing with the crud. I was struggling just to take care of the kids and myself. And, here in an email, comes this manuscript with a timely deadline in order to get it out on 1/11/23.
So, I cried. I let the publisher know that maybe this wasn’t a good enough book to finish. The editor and publisher immediately returned my email with suggestions and loving support. I understand a lot of authors at the last minute fear their words being put out there. They talked me off the ledge. They suggested I call a mutual friend of ours (who had put out a book earlier this year). She held my hair and my hand throughout the day from many miles away and she was vital to my ability in moving through all the emotions.
I worked on it Saturday and Sunday and it was sent back.
Was it hard? Not once I started! Was it emotional? You betcha! Does it share a message that others will understand? I have no doubt! It is me at my most vulnerable. It’s raw, and real.
To read of the woman I was then and the woman I’ve become now in a book… it’s something. It’s transformational.
The secret to change is always in the awareness because once you know better, you do better. Once you become responsible and accountable for your decisions, your choices, and your life… the world opens up in a very different frequency.
Fear will stop us from succeeding. Had I let that fear of being seen take over, there may not be a book. For that matter, I wouldn’t be writing the way I write daily. I believe that stories connect us. Words comfort us, move us, and allow us to recognize that we aren’t alone.
For several years now I have shifted my language. I used to say “I hope” and now I say “I trust.”
To me there is a difference in the way I use the words. When I use hope it feels like a desire and expectation. It doesn’t feel like it is very reliable.
Trust is confident. It is faithful. Trust is believing that things will manifest. It is knowing that things happen in divine timing.
Hope does not feel that way. It feels like it lacks something. I don’t know but try it out for yourself.
I share things with trust rather than hope. Sometimes “hope” is the only thing another person can understand. We relate to what we’ve been programmed to hear.
I trust that things happen. I have faith in them. When I pray or meditate I go into the practice with trust, not hope. Hoping for something feels powerless. Trusting in something feels very empowering.
Trusting you have a deliciously magical day. I love you.
It’s becoming real! Just got off a Zoom meeting with my publisher. My memoir: Erasable, has a tentative publishing date of 1/11/23 (which is my favorite number 111). It’s almost here.
It took me 20 years to write this book. T-w-e-n-t-y! It has been a labor of love, vulnerability, trust, courage, and acceptance. In the process it has released and healed me. Each word navigates my sacred journey from invisibility to clarity.
I cannot wait to have it in my hands and available for you to read it.
Woohoo! It’s happening. I am giddy… can you tell?
I am beyond grateful for the support from my community.
I came out of a soft meditation re-entering this world with complete openness and vulnerability. I opened my eyes to the candles in front, engulfed by the darkness of early morning. It’s a sacred time. My favorite time of the day.
I moved my hand towards my chest patting the soft thump of movement.
I returned to what I know.
I hear the world at 3am. It’s quite different than any other time. It’s magical. The sounds from earth are therapeutic and of higher vibration. In that silence you can feel the connection of everything. You and I are not separate. There is no distinction of distance. There is only unity and connection.
The rain was thumping on the glass door. I opened up the blinds, and even though it was pitch black, I could see the silhouettes of the water.
I returned to my presence.
I bow my head in gratitude. A new day has arrived. I will do my best to help. I don’t know how it will show up. I don’t know who I will serve with love and kindness. My only job is to just show up.
I’m here. Sending healing to all the areas that are fractured or hurting. I’m here to help shift the conscious mayhem of social fear. I’m here to help love you even if you don’t feel lovable. You are magnificent. I will keep reminding you.
There are so many events in my life… single moments that scream “pay attention right now!” These stretches of time give, take, and release into the universe the joy of being me. I love them as they alone stand in shifting my awareness from too much to the NOW. It’s these things that capture the person I am and what I cherish in my life:
I love when my children call me for no reason whatsoever but to say “hello, Mom, and I love you.”
I love laughing till I cry, not in a corny way but in a way that an intellectual conversation suddenly dives into silliness and whatever was said before the outbreak is forgotten.
I love random texts full of hellos and gratitude in the sweetest way possible with just a word or a picture.
I love how tears escape unexpectedly with a sound of a one-sentence story with no expectation of filling the air with more.
I love sending cards, delicately placing each word with a tiny piece of my heart to fly into the hands of another.
I love smells that remind me of something far and gone but linger for a few seconds in a corner of my mind.
I love old songs that transport me into a place and time of embrace.
I love unexpected hugs in a middle of a talk when it has nothing to do with touching and the skin of another amps and vibrates from the shock of grabbing onto it.
I love chasing sunrises and sunsets when the colors remind me of God’s masterpiece.
I love the perfect cup of cafe con leche and bringing it back to bed as I snuggle for just a little longer with my thoughts and prayers.
These are non sequential moments that open me up, gather the spiritual side of me, and then drop me into another place that I cannot verbalize. They touch and burn and linger for a while allowing for the complete gratitude of Divinity. And like that, I love the way some folks can hold a glance without saying much and hand a smile that contagiously plants itself on my face.
I love feeling the earth on my bare feet when the soil is moist and cold while reminding me to ground my scattered soul. I love seeing the light in others that speaks louder than anything they can share with me, or seeing their angels and ancestors watching over them. I love sitting with anticipation each morning and waiting for light to break through the darkness while I say my prayers, light my candles and wish for goodness in the day. I also love how when someone is sleeping they can murmur a part of their dreams while inviting me into their dreamland.
And, one of my favorite things is the smell of truth and authenticity when someone has no agenda except being in my presence just because they feel loved and appreciated. These things happen without my knowing. They just bring me back to the present as a gift from the Heavens.
May you find joy in your favorite things while attracting more of them!
(Google image since I could not take a picture of the man.)
This morning on my way to take the kids to camp, I watched a young man, half-naked, on the side of the interstate yelling at the trees and sky. It was right before 7AM. My windows were down and as I passed him I heard, “F*cK You!” as his fists were pointing upward.
I had this sensation of stopping, but I had the kids. And I am not part of this man’s story. A piece of me marveled at the ability to shout out to the Heavens, that raw vulnerability (even if he was strung out on something) to say exactly what he was feeling.
Most of us don’t.
We bury the pain or the anger. We bulldoze over it. We expect things will change and get angry when they don’t. We demand, beg, plead and complain about it.
Whenever I’ve had enough, I climb the tallest mountain around here early enough not to bump into anyone. When I get to the top, I sit on the largest boulder. The cows on that field surround me. Then I yell to the top of my lungs. I don’t stop till I feel the energy move through me. I sit for a bit. I may cry. I may write. I may just close my eyes and allow the sensations of nature embody me. I become still, smelling the earth, tasting the wind, hearing my heart beat.
I watched this man today and recognized it is time for another trip up the mountain. Those releases are powerful. I had a special pillow for one of my children when she was small so that she could hit it and yell. It was just a way for her to stabilize her little emotional body. Sometimes it was exactly what she needed. Other times it made it worst. We always found a happy medium.
This man needed this today. He had enough (or not enough). Who knows!
Today, allow yourself to feel what needs to move through you. Lock yourself in the car and yell. Scream in a pillow. Allow the energy to move through you and don’t filter it, avoid it, or reject it. Our bodies are transitioning with all the collective madness. If you can’t give yourself permission to let it out, your physical body begins to absorb it all in toxic ways. Self-care is also about releasing the things that haunt you.
A lot gets mentioned about economic and material poverty in our world. But because of these issues and events we, as human beings, are coming out of an era of spiritual poverty. People are searching for meaning, awakening, and evolving to fulfill the absence that money once occupied. There is no shopping, eating out, purchasing expensive homes and cars, or traveling to fill the void inside. Therefore, we find that spiritual quest is on a rise these days.
Two years ago we were put in a global time out. Millions of souls have transitioned in the last twenty-four months. Wars have begun and others have ended. The pandemic of fear took over our world like the plague. We’ve learned so much about tenacity, unity, division, faith, belief, manipulation and still we continue searching for a truth that is individual like our fingerprints.
Folks are recognizing that separation from self is not living an authentic life. It is actually sleep walking through it. People are enriching their lives with a faithful quest for Divinity. We are trailblazing into new frontiers of conscious shifters. Between a massive Exodus and a deep awareness of time being precious, we are searching more than ever for our place in the world… a new world we’ve never experienced beforehand.
In the past we have looked and searched for meaning, purpose, and aspiration from any source while filling ourselves with technology, drugs, alcohol, food, etc. People now seem to be questioning their choices more carefully. Spiritual richness comes from acceptance and allowing humanity to join together. It is about witnessing the old paradigms and pushing through what hasn’t worked. Strangers become friends because we see God looking through their eyes. Judgment is no longer dictating our decisions. We are rising into unity.
When we step away from the media, the fear-based headlines, we begin to witness the truth of our power. We are miraculous beings in full creation at all times. We recognize that there no borders in reality, only those drawn on a map; that money is a piece of paper without real value except what we give it, and governments have as much authority as we give them. And I am understand that it’s not as easy as black or white. We live in a flux of endless man-made gray areas that govern and determine our freedom.
But, there is God. There is a omnipotence source that is also always available to us. We live in a Matrix-like simulation and we get to unplug at any given time to see the real world. It’s up to each of us to disengage from the masses and find our moral compass.
I remember once reading a quote from Stan Dale, the founder of the Human Awareness Institute: “If God wanted to hide, He would hide in human beings because that’s the last place we would think to look.” I know this is now changing. We have been forced to take accountability for our divinity.
I feel we are searching more within ourselves and others in this new era. I believe we are looking through a child’s eyes, a stranger’s smile, or a friend’s words and finding God giving us a personal message. I believe in synchronicity, serendipity, and faith that we are all becoming more conscious of the thin thread that ties us together. I believe in Quantum physics, science of the mind, and the chemistry of God. I am continuously exploring pushing consciousness to the next level. Because of this, I know in my heart, that we are entering spiritual richness and leaving the spiritual poverty as a lesson in our human path. The footprints of selfishness, isolation, addiction, and destruction will be a distant memory in the near future. And, this is what opens my heart and allows me to look forward to deeper spiritual growth. This is also what keeps me reaching out and sharing stories of compassion and kindness even when they might seem mundane.
I may seem naive and gullible to many, for believing in this new utopia, but I have seen it in dreams, alternate timelines, and cosmic travels. I have sat in ceremony with divine plant medicine and experienced visions that have shown me the evolution of humanity. Whether it may happen, or not, does not matter. It all starts with believing and placing the vibration of love out to Gaia and it’s habitants.
An opened heart to the world brings peace, love and unity for all. I am so grateful for what lies ahead. It may get a little bumpy before we experience this new world, but I am here to assist through my own vibrational shifts. I am deeply blessed that I am not alone on this journey. Thank you for joining me!