The Release

release woman

A few months ago I met a woman in a store in Downtown Asheville. She walked passed me and I gasped at her angelic beauty. I introduced myself and we began a sweet friendship that has evolved into a magical connection.

She’s a healer. A massage therapist and Reiki practitioner (among other things).  I saw on Facebook that she was sharing a special Heart Chakra Therapy/Massage for the month of February. I made an appointment with her for last Tuesday.

Kelie is fabulous. Her energy is soothing and loving. I can always use a little healing and energy to the heart department. But, what I didn’t expect was the intense opening after I left her place. I expected a little relaxation, perhaps a few tears, but never the deep conscious awareness of a massive shift.

Tenderness and intuition are a marriage of astronomical proportions. I give a lot of me to others. I am well aware of how I spend my days sending love. I also keep a lot to myself, especially old wounds. I think I release them but when I get a healing treatment like this it comes up and I am well aware that our cellular memories run profound.

They get stuck and create new spaces in our physical bodies. The emotional body gets jacked up. The spiritual body feels stumped. The misalignment is sometimes subtle but sometimes it manifests in severe diseases and ailments.

I spent Tuesday night sobbing, curled up in fetal position throughout the night. I was visited by guidance. I cut energetic cords of things that no longer serve me. There were moments of lucid dreaming, returning to the past, unraveling conversations that have created themselves into unnecessary experiences.

What was I creating with these stories through lack of self-worth?

I am always fascinated by how touch heals us. A massage, a few crystal stones, aromatherapy and tenderness can catapult a release that has been stored away in a small Pandora’s box. The moment it opens up it sure feels like all hell breaks loose.

We are always one decision away from healing and releasing. I know I must process things first. I tend to hold on to things and forget that I have them there. Every so often they sneak out with a song, a conversation, and the memory transports me back to the past. Then I rethink, re-shift, and readjust my sails. What I forget to do is truly release and let go of them completely.

I get help. I go to someone else who isn’t part of my stories. I’m amazed how the Universe aligns those sweet healers in my path. And then…bang…it happens and I am recreated into a beautiful newness of trust and light.

This is also the work I am creating with clients. Story tending and sharing helps grab those old experiences in order to release. We create magic together. I love being the student witnessing the journey.

It’s truly sacred and full of love. For everyone involved.

I love you!

I urge you to check out Kelie’s website: https://www.rubyrosesanctuary.net/

 

 

 

Shelter

The skin that I wear
has layers of years
molded to remind me
of the detours
I took long ago.

This body,
this shield,
is here to clothe
the very essence of
my being.

It isn’t a reflection
of what you see.
It is the comfort,
a home,
for you to find
and rest upon
with each word,
touch, and
embrace.

I am all,
and more,
less the masquerades,
of what others
expect.

I am me…
I am spirit…
I am.

The Unraveling

lotus

This living and dying

in synchronicity,

symmetrically

disentangling itself

is the lotus flower

of existence.

Each petal awakens

and sleeps

the singularity of lessons.

There is love,

compassion,

anger,

fear,

faith:

an endless composition

in rhythmic succession.

Each breath and demise

pulls and releases

the foundation of Spirit.

This unfolding

takes and surrenders

simultaneously into our being

to deliberately force us to be…

just be one with

the Divine.

We are a bunch of flakes

flake

I saw this small snowflake on Bobbie’s hair the other day. It was perfect. I thought to myself, “This flake is just like her, like me, like everyone. No two are alike. They fall without permission and stay present everywhere. Together among others we can’t see their individuality. But, when we search closely we see perfection.”

I see your spirit and your uniqueness as beautiful. Each one of us is here together melting into one. Don’t lose sight of your gifts and your beauty just to blend with the norm. Be a lovely snowflake caught in the wind, a window or hair…standing out to make a difference! In those moments that chaos embraces you with uncertainty, fear, anxiety and questions notice that you are the most important person in your life.  You make a difference in this world.

The most incredible sense of freedom is being who you are and loving yourself without expectations from others.  Just like the snowflakes we will land where we are supposed to.  Life is magical in that way.  Each of us at one time or another has been overwhelmed by the opinions of others.  Don’t let them dim your light.  It will make you lonely, isolated and disregarded.  What you are is just as intricate and beautiful as the designs on a flake.  As A.A. Milne said, “The things that make me different are the things that make me.”

Unlimited, Uninhibited, Unrestrained

I’ve had a relationship with someone for sometime.  It is a friendship that has managed to stay put for almost twenty-five years. It works because we are magnets to each other but in the most unusual unrestrained way.  I realize that the attraction is in that uninhibited ability to find comfort through distance.  There is an uncanny ability to remain remote and when we are together find the most amazing closure between two people.  We can’t find that over the phone, via text, through emails, or letters.  It is only available when we sit together in front of each other.  In the presence of one another we are pure harmony.

Somehow time doesn’t matter.  We don’t seem to be affected by space and any universal quantum structure.  We pick up right where we left off without missing a beat.  And, yes, there are times I wish that we held on tighter and promised each other that things would work out in a loving fashion as a labeled “romantic relationship.”  There are many times we don’t speak for a while and I wish one of us could admit that missing each other is not normal.  But the dynamics of this relationship is in the act of being unattained.  No questions asked, nothing gets shared that isn’t relevant to our union.  The drama of everyday life gets placed in a distant shelf and what we find is the easiness of two people who enjoy each others company.  There have been many times when one of us has crossed the line with wanting to make it into something that it’s not and the friendship suffers for a period of time.  I imagine those close to us cannot find a label for this on-going relationship.  I, myself, have had to expand on the parameters of what it is and isn’t.

As I look around at all my other relationships and friendships I realize that how I work best is with the adjective: unrestricted.  I am there for those who need me but I refuse to be chained or attained in such a way that feels constricted.  That goes for all my relationships, whether it is as a mother, a lover, or a friend.  Those chains that tied me up for years have disappeared.  What’s left are the scars of that bondage.  And, many still try to control the woman they were used to controlling. It is a constant reminder of how I used to live…with an everlasting torment of judgments and intolerance.

The more time I spend alone with me, the easier it is to desire that freedom of coming and going.  I love  returning to a place of truth within me.  And, yes, a romantic relationship seems beautiful.  I am a true romantic at heart.  My very core is love and romance.  But what I know about me is that there is a price one must pay with being in a “relation-ship.”  You have to be willing to relate and stay put in that role.  You have to be willing to work at it.  The right love may come and it must be easy. It has to be in order for me to dive in.  Right now in my life, I have to be honest in realizing that I can’t do it.  It doesn’t mean that I won’t be able to be in one in the future.  The most important relationship right now is that of getting to know this middle aged woman.  It has been four years since I left the old me.  I am still trying to figure out how to iron out my kinks.  There is also an issue that throughout this time I have become selfish with my time.  I enjoy the silence of my mornings, the ability to be with me and others without an agenda, and the unlimited power to pick and choose how my day will evolve.

I remember years ago watching Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts.  There’s a scene in the movie that she makes several different types of eggs.  Every time she was in a relationship with a man she acquired the way he liked his eggs cooked.  Once she was alone she takes the time to find out what way she likes her eggs.  That’s where I am right now.  That part of the movie is a great metaphor on how we lose ourselves in relationships.  We acquire another person’s taste and behavior, often forgetting about our own needs.  I have finally figured out how I like my eggs…and they vary with each day!