Find Your Fire

On June 6, 2022 By Moments with MillieIn EssayLeave a comment

I found something last week while at the retreat in Mexico: my value and my fire. I have been valuing my worth based on the woman I was for so many years in my marriage; the woman who wasn’t seen or appreciated. I am not that woman any longer. The ability to devalue ourselves supersedes any other value others place on us.

No more! No mas!

I sat around with those incredible successful women and the first few days I felt like an imposter. I was once them. I was in the corporate world, making tons of money, living a life of luxury. Twelve years ago I ran away from my life by coming up to the mountains and buying a rundown motel with the dream of turning it into a retreat center. I experienced hardship like never before. I was stripped from everything and found my spirituality front and center. It became the catalyst for my beliefs now. Even after I left that business I felt something else was missing.

It was me. I was the missing link!

Then I settled. I settled into a life that was harder than it needed to be and I worked at it really well. I was tenacious in my pursuit to just settle into someone else’s beliefs. And there, in that space, I forgot my worth. Do you recognize this? I see this in so many of my sessions.

I walked the beach in Chacala several times a day. Sometimes alone, other times in the arms of a woman, as I listened to their stories. We are all connected. We all struggle. We have all worked hard to become who we are. I worked really hard to fit a certain ideology of the woman I had been for years. And that woman is no more.

From here on I will be working on my business as if it was a business and not some hobby. I need to make a life for me and these two little ones that gives me the opportunity to help others without staying in struggling mode.

A friend said this to me a few months ago: “You are gifted beyond measures but you still think you aren’t worth it. It’s like when you lose a ton of weight and you still look for clothes in that larger size. You don’t recognize that you are smaller. That is how you see yourself, as if you don’t have something valuable to give someone. Get out of the big-sized clothes and see your worth in your business….” This didn’t really hit me until this past week.

My website sacredjourneyinward.com is going to be shifting as well. My prices need to increase as everything around our economy has as well. I have a unique way of sharing space with my clients. I can share more in a half hour than a lot of people do in an hour. The information comes through quickly and efficiently. Somehow I have devalued my worth based on how easily it comes through. That is a gift and a blessing. And like an artist, it is unique to me.

I will also be creating classes online. My book, Erasable, is now being worked on by my publisher. I have two more that I am editing to also get published. I am venturing into public speaking (which is a massive change from being in hiding). I am coaching a lot more these days as well. I am stretching, growing, and expanding emotionally and spiritually. I don’t always recognize this new worth, but I am trusting it and moving with it. It is overdue!

Thank you for sticking with me. I have had so many Aha moments in the past week. The one that sticks out the most is my deep awareness of how I mother the world. I love. I am a social servant and so are you. Below is a beautiful piece by Jaiya John which will resonate with you!

I love you,
Millie

You are Part Butterfly

On March 29, 2022 By Moments with MillieIn Essay10 Comments

I read somewhere this week that butterflies can’t see their own wings. They have no idea how magnificent and beautiful they are. They don’t know that they hold magic in their colorful wings.

Imagine that?!

Maybe, just maybe, you are part butterfly. You aren’t able to see your beauty or how magnificently miraculous you are. It’s all in you and you just can’t access it, but others around you see you. They see the divinity in you… moving along, exchanging energy, loving life, and feeling that yummilicious compassion that ties us together.

It’s okay! You are part butterfly. That’s it!!!
So, continue spreading your wings. Keep loving yourself. Continue showing up.

We see you. I see you. You are exquisite, graceful, and created in the image of Source!

I love you!

Millie

Your Voice

On March 22, 2022 By Moments with MillieIn EssayLeave a comment

Horse Intuition

On March 15, 2022 By Moments with MillieIn EssayLeave a comment

My ex and I bought a beautiful property in South Florida many years ago that was owned by a trainer for a local race track. When we purchased the five acres from the German man, he had several horses there that he had rescued from being put down. These were horses that no longer raced or had been injured. There was one particular quarter horse that was about two years old that needed a home. We decided to keep him there. The man told us that the horse could not be mounted. He was scared of everything and had no problem showing his anger with kicking or biting. In his very thick German accent he said, “Horse be like dog. He cannot do nothing but walk around. Horse is not good for riding. You want to stay with horse make sure he has food and space to roam.”

I named the horse Keanu because he had the most beautiful almond brown eyes that showed a deep wound. There was a brokenness that reminded me of the actor.

As we demolished the small house and began rebuilding our ranch home the horse lived in the stables and on back of the property. He had over an acre to roam around as he pleased. I would go see him, feed him, and he would not come to me. We respected one another. He was a big horse and I was constantly in a rush, moving through life in hyper speed. I did not have the pace or intuition that leads my life now. At 32 years old I had two speeds, go-go or go faster. But over the first few months Keanu would just stand back and observe. He observed the six children running around the property. He saw the other animals we had there. There was a lot going on between making a pool and rebuilding the property to livable conditions. At times I would walk by him and start to talk to him. Within four months he would sneak up on me and nudge me with his nose. I would turn slowly and eventually he allowed me to touch him. Many months later I would walk with him around the property as he would keep his distance from me and I learned to just share uninhibitedly with him.

Yesterday a very good friend of mine was sharing something about her husband. I stopped her in the middle of her story and said, “Oh, my God I had a horse just like your husband.”

She looked at me a bit puzzled. I said, “I haven’t thought about that horse in so many years, but your husband has been beaten down so much in his life that it requires structure, trust and patience to be able to allow him to open up slowly.” Her eyes opened widely, “Yes. Yes. Oh, you understand!”

As I was falling asleep last night I began to think of Keanu. There was one particular memory that stood out and at the time I didn’t understand why I would remember it the way I did. I had a horrible day and I went to the ranch to feed the animals. I shared with him the incident that happened with a client in Colombia. The horse came up and began to push me with his nose. He was forceful. I got out of his way and he continued to do it in a matter of showing me that I had the power to stop the excessive negative thoughts. I stood my ground as he moved erratically, running around me, pulling his legs close and back. I was afraid he would kick me no matter how long I kept saying his name. Then when I looked into his eyes and yelled, “Stop it. Stop this please!” The horse stopped and became motionless. My heart began to race faster. I didn’t know if I turned away from him, I would be safe.

I began to think of what the German man had said to me about his temper. I didn’t know anything about horses. I began to walk away from him and he came behind me and nudge my arm with his mouth without really biting me. I began to pet him, holding him in an embrace that I had never done before. I realized he wanted me to stop belittling myself (either that or he was extremely tired of my stories). He wanted me to stop abusing and allowing another to abuse me the way he had been abused in the race track. He had sensed my sadness, desolation, and frustration…I am sure for many months.

Keanu and I were friends for a few years until 9/11 when we lost all our money and I had to give him up. He had become mellower, loving, and did allow some people to ride him. He needed to trust and be trusted. That day, with my story, brought our abuse and self-worth into perspective. He had my back. I was able to have his.

If you want to see the essence of another in pain, take a deep look into their eyes, but don’t be shocked when you see your reflection staring back. Our energies are endless. Animals can feel us. Plants pick up on it. Other folks can feel the presence of something not being right. In a way we are all like Keanu, fractured and not able to trust so easily when we have been beaten down. We require gentleness, patience, and the deep understanding that no matter what we will be okay. We all just need compassion and love to bring us back to life.

I love you,
Millie

The Release

On February 20, 2020 By Moments with MillieIn EssayLeave a comment

release woman

A few months ago I met a woman in a store in Downtown Asheville. She walked passed me and I gasped at her angelic beauty. I introduced myself and we began a sweet friendship that has evolved into a magical connection.

She’s a healer. A massage therapist and Reiki practitioner (among other things). I saw on Facebook that she was sharing a special Heart Chakra Therapy/Massage for the month of February. I made an appointment with her for last Tuesday.

Kelie is fabulous. Her energy is soothing and loving. I can always use a little healing and energy to the heart department. But, what I didn’t expect was the intense opening after I left her place. I expected a little relaxation, perhaps a few tears, but never the deep conscious awareness of a massive shift.

Tenderness and intuition are a marriage of astronomical proportions. I give a lot of me to others. I am well aware of how I spend my days sending love. I also keep a lot to myself, especially old wounds. I think I release them but when I get a healing treatment like this it comes up and I am well aware that our cellular memories run profound.

They get stuck and create new spaces in our physical bodies. The emotional body gets jacked up. The spiritual body feels stumped. The misalignment is sometimes subtle but sometimes it manifests in severe diseases and ailments.

I spent Tuesday night sobbing, curled up in fetal position throughout the night. I was visited by guidance. I cut energetic cords of things that no longer serve me. There were moments of lucid dreaming, returning to the past, unraveling conversations that have created themselves into unnecessary experiences.

What was I creating with these stories through lack of self-worth?

I am always fascinated by how touch heals us. A massage, a few crystal stones, aromatherapy and tenderness can catapult a release that has been stored away in a small Pandora’s box. The moment it opens up it sure feels like all hell breaks loose.

We are always one decision away from healing and releasing. I know I must process things first. I tend to hold on to things and forget that I have them there. Every so often they sneak out with a song, a conversation, and the memory transports me back to the past. Then I rethink, re-shift, and readjust my sails. What I forget to do is truly release and let go of them completely.

I get help. I go to someone else who isn’t part of my stories. I’m amazed how the Universe aligns those sweet healers in my path. And then…bang…it happens and I am recreated into a beautiful newness of trust and light.

This is also the work I am creating with clients. Story tending and sharing helps grab those old experiences in order to release. We create magic together. I love being the student witnessing the journey.

It’s truly sacred and full of love. For everyone involved.

I love you!

I urge you to check out Kelie’s website: https://www.rubyrosesanctuary.net/

The Gift

On March 31, 2019 By Moments with MillieIn Uncategorized5 Comments

Life is Epic

On September 7, 2018 By Moments with MillieIn EssayLeave a comment

I woke this morning sick of my stories, the drama I repeat, and the never ending struggle to find peace among the storms that are not real but living in my little head. It’s sickening. This BEing and just allowing is not for sissies. No one said that the spiritual walk was meant to BE a walk in the park! It takes massive amount of discipline and I don’t follow orders very well…even when it’s from the esoteric world. So…I got up…did my meditation…had to stop right in the middle and said, “F*@k this crap! I can do this. I have manifested incredible experiences in this lifetime. I can let this go and move on without this struggle. This is my own ego creating this shit! I am more than this scene, this stage, and this production!!!” I got up from the sofa, went outside in the cool morning and saluted the four winds. Now feel like I can keep going without this intense production that hasn’t aired in any stage but mine…

We have the complete capacity and power to change our thoughts. In those moments I feel the swirl of energy directing me into joy, faith, and love. The heart opens up when I let go of the toxic stories I retell myself. It’s just a shift in perception. I promise.

Aren’t you sick of your same old stories, drama, struggles, and total bullshit (because it is just crap)? Then change the channel…tune into the mass consciousness of love…for you and the world. Get out of your head. Get out of your way…you got this! Onward and outward, darlings….take one breath at a time and move through your knowing. Have a blessed day!

You are Worthy

On August 4, 2018 By Moments with MillieIn Essay9 Comments

I want to tell you something that it’s hard for you to hear or accept: you are worthy. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of happiness. You are worthy of freedom. The shit you carry around, all those dark secrets that eat into your soul, attack your worth. You cannot go back in time no matter how much you power your thoughts. No matter how angry you get. No matter how much shame you hold. No matter who you blame. You cannot go back there. So stop sabotaging your future. Stop the insanity of negative self talk. Stop punishing your soul for all that has happened. What good is it bringing you? Your worth is a product of what you believe. You believe you are great…you will reach greatness. You believe you are lovable…you will find love. The monsters you carry around full of shame are stopping this moment and your future. No more hustling for your worth. Let it go. Find love. You are worth it.

Awareness of Self

On July 10, 2018 By Moments with MillieIn Essay1 Comment

I was driving from the supermarket this afternoon and the DJ on the radio mentioned that Nia Vardalos and her husband of 25 years are getting a divorce. They are the creators of the movie, based on their experience, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Now, I don’t know why the news hit me so hard. I don’t know these people. I’ve only watched the movie a few times and watched her on several other comedies. But it hit me. My heart felt the thump. Why?

It’s the 25 years. It’s the being with someone a quarter of a century to then have it end. This is what I know, being in your 50’s forces you to look at your life differently. You recognize that the clock is ticking faster. You stop tolerating the things that irritated you. You begin to find deeper meaning in life. People start to question their purpose and desire to feel a sense of newness. They begin to shed old skin and reinvent themselves. Sometimes the partnership cannot handle the changes. Relationships tend to either work through the midlife crisis or end.

I find it fascinating. I met a woman who got a divorce in her 80’s. She said she couldn’t be unhappy one more day. She wanted to feel free for once. It’s never too late to do what you desire.

I believe it takes work, commitment, consideration and profound awareness to stay together when things feel different. Millions do it. Some are happy. Others not so much. Communication is essential. Ego needs to take a backseat. We want to evolve and feel loved. We want to know we are seen and heard by our mates. It’s an awareness of self.

I wonder if she will make a movie now called My Big Fat Greek Divorce?

Never Compromise Your Truth

On June 19, 2018 By Moments with MillieIn Essay2 Comments

Never compromise your happiness, or your truth, in order to make someone else feel better. Never do something that goes against your gut. Never ever doubt that gut feeling that tells you to say,”No, this does not feel right!”

“No” is a complete sentence. Their anger is not a reflection of you. It’s an issue with them if they cannot understand. Sometimes you must say “no” to someone in order to say “yes” to you. And that, darling, is imperative for your soul’s evolution.

Today rise above what others have told you that has kept you from being free. Say “no” to all that old programming. You are magical. You are magnificent. You are absolutely the most delicious you there will ever be. And I am freaking honored to have you sharing the world with me.