The Lonely Journey

When asked about the common subjects people talk to me about I always say “Love and Spirit.” People will share their love and stories without filter. It’s a given! They will unload information in a heart beat.

The second subject is always along the lines of spiritual deprivation. Folks are in need of magic, mysticism, miracles, and faith. They want to know that there are others out there with the same curiosity and open-conscious level of understanding. They want to know that this is just not all of it…you know, the concept of living just to pay bills. Because, frankly, it’s not!

I am blessed to know (and my list continues to grow) hundreds of spiritual people. They are from all walks of life: Christians, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, and even non-denominational. I also know many religious folks who come across as spiritual but in truth they are all mind and no heart. To me spirituality is having a compassionate heart tied to a faith in something greater than ourselves that is non-violent and non-judgmental. If you are judging, criticizing and pointing all sorts of fingers to another while reciting God’s name, well darling, you aren’t spiritual. You are something else. Unfortunately there are a lot of religions based on the mastery of manipulation and the heart has to be taken out of the equation. You cannot love and hate at the same time. Impossible!

Ah…the beauty of entertaining like-minded souls is in the allowance. We are able to openly discuss many subjects of the conscious mind. I notice there is still a massive disconnection. We are suffering from spiritual deprivation. I know they are millions feeling this massive shift of awareness, however, due to the overwhelming negativity of the pointing-fingers syndrome, no one discusses their faith with anyone. No one wants to be ridiculed. No one wants to die. The deprivation grows larger and before you know we are all scattered and left to fend for ourselves and spirit.

Spirituality is a lonely path. My steps cannot be walked by you and vice versa. We can, however, compare the paths. We can discuss the different ways we come into prayer, contemplation and meditation. We can share experiences that are beyond this realm. We can go deep into conversations about stars, planets, and cosmic energy. We can trust in each other when someone shares something that is fantastic and magical. Just because you haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I haven’t experienced homelessness but I sure believe in it. I haven’t experienced war but I now it’s there. So, these are folks that want more. They crave for spiritual knowledge. They eat, sleep, watch and read all sorts of information trying to rationalize or enrich their faith. For centuries religions have done this. It’s part of our DNA, we must grow into the unknown. It’s pretty sad that in today’s world we can still be deprived by the simplest forms of human needs: mind, body and spirit.

I don’t have answers on how to find more spiritual connections. I really haven’t a clue. At least ten times a week I get a message from someone asking for spiritual retreats, meet-ups, or just comments on wanting connections with Spirit. I can only tell you that at times what you are looking for in others is right inside of you if you just sit long enough to listen.

I am determined to raise my vibration to the highest form of love and dispel negative emotions. When I’m having a bad day, or worrying over crap, I need to quiet the ego bitchiness and center myself to what matters. I have to return to Source. I enter quietude through meditation or writing or just being in nature. It’s in those moments that Spirit visits me. It’s in those precious minutes that the universe cradles me with unbelievable forms of awareness through love. And, it’s also in those times that forgiveness arrives and I can let go of all that is causing me such turmoil and chaos. I walk away feeling like me. I am still a spiritual being having a human experience. I am choosing to make it less dense with emotional baggage.

You have the answers to all your spiritual questions. You carry with you the spiritual knowledge to change, feed and enhance your life through divine guidance. You are all there is. Sure it’s awesome to share with others. Heck yeah! It’s comforting to know you aren’t bat-ass crazy and the looney farm has a room with your name on it waiting for you to check yourself in. That’s always wonderful to acknowledge.

Likes attract likes. If you want more spiritually grounded individuals in your life you have to become one yourself without the fear of being scrutinized. You also have to look around your circle and realize when you have to let go of toxic energy. You have to put yourself in the arms of respect and self-worth. What good will it do you to find spiritual folks and then return to a place that destroys the yummy energy?

Go love you. Go believe in yourself. Go be spiritual through the forest, by the shoreline, over the desert, on a mountain top. I’m so glad we have each other. Now go be the yummiest version of you. Just BE! You got this!

Your Passion 


I am rarely shocked by anything or anyone. There’s really not much that can shake me up and deeply put me in a state of deep wordlessness. At the same token there are things that others say they are impossible and I claim them to be probable. It’s in that place of astonishing amazement that magic moves. It’s in the moments of mystical surprises that we evolve and surpass a place of bewilderment. Our passion fuels us and heightens our perception. What we know to be true changes constantly. Our desires and dreams move from where we are now into what we aspire for tomorrow. 

Follow the heart’s desires. It knows more than the logical mind. Nothing exciting ever happens in the comfort of conformity and dullness. Venture into the unknown and trust that the Universe has your back at all times.

The Canvas

 

There is a composition unlike any other
in perfect harmony
that only its artist could create,
without duplication,
stipulation,
colored to perfection.
This is the canvas of my soul,
in hues of purple and pink,
with hints of mint and greens
splashed to run against the light.
There is a sanctuary
upon the curves and lengths of its frame,
so full of imagery,
of love,
of a silent language spoken from the heart.
There is an arrangement of places,
among the horizon
that landscape the shapes,
shades,
mosaic of my thoughts.
There are feelings covering its values
and depth painted in the chromatic of truth
proportionally expressing all there is.
And, somewhere in its tones
there is undeniably the casting of faith
grasping to the atmosphere swimming
in a composition of integrity and serenity.
This is the canvas of my spirit,
with all its illustration,
a Renaissance of antiquities,
that lies deeply only in me
while the Creator watches
and smiles at His one-and-only masterpiece.

In Darkness


I lay…

As darkness embraces

Every part of my skin.

I breathe deeply

Thinking of you

Holding my soul

In your hands again.
I feel your touch,

Your desire,

Your love,

Of what was once.
I feel the light of the moon,

The stars,

Infinite galaxies guiding me

Back to what was us.
I am missing a part of me.

I try to shake it off,

Disregard it,

Substitute it,

Excuse it…

To no avail.
I have nothing left

But memories.

I have everything left

But moments.
You are here with me

In this darkness

Holding me as I fall

Back into the arms

Of who you were once

In some parallel life.
But I lay

Alone

Still missing a part

Of my essence

That I gave to you

Long ago.

The Me Without You

lovers departing

There was you

before everything…

trapped in a drawer of memories

that has been moved ferociously

from one spot to another

trying to find a light that

can shine common sense

on it.

 

Then,

there wasn’t you anymore.

And life has moved on

without a single wink,

blink or sense of human loss.

 

The sun still came out.

The moon still hung around.

The seas never parted.

The earth never fell apart.

 

No one noticed how this

profound lack of love

has affected the world.

 

Life has gone on without a trace

of us.

There was you

when there was

a YOU.

 

There was me before I knew loss

when the tingling of truth,

passion and desire

touched

the core of my existence.

 

I have begged consciousness

to remind me where I placed those contents

I removed from that drawer long ago.

Now there are fragments

of us

scattered in limbo

in between here and there

lingering for a connection.

 

Will we ever get it right,

this simple thing

that reminds us of what’s missing?

Will we ever do it right

rhythmically, at the same time,

without the detours that have

erased the path to each other?

 

You were home.

You are the embodiment

that housed my essence.

Life has proceeded.

The me without you is still here.

Waiting…

Sighing…

Breathing…

Tic…Toc…

 

For a miracle

that would return my soul

to the me without you

so I can once again…

exhale without a small reminder

of YOU

and the us

before I ever vanished.