It’s About Love

I want you to put your hand over your heart area. I want you to close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Become aware of your rhythm. Your heart is not the place of love. It’s the place of life. It pumps blood to your body. Now I want you to think of how you feel when you are with loved ones, when you are touched and caressed, when you are held in gratitude. That feeling comes from your mind…from the deepest part of consciousness. It is the essence of soul.

We get to decide who and what we love because we are love. I’ve never understood why the heart was associated with love because I feel it all over. I feel it in my head and in my toes. I feel it when I hear stories or hold a friend in need. I feel it in hugs and words and silence.

Everything in my life is about reaching the highest vibration of soulfulness…which is love.

Darlings, your heart gives you life. Your consciousness expands through love. You are LOVE. We are connected through it. It isn’t a hippie-fied movement. It’s the awakening to truth.

~m.a.p.

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Your Purpose is your GPS

For a few months my husband and I were prepared for a huge change. We had decided to take another child, my sweet babies’ little sister. Unless a miracle happened and she was able to stay with her foster family (she’s been there since she was born and she’s 15 months old) we would fight to make sure she would come with us.

The energy was in motion. No regrets. No hesitations. We knew what was right. We also felt miracles happening. What seemed to be an impossible situation would be cleared up.

I didn’t share publicly. I did not want to hear one single person judge me on “not another kid, Millie!” Or anything else. I needed to send the vibes to the broken system of Florida foster care and the courts. I needed all my energy to fight for what is the best possible outcome for our granddaughter. So I did. We did. My husband and I talked about it daily. We made changes in our lives and home. We began to prepare for whatever we needed to do. And we did. Every day came closer to vibrational alignment.

Yesterday we heard that the agency will allow for the foster family to keep her just as she’s been. It was a miracle indeed. It has been an ongoing battle that has made many of us truly uncomfortable (to be left in the hands of a privatized company that doesn’t see the welfare of the child but dollar signs). There was a possibility she would be going into an unsafe environment. We still have to go to court in a few weeks but that decision was a tremendous relief, not because we didn’t want her here, but because

she has a family she’s loved since the day she was taken from my daughter.

I share this because the moment you release and surrender to the divine is the moment the universe begins to align with your energy.

You don’t have to share publicly as you struggle. You don’t have to fight naysayers. You just stick with your faith and send the energy out for the best possible outcome.

I know folks will always want the best for you. Some don’t understand your choices. Some will challenge your beliefs. Some will expect you to change your mind. Some will make you feel as if you are insane. But, darling, you DO YOU. You do what you need to do for you and your family.

And, let me share something that is magical…I have come to the acceptance that I have to fight for other children. I recognize now that I’ve been fighting for children’s rights since I was in my 20’s. It hasn’t been only through taking them into my home. It’s been through standing up for a system in our society that is fractured and deeply wounded. I will continue to do so however that shows up.

Our spirituality is a personal fit and wear. I teach and learn through those who have little voices. And I will continue to take in whoever needs it whether in my home or just fighting to keep them safe. I am not asking permission. I am stating a fact instead of having to duck my head down not to cause discomfort around me. Judgment is always available!

Now you…get out there and recognize your truth and your purpose. It might feel like a small defeat or it might be a huge fight. Surrender to the mysticism of what you believe that you are guided at all times.

Blessings. Be guided by the higher powers. I love you.

Love is What I Do

Many years ago I dated a man, on and off for several years, who said that my biggest problem and Character flaw was that I loved too hard. In my ignorance (and lack of worth) I continued to love him harder when he didn’t respect that love. I gave all of me without keeping some of that love for myself. Apparently my “hard love” triggered him and brought up issues from childhood. So I loved harder until I was able to step away from his lack of love … for me and for himself.

I learned a lot about love through the rejection and the criticisms of how I was overwhelming. I suffocated him with all the emotions. I choked him with unconditional openness.

This is me. He wasn’t ready for that vibration or frequency that comes from just loving without expectations. He wasn’t able to accept any kind of love. He wasn’t willing to heal and that’s okay.

I love…sometimes until I don’t like the person but continue to hold sacred heart for them.

I love while separating the toxicity and disrespect. I cut ties while setting boundaries.

I love, in spite of hurt, because it is the catalyst that always heals, especially self love through forgiveness.

Love isn’t the words but the actions behind them. It isn’t the actions alone but the frequency of truth and respect. It’s isn’t just truth and respect but the authenticity of how you show up through the boundless and limitless expanse of your essence. We are love. It isn’t hard to give. It isn’t hard to receive. It just is.

So love. Without expectations or rules.

Love hard or easy; soft or loud; neatly or disorganized. Love is why we are here. It’s how we show up and continue to evolve.

And one last thing:

I love you. Yes, even if I don’t know you. I love because that’s what I do.

Forgive Yourself

Almost six years ago I had a near death experience. When I woke the next day in the hospital the neurologist spoke to me and told me that stress can kill us. I knew this. But in spite of knowing something we don’t always practice it. She said, “You don’t know what you don’t know until you do!” She had witnessed grown men who had been in the military turn comatose after the shock. She had witnessed completely healthy women have heart attacks from broken hearts and then have strokes. At that moment I realized I had been given a gift. And this gift was to be mindful of how I carried the weight of the world on me. I don’t have to fix every single thing or person. I don’t have to even try. I just need to continue trusting that I get to be where I am suppose to be daily and I serve humanity in the simplest forms. I get to forgive myself when I want to reach and be there for another but I’m too exhausted. Or when I don’t call or communicate to loved ones as much as I should. I get to honor my mind, body and spirit without the guilt I used to have. Then…only then…can I continue living a life that’s a delicious blessing.

Forgive yourself for what you think others expect from you. Forgive yourself for not wanting to over-extend your energy. Be mindful that you are only required to show up and love. You take care of your immediate family in the best way you can. The rest of the world will continue living. Be gentle with you. Let go of all that past programming. You’ve got this.

Stories that Connect Us

Today I heard a story that cracked me wide open. It was one of those stories of loss, grief, and survival that lingered all day. I sat with the soul who shared and wept as she shared memories of her deceased son. I held her hand and, together in the silence, we held space for each other.

I had nothing of words to share. All I could do was give my love through the energy of touch. I loved her deeply. I felt her pain. I felt her emptiness. I felt her soul. I also felt her love.

I heard her forgiveness as she processed the loss, while questioning God for taking him. She went through the layers of grief and I could feel her release. Her body began to surrender.

It was powerful. It was truly an honor to witness her bloom. She was coming out of muck into something that she didn’t recognize.

I am forever moved by the human spirit and the millions of stories that connect us. There are stories within stories that teach us to dig in the depth of our own humanity. We either learn while evolving spiritually or stay stagnant and live in a hell of emotional imprisonment. There is no in between when it comes to these empathetic connections.

I find myself holding space for myself during these times. I step back and count the blessings with the Divine. All that is loss moves through pain while holding on to the past. All that is gained moves through love and forgiveness in acceptance of what is now. The awareness is always there but our perception isn’t always so clear. We are thrown into the flux of human emotion as we forget our spiritual journey. Once we set humanness aside and return to spirit we are aligning again with truth. We become aware of who we are. The grief doesn’t disappear. We are able to accept, visit with it, and move through it…until next time. We no longer wear it as a shield as not to get hurt ever again.

And this is why we must share with others. This is why the stories must be told. What you experience may just be someone’s life jacket to keep going.

We expand. We aren’t merely surviving. We are living. We are here to truly evolve through love and letting go. We are here to walk the sacred journey until we are not. What we do with our time is truly mystical. We are asked to just show up and allow for the mysterious to unfold.

I love you.

Embrace Your Gifts

I had some sweet gifts as a little girl from the age of four. My mother didn’t know what to do with me when speaking to our dead ancestors. She took me to a spiritualist on the island to get whatever was inside of me out. When that didn’t work she took me to a psychologist. She demanded I stop the nonsense.

So I did. I stopped it for decades. It caused anxiety. It gave me migraines. I was so stumped that my energy was toxic…to myself.

Finally when I moved to these mountains of Western North Carolina, leaving an old life behind, the “gifts”began to unfold. I was in my early 40’s.

I ran to a therapist and asked her to test me to see if I was schizophrenic. I knew I must be. My mother, who had long passed, kept those insecurities alive. I was blessed to have a therapist who allowed me to embrace the “openings and expansions.”

I wasn’t crazy. Okay…maybe a little loonie but not in a harmful way. I am eccentric. 😝

See, my darlings, you aren’t bat-shit crazy when you clearly feel and see and sense other realms. You are gifted. Stop being afraid of what others think. I struggled with that all my life.

I love you. Embrace your individuality with your spiritual body. This is your superpower. Use it to help light the world. You’ve got this!

What is

Some folks come in and highlight past triggers. They push the dark emotions up and about. In my case I get a few who remind me of my mother and how judgmental and controlling she was. I revert into the little girl. I find myself avoiding confrontations. Then I step back and realize the unhealed parts of my inner child.

I embrace it. I become aware of the role they are playing. That doesn’t mean I attack the person triggering me. It doesn’t mean I am nasty or passive aggressive. It doesn’t mean anything because it’s not about them. It’s about me and how I allow the energy to show up.

I get to decide how I perceive things. I get to choose what I allow and what I release. People are amazing teachers. I am always asking what is this person teaching me? What is the message here?

What I am learning is that when we don’t heal those parts of ourselves we are opened to the teachers coming in more frequently. Until we forgive and set appropriate boundaries those lessons will keep showing up. Until we learn from them we cannot graduate to something else.

So stop and detect. Breathe through the moments without reacting. Allow the present moment to dictate instead of the past. You can’t change what happened back there. You can, however, change what happens now.

We have choices every single day to show up and not overthink. We are always evolving. We aren’t stuck in any one stage. It’s an ongoing journey. There is no good or bad…only a perspective of how we view the world.