The Secret to Change

The secret to change is in the awareness.

We are so hard on ourselves. You notice that? How deeply ridiculous we treat ourselves at times? We aren’t always that hard with others.

Saturday I was sent the final edits for my memoir, Erasable. I opened up the manuscript and became paralyzed. There wasn’t much to change but the idea of having to re-read this story (MY STORY) oh my gosh… it brought me to my knees.

I had to relive parts of me I had forgotten. I wrote the first part of this memoir 20 years ago, right after my accident. I worked on it 2 years ago and redid a lot of it. But it’s been a long while since I went detail by detail, line by line, word by word, mano a mano.

I was still under the weather dealing with the crud. I was struggling just to take care of the kids and myself. And, here in an email, comes this manuscript with a timely deadline in order to get it out on 1/11/23.

So, I cried. I let the publisher know that maybe this wasn’t a good enough book to finish. The editor and publisher immediately returned my email with suggestions and loving support. I understand a lot of authors at the last minute fear their words being put out there. They talked me off the ledge. They suggested I call a mutual friend of ours (who had put out a book earlier this year). She held my hair and my hand throughout the day from many miles away and she was vital to my ability in moving through all the emotions.

I worked on it Saturday and Sunday and it was sent back.

Was it hard? Not once I started!
Was it emotional? You betcha!
Does it share a message that others will understand? I have no doubt!
It is me at my most vulnerable. It’s raw, and real.

To read of the woman I was then and the woman I’ve become now in a book… it’s something. It’s transformational.

The secret to change is always in the awareness because once you know better, you do better. Once you become responsible and accountable for your decisions, your choices, and your life… the world opens up in a very different frequency.

Fear will stop us from succeeding. Had I let that fear of being seen take over, there may not be a book. For that matter, I wouldn’t be writing the way I write daily. I believe that stories connect us. Words comfort us, move us, and allow us to recognize that we aren’t alone.

I love you. Thanks for always being here with me.

Millie ❤️

Changing Perspective

About 21 years ago my ex and I hit a horrific financial pitfall. We owned an Industrial Distribution company and when 9/11 hit we pretty much lost A LOT in the stock market. Just like millions, we lost the ability to trust in what we couldn’t see. I ended up moving from South Florida to Central Florida with six kids while he stayed behind to salvage what was left. I worked on the business from my tiny rental home. Slowly we began to figure out how to navigate the storms.

That Thanksgiving there wasn’t much money. A week before the holiday, I woke one morning to a voice in my little head that clearly stated to help those in need in Orlando. Truth be told I was one of the needy ones. I went into meditation and I was shown exactly what needed to be done. I wrote a list.

I went to the Dollar store and bought all sorts of food and created 20 baskets. I went into our glass-change jar for this. After a few days I took the baskets to the police station in the worst area and asked the officer to please distribute to whomever he thought needed it most. I explained they needed to have children and/or elderly folks. I had written notes in each basket with personal love cards from God.

He asked if I wanted to schedule a right-along. I told them that I felt he had it. I didn’t need to be there.

Because I followed Guidance, that Thanksgiving ended up being absolutely beautiful. A week later money began to come into our accounts from sources I didn’t even know. We had food. We had shelter. We had health. We had the necessities.

What changed? My perception of the situations.

How did I overcome the loss of our home, the deterioration of our business? I walked one step at a time into the sacred journey. I was held tightly in a conviction that Spirit was guiding me.

It’s in the moments of despair that we find strength. It’s in those moments of uncertainty that Faith shows up and holds our hands. It’s those challenges that teach us how to trust in something omnipotent. We are never quite broken as much as fractured for a bit. We heal and we rise. We are absolutely a tenacious bunch.

Gratitude opens us up to abundance (and this doesn’t necessarily mean money, it could be health, joy, ease, etc.). You don’t have to literally give anything. You can sit and send prayers to those in your life, to the planet, to your ancestors. I sit with 12 months of wonderful experiences, especially the challenging events, and recognize their lessons.

For so many of us, the last few years have actually changed us into new versions of ourselves. We have been polished into new beings because of those experiences.

I love you. Be kind always. Stay in the moment of wonderous gratitude and watch how the Universe/God/Guidance show up in return.

I am deeply grateful for your presence!

Millie

You are a Reflection of Love

The day will come when you won’t be looking for faith outside of you. When you will stop looking for God in temples and religion. You will notice the Divine staring back from the reflection in the mirror. You will see it smiling at you in a homeless person or a loved one taking their last breath. You will find Source in your children as they laugh out loud. You will feel spirit in the kiss from your mate. You will finally recognize our connections and how important it is to be kind and compassionate to everyone even when they don’t accept it. You will find the silence and ability to walk away. You will feel divinity in nature and inhale her wisdom.

You will accept yourself fully and all the power of infinite love.

It is then when you have reached the loving understanding of your purpose through unbounded love. The expectations of anything outside of yourself will dissolve around you.

You will see you. And you will walk this earth seeing love and compassion in all things without judgment. You will feel the truth of your existence.

I see you. I feel you. I know the God in you is also the God in me. I love you.

Millie

Trust vs. Hope

For several years now I have shifted my language. I used to say “I hope” and now I say “I trust.”

To me there is a difference in the way I use the words. When I use hope it feels like a desire and expectation. It doesn’t feel like it is very reliable.

Trust is confident. It is faithful. Trust is believing that things will manifest. It is knowing that things happen in divine timing.

Hope does not feel that way. It feels like it lacks something. I don’t know but try it out for yourself.

I share things with trust rather than hope. Sometimes “hope” is the only thing another person can understand. We relate to what we’ve been programmed to hear.

I trust that things happen. I have faith in them. When I pray or meditate I go into the practice with trust, not hope. Hoping for something feels powerless. Trusting in something feels very empowering.

Trusting you have a deliciously magical day.
I love you.

Millie

Finding Happiness

Seven years ago today, I had the most amazing pleasure of attending a reading, along with Q&A, for Elizabeth Gilbert’s new book Big Magic. It was indeed magical. Listening to her speak is like being with a close friend. She’s down to earth and approachable. What you see is what you get! Some of the audience’s questions felt like subjects I have questioned myself on many occasions.

Gilbert stood on stage gracefully, and honestly, answering to the best of her spiritual wisdom. I went home floored. I’ve read the book about creativity but this event was more for my heart to open and remember what’s important. There are questions that hit home: What is truth and how do you live by it always?

We fear hurting someone else. But, when we stand in our own light of truth it is important to stay there. Allowing others to tarnish and use your kindness, creativity, or whatever is not living an authentic life. She said at some point that “self-care requires a great amount of self-discipline.” We deviate from our rituals to make others happy. We go-go-go and refuse to take time for ourselves.

Here’s the thing that I have learned and at times I forget: DO NOT, by any means, allow another to steal your joy and happiness. Do not dive into the waters of a martyr or a victim because of circumstance, events, or toxic people. Do not participate in drama unless you want a Masters in Fine Arts degree from those people who will bring you down to low frequencies while making you forget who you are. Do not, by any means, avoid your heart’s yearning so another person can feel better. Live life with self-love and self-care. It’s imperative that you listen to your voice, that small echo that cries in your dreams, that whispers in the shower, that sings in the car… forcing you to chase happiness.

I remember years ago I read a quote in a restaurant while sitting on a toilet. Someone had written it on the back of the door: “Happiness is HELL for victims.” For a few moments I stared at it thinking, “Wow, what possessed someone to write that in here? What would cause a soul the need to write something so powerful and remind others how important happiness can be for our essence?” I kept thinking of the woman and what she must have been enduring.

So, with that in mind BE Joyful! BE happy. Most importantly BE truthful with your word and your spirit. I love you!

Millie

It’s Happening

Oh my goodness!

It’s becoming real! Just got off a Zoom meeting with my publisher. My memoir: Erasable, has a tentative publishing date of 1/11/23 (which is my favorite number 111). It’s almost here.

It took me 20 years to write this book. T-w-e-n-t-y! It has been a labor of love, vulnerability, trust, courage, and acceptance. In the process it has released and healed me. Each word navigates my sacred journey from invisibility to clarity.

I cannot wait to have it in my hands and available for you to read it.

Woohoo! It’s happening. I am giddy… can you tell?

I am beyond grateful for the support from my community.

I love you…Millie

Telling Stories

Someone asked me a while ago if I ever get tired of telling stories, to which I replied, “Do you ever get tired of breathing?”

We both laughed. Humor is underrated you know. We need to lighten up.

Telling stories is about connection. We have aha moments confirming our own journeys. We don’t feel alone. We are struck by divine lessons and raised to awareness of all sorts of yumminess. Sharing a story is humanness. It is how we learn and teach. It’s how we expand and shift consciousness.

We all have them… stories. We all know them. But when we read, or hear a story, a part of us opens up to endless possibilities. That’s story telling at its best. That’s why we read novels and watch movies.

I hope and pray you never ever stop telling your stories. I hope they continue to change others and inspire growth. I love those stories that are tended and polished from the core of spirit. They are freaking yummilicious! I love the stories that are also not told but carried like scars on you as proof of your badassery. Those stories taste and smell and look like magic to me. All of them. And of course there will always be some stories that are lovelier than others. We receive them from our point of reference. We relish them when they mirror our own journey.

So no! I don’t get tired of sharing stories. I love humanity and how it shows up in the most vulnerable of moments. Those are my favorites… when the person doesn’t know that they are creating magic for others to witness. The majority of people are truly wanting love, to be loved, to share love and live through love.

It’s really that simple. Two things interest me: love and connections. If I can bring them for others together, I am in heaven. If I can sit and share space with you so you can show me your soul, darlings, I am made for that!

I love you,

Millie

The Gift of Darkness

I met Nikki in Starbucks this morning. She was three people behind me in the line. Once I ordered I walked towards her and whispered, “I’m sure you get this a lot but you are absolutely gorgeous.”

She looked into my eyes and told me she didn’t.

“What’s wrong with people?” I asked smiling.

“Thank you so much for that compliment.” Her eyes began to tear up. “I don’t feel well today.”

“Girl, you fake it well.” I asked her for a hug and she began to cry.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, sweetheart! It’s only one day. You fake it well. Actually that’s such shit, you know. That whole statement of faking it till you make it. It’s like stomping vulnerability in fear that the world will witness your humanity!”

She cried while nodding in agreement. I reached for her hands.

“Talk to me. Tell me what’s aching in that tender heart?”

She shared right there in line, after she placed her order. She let go briefly of something so harsh and it came out in small syllables. So we hugged. We connected. I told her it was one day. It was one month. It was just life but that came short of what truly aches in her. I will never know the entire story and I don’t care to. What I know is that she was hurting.

I felt the break. I kissed her cheek and told her I would send her loving light and prayers. She accepted them. And just like that it was over.

It only takes one second to smile or reach towards another. She needed that release. I happened to be the catalyst and it could have been anyone.

Mary Oliver’s line is always one I use to remind myself that in darkness there are gifts just as many as in light. It’s all how you show up and allow for the lessons to unfold. Don’t let one situation dictate your entire life. Life fluctuates between the dark and the light… and they are both encompass by love.

I love you,

Millie

Healing

Healing happens sometimes unexpectedly. Other times it requires a lot of purging, digging and yuckiness.

It is painful. And who wants that?

It’s emotional. It’s physical. And it’s spiritual. All of it combined with our programming, personality, beliefs and perception. Everything comes up and we don’t know what is real and how we proceed.

But what’s the alternative?
To sit in denial? Or with guilt? Every so often dive into shame and grief?

We don’t know until we release. We don’t feel freedom until we let go. We don’t begin to truly heal until we forgive.

That forgiveness is not for another. That forgiveness is for you.

You will begin to recognize years, or a lifetime, of self-sabotage and repression being lifted. We are our worst enemy at times.

How can we help one another? By sharing. By being authentic and vulnerable. Together we can rewrite and heal old wounds. You don’t have to do it alone if you don’t want to. It’s okay…that’s why we are friends.

But I would love the chance to sit in sacredness with you and allow you to truly let go. If you are interested in a session please go to the link below.

I love you.

Millie

http://sacredjourneyinward.com

Release it to the Cosmos

(Google image since I could not take a picture of the man.)

This morning on my way to take the kids to camp, I watched a young man, half-naked, on the side of the interstate yelling at the trees and sky. It was right before 7AM. My windows were down and as I passed him I heard, “F*cK You!” as his fists were pointing upward.

I had this sensation of stopping, but I had the kids. And I am not part of this man’s story. A piece of me marveled at the ability to shout out to the Heavens, that raw vulnerability (even if he was strung out on something) to say exactly what he was feeling.

Most of us don’t.

We bury the pain or the anger. We bulldoze over it. We expect things will change and get angry when they don’t. We demand, beg, plead and complain about it.

Whenever I’ve had enough, I climb the tallest mountain around here early enough not to bump into anyone. When I get to the top, I sit on the largest boulder. The cows on that field surround me. Then I yell to the top of my lungs. I don’t stop till I feel the energy move through me. I sit for a bit. I may cry. I may write. I may just close my eyes and allow the sensations of nature embody me. I become still, smelling the earth, tasting the wind, hearing my heart beat.

I watched this man today and recognized it is time for another trip up the mountain. Those releases are powerful. I had a special pillow for one of my children when she was small so that she could hit it and yell. It was just a way for her to stabilize her little emotional body. Sometimes it was exactly what she needed. Other times it made it worst. We always found a happy medium.

This man needed this today. He had enough (or not enough). Who knows!

Today, allow yourself to feel what needs to move through you. Lock yourself in the car and yell. Scream in a pillow. Allow the energy to move through you and don’t filter it, avoid it, or reject it. Our bodies are transitioning with all the collective madness. If you can’t give yourself permission to let it out, your physical body begins to absorb it all in toxic ways. Self-care is also about releasing the things that haunt you.

I love you! Go love yourself as well!

Millie