Believe in your truth

When someone says that you are impossible, unlovable, not worth anyone’s time…anything negative or degrading…please believe them. Believe what they say to be true to THEM. Believe that in those words they are showing you a part of their own ugliness and insecurities. Also believe that they aren’t worth your time. Those who say they are brutally honest can be brutal bullies. DO NOT own what they say…do not inhale it into your spirit. You do NOT acknowledge any of it because it’s not your truth. Don’t take in the lies. You know your authentic self better than anyone else. However, DO remember what they tell you, forgive them and get rid of the negativity. You DO NOT need that toxic energy in your life. You are magnificently beautiful. Never let another person’s bullshit become yours. We are all struggling in our own ways and it takes a hurt person to hurt another. Compassion and kindness are contagious. Show them what that looks like…always. Success isn’t about money…it’s about living your life with integrity, love and truth!



Mile Marker

mile markers

A sweet wise woman this past weekend shared some magnificent insight into our psyche. She said that “we all have markers…like mile markers in our lives that become significant points of reference.” These markers define major parts into our psychological health as they contribute to all the choices and how we react in the future. I understand these events in our lives. They start from the moment we are born and we work to either avoid them or feed them. If you are abandoned by a parent as a child that pivotal moment becomes a marker. You may spend the rest of your life feeling the abandonment with relationships, strangers, or other events. That particular mile marker leads the path to others. So how do we let go of the markers?

I believe we do it by consciously realizing they exist. They are lessons along the way but they don’t light the way unless we keep repeating similar issues. It’s like getting off a freeway and getting back on to pass the same mile marker over and over. We can fall into this place of hopelessness that does not allow us to surpass that mile. Then the next question is how do we consciously become aware if we don’t realize that they are there? Some of these markers are way back in childhood. But, you do know they are there in the subconscious when the same drama continues to unfold with different actors.

Living a life full of conscious awareness is not easy. We have to take responsibility for our lives and everything that happens in it. We cannot blame the world for what happens, will happen or never happens. We have choices. These choices are part lessons and part programming. The spiritual process of letting go requires shutting up the ego and living by faith…the knowing and accepting those things that aren’t in the comfort zone. It’s a matter of accepting the ugliness, the failures, the shame, the disgust and also all the wonderful experiences. We are made of duality. We need the dark in order to have the light and vice versa.

A simple definition for insanity is repeating the same thing over and over while expecting a different result. Detect the projections of others and your participation! Accept your responsibility in your story! Reject the same markers of dramatically filled egos! You got this. You do NOT have to continue living through past markers. You have the power to change the programming and move forward into a life that’s free of hurt and loss. We are not meant to struggle in such a way that we become paralyzed to the freedom of self-love and self-acceptance. Our worth is NOT suppose to be sacrificed. On the other side of this backward mind belief is JOY waiting to be embraced. Your authenticity is powerful and you are the only who can get you there…stop looking at the rear view mirror…you don’t live there anymore! Check out the beauty ahead!!!

Crisis Mode

head in sand

Yesterday I was finally able to visit with a guest/friend who had been staying here for a week.  Our busy schedules didn’t allow for us to sit and catch up.  She asked how I was holding up with this “new addition.”  I answered her, “People normally get 9 months to prepare for a baby.  Even through adoption I had at least a year.  I had 2 hours from the time DSS (Dept. of Social Services) called me to ask for us to pick my granddaughter.  In those two hours I had to get bottles, diapers and formula.  And, then we had to get a playpen.  It was like running around without a head attached.  But, we did it.”

She listened attentively, going through some of her own emotional turmoil from the week, “I guess you go on crisis mode and just do it.”

I turned to look into her eyes and said, “Exactly, you go on crisis mode!  And, that’s what you are going through right now.  That’s how YOU are going to get through this issue yourself.”  It’s beautiful when you come up with the words on your own.  We visited for a small amount of time moving from the week, back to a few months and then retelling a year.  I love the way that happens.   Her words echoed in my heart.  Her story opened me in places I can’t even begin to explain.  She’s a remarkable woman.  I was blessed to have her as my teacher for a little while.

As I was trying to fall asleep I thought about her comment.  Many times we give birth to new situations (often times not pleasant) and we go into crisis mode.  Our survival instinct kicks in and we take care of the matter at hand without second guessing.  I believe, unfortunately, that I work best when I am on crisis mode.  I have no time to think.  My spirit does the guiding.  If I have time to analyze I don’t always accomplish what I am suppose to achieve properly.  Perhaps 22 years in the corporate world taught me to think on my feet.  I don’t know.  I find that successful people tend to go into crisis with a subconscious awareness.  They then step back and fix whatever didn’t go right with analytical compartmentalizing.  These folks don’t go around sticking their heads in the sand every time a situation arises.

We are constantly being pulled by the Divine while shuffling our feet to Ego’s criticism.  When the crisis mode occurs we have little choice on the matter.  Four years ago when my best friend lost her husband at the age of 38 she proceeded on crisis mode like a tornado.  She took care of things rather quickly.  There’s a saying that you shouldn’t make any drastic changes within a year of a huge life event.  But in a matter of four months we packed everything and moved to another state, bought a business, and the crisis mode became a way of life for a long time.  It wasn’t until a few years later that I think she began to see the influence of those quick changes without taking time to examine them beforehand.  We all need time to heal, sit, process, and learn.  It is then that we realize the strength of spirit.  I am always surprised at the resilience of this woman!

After 3-1/2 weeks my crisis mode is finally entering the next stage of acceptance and stability.  I am making no rash decisions, or trying to guess the future outcomes.  That would drive me insane at this point. Every so often Ego visits and I have to shut down completely.  I am having to re-do and modify my personality.  What I see now is that in the process of moving forward without thinking with my head, but with my heart, I have gained invaluable lessons.  Every new adjustment, modification and change in life is a crisis of self.  There’s no difference between a birth of a baby (with 9 months to prepare), or the death of a loved one (with no time to say goodbye), or even a natural disaster destroying your home with all your possessions (without warning).  We are made to withstand dilemmas, catastrophes, and trauma.  It’s within the grace, faith and compassion that we choose to overcome these obstacles that determines our placement in the world.  And, those are beautiful opportunities every day from God.

“When written in Chinese, the word ‘crisis’ is composed of two characters.  One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.” ~ John F. Kennedy